Doing the Best I Can
My pediatrician tried to warn me. My mother tried to warn me. My friend Sarah tried to warn me. That weird stranger in Target tried to warn me. But did I listen? No. No, I did not. And why didn’t I listen? Because I told myself what all new parents tell themselves in order to go to sleep at night. My child is different. But, apparently not. In the end they were all right.
Babies cry. A lot.
I’ve heard of the “Fussy Phase” before. That terrible time between weeks 2 and 8 when your near-perfect newborn goes through all these physical and emotional changes which they deal with by crying. A lot. But I told myself that little white lie so that I could go to sleep at night. “My baby is different. He’s special.”
(Cue cheesy sitcom laughter)
Turns out, my “special” son has a “special” set of lungs that produce a very “special” high-volume, milk curdling, nails on the chalkboard wail. He doesn’t do it often, but about once every three or four days, the kid just loses his mind for a while. I hold him, rock him, swing him, feed him, burp him, change him, pat him, rub him but nothing helps. His little body just needs to flip out for some reason every now and then and its up to me and Chris to just be there when he stops. We usually work in shifts when these little episodes come into our lives. Chris will take him for a while and do the holding/rocking/swinging/feeding/burping/changing/patting/rubbing thing and when he has just about had enough, he passes the baby off to me and I take over for a while. When the “special” spell finally passes and the Bean has exhausted himself, Chris and I usually end up sitting side by side on the couch, staring into space. Sometimes one of us might whisper something like, “What the hell just happened?”
But all that has changed in the past few days. I’ve found a temporary solution that seems to calm the Beanie down. Apparently, the kid loves trees. No matter how wild he wails, if you put a few trees in front of him, he seems to regain his composure long enough for Chris and I to shove a pacifier in his mouth.
But there’s a little hiccup to this perfect solution. You see, the best place to the trees in our house is by looking out the front glass door. I think its all the light that comes in, but this is the best place for the Bean to be when he loses his mind. So, I stand in the doorway with him and rock him while he stares at the soothing trees and regains his composure.
The problem is that the door, as previously mentioned, is glass. Meaning you can see through it. Meaning my neighbors can see through it. They can see me standing in the doorway every few days, rocking my crying baby. And…well…I’m sort of ashamed to admit it, but…I’m always wearing the same clothes. Like, every single time. And its not a cute little new mom outfit. Every few days I stand in my front glass doorway in the same pajamas.
So, the secret is out. Since I’ve had this baby, I may or may not bathe every day. And I may or may not wear the same pajamas all day long. For multiple days. And now, thanks to my son exposing me with his little tree addiction, all my neighbors know it.
In a way, its kind of a relief. Its really a pain to keep up that “I’m-the-neighbor-that-keeps-her-crap-together” image. I’d much rather be the “I’m-the-neighbor-whose-baby-cries-at-random-intervals-which-causes-me-to-forgo-bathing-on-some-days-and-oh-yeah-sometimes-I-forget-to-recycle-my-water-bottles.”
What a weight off.
18 Comments
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
At least you’ve found a solution! And it could be worse. My fussy one insisted on being OUTSIDE. The minute we brought her back in the rage would resume. And of course I was always dressed much like you are walking back and forth.
I was super attractive, let me tell you.
Children are humbling.
Lori
Porter hit the height of his screaming/fussy stage around 7 weeks. Lily was here visiting and for one Saturday he cried for 10 hours only stopping to eat. He wouldn’t even nap. I nearly lost my mind. At least you have a nice yard for Bean to look at! Oh and the good thing about babies is that they don’t care what your clothes look like 🙂
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
Ah, think of it this way: the neighbors aren’t looking at your pajamas. They’re ogling the cute baby! =)
Jilene aka NONA
I nannied a little girl that did the same thing the tree was her friend and then in the winter the leaves were all gone and she wasn’t so interestedin the tree anymore. but is the spring she (much older) is right back to being mesmrized by it, go figure! She is one now and still loves to watch her tree at times! At least you found somethng that works. And for your looks the neighbors don’t notice they notice the bean!! Enjoy this cuddle time!
Summer
Evan has had a few of these spells (starting this week).
His are at night, usually around bedtime, otherwise Id try the tree thing. Hang in there, and be sure to fill me in on any little tricks that seem to work 😉
I know ya’ll are doing an amazing job!!!
Donna
When my daughter has these “spells” we just walk outside, she is quite the instant we go outside. Try it and you can walk in your backyard so no one will see what you are wearing!
Linda Higgins
I accidently came across your blog. What a wonderful blog! I was trapped the minute I started reading! HMMM I love, love stories! Mine is an exceptional one. Almost 39 years to the same man…I know…unheard of…especially because we met when I was still in puberty! The 60’s and 70’s proved to be a very…very…crazy era of time! 3 kids later and 7 grandkids, the 8th on the way…I wish I had written my experiences down! But, I am catching up. Always had the “miracle” touch to calm a crying baby. Upset mommy’s always pass them off to me…”here give the baby to “her” she will calm him (her)! I love it…daughter says that a vacume will do it every time….just turn on the vacume, it is louder than the crying, they can’t compete! lol I can’t wait to visit again and see how your life unfolds! Thanks for sharing…
Ginny
You’ve shamed me.
Betsy
Jackson was the same way at the same time about every 3 days for a few weeks. Now he will just throw a fit randomly and it seems as if I am always in public. Let the fun begin!!!
Jennifer
What a relief- I thought I was the only one who did these kind of things. Thanks for putting it out there. It makes me feel a little less strange.
Kelly
I know the crying might be hard to take, but he is so darn adorable. That has to make up for it!
Hilary
I didn’t shower today and my daughter is 15 months old. Don’t feel bad.
Marla
I have a feeling that your neighbors will all understand. You’re doing a great job.
Niki
You’re not alone in the not-showering-for-few-days and wearing-the-same-clothes-for-a-couple-days thing. All new mothers (who can’t afford nannies to help out) go through the same thing. Lord knows I did.
Toni S.
Yep, don’t feel lonely. Heck, my kids are 9 and 4, and I still have days where I don’t shower and I wear the same outfit for a couple of days. I didn’t really remember how it was with the oldest, but the 4 year old, I do. Her “fix” was ceiling fans and football games. LOL
Miss M!
…and then one day, a few months from now, you’re going to realize that it’s been a while since he had one of those horrible crying spells, AND YOU SURVIVED! Hallelujah!
At least, that’s how I felt!
Jes the Bes
Oh man. Just add some pink soft rollers to your ensemble and watch out!
Heather
PJ pants are the best. at the beginning – you either sleep or eat with the little extra time you have…some days it feels like you really can’t do both in the same day. showering is a luxury far down the list…