As you all know, we here at MC are picking up and heading south. Its crazy how all of this happened and I’m still not sure how it seemed to all work out. It wasn’t easy getting this far, and its not over yet so we will keep you posted of course. But making this decision was really hard for me in particular. It took me a LONG time to get comfortable with the idea of going back to Florida, mainly because I love it here and I love our life here.
I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m an independent person, I always have been. I talk to my family once a week or so, sometimes more and sometimes less, but we are all ok with that schedule. Its been like that ever since I went to college. So it didn’t bother me when we made the decision to move to Connecticut to live. Sometimes I hate that I can’t see my sister for lunch and things like that but I have learned to live with it. I know that they will always be there for me if I need them. Maybe that is a little selfish on my part, but I love that me and Kate have our own lives up here. And it makes it so much more fun when family does come to visit because we could show them places that they had never seen before!
I won’t lie. I have fallen in love with New England. As a kid I was always jealous that we didn’t have snow. It flurried like twice when we were growing up and I can remember being so excited I couldn’t even sleep. CT is a beautiful place to live. There is so much history and culture and not to mention the scenic drives are endless. I love love love love love seeing the seasons pass. I’m of the out-doorsy type and I used to think the Utah was the most beautiful place I had ever seen but I think CT takes the cake. Each season has a completely different mood and feeling and I’m going to miss that so much. In Orlando, everyday looks the same. Sunny, usually warm, it will shower around 3pm, and the trees never loose their leaves. Poor trees.
But possibly the biggest hesitation I have for packing up and moving out are all of my brothers in NYC. I can’t tell you what it means to have people around that you have known for 15+ years. Justin, my best friend since the sixth grade, grew up down the street from me when we were kids. We have been friends for so long that I can remember having sleep-over’s and talking about kissing a girl for the first time. And I can remember the first time we tried a beer. And building tree-forts. Hell I new him YEARS before I met Kate (side note, I think they actually had a thing before we got together. weird.) Now I see him playing with my son and it blows my mind.
My other boys, that justin and I met in high school, all live in the city as well and let me tell you having that support group a train ride away has been awesome. I love all of those guys and I’m going to miss them more than anything.
Now I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be around all of these wonderful things forever. I figured when we had kids that we would end up in the Carolina area which both of us had the desire to live at some point. I certainly never thought we would go all the way back to Florida, and I really didn’t think we would be heading there like tomorrow.
But the reason I can to terms with all of this is this little guy.
You see, on the flip side of all of this, I have this Bean that need to think about now. I keep going back to the fact that I don’t know where I would be if my grandparents didn’t live next door to me growing up. I was my granddad’s little shadow as soon as i could walk and I know that I want BeanMan to have a relationship like that with his grandparents. We can’t do that from Connecticut, it just doesn’t work. But I guess that’s what you do when you have kids. You still make your life decisions, you just make those decisions with someone else in mind.
I love our life here. The past five or years has been some of the best years of my life. Our marriage is stronger than ever and we have a little family of our own now, so I feel like this chapter is complete. We are at a fork and we have chosen the path to Florida. The important thing is that we made the decision together. Kate started the conversation, and we talked, and we argued, and we talked, and we made the decision that we felt was the best one for everyone evolved; Me, Kate, Bean, the Dogs, and our families. My friends will always be my brothers, and Connecticut will always have its scenic drives, but Bean Man will only grow up once. And I really want him to grow up with his family close by.
1) Amy: Chris, I really admire your courage for making such a tough decision. I'm praying that everything works out well for you guys! Oh, and you probably don't want to hear this, but I have tears in my eyes now. At work. So thanks :) (02.25.2010 07:18pm)
2) Deb: Awe, made me tear up too! I'm excited for you guys. I wish my brother would move back to our home state since they have a son now too. It's hard building relationships with a baby when you're miles apart, totally tugs at my heart. Good for you guys and your families! (02.25.2010 07:19pm)
3) Renee: You want snow? You want seasons? You want beauty? Come to northern Michigan. Specifically, the Traverse City area. We get obscene amounts of snow (though I'm not a huge fan of it this time of year). It's gorgeous here, right on Lake Michigan and beaches everywhere. And it's home of Moomers Homemade Ice Cream, winner of Good Morning America's "Best Scoop" contest. You should visit sometime, but I would suggest the summer time. ;) (02.25.2010 07:25pm)
4) Ole Dave: Chris thanks for the post I know it is very heart felt, you know the thing I will miss about you guy's moving south is visiting you in Conn. I had never been there before you guy's moved there. We alway's had a great time when we came up to visit. One of the thing's I will miss are your friends, they are fantastic to hang out with. I remember when you and Justin used to pound on Kate's bedroom window when you guy's thought we were asleep. It is great to know that you all have grown into the people that you have become. I hope that Justin, Gary, Bret and the rest of your friends will always know that we have come to love and respect them as if they are old friends to us too. I know that you will miss them terribly, rightfully so, they are true friends. I hope they all come down to play golf and have a beer our two, I can't wait we will have a ball. Kate's Mom and Dad (02.25.2010 08:23pm)
5) Beanie's Nana: Chris, I want you to know how much it means to us to know that we are going to be a part of Beanie's life. That he'll grow up knowing us instead of having to warm up to us after months between visits. We'll keep our distance - but its so wonderful to know that you, Kate and Beanie are close by. You've opened a new chapter in our lives, too. (02.25.2010 08:39pm)
6) Leah: Chris, I think the best thing that Dave and I did was move way when we were first married. It teaches you to rely no eachother in ways you can't do with family around. But since you've had your "own life" you and Katie will have a good balance with family nearby. Since our first move we've moved every 18 months, another one is coming up for us. Ours have been planned with our company with little risk. I admire your courage for takig the leap of faith to make this move for your family. We'll have to make simiar decisions when we have kids. This step will be well worth it for you. (02.25.2010 09:05pm)
7) Marla: I understand the apprehension you must be feeling about such a huge change, but just think about the great vacations you will have visiting your friends. I'm sure it will be awesome. Plus, you could always hope that some of them move back to home too. :) http://asthefarmturns.wordpress.com/ (02.25.2010 10:19pm)
8) Megan: Beautifully said. And if there were more parents like you two the world would be a much better place. Which is why Farm Boy and I strive to make those sames kinds of tough decisions for our little Q-Tip. Many blessings to you both in your travels! (02.25.2010 10:34pm)
9) Heather in ND: Two thumbs way up!!!!! Also, Nana's comment... sooooo sweet!!! (02.25.2010 11:01pm)
10) EmilyC: Aww, you're so sweet to put your family first! I hope that in a year from now you look back at all the good things that will have happened and say - "this move was the best decision we made!" :) Who knows - maybe your boys will follow you back to Florida! Hope you guys have a safe trip and great things happen for you along the road of life! (02.26.2010 06:40am)
11) EmilyC: I just read the comment from Ole Dave, that is too funny!! You pounded on your girlfriends window in the middle of the night?!! LOL And, Nana's comment pulled at my heartstrings, Bean is going to get spoiled rotten! (02.26.2010 06:45am)
12) Kendra: beautiful post. Moving is hard but to have grandparents around for Bean will be so special. (02.26.2010 08:56am)
13) Lori @ I Can Grow People: Seriously, you guys should have just told us you wanted to move back to FL months ago. The Browns and Bollingers could have just swapped houses! We are exploring our options to leave Tally. I would LOVE to get back to CT. I desperately miss the change of seasons. Good luck with the move and we should definitely arrange for a visit when you are back in the Sunshine State! Bean and P-Bo need to get to know each other! (02.26.2010 09:20am)
14) Jean: Funny how kids change your lives. But, I know as well there is nothing in this life, houses, cars, jobs that is more important then my boys. My kids are the one thing in life that I will not compromise on. Congratulations - on your move. You are already amazing parents. Bean is a lucky kid. (02.26.2010 10:07am)
15) Mindee: At least you got to build your snowman . . . (02.26.2010 10:32am)
16) Miriam: You guys are such great parents putting Bean's needs before your desires. At least you got snow down there. If you had been living in NH you might have been discouraged about your dreams of snow! (02.26.2010 11:00am)
17) Kim: Chris and Kate: You sound so much like my husband and I. We're a little older than you two. We dated from the time we were 14, got married at 23, had a baby at 27 and another at 30. Between baby 1 and 2 we left our native CA and moved to Colorado. We'd never had seasons until then either. I'm super close to my family, but my husband is more like you, Chris, distance is fine. His "brother" lives in Colorado too. After baby 2 was born in Colorado, we started thinking. Would we rather be closer to family again after all. Coupled with some other circumstances at 32 we went back to our hometown in CA. It's had bumps. It's had good times. It's had family too close for comfort. And family close enough to comfort us. We're 38 now, finally feeling like we may know what we're doing. Old enough to know, we'll never know. You're doing right. Like you said, you're doing it together, in the end that's what matters. Best of luck to you both. (02.26.2010 01:41pm)
18) Liz, JM, Leo, and Rosie: Well, I am so excited for you three and so delighted that things are working out this way. I love following you all from China, where we are so very far from our family. Every choice we make has good things and hard things. In our case, being in China is where we feel called right now - even though it is about as far from our families as we could possibly get! I am sure someday we will at least move back to the States, in part because we too want to be close to family. We'll keep following you all the way to Florida! Give that Bean a squeeze for us. (02.27.2010 07:52am)
19) Erin Browne: I'm a new reader to your blog - love it! Moving is always hard. Wishing for the best for your family! (02.27.2010 11:26pm)
20) Hilary: Wow! I can't imagine what a difficult decision that was for you to make but I know that Katie and the Bean will forever love you for such a tremendous sacrifice! My hubby and I had this conversation ourselves last year when my daughter had turned one. We live in Massachusetts but I'm originally from Central NY. I desperately wanted my daughter to have instant access to her grandparents as well as leave behind the financial strain of living in Mass compared to my hometown. At the end of the day, as much as I wanted to "go home," I knew leaving Massachusetts meant my husband leaving behind his family and friends. It meant us leaving two teaching jobs we truly love, and it meant giving up all of the amazing sights, sounds and opportunities that Massachusetts could offer my daughter. I decided we'd stay where we are and to be honest, I am totally at peace with that decision. Knowing my husband would support the move was enough for me, I guess. Is it harder to be away from my family? Absolutely, but we're talking a four hour drive, certainly not from CT to FL. I totally understand Katie's desire to be near her family as I felt that longing as well. In our case, it just wasn't the right decision for our family or our relationship. But as I said, I truly, whole-heartedly commend you for being a man and putting your family first! Best of luck to the Browns in Florida! (02.28.2010 08:14pm)