Marriage Confessions,  Parenting

She Works Hard for the Money

This past Thursday I had my first doctor’s appointment since my c-section.  I was a little nervous about going for several reasons.  I was afraid they’d rip the surgical tape off my incision and then I’d have to hit the doctor and that’s always awkward.  Mostly, I was nervous because this would be my first trip out of the house with the Bean all by myself.  The previous week we went out a couple times for doctor’s appointments, but Chris had always been with me.  This time it was just me and the Bean.

Let me take you through those few hours:

9:10 AM – After the world’s quickest shower while the Bean sleeps, throw on clothes before he wakes up.  Start putting on make up.  Apply powder to face.  Get interrupted by crying baby.

9:37 AM – Give the Bean his bottle.  Forget to go back to finish make up.  Go out in public all day looking like a mime.

9:50 AM – Pack diaper bag. Rethink the necessity of four extra outfits for a one-hour day trip.

9:54 AM – Repack diaper bag.

10:00 AM – Put Beanie into his car seat.  Stare at the buckles and straps for a while.  Put the straps on Beanie and snap the buckles. Realize they are snapped in wrong.  Redo snaps and buckles.

10:05 AM – Redo snaps and buckles.

10:07 AM – Redo snaps and buckles.

10:08 AM – Redo snaps and buckles.  Curse Babies R Us for selling such complicated baby gear.

10:10 AM – Grab keys, cell phone, diaper bag, and Beanie and head out to the car.

10:12 AM – Drop keys, cell phone, and diaper bag along the way to the car in an attempt to carry the Bean.

10:15 AM – Arrive at car.  Put down Beaner’s carrier on the sidewalk.  Pant.  Pant.  Pant.

10:17 AM – Heave Beanie’s carrier into the back seat.  Realize he is facing the wrong direction.

10:18 AM – Pull on carrier which has somehow latched itself into the car base backwards.  When carrier flies out of base unexpectedly, stumble backwards.  Try not to drop screaming baby.

10:22 AM – Heave Beanie’s carrier into the back seat, making sure he is facing in the correction position.  Snap carrier into car base.  Look around for someone to high five.

10:25 AM – Walk back through the yard to pick up dropped car keys, cell phone, and diaper bag.

10:27 AM – Climb into driver’s seat.   Turn on car engine.   Check hair in mirror.

10:28 AM – Realize that you left your purse in the house.

10:28 AM – Curse excessively.

10:30 AM – Unhook the Bean’s carrier from the car.  Walk back inside.  Get purse off kitchen counter.  Head back to car.

10:33 AM – Heave Beanie’s carrier into the back seat, making sure he is facing in the correction position.

10:37 AM – Get back in driver’s seat.  Check clock.  Realize you will now be late.  Begin driving.

10:45 AM – Turn left onto ramp for Interstate 95.  Drive approximately 25 miles an hour to doctor’s office.  Scream at every truck driver who passes for driving too close to your car.

11:05 AM – Pull into doctor’s office.

11:03 AM – Leave Beaner in car seat while you take the stroller out of the trunk.

11:04 AM – Begin searching for the button that unfolds the stroller.

11:08 AM – Continue searching for the button that unfolds the stroller.

11:10 AM – Continue searching for the button that unfolds the stroller.

11:11 AM – Ask random stranger who looks vaguely like a mother if she knows where to find the button that unfolds the stroller.

11:15 AM – Continue searching for the button the unfolds the stroller with the stranger.

11:17 AM – Give up on stroller.  Carry the Beaner’s car seat into the doctor’s office.

11:20 AM – Arrive in doctor’s office only 5 minutes late for your 11:15 appointment.  Look for someone to high five.

11:50 AM – Leave the doctor’s office.

11:55 AM – Heave Beanie’s carrier into the back seat, making sure he is facing in the correction position.  Snap carrier into car base.  Pack stroller in trunk.  Toss your hair.  Like a bad ass.

12:04 PM – Pull onto Interstate 95.  Drive 25 miles per hour home.

12:30 PM – Arrive home.  Carry car keys, cell phone, diaper bag, and Beaner into the house.  Get mauled by dogs at door.  Drop everything except the Bean.

12:35 PM – Yell at dogs.

12:36 PM – Put Beaner’s carrier on the table.  Go back to pick up keys, cell phone, and diaper bag.

12:45 PM – Change Beaner’s diaper.  Put him down for nap.

1:04 PM – Look around for someone to high five.

1:05 PM – Pass out on couch.

13 Comments

  • Emily

    This is hilarious, and SO TRUE!! Sometimes I feel bad that it takes me so long to get out of the house with my little one and to do some simple errands, but nothing’s simple with a baby. I’m impressed that you had enough foresight to get the Beaner in his carseat and in the car an hour before you actually had to be at the doctors!

  • The Rambling Ewe

    Could I offer a suggestion? I would highly recommend getting yourself either a sling or an Ergo. The Ergo can carry children from infant through 40 lbs, and is my very favorite carrier. It has thick padded straps, and can be used as a front, back, or hip carrier (front only for someone the size of the Bean). It’s fantastic. A sling, however, is slightly less complicated, simply because there are fewer buckles. I love the Maya wrap slings. They come with a handy zippered pocket, now, for things like a cell phone and keys. 🙂 Then you could just leave the car seat in the car, which in my experience makes life just SO much easier (and drops about 20 lbs. off the weight you have to lug around). If you would like to ask me anything else about them, feel free to e-mail. Otherwise, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding them on Google. Hope this is helpful to you. I remember those days, oh, so well!

  • Lori

    ::Internet High-Five:: Go Katie!

    Why are infant carriers and strollers and “travel systems” so freakin’ complicated?! Aaron’s always like, “What? This is so easy to handle!” But everytime I try to unfold the stroller I want to throw it.

  • Heather

    I hear you. I hear you. Sometimes, when my kiddoes were babies, I SO TIRED before I even got us loaded in the car to go anywhere… Recall thinking “I’m still in my GARAGE and I need a NAP!”. It’ll get better. Honest. You’re doing great!

    Warmest Smiles
    Heather

  • kay

    i’ll bet your relieved you are not the octo-mom! of course if you were you would have all the help you wanted, at the expense of everyone who has a brain and makes better decisions than her! that would even include my dog! oh sorry, just got off on a tangent. anyway, my point is( i forgot what it is actually), oh well it gets easier!

  • Betsy

    Well I can say the same thing happens to me and Jackson is now four months old. However, I have mastered the stroller…only took me 3 months to do so. GOOD LUCK!!! I always give myself 2 hours before I ever leave the house.

  • Hilary

    Bravo! The first time I took the baby out by myself was to return a library book. I was so nervous! Here’s a cyber-high five for making it to the doctor’s and back and not forgetting the Bean.

  • Jilene aka NONA

    I would have High-Fived you! Good job. Hint try using the stroller at home and get used to opening it! Slings and front carrieres are nice but a stroller gives you some where to put everything. Also your back! Hang in there> Life will get easier.

  • Jessica

    Just checking to see how you are doing – you left a comment on my blog awhile ago – before life changed dramatically. Glad everyting is going well!

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