Marriage Confessions,  Parenting,  Travel

The Nose Sucker and Other Baby Dilemmas

Can I be honest with you for a minute?   I’m terrified of the nose sucker.   Terrified.   I’m afraid I’m going to suck out part of Beanie’s brain.   Like I’ll stick that sucker too far up there and – THWUMP! – suddenly one of his eyeballs will be sucked back into his head.

No one tells you about this part of parenting.   You hear about making sure babies sleep on their back and about immunizing against rare diseases.   But no one tells you about all the weird baby supplies you’ll have to learn how and when to use.

Take the stroller, for example.   Oh, sure.   You think you know how to use a stroller.   But a stroller is so much more than a transportation device.   First, you have to learn how to open said stroller.   This will require an advanced degree in engineering.   And a hefty amount of curse words of your choosing.

HEAVE!!!!!
HEAVE!!!!!
HOOO!!!!!
HOOO!!!!!
WHERE THE &*#$ IS THE %@! RELEASE BUTTON????
Where the (BEEP) is the (BEEP)ing release button????

But getting the stroller into its appropriate, upright position is just the beginning.   The other half of the battle is knowing when to use the stroller.   I never know when to use mine.

~ POP QUIZ! ~

1.   You are going into Target and you know you’ll be getting several heavy items that will require you to use a shopping cart, but you have your baby with you.   How do you handle the situation?

A)   Push the stroller and kick the heavy items through Target.

B)   Push the stroller AND the shopping cart, knocking over Target patrons   and the Wheat Thins display in the process.

C)   Put the baby’s carrier into the shopping cart leaving you to strategically place all your shopping items around your baby.   Like a game of Tetris.

So far, I have tried options A, B, and C.   Kicking items through Target seemed to draw the most attention.   And, well, knocking over a Wheat Thins display was not very subtle either.   But I’m getting better the more I get out and about by myself.   I’m resigned to the fact that its just not going to be as easy to get around with a baby as it was to get around by myself.   For now, I’ll continue doing what I have found that works.   I sit in the parking lot and wait for a more experienced mother to walk into the store and then I just copy whatever transportation method she used.   Works like a charm.

Another baby supply that I’m not having luck with?   My diaper bag.   Think about how hard it is to pack your purse for an all-day outing.   Now think about doing that for someone else.   Now think about doing that for someone else who poos his pants every few hours.   Yeah.   Its not so easy.   The first mistake I made was packing too much stuff.   Let’s be honest.   At this point in the Bean’s life, his needs are pretty minimal.   They are mandatory, but they are minimal.   A diaper, a bottle, a blanket, and a binky.   Good to go.

Le Diaper Bag
Le Diaper Bag

But in those first few weeks, I wanted to use every baby supply I had been collecting over the past nine months.   I packed teething rings (he has no teeth), baby books (he can’t read), three changes of clothes (for a 1 hour outing), and one time I even brought an ice pack in case he fell down and bumped his knee (he can’t walk).   Over packing killed me, but now I’ve toned it down.   I usually have a few extra diapers, a diaper wipe case, several burp cloths, an extra clean binky, and a blanket.   Oh, and a power bar.   For me.   Cause outings with a baby are an energy drainer.

The problem I have now with the diaper bag is that I think mine is too big.   It’ll be great when he starts going to da…day…daycare (DON’T LEAVE ME, BEANIE!!), but right now its a little big.   It doesn’t fit under the stroller and its way too big to lug around on my shoulder, so I usually end up leaving it in the car.   Which totally defeats the purpose of a diaper bag.

Digging through the incredibly large Le Diaper Bag
Digging through the incredibly large Le Diaper Bag

I tell you what – baby supplies are tricky!   You think its all cute onesies and boo-boo bunnies and fuzzy blankets with bunnies on them.   But its tough stuff, I tell you!   And don’t even get me started on the tininess that are infant nail clippers.   Holy.   Goodness.   Those things are TINY!

But I’m not giving up.   I’m not letting silly things like strollers and nail clippers and diaper wipe warmers keep me from getting out there and exploring with the Bean.   No, sir.   We are forging ahead!   We are overcoming!   We are facing these challenges head on!

So, if you happen to see a young mother crying in a parking lot while she shakes the crap out of a stroller, be a good Samaritan and help a motha’ out by showing her where the release button is.   And if you happen to have an energy bar on your person at that time, throw that into her diaper bag for her.   Trust me.   She needs it.

20 Comments

  • Mindee@ourfrontdoor

    I hate diaper bags. They’re so clunky. Of course, I don’t even like big purses. I keep mine to a minimal size. Whenever I could, I tried getting away with just wearing a coat with big enough pockets that I could keep stuff in there.

    Probably that wasn’t terribly attractive.

  • Heather

    I found my way over from pioneer woman and I can relate to you so much! I am the mom to my first who is now 6 months old. I just got a sub for the bulb nose sucker – the Nosefrida Nasal Aspirator (you can go to amazon & find it). Warning – it looks weird but I read all the reviews and thought there must be something to it…and I like it. Best thing is it doesn’t actually go up the nostril. We had a problem when Kate got bigger the end of the bulb can go too far into the nostril and that’s bad news. anyway, keep it in mind.

    Yes, I remember my first outing with the stroller and it was pretty much exactly as you describe. Hang in there – it gets easier!

  • Emily

    I am so loving reading about your adventures with the bean! I love the pictures too…thanks for the morning laugh. 🙂

  • Joanie

    The nose sucker terrified me too. It still does! What a horrible contraption they want us to use on those sweet little babies!

  • Donna

    I hate the big diaper bag, that can be necessary at times but overkill most of the time too. And the stroller, a Chicco like yours, was heavy when I tried to pull it out of the truck. So I feel your pain!

    Just a note, don’t tug too hard on the release lever. Ours has already broken so it is hard to collapse, and we had to replace it. We ended up with a Combi this time and love it! It is so light and easier to fold and unfold.

  • Sandy

    Wow, that is one big diaper bag…from the looks of that last photo, Lucy is just about to fall in…maybe never to be seen again!

  • mom of one

    Nose suckers are the worse.. zoey would never cry when she was little and then she started WAILING! it was horrible! go out and buy ourself a smaller diaper bag.. that way you can only hold so much…. the needs will get smaller and now i sometimes find myself just leaving with a juice cup.. other piece of advise put EMERGENCY supplies under the seat in your cars.. that way you don’t have to pack as much in the diaper bag cause you will always have the emergency supplies if some are needed..

  • Erin

    My kids are 3 and 1 and I still overpack my diaper bag! I started carrying a backpack instead because it just did not work carrying a huge diaper bag over my shoulder, holding the 1 year old and holding the 3 year old’s hand! So much easier!

  • Jennifer

    Diaper Bag…best served in the car, not on your person. I have a bit larger purse than I would normally (mind you it still isn’t very big) and carry one diaper for each of my two kids…if going into a place that would prohibit me from going out to the car to retrieve one..like church)a bottle a couple formula tubes (have you seen them? by Enfamil…each pouch tube thing is one 4oz bottle…spendy but worth it for just these kind of trips…like Target or church), a second pacifier (aka “plug” in our home) and for the older one…some cheerios or granola bar). Seems like a lot but really, that darn diaper bag has only seen the inside of my car for the past three years now, especially with two kids…I really don’t need added baggage, I don’t have enough arm room. Oh and wait til your bean finds that nose sucker thingy on his own and comes walking outta his room down th ehall with it hanging outta his nose stating…”mama, I clean me nose”. A few years away, but nonetheless it will happen

  • Miss M!

    1. When you do finally catch a nice big one and manage to suck it out, it’s SO satisfying! LOL!

    2. Hotsling. I could not have made it shopping without that thing. That was some of the best money I spent! It leaves BOTH HANDS FREE. You know, so you can push the cart. It also has no rings, buckles, straps, etc at which to get mad. Super easy once you practice putting the baby in it at home a few times.

    3. They sell these plastic hooks at Babies R Us in the stroller section. You put them on the handle of the stroller, then hang your diaper bag from them. Then you don’t have to carry the heavy thing!

  • Heather

    Get a smaller diaper bag for everyday use, take your stroller in the store and try them out to see which one works.

    I only used the big one for trips out of town.

    I also had a backpack, but like the smaller diaper bag the best.

  • Kristin

    I must say…this compelled me to leave a comment. I am currently living in Okinawa, Japan (my husband is in the Air Force) and the baby things they have here…boy oh boy, would you have a field day with them. They actually don’t use the bulb syringes like we do, they have this contraption with these tubes and you put one end in their nose and the other in your MOUTH and SUCK THE BOOGERS OUT. There is a bulb in the middle of the tubes that catches everything, but do you think in a million years I would use it?!?!? NO WAY, I’d be way too afraid that some would go in my mouth…EWWWW!!!!!!

  • Chad

    Hey Katie, your cuz here. One very cool thing about the stroller I enjoyed was the ability to carry things for the parents. Let’s say you are headed to visit the mouse in Orlando and knowing its going to be a rather long day and the parents (father, actually) is probably going to get as cranky as the kid inside; you just stuff that bottom carrier with beer and all is good. Even if the mouse patrol stops you at the gate they always seemed to understand, give you a wink and you’re on your way. Obviously, most of them are grandparents who remember those days themselves. Anywho, pat the little guy for me and tell Chris I helped hook him up for his adventures with the stroller.

  • Whitney

    OH I HEAR YA!! After 16 weeks with Presley Im finally getting the hang of it. i hate going on day long adventures! You seriously pack your whole house. Its the worst. But as to your target dilemma I provide you with option D… Buy a baby bjorn, put beanie in it and push the cart. MUCH easier than trying to juggle everything and putting the carseat where the toddlers sit and then you cant see over it so you run into things. Its just a mess. I love my stroller. I bought just a skeleton where I just put my carseat in it real quick and it weighs like 4 pounds MAX. Best invention ever. Aside from a swing, a bouncer, a pacifier, diapers, etc, etc. You are doing great and he is so handsome… future son in law maybe? Is it bad that I am already looking for a husband for my 16 week old baby?

  • Jenn

    Sometimes its just easier to leave the big diaper bag stocked up in the car, and just take in a smaller one with a diaper, a small thing of wipes and a bottle. Even with bigger kids, I still keep a bag in the car with a change of clothes for everyone (including me) just in case.

  • Christina

    I love those waterproof pads…they are a lifesaver. A change of clothes, yes.
    Once I drove away leaving my stroller in a parking lot because I could not get it down; my daughter was 2! I was at a prenatal appointment. I banged it around, picked it up and smashed it, shook it, kicked it, and nothing would make it function properly. I took a couple of deep breaths and went back and then shoved it into the front seat of my car because it wouldn’t go in the trunk. My husband would not have been happy had I really left it there. I was so glad the day that we threw that thing out, though. I think it never got over the kicking.

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