Marriage Confessions,  Pregnancy

It Just Keeps Gettin’ Better and Better

Imagine these deep colored, squiggly lines all of your belly.  Now pity me.
Imagine these deep colored, squiggly lines all of your belly. Now pity me.

Stretch marks suck.

So do women who don’t get them.

Remember that post I did a while ago on the things I couldn’t live without during my pregnancy? I said one of the things was Palmer’s Tummy Butter because it had kept me from getting stretch marks. I would now like to amend that statement, please.

Palmer’s Tummy Butter does the best it can until month 8. At month 8 all bets are off and your stomach will have to fend for itself. At least, it will if you are MY tummy. And how has my tummy chosen to fend for itself? By rolling over and playing dead. The stretch marks have walked across it and paraded their hideous stamp of ownership and my stomach wants nothing to do to fight them off.

At first, I thought they were kind of cute. They were around my belly button and I would laugh and tell Chris, “Look! Its like my stomach is cracking!” Now, they have surrounded my entire belly and are slowly working their way south. They no longer look like cracks, but more like shattered glass. Its not like my stomach is cracking. Its like my stomach was smashed into a thousand little pieces.

At my last doctor’s appointment, I asked my doctor what I could do about the stretch marks.

“Use your tummy butter!” she sang.

“I. Am. Using. My. Tummy. Butter.” I responded through clenched teeth. “Will these go away after the birth?”

(Pause)

(Even longer pause)

(Even longer, more uncomfortable pause)

“They will fade significantly,” she finally replied.

Fade significantly? What the crap does that mean? Cause it sounds to me like she just basically told me to get used to it, kid.

Well, this is just perfect. Now I’ll have a road map of all the back roads in lower Alabama on my stomach FOREVER along with a beautiful scar from my C-section. Bikini season, here I come!

Dear Bean,

As your mother, I love you unconditionally already. You are the joy of my life and I haven’t even met you yet. But as a woman, I just want you to know that I will hold this against you for the rest of your life.

Love,
Mom

22 Comments

  • andrea

    my husband has promised me a tummy tuck when we are done having kids. the stretch marks do fade…some. i’d rather deal with just the section scar, my doc did a very good job on that, though it’s always bothered me cause it’s a little off center, can you say anal retentive.

  • Laura

    I am so there with you right now. I didn’t have a SINGLE stretch mark until now in the 8th month. So long, sexy bikinis. Hello, old lady one-pieces. 🙁

    At least until I can convince Hubby to let me get lasered…

  • Lori

    I had only a few stretch marks until about a week AFTER I gave birth! Suddenly they appeared around my belly button and hips. I am not happy about this. Everyday I angrily apply tummy butter.

  • Jenn

    Stretch marks are the devil. They never go away. True they fade and eventually wind up as white marks that never tan. *sigh* Great.

  • Sarah

    Do you want me to show you mine? I have a 3 year old, who you know very well, and yes I too, hold it against her. 🙂

  • Sathya

    Oh I hear you! We just had a gorgeous baby boy in March. Like you, I didn’t get stretch marks till the last 4 weeks.
    Its so gross! Mine haven’t really faded at all. Yet… I hope the coming weeks go well. I only found your blog a week or two ago but I have quickly become obsessed, hurrying to your site every time you post something new!

  • Alora

    Ah stretch marks…Yup, you’re stuck with them. I managed to get through 8 months with not a single mark…and then they appeared seemingly over night.

    I now have two sons and my tummy looks like some freakish albino zebra. But it is true that they fade, they just don’t tan.

    Thanks for blogging, I just discovered your blog today and I love it!

  • Hilary

    Wow! I am so glad I’m not alone! I got mine at 8 months as well and they have faded (but are still there). I also had that annoying brown tummy line (linea nigra?) for about nine months AFTER the baby was born. Now I hate to add to further future misery but my single greatest gripe with my post-pregnancy body are my sad, deflated boobies. I breast-fed for one freaking month and the boobs went from full and perky to limp and saggy. I can’t stand to look at them. Please, please, please enjoy them while you have them. Admire them and show them off.

  • Jayme

    I didn’t think I had any strech marks… until i was about to have the babe… my doctor was like… oh you have strech marks. i was SOOOOOO big that i couldn’t see below the top of my stomach. They do fade quite a bit. I’m now using a skin firming lotion, and it seems to be helping with the streched out skin! Every mark is worth it though… part of the mommy badge 🙂

  • Keiko

    Hi,

    Just want to say I love your blog! Brings back great memories when I was preggers with my daughter 3 years ago 🙂 And sadly, I also have stretch marks… all. over. my. stomach. 🙁 I call them my battle wounds. I hear that rubbing baby oil on your tummy after giving birth helps. Though I haven’t tried it cause I just heard about it. Probably works better when you do it right after giving birth, but I am no expert.

  • Miss M!

    I had a baby last October. I was sailing through my pregnancy, also using my Palmer’s (I opted for the Organic Stretch Mark Cream) and happy about no stretch marks. Then at the end of July, I noticed ONE. Within a week and a half I was covered in them! On the fronts of my thighs too. BLAH!

    They look nasty now, but I promise you, they fade. It takes a while, but they do indeed fade from that scary dark color. It will never be like it was before, but it’s not as dire as it looks now and will look right after your Bean comes.

  • Liz, JM, and Leo

    You will get your body back… I promise. I know it’s obnoxious at this point… hang in there… you’re doing great! And for what it’s worth – I’m still breastfeeding now (so I’ve been doing this for 21 months) and my breasts are just fine (was that possibly too much information 🙂 – I just wanted to give you some encouragement!). So, everyone is different. And they really really do fade… And situps do wonders post-baby.

  • Gina

    I come from a family of mostly women, my mother has 5 sisters and 2 brothers.

    ALL of my Aunts and female cousins that gave birth didn’t get ANY stretch marks what-so-ever. Nothing. Nada. Zip!

    Of course…me on the other hand is a different story. I don’t have any kids yet, but I have the marks on my knees (?!) and butt from my 7 inch growth spurt. I hold NO hope for me… 🙁

    One of my Aunts who had 3 huge boys said she used to put Vitamin E oil every day before and after each of her pregnancies. Try that…maybe it might work!

  • thyhand

    Hey, there. I stumbled upon your site through your comment on PW. I am 38 weeks today, so we are pretty close. That watermelon looks very familiar:-). This is our third child, so I’m no stranger to stretch marks. I got used to mine- they are proof that I carried my children- they mean one piece bathing suits, but that is a small price to pay. Best of luck to you these last weeks!!

  • Donna

    I have a c-section scar and the dreaded stretch marks. You can probably find a bikini bottom that would cover the strech marks, they have the high waist style bottoms. The hard part is getting your abs back. I am almost at a year and just now I feel like they are getting stronger.

    Good luck on making it through tomorrow!

  • Jennifer

    I know at this point of preggo land nothing is off limits. But as a scrolled down to read the daily blog, I wouldn’t have been surprised to have seen a belly pic. You are hilarious and a crazy redhead (spoken by a fellow redhead)! Love your blog.

  • Cat

    Nothing I used stopped them from coming. But the good side: I didn’t get any new ones the second time around… just reused the first ones.

    My kids think they are entertaining. My 2 year old likes to pull up my shirt and trace them with his finger… drives me crazy.

  • Joanie

    Well…they won’t always be that awful purply-red color, if that’s any consolation. 🙁

    With my first I didn’t have stretch marks until the last month. I was so proud until I found that first one. However I consoled myself with the fact that they were all in the lowest parts of my belly. Then baby #2 decided that he needed to map out the northern hemisphere too. And yes, I too, hold it against them. I wouldn’t give them back for a perfect belly though. The Bean is almost here!!!

  • Molly

    I too have strectch marks but I don’t have any kids. I got mine one summer between 8th and 9th grade. I think I grew 2 inches and got a serious set of hips that summer. Mine are mostly around my hips and thighs. They have faded some but they’re still around. 🙁

  • jen

    i have a ton of stretch marks. but then again my first baby i gained 60 lbs (she was 10+ lbs). and they faded-i did get more with my second pregnancy too though (he was 10+ lbs also-but i only gained 40 that time around). I have yet to tan. so i don’t really know how bad they look against tan skin. but as of now they are the same color as my skin-i just look rippley.
    and no worries about the c-section scar. my dr did an awesome job. you would not even see the thing. it was a short very very thin pink line. – i have had too others though since-and one being an emergency. so needless to say it is not so perfect anymore. but nothing a bathing suit or panties can’t cover up.
    you will learn to accept your stretch marks. haha.they sure do suck though!! can’t wait to get a tummy tuck!

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