Marriage Confessions

Reader of the Month

This month’s Reader of the Month is not a blogger, but I still feel like I know her because she leaves comments here all the time.  Laura and I have a lot of differences – she lives in Australia, I live in the U.S.; she lives with her boyfriend, I am married with a baby.  And I’ve noticed in Laura’s comments that we think differently on some topics.  But what I like about her is that even though we aren’t the same people living the same lifestyle, we still appreciate each others experiences.  She just seems like the kind of person you’d want to have over for a long conversation over dinner, you know?  I hope you all enjoy meeting Laura as much as I have enjoyed getting to know her through my blog…

What is your name?
Laura

Who lives in your house?
Me €“ I’m 26, and Anthony €“ 32

Where do you live?
We live in Sydney, Australia €“ my boyfriend is an Aussie (I’m American). I get to see the Opera House twice daily going to/from work.

How long have you been with your boyfriend?
6 years (!) in Julyon one hand, I can’t believe how fast it’s gone, but on the other hand, it just feels like we’ve been together forever.

How’d you meet your boyfriend?
I was studying abroad in London for my last year of uni. I planned a 3-week bus trip around Europe with my best friend after classes ended. Anthony and a friend of his were on the same trip. I wasn’t feeling well the first day of the trip and I fainted into the aisle of the bus €“ that’s how he noticed me! Kind of embarrassing, but a funny story! We ended up talking later on when I was feeling better and things developed from there.

What is your favorite part about being with him?
Anthony is one the kindest people that I’ve ever met. He flew over to the US to surprise me when we were long distance dating. Even if I cook something disgusting for dinner, he pretends it’s delish.

I also think we complement each other in many ways €“ I babble on about something, and he listensetc.

What is the hardest part about being with him?
Definitely the great Pacific/cultural divide. It’s not a huge point of difference between me and Anthony (sadly, I don’t even notice the sexy Aussie accent anymorehe just sounds like himself), but it’s very hard on our families. Living in Oz also puts a bit of pressure on us financially, because in order to be happy here, I feel I need to travel to see my family at least once every 10-12 months.

What do you think is the “key” to your success is in your relationship?
It’s kind of cliche, but I guess just acceptance and understanding. And sticking up for each other. Anthony has become a pretty big advocate for Americans. His family, friends or colleagues can’t get away with any American-bashing!

Also, I promised myself that we’d be fair when arguing. So I’ll never say, I moved here to Australia for YOU€ and use that as a threat. No matter what happens €“ no matter if it works out with me living here €“ we agreed upon that was best for us to live in Australia for now. That might change in the future. We’re going to have to be flexible.

Do you notice any cultural differences between relationships in Australia and relationships in the US?
Oh, yes! The first thing that comes to mind: I’m on a €˜de facto spouse visa’ here. So we’re not engaged or married, but we are a family in the eyes of the law. When we go through customs in an Australian airport, I go through the Australian residents and citizens’ line without any trouble. When we go to the States and bring Anthony through the American citizen line, they don’t understand the concept of that €˜spouse’ visa €“ they want us to go through separately until we have a marriage license or a ring on my finger. I guess it might be a security thing, but that difference is interesting nonetheless. That de facto visa recognises same-sex couples in Australia and I’m sure they have similar challenges when travelling abroad.

What’s in your purse right now?
My wallet, a newspaper article I clipped about Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup (I’m from Chicago and a huge Hawks fan), my iPhone, Advil, Pawpaw ointment (good for everything €“ can be lotion, lip balm, etc), 3 lip glosses (slightly addicted), keys, sunnies, flash drive, and one of those tiny antibacterial gel bottles from Bath and Body Works. Wowthere is a lot in there!

(Author’s Interjection:  I will now only refer to my sunglasses as “sunnies.”  Such a cool word!)

Thanks for checking out the blog, Laura, and for constantly providing support and encouragement and new ideas through your comments!

31 Comments

  • Katy

    I love these Reader of the Month posts! My husband and I have several Aussie/American couple friends- so glad you and your guy are making it work!

  • Mindee@ourfrontdoor

    What a fun interview. I love hearing about lives completely different from mine.

    Laura, do you think if you both lived in the states that you’d still notice his accent? Maybe it’s just because he “blends” there?

    Maybe I’ll ask Rich to start speaking in an accent and find out for myself. 😉

    • Elizabeth

      Mindee – I was thinking the SAME thing! I guess I will have to ask the hubs to somehow develop an accent as well… I bet it’s not quite as good as the real thing though…

    • Laura

      Hi Mindee!
      Nice to meet you too! That’s a tough question. The bf claims he doesn’t hear my accent anymore either (and I definitely don’t blend in here!)…

      But asking Rich to talk in an accent sounds like an excellent experiment 🙂
      L.xx

  • Lee Ann

    Thanks, Katie, for introducing us to Laura, and hello, Laura! It’s nice to know I’m not the only MC reader who is not a blogger!

  • claire

    Yay! So lovely to hear about another reader from Sydney! I’ll look out for you around town Laura. I can’t live without my pawpaw ointment either, amazing stuff!

    • Laura

      Hi Claire,
      Yes, someday maybe we’ll we wandering around DJs or something and bump into one another! 🙂 hee hee

  • Michelle @ theyellowlily.etsy.com

    Wow!! We are living the SAME LIFE Laura! I am American and my fiance is Aussie. We live in Brisbane and I make him take me back to Florida every few months as well. I am working on taking Katie’s advice and “bloom where I am planted” here in Australia. I wish we lived closer so that the four of us could get together and talk about… well, EVERYTHING! I related to everything you wrote about and also don’t hear the accent anymore, bummer! Anyway, I think we should be friends in real life 🙂 Thanks for sharing Laura!

    • Laura

      Aw, Michelle, I wish you were in Sydney! We should definitely be friends in real life. We’d have so much to talk about!!!

      Do you ever come to Sydney? Unfortunately I’ve never been to Brissy…sort of skipped over in en route to the Great Barrier Reef.

      Just looked at your website, you’re so crafty! What lovely stuff. Do you have a blog?
      Lxx

  • Another Laura

    Aha! So you’re the one who shares my name on here. I occasionally see that you’ve made a comment and wonder if I should write my comment as Laura or add something to differentiate myself. I usually stick with just Laura, but maybe now that you’re famous I should go by a different name on here.

    Or I could continue as usual and steal some of your fame lol.

    Now I’m just wondering if Katie can see our email addresses or has been thinking we’re the same person? I’m willing to pretend the latter is true and I’ll happily take my throne as co-Reader of the Month. haha

    Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, name-sharer. Your life sounds lovely. 🙂

    • Laura

      Hi Laura!
      I always wonder the same thing (if Katie thinks we’re the same person), but I’m sure she’s clued in. 🙂 Anyway, you leave nice comments so I don’t mind being associated with each other!

      I vote for you for next reader of the month so I can read about your life.
      Cheers
      Laura

  • Katie

    Hi Laura! It’s nice to meet you. I love the fact that you live in Australia and how different your life is from mine. I’m also very jealous that you get to see the Opera House TWICE A DAY!?!

    I hope you’ll start a blog, I would love to read about your daily life in Australia. =) Congrats on Reader of the Month!

  • Michaela

    Yay for fellow aussie readers (honorary ones at least) 🙂
    my partner lived in switzerland til he was 16, and so even though he has a very aussie accent now, there are still some cultural references he misses.
    i think it’s hilarious everyone is excited by the word sunnies- i can’t remember the last time i heard anyone say ‘sunglasses’ out loud!

  • kat

    Love it! I’m British, my other half is American and we also live in Australia…but on the West coast! I totally understand the hard work involved in this, Laura. The de-facto thing is brilliant – It is (for the time being, as we choose not to marry) the thing that brought us to Australia, given that our own countries do not recognise de-facto relationships….i.e. I can’t move to the States and he cannot move to the UK without being married. It’s crazy. We had only met a year previous in Asia so thanks to Australia, we have been able to be together…all the while enjoying this Aussie lifestyle. I wish the laws would change for us, we are nearing our 5 year anniversary yet neither of us are recognised in our respective countries. Gah! ah well, life is good down under, I’m sure you agree!

    • Laura

      Hi Kat,

      Yes, life is good down under! Glad you’re enjoying it too!

      I’m also glad to hear that you have also found a niche in being a “de facto” down here. Can Americans with an international “plus one” seriously not move to the US without being married? Whoa…I better not tell my boyfriend that! We always just figured we could live either place. I did have some suspicions about the US, given the customs dramas… Weird!

      Nice to “meet” you!
      Cheers
      Laura

  • Ashley

    I love the “de facto spouse visa” thing! Wish we had that in America. I’ve lived with my boyfriend for two years (been together for four) and we feel like we are a family…but the law does not. :-

    Also love that the Reader of the Month does not have to be a blogger always! Maybe I will have a shot someday. 🙂

    • Laura

      Hi Ashley,
      I hope you have a shot at ROTM too!

      And, I think you count as a family! Who cares what the law says? 🙂

      Lxx

  • Kate

    I have been calling my sunglasses “sunnies” as long as I can remember I’m American though so not sure when I picked that up…but I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one out there because surely no one else in my zipcode uses it!

    Also love that Australia is more includsive or a variety of families.

  • kat

    Laura – it seems so! We spoke with an immigration lawyer and the only way for me to get into the US is through marriage. Or, i go to graduate school there. Entirely possible, but as an international student the fees would be astronomical…50,000 plus a year! WHAT! It’s all reciprocal/political, isn’t it? There is a work holiday programme for Americans in Australia, so maybe it exists for Aussies in the US?! I don’t know. But for me there is nothing like that…and I thought our governments had some ‘special relationship’ ?!! wtf! Ha.

  • Jess

    Great picture!! I`m headed to Australia for 6 weeks come Sept 1rst!! I am SO excited!! Any suggestions on where I should go 😀

    • Laura

      Hi Jess,

      Oz is lovely that time of year, lucky you! I would say hit up Sydney, Melbourne and then somewhere in QLD where you can get off to the Great Barrier Reef. It’s lovely and the waters are so blue they are practically transparent.

      Melbourne has a nice cafe and food culture. In Sydney, I’d go up the bridge pylon (cheaper than BridgeClimb) and an Opera House tour for sure. Oh, and there are some wonderful “bushwalks” and hikes (Bondi Beach to Coogee; Manly to Spit) around Sydney. Enjoy!

  • Megan

    We have friends that just moved to Australia so now we get to go and visit! We haven’t planned our trip yet but we can’t wait! It seems like such a beautiful and different place.

    Katie I love reading about your reader of the month. I love meeting new people and TOTALLY love asking them a million questions. Especially when they live somewhere I’ve never been!

    Megan

    P.S. Laura…I call my sunglasses “sunnies” too. 🙂

    http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/

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