02Mar
Last Friday was the first Friday Freeforall on Marriage Confessions, with a chance for a little Q&A action.  Thanks for all those who submitted questions in the comments section and via email.  I had a great time answering them.  Some of the questions were so good that they will require their own posting to answer in complete detail, but I’ve filed those away and will post on them in the coming weeks. So if you don’t see your question answered today, keep checking.  You may end up with your own post!
So, here we go…ÂÂ
1.  What are the ups and downs of picking out baby paraphernalia? ÂÂ
The up of picking out baby paraphernalia is definitely the registry.  I’m sure that it has something to do with the fact that I can’t shop for myself right now because of this new BFH (Budget From Hell – which is actually going incredibly well), but the registry is worlds of fun.  Its like shopping without having to pay any money.  I log in to just look at my registry at least twice a day.  I like seeing everything displayed together.  Makes me happy.  And I use my registry as a shopping list for me.  Whenever I have a little extra cash flow, I log into my registry and pick something out.  Its a great way to keep track of what I’m spending and buying. ÂÂ
The downside of the baby paraphernalia is that we are the first of our friends to have a baby, so sometimes its hard to find second opinions about things.  Picking things like strollers and high chairs and diaper bags is something that Chris and I really want to do together.  Its all part of the fun of preparing, and those are some of the only things that we actually have control over right now.  But there are certain things that we just HAVE to ask for some help with.  And learning to do that has been very…well…humbling.  Its such a stark reminder that we don’t know what the crap we’re doing!  We can’t even find the right kind of bottle sterilizer, for crying out loud!  How are we going to raise a baby?!?!  But we’re also learning that most people don’t know that kind of thing until their baby arrives.  Apparently parenting is a work in progress, which is a lovely thing to know!
2.  What did Chris do for you for Valentine’s Day and was it the whole Shebang?
 For Valentine’s Day, I did NOT get diamonds…(sigh)…BUT my Valentine’s Day was absolutely the whole shebang.  I was sleeping my way through New York that day and afterwards, I met Chris when he was done working (he works in the city).  We went to dinner at the restaurant that we went to the night we got engaged.  Its our favorite little restaurant in New York, Joe Allen.  Its not fancy or famous, but it has good food in a great atmosphere.  And more important than any of that, its OUR spot.  And they have hot, fresh, Tollhouse cookies for dessert with a scoop of ice cream.  To die for.  We had a great time and talked about the baby coming and how exciting that was.  We talked about how good we were doing with our money.  We talked about our past Valentine’s Days and how far we’d come.  Short of making out at the table, it was a great love fest. ÂÂ
After dinner we went to see In the Heights on Broadway.  It was good, but not as great as we were hoping it would be.  But the music was awesome, and that’s really what we went for so in that sense it was perfect.  Diamonds or not, it was a really great Valentine’s Day. ÂÂ
3.  Someone asked me the questions that James Lipton always asks at the end of Inside the Actors Studio.  I love that show!!
A.  What is your favorite word?  Twinkle
B.  What is your least favorite word?  Dialated
C.  What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?  Seeing passion or drive in someone
D.  What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?  Laziness
E.  What sound or noise do you love?  Walking on gravel or Chris’ car pulling in the driveway
F.  What sound or noise do you hate?  My cell phone ringing
G.  What is your favorite curse word?  PISS ANT!  (I don’t know if that’s a curse word or not…)
H.  What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?  Author
I.  What profession would you not like to do?  Accountant (my palms get sweaty just thinking about numbers)
J.  If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?  I’m proud of you.
4.  What staples you always have in your fridge?
 Salsa, Tabasco hot sauce, bacon, eggs, cucumbers, Clausen’s pickles, iceberg lettuce, and – since I’ve been pregnant – lots of strawberries.
5.  How are you doing avoiding Target and how are you doing it? ÂÂ
I am doing awesome with my Target addiction, thankyouverymuch.  I have bought no new shoes, no new make up, no new stationary or notecards.  Nothing.  I’m clean and Target-free.  I’m doing so well because of one little rule I made for myself.  I do NOT go to Target unsupervised anymore.  Never.  Ever.  Otherwise, I walk in for dish detergent and I find myself walking the purses and accessories aisle with my hands full of scarves and sunglasses.  Suddenly a $3.50 trip to Target would become a $150.00 trip.  Now, if I have to go at all for things like shampoo and toothpaste and instant brownie mix (IT WAS JUST ONE TIME, PEOPLE!  DON’T JUDGE!) I take a sponsor with me.  A partner.  A body guard.  Someone to keep me focused and on track.  Someone to forcefully escort me away from the new spring cardigans.  Someone named Chris.  Somehow, walking those bright red aisles with Chris at my side whispering quietly into my ear, “Do you really need that?” just takes all the fun out of my Target game. ÂÂ
A lot of people asked about the baby nursery and the reason I haven’t ever written anything about it and am not doing it now either is because it isn’t finished yet!  I want to do a big unveiling of the nursery once I deem it “finished.”  I am waiting for one more little thing – the most adorable lamp in the world – to complete my ensemble and then you’ll get pictures…Oh, man, will you get pictures.  So, those are coming. ÂÂ
Thanks again for your shout outs!  Happy Monday!
02Mar
This past weekend Chris threw me a non-baby shower. And it was pretty awesome. He invited friends from all over to our house on Saturday night to eat, drink, and celebrate the Bean. No gifts. No games. Just food and friends. I could tell you about it, but I think the pictures speak for themselves…
Chris decorating before the Big Event
He even got a blue cake!
The food table (my personal favorite spot for the evening)
(Please note the matching table cloth in this picture. It goes with the baby blue cake and balloons. I was very impressed with the color scheme. And in that Holy of Holy Crock Pots are my blessed meatballs.)
Quick pic before the guests arrive
A little Wii Bowling for the crowds
Most Adorable Child Ever playing Wii Tennis
(Please note the cupcake pockets on her skirt. Adorable. If Chris would let me, I would buy this skirt for the Bean, too. But this might cause a gender identity issue down the road. Better stick with pants…)
That's me taking a load off cause nothing is cute about swollen ankles in a party dress
That’s about it as far as pictures go. The best part of the night for me was this incredibly sweet toast that Chris gave and, of course, I didn’t have my camera out. He toasted our friends who have been around since high school and said how cool it was that we were able to share this new adventure with them. He toasted the Bean and said how excited he was to meet him and start our family. And he toasted me and said how proud he was of me and thankful that I was in his life. I mean, it was pretty perfect as far as toasts go.
So, attention all you husbands and budding fathers-to-be out there: Wanna know how to keep your wifey happy? Wanna know how to earn enough brownie points that you can take a few months off? Throw her a dinner party. Invite your closest friends. Shower her with kind words said in a public place.
And, above all, shower her with kisses. Works like a charm.
03Mar
When I was little, one of my favorite books was called If You Give A Mouse a Cookie. It was about how if you give a mouse a cookie, then he’s going to ask for a glass of milk. And if you give him the glass of milk, he’s going to ask for a napkin to wipe his mouth. And if he wipes his mouth, he’s going to notice his whisker’s need a trim. Etc., etc., etc.. The gist of the book is that we’re all greedy and if you give us an inch, we’re gonna take a mile.
I am the mouse.
It all started about a month ago when I had my own personal economic meltdown which resulted in my own personal stimulus package, consisting largely of cuts in spending to evil corporate empires. Like Target. When I started getting a handle on our budget and spending, I started to see the dollars adding up in our savings account (ALREADY!! Can you believe it?!?) and seeing the balance drop on several of our debts (we’re already paid one off entirely). I became addicted. I wanted more money. Not necessarily to spend, but just more. I went from getting a high by swiping my debit card at a shoe store to getting a high making extra car payments. I was on a whole different planet, let me tell you.
But in the past few weeks, I seem to have taken it a little too far. To the point now where its becoming weird. I’m looking for any way to make extra cash. Any legal way. It started innocently with just one radio contest. My local radio station was doing a contest where you send in one of your monthly bills and twice a day they were randomly selecting winners whose bills would get paid. I sent in my car bill. And then a student loan bill. And then my electric bill. And then my mortgage payment. I haven’t won yet, but I think I’m going to submit my cell phone bill next just to cover my bases.
And I didn’t stop there. I started thinking about how many hours I listen to the radio on my commute to and from work and of all the money that is randomly given away during those drives. Why shouldn’t I get a piece of that? I’m a loyal listener, dangit! So I programmed the radio station into my speed dial on my cell phone and now I call in whenever there is a contest. No matter what they are giving away. Last week, I was the next called AFTER the winner of a trip for four to a casino. What do I need with a weekend at a casino, you may ask? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t even like casinos, and I probably couldn’t go because of all the second hand smoke I’d inhale which would not be good for the Bean. But I am now calling the radio station daily and its getting a little weird.
Then I started thinking that this was really small beans that I was trying to win. What I should be focused on instead are the big bucks. Like the lottery. Why waste my time trying to get one bill paid when I could win the freaking lottery??? I’ve never played the lottery in my life. In fact, when I bought my first ticket a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know how! I had to ask the guy at the counter what I was supposed to do. So embarrassing. But, I’m a pro now since I buy them every week. I have not won a single penny yet. Not a penny. But I keep going back because I MAY win someday… Incidentally, it is this mentality that makes me pretty darn lucky that I didn’t win that casino trip.
I’ve also entered the Wheel Watcher’s Club on Wheel of Fortune. I watch that show all the time and people are always winning thousands of dollars if their Spin I.D. comes up. Why shouldn’t it be mine? So, I entered. And while I was registering online, I thought, “Why stop there?” and I signed up to be a contestant on the show. And then I went on to sign up for multiple television game shows – Jeopardy, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and I seriously considered The Bachelor, until I realized I couldn’t do it because I was, you know, married. All these shows out there are just giving money away. Why shouldn’t it be to me? And when I’m in New York, I only take a cab if its the Cash Cab. None of that paying for a cab ride for me. I want my cab to give ME money.
After all this prize/game show haze, I decided that large amounts of cash were what I needed. Just having a bill paid here or there wasn’t going to do it. Not only did I want to be debt-free with a nice cushion in my savings account, but I really didn’t want to have a job either. So, now I have started scheming up ways that I can make millions of dollars without ever having to work again. This leaves me with options like inventing something or dating someone famous. The dating someone famous thing is out because of the whole marriage thing again (which is really starting to cramp my style, by the way), so I am left with inventing something.
Which do you find more useful: A Girl Scout Cookie crumb catcher/preserver or a belt that holds your underwear up?
I really think I’m on to something…
In the past few weeks, my left leg has decided it hates me and its completely over this whole pregnancy thing. It has been swelling much more than my right ankle, which makes my walk more of a hobble. And just last week, it actually started giving up on living and will randomly just fall asleep for no reason at all. I could be sitting, standing, laying down – nothing entertains it, and so it just falls asleep. Around this same time, my lower back seems to have decided to take a cue from my left leg and it is boycotting my pregnancy as well in the form of this dull, constant ache.
Oh, yeah. Its all very attractive and makes me very happy.
I read online (see? I’m reading about my pregnancy now…28 weeks in…) that you should call your doctor if one leg or ankle should start to swell more than the other as it could be an indication of a blood clot. So, I called my midwife yesterday. She said that most likely it is just the position of the baby pressing on something, but just to be sure she sent me in for an ultrasound of my leg. Isn’t that weird?
I went through the whole ultrasound, which involved a lot of goo down my leg that ended up getting all over my incredibly cute dress. When I left the doctor’s office, it looked like I had peed down the front of my dress. Again, this was very attractive and made me very happy.
Anyway, the ultrasound tech said there was no blood clot, but that there was a lot of fluid in my leg. Yummy! She said that fluid retention was one of the main reasons for pregnany women to go on bedrest, so I really needed to try to get it under control. She said I should prop my feet up more when I’m home and try to do as little as possible around the house.
Uhh…I’ll try if I have to…
After the appointment, I called Chris to give him to report that my leg was not going to fall off.
“She said I needed to stay off my feet when I’m home,” I reported.
“Alright,” he said. “We can do that.”
“And she said that I needed to ice my ankles for an hour every day,” I added.
“Okay. We have ice.”
I decided to push my luck. “She also said that you should rub my feet at least 3o minutes every day,” I editorialized.
“Yeah….I’m gonna need to see a doctor’s note for that one.”
