3:00am Recession Stream of Consciousness
August 13, 2010, 3:18am:
No! Don’t do it! Don’t wake up! Don’t wake up!
Shoot. I’m awake.
I need a job.
I hope it has benefits.
I can’t wait to get a paycheck again.
When I get a paycheck, I’m going to go to Target every day.
And eat Chick-fil-a every day.
And pay off my student loans.
And save for Bean’s college.
If I’m getting a paycheck, then Bean’s got to go to daycare.
He’s going to be so sad!
He’s going to think I’ve abandoned him!
Maybe that will only last a couple days and then he’ll make some friends.
I hope his friends are cool.
I hope Bean isn’t nerdy when he grows up.
I don’t know how to do calculus.
Or where to buy a pocket protector.
What is a pocket protector?
I need to do laundry.
Am I out of fabric softener?
I need to add it to my grocery list.
I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow when Chris gets paid.
I can’t wait to get a paycheck again.
I need a job.
…
…
3:21am
It’s only been three minutes?!?!
Oh, man. I’m going to be so tired in the morning!
I wonder if Chris will get up with Bean even though it’s my morning.
Why is Chris sleeping so good?!?!
He should be awake with me.
(nudge, nudge)
Wait, it he wakes up he’ll just wanna…you know…
Do I wanna?
Nah.
Better let him sleep.
Why don’t I wanna?
I feel fat.
I’m getting fat.
Oh, we need Oreos from the grocery store tomorrow.
I can’t wait for Chris to get paid tomorrow.
I miss getting a paycheck.
I need a job.
…
…
3:22am
It’s only been a MINUTE?!?!
I’ve got to go to sleep.
Should I read?
No, the light will wake Chris up.
But I could go to the living room and then use the light.
If I’m in the living room, I could write a little bit.
This would make a funny blog post.
When is my BlogHer check supposed to come this month?
I miss getting a real paycheck.
I need a job.
…
…
3:22am
I miss Bean.
Maybe I’ll go wake him up just so I can blubber his belly.
Nah. He’s never happy when he’s woken up.
Maybe I’ll just go peep at him instead.
But then I’d have to step over Big Molly in the hallway and that would wake her up.
She’d want to go outside.
That would wake Lucy up.
Lucy would want to eat.
The dogs need a bath.
I need a bath.
Did I shower yesterday?
I don’t even know if I showered yesterday. Good Lord.
I need a job.
But I don’t want Bean to go back to daycare.
He’ll start to get sick all the time again.
Maybe that was just a Connecticut thing.
I miss Connecticut.
I wonder how our house is doing?
I wonder if the basement still smells?
Gosh, I wish we had a basement here.
Then we could put all our moving boxes in there and free up that room.
I could turn that room into an office.
But, why?
It’s not like I have a job.
I need a job.
…
…
3:40am
Maybe I should take something.
Does that make me a pill popper?
I can’t believe Brittney Murphy died.
I loved when she said “Cheese and rice!” instead of saying a curse word.
Man, cheese and rice sounds delicious right now.
I’m hungry.
I wonder if I could sneak some food in bed without waking Chris up?
I think we’re out of pretzels.
Better get those at the grocery store tomorrow.
Chris gets paid tomorrow.
I can’t wait to get a paycheck.
I need a job.
34 Comments
Katy @MonsterProof
I love how funny that was…even though too relatable.
Renee
I love this! And funny thing, I was up at the same time thinking and thinking. I was mostly thinking about back-to-school stuff though, which is very exciting for me. I’m a dork, I know.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I was up at 3 too. Of course that’s a different time than your 3 but still . . . I was up thinking about how much I don’t want to start work today and trying to figure out if we could NOT have my paycheck.
You’ll get a job Katie. Or win the lottery. Or sell your book. Something. I just know it. 🙂
Claire
I know that feeling of the 3am sleeplessness. you lie there, and it’s impossible to stop your mind from spinning crazy crazy endless streams of consciousness. If it’s any consolation, I’ll be up at 3am this morning (or rather tomorrow morning, it’s 10:45 pm here right now) writing an essay. 3am sucks.
Stephanie
Wow – hello my own 2:30 a.m. thoughts. Small differences like how can we afford that instead of needing a job, but …. well let’s just say you are obviously not alone in thinking an insane amount of info during the early morning hours.
Speaking of a job – whatever happened with that interview?
Katie
Still waiting to hear…
Amy
This made me laugh so much. It’s exactly how my thought train goes at 3am. At least now I can stay awake assured that I’m not the only person in the world who thinks this way
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos
I go through this nightly!! When I can’t sleep it’s because my brain just won’t turn off, and I have the most random stream of thoughts!
Nate's Mom
BRILLIANT! And the sick thing at daycare? So not a CT thing. My friend just put her twin girls in daycare for the first time last week, and their one year wellness check turned into a sick visit… Stinky. And cheese and rice? That’s funny…and sounds good….
vava
hahahaahahahahahahahahaha…..thanks for that.
Alaina
Ugh, I am so sorry! I have totally gone through those same types of conversations before in the middle of the night, too. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that you do find a job!
Molly
Dude, these were my thoughts for 10 months while I waited for a job. And of course, now I love getting a paycheck but I miss my boys sooooo much it hurts during the day 🙁 It’s a tug of war, I tell you.
My sister who lives in Florida was also unemployed for 10 months before she got a job. Maybe it’s the magic number?
Jen at Cabin Fever
Seems like you have a lot on your mind! I hope that you were able to work through something in your stream of typing… haha.
And don’t worry. There are hundreds (thousands!) of us having the very same thoughts 🙂
Cabin Fever in Vermont
Erin
Sorry you had to go through that last night but I totally understand. Thankfully I will sleep through the night but it takes 45 minutes of that thought process before sleep and it starts right when I wake up!
Kendra
We should talk when we are both up at these hours thinking about random stuff. I HATE not sleeping and looking over and seeing the husband sound asleep. I too debate waking him up but that either means he will be cranky or he will want to…
Kat
I absolutely hate it when I’m awake and can’t stop thinking while the hubs is happily snoozing away next to me. Actually, I just hate being awake and thinking in the middle of the night.
Sara @ embrylovescookies
I was up at 3, but only because my 2 year old has a head cold and was up all night coughing, bleh!
Now, all I can think about are Oreos 🙂 “Come on kids! We’re gong to the grocery store for some cookies!”
Andrea
Aaaahahaha that was perfect – I’m all too familiar with that crazy way thoughts link together when you’re just laying awake in bed.
Lately mine have been about money (and the lack thereof), the husbie getting into med school, our resulting move & my then having to job-hunt (insert PANIC here), what I want to wear tomorrow, that I need to finish a load of laundry, then the cats realize I’m awake & start meowing & doing laps over my stomach.
I need another cup of coffee this morning……
Cindy
I woke up at 12:00 and was up until 2:30 a.m. thinking random thoughts like that too!
Megan (Best of Fates)
This is officially my new favorite post from you.
On a related note, isn’t it weird how feeling fat always leads to Oreos?
I’m not suggesting an International cookie conspiracy.
I’m only saying it makes sense.
melissa
dear katie,
i want a paycheck too. i sort of want a job. if only because it means having a paycheck. i finished graduate school in june and have been looking looking looking. it is so fun.
love, melissa
Lindsey
Loved this post!!!
Katie M
Funny how when there’s an option to… ya know… w the thought it’ll put you to sleep never works. I’m wide awake and ready for the day right after…
Also, you should invest in a giga pet (remember those!). They’ll keep you entertained when you’re up and bored (although I haven’t had one in about 15 years, so their novelty might’ve worn off…). Hope you’re not too tired today!
Miriam
Describes too well how I’ve been sleeping lately. Sigh. But I wouldn’t be able to write it so humourously.
Tenesse
Have you been wandering through my brain lately? Scary. 😉
Jen
there must have been something in the air last night…I was doing the same exact thing at 3am!!
Nikki
One of my favorite posts ever! I don’t wake up early b/c of too many random thoughts in my head, I usually just can’t fall asleep to begin with. I had this problem last night! Which is kind of crazy because it has been a while since that’s happened…
pamtastic
OMG…so funny and so true! We women…it’s amazing what we can find to obsess over at 3am, isn’t it? Simply amazing… I think I’ll go have some Oreos now, thanks! 🙂
Leah @ just plucking daisies
This has been happening to me lately and I thought I was crazy! I can be up at all hours with every thought possible running through my head. Glad to know I’m not the only one!!!
Jen from OurSuperLife
I love it how we all can related in some way or another! I love our little internet “neighborhood” (in your words Katie!)
Kathleen
This is a beautiful entry. I love it.
Niki
You DO have a job. You’re just not getting a paycheck for it. :-/
When I can’t sleep at night, which thankfully doesn’t happen as much as it used to, there’s usually just one thing my mind focuses on.
Christina
I know others have said it, but I was also awake at that time…couldn’t turn my brain off, kept hearing weird noises. Scraping across the floor…stuff like that. Does not help me get back to sleep! My husband comes back from Africa tomorrow…maybe there will be sleep tomorrow night. Among other things. hahaha I crack myself up. And do you know, I’m being serious here, that I have also had the thought lately that I can’t believe Brittany Murphy is dead.
I hope you get some Chick-Fil-A soon. 🙂
Michaela
Hey Katie-
I don’t have twitter, but I just saw the update about your robbery, and wanted to give you all my sympathy and well wishes.
I know it’s being too hopeful, but I hope they didn’t get anything with too much sentimental value- that is too irreplaceable. For everything they did get, or ruin, do remember that karma will get back to them.
And that calories don’t count for a week after a robbery (i checked -it’s totally science!).