The Last Supper

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On Sunday night, Chris and I had our last official couples-only date night before the baby comes.  Now, I know that once we have a baby, we will still be able to go out just the two of us.  I know that our marriage doesn’t just dissolve into a pool of baby food.  But things will change.  And even if they change for the better, it will still never just be me and Chris after this.  I’m super excited about growing our family, but there is a saddness that comes with that as well.  Its only a small part of the emotions that I’m going through in this last week, but its a very real part.  I have loved living my life with Chris.  I know that I will continue to love living my life with Chris.  But I will still look back and remember these first ten years we’ve spent when we were a couple instead of a family.

So, Sunday night was our date night.  We got dressed up.  We went to Olive Garden (because I can’t live without their salad and breadsticks).  We sat outside on a bench while we waited for our table and we talked about if this was where we had pictured ourselves years ago.  We talked about what kind of parents we each would be.  We talked about how to keep our identities while still being the best Mom and Dad we can be.  We talked and talked and talked.

When we finally got to a table and our food finally arrived, Chris was already a couple glasses into his wine and I was equally as drunk on breadsticks.  But no amount of breadsticks could prepare me for the one-sided conversation that Chris was about to have with himself.

We were talking about the c-section and that we were ready and felt good about having one instead of delivering naturally.  I admitted that I hadn’t really thought of it as a surgical procedure yet.  I was so focused on the fact that it would result in a baby that I hadn’t given much attention to the fact that they would be doing major surgery on me.

And then Chris had the following conversation with himself while stuffing his face and I looked on in horror:

“Of course its a surgical procedure!  They’re gonna gut you like a fish!” he said, never looking up from his plate.

“Like. A. Fish.”  he added for emphasis.

“I mean, they’re gonna rip you open and take your guts out.  I can’t even imagine,” he said, stuffing his face with a mouthful of alfredo.

“I’m glad they’re gonna have that little sheet up cause I don’t wanna see any part of that.  Guts and babies all over the place.  Nope.  Definitely don’t want to see that…”  he pauses to take another bite of pasta.

“Gut you like a FISH,” he concludes.

This whole time, I have been sitting in horror staring at him with my mouth open, which he would have noticed if he’d raised his head up out of his feeding trough for two seconds.  Finally, I guess he realized what he was saying and he stopped eating and looked up at me.

“I mean, you’re gonna be awesome, Babe,” he said.  I could see the terror in his eyes and that fleeting, pleading thought, “Oh, God.  What have I done?  I’ve angered the beast.  Please don’t kill me.”

Lucky for Chris, the waiter magically appeared with a fresh basket of breadsticks which narrowly saved his life.

I cleared my throat.

“Uh, yeah,” I said, trying to maintain my cool.  “I guess it won’t be so bad.  I’m feeling….pretty…confident…I guess.”

“That’s great, Sweetie!” he responded, sensing the danger was over.  He picked up his fork again and started to stuff his face.  “Cause they’re gonna gut you like a fish!”

Way to rebound, Chris.  Way to rebound.

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14 Thoughts to “The Last Supper”

  1. I know all about being gutted like a fish. But it’s not so bad really. I felt nothing the second time around. The first time was pretty uncomfortable for me. They had to knock me out as soon as they cut the cord and showed me my son. Chances are you won’t feel much of anything other than some pressure.

    Is this not helping? Sorry. 😉

    Honestly though, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Congratulations to you both as you cross over into a new, exciting, frustrating and wonderful phase of life.

  2. Jayme

    I had a c-section and my husband looked over the sheet! He said it was something that he never wants to see again. He was super worried, because it wasn’t planned… everything happened so fast!! Everything will be great with you though. Try not to worry too much ( I know its hard not to)Recovery is a little rough, but you’ll make it through it. Take help from who ever will give it to you!!! I couldn’t even change my baby’s diaper for the first week!!!

    I’m not sure if anyone has warned you about the swelling… and I know you are thinking… SWELLING, i can’t swell anymore than i already have…. but it happens!! I swelled so much i couldn’t even see my knee caps or anything. no one told me about it, so when I got home and took a shower for the first time, i CRIED!!!!! Go out and buy some big ugly granny panties too ( a size bigger than what your wearing now), I ended up having to cut mine at the leg holes and the waist band a little ( due to the swelling) But the swelling only last about a week or so, and then it slowly starts going away.

    Well I hope you are doing wonderful and taking it easy, in no time you’ll be meeting the little bean and you’ll fall in love fast than you have ever fell before.

    Best of luck,
    Jayme(from Arkansas)

  3. Okay, that’s funny. Grounds for homicide, but also funny.

    During my c-section my husband stared deeply into my eyes, not out of any sense of romance or love or any kind of deep emotion. Nope, he stared at my eyes because he was deathly afraid of seeing my guts.

    Wimp.

  4. Wow, just reading that comment from Jayme above about the swelling was pretty surprising. I hope you’ll write about how everything really goes, so that the rest of us can learn from you. I’ve really enjoyed reading all of your posts on pregnancy. Don’t hold back girl!

  5. Donna

    I don’t know what I would do if my husband said that to me.

    We had an unplanned c-section. You will feel the pressure, but you won’t know what is physically happening, and then after you see your baby they give you “the good stuff” as my anesthesiologist put it so you won’t be in pain later as the numbing stuff wears off, but you also won’t remember much for a little while either (we have pics of me holding my daughter in recovery after having just fed her and telling the lactation consultant that my daughter sucks her toes, and I don’t remember any of it).

    I remember wondering if my body was just on display. They had given me my block (an option instead of the epidural) and I was laying there I couldn’t feel a sheet or anything covering me after they had cleaned off were the incision would be and left. I am sure that the nurses and doctors see people naked all the time, I just don’t have people looking at my naked body all the time.

    Good luck with the c-section. It is all about getting your baby here safely.

  6. Jes

    I have even heard it compared to field dressing a dear.

    I mean the truth of matter is that they have to take out your bowels to get to the baby. I have a friend that actually accidently saw what was on the other side of that sheet and it wasn’t pretty. Katie you will be fine cause you will have drugs and plenty of doctors/nurses watching over you. Chris, be careful and take care. What ever you do, do not look on the other side of that curtain.

  7. kay

    i too have been “gutted like a fish”! five times to be exact! and you know what? it’s ok! My neice had a c-section a couple of months ago because she didn’t want to ruin her “southern region” if you know what i mean. i don’t agree with that but, what ever. anyway you will do great, i’ll save my horror story for after you give birth! ha ha

    http://randommusingsfrommypov.com

  8. Ashley

    You tell stories like a champ!! Their ALWAYS SO HILARIOUS! You will be FINE!

  9. Era

    Eloquent and romantic…he’s quite the catch, just don’t gut him like a fish!

  10. I had a c-section. It’s not so bad – more surreal than anything. Word to the wise though – those surgery lights are awfully shiny and very reflective, which I discovered after they took the baby and my husband away and were stitching me back up. I COULD SEE EVERYTHING. I totally watched them pull everything back into place and stitch me back up, because really, what else did I have to do?

    So when I tell you it’s not that bad, it’s not. I saw! Now recovery… that part sucks. Percocet will be your friend! 🙂

  11. HAHAHAHA! That is the funniest thing I have read in a while. Boys don’t think before they speak. They really don’t.

    I have been thinking about you this week! You are the only other person I “know” who is pregnant, so all my good preggo vibes are coming your way. You will rock this C-section and be a great mom. GOOD LUCK!

  12. Jilene aka NONA

    what can I say that has not already been said. He is sooo smooth! You will be fine if my cry-baby daughter can do it you can too! ( yes I am very proud of her and she is much more tuff now)

  13. Wow. Just…wow. My hubly likes to avoid any and all discussion about medical stuff, bodily functions, etc…ESPECIALLY while eating. I’ve been “gutted” three times and you’d think he’d be an old pro and talk about it like he’s got some experience…but no. According to him it never happened. He walked in, sat by my head and then got handed a baby. The end.

    What’s it like going back and reading these posts? I can hardly believe that it’s been less than a year since this post!!

  14. Lee Ann

    Okay, I know this is a VERY delayed comment. I’m slowly making my way thru old posts. But … I freaking laughed out loud at this post … and in my office, that was pretty funny, because I am the only person in the building. The visual of you staring at Chris while he said “Gut you like a fish” was priceless. Would have loved to have seen your real expression. Thank god for garlic breadsticks!

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