Around the House,  Husbands,  Marriage Confessions

Life is Officially Unfair

For the past six months or so, I have been petitioning my local newspaper.  I want them to do one or more of the following:

1.  Profile my blog in an article.

2.  Add me to the newspaper’s website blogroll.

3.  Hire me as a freelance writer.  I’ve even offered to write for free.

I thought it would be great exposure for my blog and in return I thought that I could help attract the demographic of readers who are no longer reading the newspaper – young, working professionals who read it online now.  I’ve been pretty shameless.  (i.e. “Dear Newspaper Editor Gods, please let me be a part of your world.  I’ll even clean your coffee cups.”)

To my excitement, I received an email from a writer at the paper today!  I was ecstatic.  Completely beside myself.  I was being discovered!  This was my big break!  My blog would be picked up by the paper and the next step would be a million dollar book deal.

The writer introduced himself and said that he had really been enjoying my blog (good, good).  He said congrats on the new baby (good, good).  And he said they wanted to do an article (good, good)…

ON THE MAN CAVE. (wait, what?)

And could I please put the writer in touch WITH MY HUSBAND?  (WHAT?!?!?!)

They want to interview and photograph Chris for a Feature’s article on him and his Man Cave that will run on Father’s Day.

That’s right, boys and girls.  While I have been slaving away at this computer trying desperately to be discovered so that I don’t have to go back to work after my maternity leave, it is, in fact, my freaking husband who is more interesting to people.

And don’t get me started on that stupid Man Cave.  That stupid, stupid Man Cave that smells like cat pee.

I should have known.  I should have freaking known.  Chris has always been cooler than me.  Always.  And just when I finally find my little niche in the corner of the blogosphere, he’s STILL the cool one.  People ask me all the time for marriage advice.  I usually say something stupid like, “Marry your best friend,” or “Marry someone you can’t live without.”  That’s all crap.  Here is the official Marriage Confessions statement of how to choose a husband:

NEVER MARRY SOMEONE COOLER THAN YOU!

Just don’t do it.  You’re in for a lifetime of laying the groundwork for the cool person to become even cooler.  It will drive you crazy, I tell you.  Crazy.  And you’ll become this crazy, blogging person with the cool husband.

And I came to the realization this morning that my son.  My own son.  My son who has been living out of my womb for 11 days, is cooler than me, too.  The kid was born with a mohawk, for God’s sake.

Mohawk Man
Mohawk Man

So now, I will not only have a cooler husband but a cooler son, too.  Great.  I’ll be the mom who wears track suits and chases everyone around yelling, “TRY MY LEMON SQUARES!  TRY MY LEMON SQUARES!” while my husband and son are off together at some cool people convention that I didn’t get an invitation to.

All of this because of my local newspaper.  And that stupid freaking Man Cave.

25 Comments

  • Deborah

    LMAO! Isn’t that the way life goes? Although, if the writer from the paper had been a woman, I think you would have had different results. Of course men are more interested in the Man Cave above everything else!

  • Sandy

    From the first day you put Michael in daycare, you will be forever known as ‚Å“Michael’s Mom‚ ‚ ¦but it seems as of June 21st you will also be known as ‚Å“Chris’s Wife‚ ‚ ¦Good Bye Katie‚ ¦Forever! ;-}

  • Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    Awesome mohawk! =)

    And my husband is cooler than me too. This is why I don’t petition the local paper!! They’d be all “yeah, your blog is nice and all, but um, could we run a story about your husband? Nothing he’s written, just, you know, HIM?”

  • Jenn

    Oh, fret not. I bet they will profile the man cave, and Chris will mention your blog, and all the women will go to the blog! Any exposure is good exposure. And at least it’s a way into the newspaper. Just think, they will come to your house! Good luck!

  • Sarah H.

    Oh this is wonderful—I am dying laughing. I’m SO SORRY they picked Chris. 🙁 But they know of you kow and hey THEY’RE READING!! They have your number and maybe your time will come. Until then, you should plan on going back to work. I’m sure your boss will appreciate it. Haha 🙂

  • Lori

    Aaron only married me to raise his “cool” factor, however I do feel it is unjust that The Man Cave is receiving the attention. I did happen to notice that the person who contacted you is in fact a dude, so…there you go.

    Don’t worry, Katie–I still think you are cool! If I had a newspaper, I would feature you!

  • Courtney

    Figures the writer is a male. A Man Gave is apparently one of the new essentials for houses. There’s even a show on the DIY network called The Man Cave. Don’t worry, you’re still cool. And the mohawk, way cute.

  • Sabrina

    LOL! I feel your pain. My husband is smarter and cooler! They just want a new dad’s perspective for Father’s Day.

  • Emily

    That’s too funny – you should totally post Marriage Confession posters all over the Man Cave… with the web address in big, bold letters!

  • Jennifer

    LOL…this is absolutely hilarious. While I do feel for you I am laughing entirely too hard here. I know the man cave. I live the man cave. And as if one man cave weren’t enough, my home has TWO man caves! My children have to share a room due to the man caves! I offer no advice, other than this: enjoy your bean and raise him to know what all men secretly know…if it weren’t for the women in their lives, their cool factor would ultimately be non-existant. SO choose your mate well young bean, she will determine your cool factor in the end 🙂

  • Hilary

    I can TOTALLY sympathize. First, congrats on getting the paper’s attention (that was all you!). Second, don’t feel bad – I’m sure Chris will GUSH about you (give him some helpful hints) in the article. Third my husband is not necessarily cooler than me, but he is so much nicer it’s sickening. People love him. LOVE him. ADORE him. You talk about your son? Ha! My mother, my own mother, the one who gave birth to me, clearly likes him better. My daughter clearly likes him better. Everyone I’ve known all my life would save him in a heartbeat over me. I am constantly reminding people that he’s not perfect. He gets grumpy. He’s not Jesus, for the love of God!!!! I feel your pain.

  • Abigail

    I bet your readsership (is that a word?) is larger than you think. There are a plethra of silent readers. well silent in the commenting. . .it’s impossible to read your blog without laughing. Which was very uncomfortable two weeks ago when I read the gutted like a fish post after I’d been gutted like a fish. Even an article on the man cave can bring some more attention to the delights of your world!!

  • zeemaid

    *L* I love the rant but am sorry about the newspaper want to do a feature on the man cave. It seems the whole man cave is a new buzz word these days.

    I know what it’s like to try and get yourself out there. who knows, maybe people reading about the man cave will give you some blog love too. 🙂

  • Emily

    That is so funny! Congratulations on getting their attention, you deserve props for that. You know it’s just because it’s Father’s Day..your day will come! 🙂 I hope you post the article so we can all enjoy it. And, I think you’re pretty cool.

  • Dar

    Meh, being cool is over-rated – and we all love you. All of us read your blog and think you’re a riot. Who wants to be cool anyway?

    😉 Don’t fret, you’re a great writer and your day will come.

  • Lana

    Aww I’m sorry Katie, but I’m another silent reader who also loves your blog. And if the man cave article does get published, make sure they link your blog very prominently and reap the benefits from that.