01Nov
Chris would like everyone to know that we saved $77.59 this month on our power bill.
Chris is the Master of Power. (…yawn)
One of the frustrations about the first trimester of a pregnancy is that no one can tell you are pregnant yet. And everyone knows that without the belly, you aren’t REALLY pregnant… But after some deep self-discovery, I have realized that first trimester pregnant women are actually pretty easy to spot.
How To Spot a First Trimester Pregnant Woman:
1. She’s the one who makes awkward statements to coworkers and strangers like, “My embryo grows ears this week.”
2. She’s the one who believes burping loudly is unavoidable and, therefore, should be socially acceptable.
3. She’s the one who cries at the forwarded emails you send her.
4. She’s the one who sends the memo around her office proposing a management-supported nap time after lunch.
5. She’s the one who refers to her husband as “that bastard who did this to me.”
6. She’s the one who will theaten bodily harm if you block her way to the bathroom.
7. She’s the one who can’t keep anything down but saltines and Snickers.
8. She’s the one who doesn’t sleep at night and walks around disoriented, muttering strange things, then laughing hysterically before breaking into sobs.
9. She’s the one who insists that if you eat the garnish on the plate, a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich satisfies all major food groups.
10. She’s the one who is plastered against the wall of the sushi restaurant, drooling.
11. She’s the one who sips her club soda and lime and tries to look like she’s having as much fun as her dinner partners who are on their 3rd bottle of wine.
12. She’s the one who in the middle of a sentence will suddenly turn green, burp, and then run to the bathroom.
13. She’s the one who cries when she puts on pants in the morning.
14. She’s the one who when you socially ask how she is doing will give you a run down of her physical discomforts, including but not limited to nausea, exhaustion, constipation, insomnia, and the recent pain in her ass formerly known as her husband.
15. She’s the one who looks like a homeless person at work because she can’t seem to drag herself out of bed in time to do things like put on matching earrings or bathe.
16. She’s the one who believes that 1,000 Island salad dressing is an appropriate condiment for any food. Really. Any food.
17. She’s the one who will punch you in the nose if you tell her what she is feeling is natural.
18. She’s the one who takes naps in the bathroom stall at work.
19. She’s the one who would sell her soul for a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
20. She’s the one whose husband looks like he has hasn’t slept for a year and says things like, “Stretchy pants are sexy.”
Well, my friends. I am breaking every rule in my book today. I’m going to talk politics. And I’m going to talk honestly about politics (something else I hardly ever do). If you agree or disagree, if you think I’m right or wrong, if you voted red or blue, I hope you will put these differences aside, as I am learning to do.
I am a Republican. Living in Connecticut, that is like announcing that I am a leper. But try as I might, I can’t hide the fact that my value system is based firmly on the Republican platform of less government, less taxes, less foreign affairs. In a nutshell, I believe the government should really keep me safe from harm and that’s about it. I don’t want them in my doctor’s office, my small business, my classroom, my family, or my church. These are the principles that make me a Republican.
In the past 8 years, it hasn’t only been living in Connecticut that has me hiding my Republican philosophies. It has been shame in my party. The governing authorities in power for the past 8 years are not the ones I elected. True, I checked the box and cast my vote for them. But their agenda was not the agenda that I voted for. And for a long time I thought that this meant Republicans were wrong. This was our President. This was our party. This was our platform. If I didn’t agree, then surely I was wrong.
But we all learn as time marches on, and I have learned that I am not wrong. I may not be right, but I am not wrong. The Republican party that I know has strong values, believes in the vitality and independence of the American worker, respects privacy and the decisions of individuals, acknowledges working classes in ALL pay brackets, and, above all, is proud of its country and its leaders. I’m sure if you were to put this list of characteristics in front of any Democrat, they would describe this as the fundamental of their political platform as well.
In the simplest of senses, we all want the same thing. We all want a country that keeps us safe, but we want more than that. We want a country with values and ethics, great potential and the resources to realize that potential. We want a country who is proud and noble without being judgmental or dominating. But there are a thousand different ways to reach these goals. Republicans have one path. Democrats have another.
I had truly hoped this next generation would see the pride and honor of the Republican party that I know. And I had hoped they would experience this through the next President, John McCain. By as early as 8:30 last night, I knew that wouldn’t happen. And I’m not frustrated. I’m not disappointed. I’m actually quite hopeful.
I’m hopeful that I am wrong. I’m hopeful that the ends we all desire can truly be met by a variety of means. I’m hopeful that the nation will respect viewpoints of all different platforms, nationalities, races, genders. And while at this point I am a bit skeptical and doubtful that we have elected the change everyone is so desperate for, I am hopeful that we have.
I am a Republican, and I didn’t vote for the man who made history last night. But I will support him. Because he is going to be my president and because he has inspired so many Americans to see the good in their country again. I will support him cautiously, but confidently.
I wanted change from a different source. But in lieu of that, I’ll take change. Onward and upward can’t begin until we are all on board.
And I am.
06Nov
My sister sent me an email the other day requesting a positive blog about pregnancy, since I seem to be painting it in the most horrific light. I immediately deleted her email and threw up. Since then, however, I have somehow managed to keep my head out of the toilet for not just one day, not two, not three, or four – but a whole week! I’m not going to jinx myself yet and say that I think the worst is past me, but I am feeling a hell of a lot better.
And since I am not cursing my uterus (I said uterus, not baby) every 15 minutes, I have found that lo’ and behold – I love being pregnant!! Its like being part of a secret club, only everyone knows you are in the club and they are either jealous or happy for you. Its pretty awesome.
I’m not sure if I have the “glow” yet, but I know that there are definite things that make me glow on the inside right now:
Sleeping – At first, I was really annoyed with how sleepy I was. I became narcoleptic. I would be talking to someone and just nod right off. Several times I actually cat napped in my car after work before I drove the half hour home because I was THAT exhausted. I used to try to fight it. Just pretend I wasn’t as tired as I was. I wouldn’t alter my schedule or take breaks when I needed them. I just trucked on. But now, I’m learning to embrace the sleepy. When I get tired, I sleep. And I don’t feel guilty anymore. And I’m loving it! We should all get this much sleep all the time! Think how much happier we’d be if we could just doze off whenever we felt like it!
Maternity Clothes – Now, I had heard me some horror stories about maternity clothes. One time before, when I had just found out I was pregnant, I wondered through the maternity clothes section at Target and I almost had a heart attack. A size medium looks like WHAT?!?! And then there was the whole Motherhood trip from hell. But in recent weeks my belly has taken off, and I actually can’t fit into my regular pants anymore. I sent a picture of my belly to my mom who immediately freaked out that I was still trying to squeeze into a size 4 pants. Two days later, a giant box of maternity clothes showed up on my doorstep. Thanks, Mom! And let me tell you. It was Heaven. Heaven. I pulled out the pants and was a little freaked out by the elastic band, but when I put them on it was a beautiful thing. Suddenly, I didn’t look fat and lumpy, I actually looked pregnant. And the maternity tops are cut to accentuate your belly, not hide it. So your belly takes a cute round shape instead of rolling over the top of your pants. I LOOK SO CUTE NOW!!
Bagels – Every morning for as long as I can remember, I have had two pieces of toast with butter for breakfast. And I have been perfectly happy. But now, 2 pieces of toast fills me up for exactly 5.7 seconds. So, I switched over to bagels WITH cream cheese! Its like a paradise I never knew existed. Now I crave bagels all the time. With cream cheese, butter, peanut butter. As a sandwich or melted with cheese. Doesn’t matter. I love them all. I love them so much, I wrote them a song: (ahem…)
(to be sung to the tune of Ode To Joy)
Bagels, bagels, I adore thee
Soft and chewy, or hard with crunch.
Served with cream cheese or with butter
Bagels, you make my heart rejoice!
Prettiness – Under normal circumstances, it would never be appropriate for a male co-worker/stranger/mailman to tell you that you are pretty. But when you’re pregnant, apparently that rule is voided. Everyone tells me how pretty I am! Even some of our students have told me! If you know someone who is pregnant, tell them they are pretty. I can guarantee you that no matter how inappropriate it might feel, you will receive a gold star for life. There are so many UNpretty things about pregnancy that hearing someone say how nice you look (even if you know its not true because you are still wearing yesterday’s socks), it just makes my day!
Talking – I have started talking to the baby ever since it grew ear holes last week. I know it can’t really hear anything until 12 weeks, but I don’t care. I only talk to it in my car though, where no one can hear me sound like a lunatic. But I do talk to him. I ask how its day was and tell him about mine. Its kind of fun. Chris has talked to him a few times, too. When Chris talks to him, he talks through my belly button. Like a microphone. Its pretty funny. I can’t understand what he says because he’s all pushed up against my stomach, and I keep telling him not to talk so loud! But, its really cute. And that makes me glow.
Taco Bell – I can’t live without it.
So far, its been pretty rough being pregnant. But I think things are starting to look up. I’ve got more energy, and I’m enjoying food again. And sometimes, just sometimes, I think I might even glow a little. And that sort of makes the whole head-in-the-toilet thing worth it…
