My Wii Hates Mii
For Father’s Day, the Beaner gave Chris a Wii Fit. Beanie’s a thoughtful little guy. He must have known that Chris has been campaigning for a Wii Fit for the past six months. He must also have known that on several occasions, I had to beat Chris to a pulp in order to prevent him from using Target gift cards we received as BABY SHOWER GIFTS (!!) to buy himself the Wii. On second thought, maybe Beanie isn’t thoughtful so much as thankful that we saved his gift cards for more important things like bottle warmers and Diaper Genies. In any event, Chris got a Wii Fit for Father’s Day.
And then he turned into a 12 year old boy and I haven’t seen my grown up husband since.
I walk into the living room at any given time now to find Chris staring at cartoon people on the television who are telling him to do things like hoolahoop and head-butt soccer balls. And the scary part is that he listens. A grown, ivy league educated, new father under the complete control of strange looking Wii people. I will never, ever understand men and video games. Ever.
Especially because the Wii people seem like a bunch of asses to me. And what could make cartoon characters on my television seem like asses? This could…
When you first get the Wii Fit, it asks you to take a fitness analysis test so that the Wii can monitor your progress. It factors in your height, weight, and ability to balance and then it spits out your ranking and your Wii Age. Can you see my ranking in that little picture up there? Its says OVERWEIGHT. Overweight. That’s right. Did it give me a chance to explain my weight? No. Did it factor in that I have just given birth? No. It just had me stand on that stupid little board and then it called me fat. Therefore, the Wii people are asses.
This, however, has not stopped Chris from jogging with the Wii people in my living room. Traitor.
19 Comments
Brian
Men and Video Games, never try to argue that. Its like women and chocolate, just let it be….
Just wait till Chris gets Wii sports, he’ll never leave the basement.
Lori
I haven’t had time to watch the video, but–I got a Wii fit last year for my 30th birthday. I thought it was pretty fun–then I realized that I was pregnant and was too exhausted to do things like vigorously hula hoop after a long first trimester day’s work. And as I started gaining weight, it would ask me WHY I gained weight and “with child” wasn’t an option. I however am planning to use my Wii Fit as a way to help me lose my baby weight.
I do have to say, though, that I think the animated Wii board that talks to you is a freakin’ jerk–especially if you skip a day and he is all like, “Where you been, Fatty? Eating ice cream?” Well, he really doesn’t say that, but that is what it feels like.
Alisa
agreed! the wii people are total asses. no doubt about it. instead of saying, congratulations, you worked out 3 days this week, it’s like “where were you the other 4 days, fatass? it is a very good workout, though, if you take the time to do it, and the best feature is the free step, where the remote makes the step sound, and you can watch whatever tv you want while doing step aerobics! who knew that you needed thick skin to have a wii fit though??
Emily
I thought I wanted a wii but I don’t think I could take the mental abuse.
Marla
But it’s mean to you if you don’t work out! I need that. Actually, I need someone to beat me if I skip… That’s about the only way I’m going to workout.
Marla
P.S. I love the title to this post. Great.
Elizabeth
Seriously? Your BMI is only 25 after a few weeks of giving birth? That’s a pretty awesome accomplishment right there! I tried to use the Wii Fit to lose weight for my wedding, but never budged…at least I was in the “normal” zone to start. You look fantastic!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Since the last time I gave birth was eight years ago, I need someone to tell me I’m fat and then give me a solution. I think I need Wii fit!
Deb
I had to laugh when I heard your dog bark (Lucy I think?). When I got the wii fit my dog didn’t understand what I was doing at all. He kept standing up with me, excitedly watching for signs that I was going to play with him. He hates the wii now too.
Casey
If the rude ass Mii’s called me overweight I would ban them to the mancave never to return to the front room.
Katie
This post made me laugh! Have you experienced the humiliation of stepping on the board thingy and it says, “Oh!”, like, “Oh dear, I think you might break me!”
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
So what you’re saying is that if I want to get rid of my husband, all I need to do is buy this Wii Fit thing? And the only downside is that I might have to endure being called fat?
SOLD!
(Kidding). (Kind of).
Donna
I saw my family creating the Miis on the Wii Fit and I said “Hell No.” When I finally created mine it made me like 80 years old, b/c I did not understand the balance game instructions. Made me oh so mad, but the games can be fun.
Meredith
We have a wii fit also and I haven’t been on it since I found out I was pregnant for that very reason. I DID hear that the company was thinking about adding something about pregnancy to the reasons… so MAYBE in a few years, it will be an option. Of course, that helps us none. As you lose weight though, it will be happy! It only asks why when you gain… 🙁
Maybe It Was Memphis
LOL! I bought a Wii Fit back in Feb and my husband did the fit test, it called him fat and he hasn’t stepped back on since!!
However he LOVES the Wii sports.
Amanda
We got one two weeks after I had our last child(my third) and it put my husbands bmi at underweight. Then it was my time and it had me as overweight. It was horrible wanted to break the remote. And it seemed as my litlle mii got bigger. I haven’t been back on it since. Maybe I should lost more weight in the last three weeks.
Miss M!
Um… your little arrow pointer thingy is still close to the middle. Mine is up at the top!!! And when it goes up there, the little Mii gets all fat too. BOOO!
Jessica W
My husband got on and it informed him that he was technically “Obese”. The real kicker was that it did it in a very high pitched peppy voice, it was almost happy about it! Then it ballooned his little Mii out. I felt bad for him but you wouldn’t have known it from me spitting my water across the room in laughter. But it was so unexpected! It got even though, every time I get on it asks me if I frequently tip over when I walk… (Side note, at this point by using the Wii fit, with running and diet, my husband has lost 40lbs and the wii no longer mocks him… as much)
Sarah
Haha, I heard Chris making fun of your wii fit age but don’t let that get to you. I’m 21 and the first time I used mine it told me I was 33. Then the next day I was suddenly 22? I’m not sure how it judges that, but it’s messed up.
What’s really funny is when people want to play with your wii fit but you don’t want to take the time to set up a new character. My brother’s girlfriend had a character and she’s itty bitty. Then my brother stepped on the wii balance board and he goes to the gym for weights like every day. The board got all upset and was like, “Your weight has changed drastically!”
And bravo for being 25.09 days after having a child. You rock.