Bean,  Changes,  Marriage Confessions,  Parenting

Mommy Brain

I have been trying to blog for two weeks now.  I have more unusable drafts written than ever before.  They just sit there.  Unpublished.  Mocking me.

And why do I have these unpublished blog posts piling up?  BECAUSE THEY ALL SUCK.

And why do they all suck?  BECAUSE I HAVE MOMMY BRAIN.

I had heard of Mommy Brain before.  It was supposedly this phantom disease that creeps into new mom’s brains and robs them of clear thoughts, any ability to be funny whatsoever, and replaces acceptable vocabulary with words like “poopy diapers” and “pooter headed Beanie.”  I always thought this disease was just a new mom’s excuse to babble like an idiot to random strangers about their baby’s bowel movements.  But now, I understand.  I completely understand.

Mommy Brain is very real.  It it is killing new mom’s brain cells every day.  From the limited coherent thoughts that I am able to put together, I think Mommy Brain is caused by lack of sleep for an extended period of time coupled with the need to be incredibly focused on your new baby in order to understand mysterious things like sleep patterns and bowel movements.  This results in a brain that is fried and, therefore, incapable of talking about anything other than the gastrointestinal workings of the new baby.

I’m trying to fight it.  I’m trying to stay active and keep my brain alert and focused on important things, like celebrity gossip and the romance novels that My Friend Sarah sent me.  I’m trying to blog.  I’m trying to keep my brain sharp enough to make even one small joke a day.  But I’ve got nothin’.  Every blog post I write sounds cranky.  Or, worse, it doesn’t make any sense when I reread it.  Let me give you an example of my poor sense of humor right now.  I recently posted an photo album of baby pictures to my personal Facebook page.  The album was a bunch of pictures of the the Bean sleeping everywhere.  He was sleeping on my bed.  Sleeping in his crib.  Sleeping while his dad was holding him.  Sleeping while he ate.  He was sleeping everywhere.  So, I named the album, “The Baby That Never Woke Up.”

It wasn’t until My Friend Sarah pointed it out to me, but “The Baby That Never Woke Up?”  What the hell kind of morbid title is that?!?!  That’s not funny!  So not funny!

Another example of Mommy Brain?  I went to Target today to return something.  I got all the way to Target and was standing in line at the Customer Service counter before I realized…I forgot to bring the item I was going to return.  I left it sitting in my kitchen.

So, my dear internet friends.  I apologize for my lack of blog posts.  I just can’t seem to get my head working right.  But – good news!  I hear new moms hit the wall during Week Three and then rebound from there.  So in another week, I should be good to go.

For now, I have to go figure out where I left the Beaner.  I’m sure he’s in the house somewhere…

21 Comments

  • Sarah Hash

    I agree with the other Sarah–VERY BAD title name. But it’s OK–at least you had someone to point it out 🙂 I’m sure it will get better–here’s to week 4!!

  • MrsS

    Mommy brain hit me when I was pregnant!!! Several times I went out with my shirt on backwards, eye make up on only 1 eye ( it looks scary!!) and instead of telling the cahsier at Target ” Thank you” I told her ” I love you!!” ( I had meant to say that to the husband, but nope…I said it to the sweet old lady at target ) My son is 9 months old, and I still like I have it!!!

    Good Luck, hopefully it won’t last long… I love your blog!!!

  • Liz

    I had mommy brain with Bruce until I got a job, which was like a year later! The first few weeks at that job were awful, I couldn’t remember anyone’s names or what they needed!

    I don’t have mommy brain quite yet, but at 5 days postpartum, I think I’m in zombie mode still….

  • DeAnna

    Awesome post. I really don’t remember much of the first month after my oldest was born and the first three months after my youngest was born are a blur to this day. Seriously your brain just takes a vacation when that baby pops out. And of course you try and explain this to the man in your life & he laughs! Tells you, sure honey there is such a thing as Mommy Brain. Good luck getting your brain back, I think mine has run away with my two kids.

  • Christina

    I’m so sorry you are experiencing this phenomenon. I have come to discover that not only do you lose additional brain cells per child, but the brain cells per child adjusts accordingly…for example, with my third child I have lost/am losing three times the amount of brain cells that I did with my first child (not to mention the two-times amount I lost with my second child). I really don’t have that many to spare.
    If it helps, you are still very funny. And LOTS of people can relate/commiserate!

  • Mindee@ourfrontdoor

    I hate to tell you, but it’s going to get worse before it gets better. I think mine took about 7 years? But then again, I went and had more which just compounded the problem.

    It’s ok. Blogs will wait. Humor will wait. But babies grow very, very fast.

    Enjoy.

  • deepa

    My friend calls it placenta brain – I totally had this as early as my first trimester. The worst instance? I got on the Amtrak to go go back to Boston when visiting my sister in NYC, settled into a seat, reached over to grab a pen to sign my ticket and realized my purse is still sitting in the upstairs waiting area.

    (I ran and got it before the train left, but it was pretty bad…)

  • Donna

    Oh mommy brain, I tell my oldest that baby’s suck out part of their mother’s brain while they are groing inside them.

    My opinion is that mommy brain never really goes away, it gets better, but you never quite go back to where you were before you were pregnant. At least that is my excuss for being forgetful, saying odd things, and so on…

  • Kate

    Don’t worry – your posts are still a riot! I love reading them.
    I am dealing with pregnancy brain and have only been told that mommy brain is worse, although there are a few benefits. Apparently you will be able to pack everything needed (and possibly then some) for any kind of outing with Michael without even thinking about it. Sadly the other stuff (math, where you left your car, etc.) just gets pushed out…

  • Deb

    Can you write a post about what a body feels like after delivering a baby? For those of us who don’t have babies, it would be interesting to know! How’s the healing process?

  • Vandy

    We already knew this! At least, all the moms that read your blog knew this. Personally, I would have been in disbelief and somewhat jealous if you didn’t show any signs of slow Mommy Brain on your blog. And, I would have written you to demand you slow down and go be with your Bean if your blog kept up the same pace over these first few months. I don’t think Mommy Brain ever completely goes away. When it hit me, I thought, “Oh, now I understand why all moms are a little batty.” Learn to love it, because some piece of it is the new you 🙂 You’re a mom now! Heck, it’s better than Pregnant Brain, which is way worse for me!

  • Hilary

    Okay, so now you know the sad truth. Mommy brain is somewhat here to stay. It really will take you a while to feel like yourself again. I had a nasty relapse about a week ago where I was forgetting everything and my girl is 15 months old. Just remember that the truth is funny so whatever you’re feeling or going through, we’re happy to read it and laugh along! May I suggest a post devoted to all the silly stuff you do to entertain the Bean? Or goofy names you call him (“Pooter Headed Beanie” is hilarious. I’ve called my daughter “Munchkin Doodle” so often that she doesn’t know her real name and calls herself “Doo-duh.”) Don’t be so hard on yourself!

  • Irene

    you’re awesome no matter what you write. I enjoy a lot reading your blog, this things happen to anyone (imagine a mommy brain in an 5-hour exam, that’s exactly what I had today except for the baby part). keep writing 🙂

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