I Don’t Wanna.

So.

I’m pregnant.

14 weeks pregnant today, to be exact.

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Don’t be fooled by my smile.

This is what I really feel like doing.

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I’m such a lady.

But I can’t help it. I feel like crap. And I know I keep talking about it and I know you guys are tired of hearing about it but I just can’t help it. I’m a big believer in the misery-loves-company theory.

So, come.

Be my company.

Sit with me a spell while I tell you about how much I’ve puked today. And yesterday. And the day before yesterday. Here, I’ll give you a summary. Today I had a doctors appointment and I now weigh LESS than I did BEFORE I got pregnant. As in, I am LOSING WEIGHT because of my pregnancy.

So, again, I say…

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I don’t really want to do much of anything really. I definitely don’t feel like standing in front of a class teaching. When I talk too much, I throw up. When I sit down, I throw up. When I stand up, I throw up. When I smell middle school kids after they’ve been in gym class, I throw up.

IT AIN’T PRETTY.

I also don’t really want to be blogging (no offense, Imaginary Friends…). Looking at the computer screen makes me wanna:

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But my evil, cruel husband said that I HAD to blog tonight because I am being “irresponsible with my blog.” I’m unpredictable now. I’m an irresponsible blogger. And I need to “buck up” and “git her done.”

This:

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…does not deter him.

Heartless, non-hormonal, un-pregnant bastard of a man.

So, here I am. Blogging. Against my will.

Oh, and I’m supposed to be blogging “happy.” I’m not supposed to tell you how sick I feel or how pissed off I am or how much I hate being pregnant (no offense, New Guy…). So, I won’t tell you any of that…

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Instead, I’ll tell you that I think I’m having a boy.

But let me tell you why…

I just know it.

Also, at my doctor’s appointment this morning, the New Guy’s heartbeat is healthy, but slow. SLOW. As in, SLOW HEARTBEATS OFTEN INDICATE A BABY BOY.

And besides that, I just know it.

I can feel it in my loins.

Er…my womb.

Which is now a little boy’s womb. I think I’ll decorate with cars and trains and dinosaurs.

In all honesty, another boy would just float my maternal boat. I love having a boy. Bean is AWESOME and I can’t help but think another one would be AWESOME-ER. And I’m excited for the things that are coming with him, too. All those boy things that are so much fun.

Now, a girl would be awesome, too. Just in a very different way. It’d be all new and different and exciting and full of pink things. I’d love a girl in ways that I don’t even know yet. So, if New Guy is really a New Girl – bring on the pink! Bring on the curls! Bring on the Easy Bake Ovens and the saddle oxford shoes with corduroy skirts and tights! I’m ready!

But, I’m having a boy. I just know it. And that really makes me glow.

(One more time, just for fun…)

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78 Thoughts to “I Don’t Wanna.”

  1. Hahah! You make me laugh so much. This is why I love your blog. I hope you get some relief soon.
    I think I mentioned it before but my best friend is pregnant with her second and 12 weeks right now – feeling the exact same way after a relatively easy first pregnancy. Maybe it’s something in the air!

  2. Nova Kristin

    Poor baby! I’m sorry you are still being plagued by the sickness. If it makes you feel any better, my sister did the same thing, lost so much weight that they put her on meds to keep from not puking and told her to drink a malt every day for a month to gain her weight back. Chocolate ones are pretty good;-)
    Praying for you now<3

    1. Nova Kristin

      oops, I meant to keep from puking. Sorry!

  3. Rebekah M.

    oh girl! you can tell your husband to update “the man cave”!! (i mean, if you wanted to be really mean and kinda bitchy too). hope that you stop vomiting after 20 weeks! (or ya know…tomorrow would be good too!)

    1. Katie

      EXCELLENT ADVICE!! I’m hounding him about it RIGHT NOW!

      …as soon as I finish throwing up.

      1. Brooke

        This was going to be my advice too, but someone beat me to it. πŸ™‚

      2. That was also my line of thinking…its been since June 7th that he updated the man cave!! I hope the all day sickness goes away asap, I know its not fun!!

      3. Haha! That’s exactly what I was thinking! I’d love to here his take on the whole baby surprise:)

      4. Well, apparently a lot of us had that thought. Me too.

        Oh, and this line “Heartless, non-hormonal, un-pregnant bastard of a man.” made me laugh. out. loud. And it’s GOT to be funny for that. πŸ˜€

        Sorry you’re sick. You really DID pop out. I mean, I know from experience how fast that happens. Maybe I just have too much fat (well, I KNOW I have too much fat) to actually have seen it that well. LOVE it. At least people aren’t wondering if you are just “gaining a little weight.” (Like me. I just look more fat til about 6 months. so fun. not.)

        1. Emily

          I was thinking the same thing! June 7th was forever ago!

  4. This made me laugh so hard, Katie! I’m glad that, even though it makes you feel like poo (which is bad, and I definitely DO NOT WANT for you) that Chris made you post, even though you rebelled against the happy, and instead went for barf jokes. I’m totally on board with the barf jokes! Because I’ve apparently turned into a middle school boy. Sigh.

    Hope you’re feeling well enough after seeing the doctor to be up and about more, without feeling like that picture. We miss you!

  5. Tiff

    Aha. Prime example of why I stopped with one child. My pregnancy was a breeze (if you overlook the horrific backaches, insomnia, and constant peeing). I never had morning sickness so I can only imagine that child 2 would be hell-bent on avenging it’s brother and I would never stop hurling. You’re very brave, mama!

  6. Rachel

    You’re so cute, Katie.

    Also, you’re having a girl.

  7. Catherine

    Feel better!!!!!! I was hoping it’d be over soon. You’re my hero for teaching full days with all of that nausea! I hope Chris and the Bean are pampering you. xoxo

    1. Catherine

      P.S. You have the best maternity clothes! You always look adorable! (Even if pretend puking!)

  8. If it makes you feel any better, everyone feels like puking when they smell middle school kids after gym class.

  9. Kristin H

    Aww I was holding out for a girl – but I think that’s only because that’s what I want so badly – and I won’t be in a position to have a child for at least 5 years (if not 10). Your baby will be adorable no matter what – and will have an awesome older brother to boot (and who doesn’t want that?). Hope you feel better soon! And I definitely agree that Chris should update the man cave instead of harassing you πŸ˜‰

  10. dave

    one of the most attractive barf photo series i’ve ever seen. you’ve got something going for yourself there, katie!

  11. Haha! First time commenting, but I just had to say OOF, I feel your pain. Or, at least, I VIVIDLY REMEMBER your pain. I like to refer to the time I had morning sickness with my daughter (weeks 6-17ish, thankyouverymuch) as when I viewed the world through puke-colored glasses. I have PTSD from that time and everything and anything that reminds me of that fall gets me gagging. This even goes so far as to include things like a video montage I made for my husband for our first wedding anniversary. The song I used gets me dry heaving in no time.

    I hope you feel better very, very soon!

    Laura

    PS – Seriously – how are you teaching while dealing with this? I was so very thankful for my office job during that time. I could put my head on my desk w/my garbage can next to me and just cry out “Oh WOE is me” all day long.

  12. Lissa

    See if you can find yourself an acupuncturist. Acupuncture can be wonderful with pregnancy and chemo intense barfing.

    Poor lambie

  13. Aww, poor Katie!

    I have to admit though, this post made me giggle.

    If you’re being an “irresponsible blogger,” Chris should post in the Man Cave and pick up the slack! πŸ˜‰

  14. Breann

    See I have heard the same thing about the heartbeat, but it turned out I am having a boy and his heartbeat is FAST!! And I had all these dreams about having a girl.. So you never know for sure!! πŸ™‚

  15. Oh man. If you are being an irresponsible blogger, I’d hate to know what he’d say about my shoddy blogging practices!

    Also, you just announced you’re definitely having a boy to the internet. This means you’ll have a girl*. Was that your plan?

    *At least, this is how things tend to backfire for me πŸ™‚

  16. Nate's Mom

    May your enduring morning sickness be the birth control that your students need. In fact, you should lecture on it. Daily. Soon enough, no one will be dancing at those boy-girl dances!

  17. Katie,

    Thanks so much for posting, I am missing hearing about Bean. Sorry to hear you are so sick though but your post did make me laugh.

    My friend is due any day and was the same way (loosing weight) and now that the baby is due she’s only put on like 10 pounds total!!

    Best wishes!

    -C

  18. Gin

    If you say it’s a boy, I’ll believe it’s a boy. A mother’s intuition is often not wrong in these cases. On my Dad’s side of the family I’m the first girl born in something like 4 generations. So the whole family and even the doctor up until just a few weeks before (25 years ago ultrasounds were less awesome than now) were pretty sure I was going to be a boy. But, my mom knew I would be a girl. And, when I popped out, she was right.

  19. Ok, so as someone who has never been pregnant but hopes to be someday soon(ish), I have an important question. How the heck do you make it through a day of teaching throwing up so much? I can’t even imagine. I have nightmarish thoughts about being sick at my boring desk job with a bathroom 20 feet away and free access to it. What the heck do you do in front of a room full of kids??? Inquiring minds want to know.

    1. Natalie

      I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED THAT TOO! Except the bathroom is even further away for me through various rooms of cubes. And I wouldn’t put myself in the soonish category for children.

      Also – and I read another commenter say this too – but the doctors told my family I was a boy based on my heart rate. My grandma was convinced she was getting a granddaughter though πŸ™‚ Anyways – hope you feel better soon, Katie!

  20. Ashley

    You better remind Chris that he hasn’t blogged in months!! Threaten to puke on him πŸ™‚ Hope you get to feeling better, and thanks for cracking me up AS ALWAYS!

  21. Maryellen

    They say lots of puking =a GIRL! In my case, that was right! I didn’t get morning sickness until I was 3 months pregnant – just after my first doc appt. by the next month’s appt, I had lost 9 lbs. I lost 14 pounds before I started to finally put weight on. When I gave birth, I weighed 4 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant. By far, pregnancy is my favorite weight loss plan! You definitely reap the rewards- oh well if you have puke in your hair for 4 months!

  22. Jennifer

    sorry you are feeling so pukey Katie. Hope the new drugs help. When do you get to find out for sure what you’re having?

  23. totally feel your pain! i puked for 22 weeks and lost 21 lbs…and i had a girl. you are having a girl. wahoooooooo! did the doc give you anything for it?

  24. Lisa

    I hope you feel better soon, I had a friend in the same boat who actually lost weight during her pregnancy too and everything ended up alright…she ended up having a boy actually, now that I think of it!

  25. DUDE. Diclectin. Seriously. It saved my life. I was as sick as you are now. Like lying on the bathroom floor at work with the lights off sick. It might make you feel a little like a zombie, but I’d take it over non-stop barfing any day.

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

  26. Lindsey

    What about the Man Cave? I don’t think he has blogged since Bean’s birthday in June!!!

  27. Oh Katy I’ve been there and I’m sorry! At one point with one of my pregnancies I was living off of: sucking on lemon wedges, ice cubes (cuz water made me puke), and sipping diet coke. healthy huh? Babydoll was born several months later and perfectly healthy. You just do what you have to to get through the barfing.

    And don’t worry about the unpredictability, we all know you’re feeling like crap and understand that you’ll blog when you feel like it! Don’t worry! :o)

    Take care!
    Abby

  28. Casper

    I feel you. I threw up everyday all day long. So much so that it destroyed my perfect teeth. I think my just now went away (21 weeks)! Fingers crossed. Your post was pretty funny. Just tell your non pregnant husband to shut up! Blogging will still be there when you feel up to it! We will wait for you. We understand completely :)! I thought mine was a boy (but this is my first so I had nothing to compare it to) but mine is a girl!!

  29. Laura

    Wow…all this puking talk isn’t selling pregnancy very well. haha. Seriously, though, sorry you are feeling so miserable. That stinks. Keep on trucking and hopefully the puking will ease up (or go away entirely, fingers crossed!).

  30. Ugh, I’m sorry that you’re still feeling so sick. Hopefully it’ll stop soon? (No, I haven’t been pregnant so I have no idea what I’m talking about)… C’mon New Guy, give Katie a break!

  31. Feel better soon Katie!

    Oh and by the way…all three of my boys’ heartrates were in the 160’s…my daughters was 130 all the way through. Don’t decorate the womb with cars and airplanes just yet! πŸ˜‰

  32. amanda

    I hear ya girl. What I’m really just dying to know is if you had Chris take the puking picture or if you put the camera on self timer. ( Can’t help it, just gotta know! )

    Feel better and give yourself a break – you are entitled to feel like crap. You are entitled to not want to do stuff. At this stage of the game with the constant puking, it’s more like you have the flu and the flu is no fun. Albeit a blessed and miraculous life-creating flu. Puking is puking. It ain’t no fun for nobody.

  33. amanda

    Also – I second the motion for the anti-barfing medication. My friend is a NURSE and she dealt with the gestational diabetes with her first baby (girl) and this second time (not sure yet boy/girl she is due in a week) there was no gestational diabetes, instead wildly out of control puking. She got the no-barf medication and it was AMAZING. She could function as a human again – she could take care of her 2 year old daughter, she could get through the work day – and LO she even got to get a little excited about her second baby after all.

    Ask your doctor and if they say it’s ok – trust them – they are the doctors.

  34. You are such a lady. <3

    And I can’t wait to hear if it really is a boy! Are you going to find out at 20 weeks?!


    Cabin Fever in Vermont

  35. Isabel

    I had a bad cold last week. That doesn’t really count, does it? Going to be quiet now…

  36. Ashley

    If it’s any consolation, you look great! Hang in there…hopefully you’ll get to that whole glowy pregnancy stage very soon and that you’ll quit puking! I’ll pray for you. πŸ™‚

  37. you poor thing! I feel your pain too – last year when I was in my first trimester, I got to where I hardly blogged at all. I didn’t feel like doing ANYTHING! I will say that I regret letting my blog lapse like I did because it was hard to pick back up. Now everything is great but it took a while to get it to where it once had been.

    ps – I just KNEW I was having a girl too. But she ended up being a he. πŸ™‚

  38. rebecca

    I too was 14 weeks yesterday, we are at exactly the same point (to the day). I am feeling your pain, so tired of gagging!

  39. Aw, I bet Bean would love having a little brother….and I’m so sorry you’re still feeling so sick. You know you’re really sick when blogging (or the thought of it) makes you want to do what you were simulating in those pictures.

  40. alison

    I think you are wrong, you are having a girl!

  41. I am not pregnant again and I still can’t seem to blog every weekday! I think you’re doing a GREAT job!! You’re still hilarious even when you’re puking. (sorry!)

  42. Jen C

    Poor Katie! i was in your shoes a mere month ago but i finally kicked the puking. Middle schoold kids stink most of the time anyways, let along after gym. Dont blame you for getting nauseous there.

    i thought i was having a boy when i was craving meat and and carbs 24/7. my life-long love of ice cream has been nonexistent in the past 6.5 months.

    I have missed your posts but I don’t blame you for taking some time off while you yak. Hope this crap ends for you soon πŸ™‚ Where are Chris’s posts? shouldn’t he be filling in for you? (hint hint)

  43. Amy

    I also want to know how you are making it thru the school day! Do you have any horror stories where you’ve yakked on a student or in front of your students? I’m giving you blog fodder here….

    Hope you feel better soon. And I can’t wait for the big reveal on the sex of the New Guy!

  44. Kristy

    You should tell Chris he should be doing his “Man Cave” posts, we haven’t heard from him since JUNE! What is his excuse?

    I hope you feel better soon and I am glad you take the time to write a post, this is my favorite blog and enjoy reading whatever it is you want to write, even if it entails barfing.

  45. Please, please, please take the IntelliGender Prediction test kit! I took mine at 11 weeks and it said BOY! Now, those things aren’t 100% accurate of course, BUT if you are going to find out anyway what you are having it would be fun to take the test and then find out if it was right. That may not be fun for you, but it is a totally fun idea to me. And it would be a great blog topic. You can get the test at any drugstore. Mine was $25.00. Just a thought!
    I’m 13 weeks today… one week behind you! πŸ™‚ I’m sorry you are so sick. πŸ™

  46. Back in the 80s in New Brunswick they didn’t do ultrasounds. My mother was told that I was going to be a boy because my heartrate was so low and that my brother was going to be a girl because he had a high heartrate.

    So those things aren’t necessarily accurate. I hope you feel better soon.

  47. Ann

    I’m sure you’ve heard this (maybe another commenter has even suggested it), but extra vitamin B6 has been shown to improve nausea in some pregnant women. In general, don’t do anything you don’t want to do! πŸ™‚

  48. Nicole

    I am pregnant too, about 3 weeks behind you, so I can definitely commiserate on feeling terrible. I have lost weight too, but that is more because I had to have surgery while out of town to take my appendix out and couldn’t eat anything for days. I am starting to feel a little bit better now and I hope you will too soon! Hang in there, they say it is supposed to get better! And keep blogging, because I am new to this and it helps to see someone else in the same boat!

  49. Ugh…may the puking stop soon for all suffering.

  50. Abbie

    I agree with all the people that posted above that Chris should post in the Man Cave! It’s been way too long and that would take some of the pressure off you! Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

  51. Maternal instinct rarely fails. I can’t wait to find out what you’re having!! Feel better and stop losing weight. You’re making me look bad.

  52. I am so, so, so sorry for you and your puking.

    But it’s a girl.

    I’m sorry, but I only threw up – violently and prolonged until I thought I’d die – with the girls. The boy saved his trouble for after he was born.

  53. I’m sorry about all the puking. I puked for 17 weeks with my first pregnancy. And then I got the flu. It was not.fun.at.all. Hopefully the puke ends soon for you.

    I have two boys. And I love it. I kinda wanted to believe #2 was a girl. But deep inside I knew it was a boy. And I love them both dearly.

    Take a look at my blog post from today. It could very well be what you’re seeing soon. And it’s glorious πŸ™‚

  54. Awe i hear ya on the losing weight. I got prego and ended up weighing the same on the day I delivered. But I’ll pray that the New Guy eases up a bit on you.

    P.S Id love to see a blog about the test you tried!

  55. We don’t mind hearing about whatever you have to say! It’s what you’re going through, and we have come to love you! And it feels like we know you…and when you have a friend, you want to know what their life is like, and what’s going on.
    I’m sorry you’re feeling bad. Your sense of humor still shines through. πŸ™‚

  56. Heather M

    Chris HAS his area of the blog and it would be good to hear how he is feeling about the approach of the New Guy πŸ˜‰

    My best-friend has just had her second baby and the same thing happened she lost weight. Now little Samuel is born he’s the one gaining the weight! My friend has kept it all off.

    As long as you are still able to get the food your body does need – that is the important thing. Pamper yourself this weekend πŸ™‚

  57. Hilary

    Sorry to hear you’re so sick. Luckily the bathroom is across the hall from my classroom but I never puked during my pregnancies. Also, middle schoolers tend to smell no matter what – we had a long talk about wearing deodorant and taking daily showers in my class the other day. As for mother’s intuition, don’t put a lot of stock in it when it comes to predicting gender. I was sure kiddo #2 was another girl, as was my husband, mother and mother-in-law. We were psyched about having two little girls until the ultrasound tech told us, nope, it was a boy! I almost fell off the exam table! I must admit, I wasn’t sure I could handle a boy since my daughter is the toughest, bossiest two-year-old I have ever met. But God sent me a sweet-faced angel and I just love him to pieces! He is such a wonderful, happy-go-lucky kid and so much easier than my daughter was. My husband says I’m obsessed because I just cuddle him as much as possible. I love having a mama’s boy!

  58. Karen

    Oh, Katie, you poor thing! I’m all for better living through chemistry–hit up your doctor for some Zofran or something else–it’s safe for the baby and should help you get through your day teaching. I don’t know how you’ve done it this long! I’d rather sever a limb than be nauseated!
    And, you’re NOT an irresponsible blogger!

  59. omg! I had an ultrasound and found out that today I am also exactly 14 weeks pregnant!
    EDD of April 8th!
    How ironic πŸ™‚ (Sorry, a little excited someone, somewhere is exactly as far along as me haha)
    Don’t old wives tales say that if you have a lot of nausea it’s a girl?
    Lucky for me I’ve felt fab lately. No nausea, no anything, just a smooth past few weeks.
    Crossing my fingers it’s a little boy!

    Anyway congrats and I really hope you feel better soon!

  60. I hate do disagree with you but right when I saw the ultrasound pictures I thought it looked like a little girl…so…if I’m right, you have to name her Haley.
    She will be my greatest accomplishment.

  61. Melissa

    Hang in there. I had sickness with my first one so I know exactly how you feel. I am pregnant again, but have not officially announced it yet and so far no sickness but I am just now 7 weeks and I hope I will be blessed this time without it, but I am not counting on it yet. I have the same thoughts as you regarding girl or boy. My first was a boy too. When did your m/s start? And can you remind me again what week you were when you found out you were pregnant? I ask because I tell you this pregnancy is already so different and I am just wondering how long you went with not feeling pregnant because I am not feeling it right now.

  62. naomi

    Okay, this is so cool….b/c I am exactly one week behind you! I am/was 13 weeks preggo on October 7th. (its our first child). Mind you this baby still isn’t taking up much real estate yet. I heard the babies heartbeat too at 10 weeks. It was a little slow as well….but as much as I’d love a little boy to splash in mud puddle with, intuition says ‘girl’.

  63. I know being sick all day is miserable but I would love to be sick right now. I lost my sweet baby at just 7 weeks. So, even though being sick does suck (been there with my first one) at least it is for a very good reason and you haven’t had to endure the total heartache of a losing your baby. I’m not trying to be snarky or dimsmiss your misery; I’m just trying to help you look on the bright side.

    1. Katie

      You are exactly right, Christina. It is a wonderful misery. Thanks for the reminder.

  64. If it helps, you don’t look like you have been puking all day… you look great! I lost weight throughout my pregnancy because I was so sick, but it didn’t affect my baby one bit. Ava was born 8 lbs 2.8 oz and healthy. Now I wish I could say I’ve continued to loose the weight over the last six months… I do hope that the morning sickness eases up soon (since you’ve started out this sick there are probably going to be things that continue to set you off but hopefully it won’t be so bad!). As for your blogging I think you do a great job of keeping up with it considering your present circumstances, and you don’t have to put on a good face. Your “heartless, non-hormonal, un-pregnant bastard” husband just doesn’t understand!

  65. Ann G-B

    This post is the best birth control ever!

  66. Heather

    this cracked me up…though i’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time of it! I was sick my entire pregnancy and ended up losing 35 pounds….which i found exceedingly funny…(now….not then when the only things i could stomach were M&Ms (i should have bought stock shares..my consumption alone probably made them skyrocket) and baba ganush..i mean really? …Anyway, you have a boat load of internet fans who are standin behind ya!

  67. we are one week apart (I’ll be 18 weeks this Friday) and I have to say that I can’t tell or “feel” what I’m having. Do you think you have this feeling because it is your second (I’m on my first)?

  68. Erin

    Thank GOD for this blog post. I have been feeling the EXACT same way and keep thinking that I am just a weak whiny woman who needs to buck up and get over it. I’m 8 weeks and sick allllllllll the time. I don’t want to do anything, eat anything, or smell anything. All I want to do is lay in bed! This is our second child – we have a 3 year old boy and I do not remember being this sick with him. Everyone keeps telling me that girls make you sicker. I don’t care – I just want this dang sickness to be over already! And I hear ya on the losing weight – normally I wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds but not during pregnancy! Anyway! Sorry for the long comment – just wanted to commiserate.

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