Family,  Marriage Confessions

Beanless

Uncle Gary
Uncle Gary

This is Uncle Gary.  Not really an uncle by blood, but he’s promised to teach the Bean how to do things like open beer bottles with a car key, so we figure that’s close enough to being an actual uncle.  When Uncle Gary isn’t sitting on our back deck or hanging out in the Man Cave, he is Gary Fields.  Musician and jazz singer.  Last night Gary had his first big show in New York at a night club and Chris and I left the Beanie with my parents and headed down to the city to be with our friends to celebrate.

The Cave Dwellers
The Cave Dwellers

When we were growing up, Chris had a tight group of friends.  These were the guys who partied hard together.  They were the ones who brought girls over.  They were the ones who fought over endless games of pool and darts.  They were “Chris’ friends.”  Since Chris and I have dated from the time we were 16 and known each other even longer, I’ve grown up with with these guys, too.  They’ve been apart of my life for as long as Chris has, really.

The group has changed some over the years.  Girlfriends, roommates, college buddies and the like have all been added.  And we even lost one of the core boys when he died unexpectedly a couple years ago.  I think it was when Robert died that I saw the most drastic change in this group of friends.  Chris got the call from Robert’s sister about his very unexpected passing and he told her that he would be the one to call the rest of the group.  I remember sitting in our living room, shocked with grief, and listening to Chris make those few phone calls.  He started every conversation with, “We’ve lost a brother.”

From then on, the group’s dynamic changed a bit.  Suddenly, they weren’t just showing up in the Man Cave or at bars.  They started to support each other in more substantial ways.  Showing up at college graduations and weddings.  They were the first people we heard from when the Bean was born.  And I noticed that they were no longer “Chris’ friends,” but “our friends” instead.  We became family more than just friends.

Last night, we all came together again to celebrate yet another accomplishment for one of the family.  Our friend, Gary Fields, is a jazz singer who is blossoming in the New York area.  He had his first big gig in the city at a night club and we all, of course, dressed up and trooped down to Time Square to sit in the audience.  I looked around at all of us last night and it reminded me of how far we’ve all come.  We used to sit on Chris’ dad’s back porch and make Gary sing for us.  And now, here we were in a night club sitting among strangers who wanted Gary to sing for them.  I was so stinking proud of him.


It was my first whole night away from the Bean, too.  He stayed home with my parents who were ecstatic with the idea of feeding him, bathing him, rocking him, and getting up for those midnight feedings (be my guest…).  And I’m happy to report that I did a great job.  Sure, I looked at his pictures on Chris’ iPhone about a hundred times.  Sure, every conversation I had with anyone started with “The Bean did the cutest thing the other day…”  Sure, I kept asking Chris what he thought the Bean was doing.  But, I didn’t call home once.  Because I was happy to be out celebrating with our friends.  It was a great night and – Bean or no Bean – I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Lovely Linda, Me, and Chris at the night club
Lovely Linda, Me, and Chris at the night club
Chris and his buddy, Brett
Chris and his buddy, Brett
Did I mention that drinks were served at this night club?
Did I mention that drinks were served at this night club?
Me and THE Gary Fields
Me and THE Gary Fields
Pretending to be tourists in Time Square
Pretending to be tourists in Time Square
Beanless Parents
Beanless Parents

For more information on Gary Fields and to hear clips of his music, visit his website at www.garyfieldsmusic.com.

12 Comments

  • Sarah

    This is such a sweet post! I have one question–Didn’t you and Chris grow up in FL? So how come all of his friends are now in NY/CT? Or did I miss something? Thanks 🙂

    Good question! I should mention that most of our friends are in the arts – theater & film mostly – and so we all have somehow ended up living in the NY area because jobs in that field are easier to find here. Within a year or two of each other, all of us moved to this area. Its like a home away from home! – Katie

  • Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    You look so happy and wonderful post-baby! =)

    I’m glad that you and Chris were able to get away and (this is key) ENJOY your time off. I’m sure that you must have loved to see your sweet baby again, but I’m also sure that you deserved the mini-break and that the grandparents adored having time with the Bean to themselves =)

  • Heather

    Friends are the best. They’re the Family you Choose. So glad you had a great time! Important, for Bean, that you remember to be a couple as well as being parents and Date Nites are a big part of that. Good for ya’ll!

    Smiles
    Heather

  • Hilary

    Congrats on your first date night! Even better when the grandparents are the babysitters – you can relax more. I think Heather was right on the money when she said that it’s important for the Bean to see his parents as a couple too. Remember, the Bean will most likely construct his relationships based on your model. No pressure, right?

  • shionge

    Yes, sometimes it is good to out without Baby and bond with friends too and I can see that you did well Katie 🙂

    I can’t remember but when I attended your Wedding, one of your friend mentioned to me that he was going to come by to Singapore for a performance, could he be the one?

    Anyway…remember to put Singapore on your holiday list Katie 😀

    Bet your parents are jut as happy to have Baby with them for the night.

    Hugs to all and to Grandma Louise too, hope she is getting better now.

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