Thanks for Hiring Me. Also, I’m Pregnant.
So far I’ve been asked twice in the past two weeks on the Q&A section about how I handled my pregnancy with my job. So, I figured I’d use a whole blog post to answer it.
When I was hired as a middle school language arts teacher, I was ecstatic. I had been unemployed for six months, I was uninsured, and we were struggling with money (or lack of money…) every day. When my friend, Sarah, called and told me about the position that had become available at the middle school where she taught, I jumped at the chance to interview. After my interview, I was in Sarah’s classroom rehashing every question they’d asked and every answer I’d been given when the principal walked in and offered me the job. Right there on the spot. I was so relieved and happy that I started crying.
Little did I know, I was crying partly from relief and happiness but also because of hormones.
Two days later, I found out I was pregnant. And not just a few weeks pregnant. I was NINE WEEKS pregnant. Which meant I was due before school would be out for the summer. Which would mean in my first year teaching, I would be starting late (they hired me three weeks after the school year started) and then leaving early.
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! RIGHT HERE!
After I was hired, I had to go through all the drug testing, background screening, fingerprinting, and orientation that comes with becoming a government employee and so it would be several more weeks until I would be in the school. That meant I sat around waiting and worrying about what I was going to do. Did I tell my new boss and risk her either not bringing me on after all or possibly not bringing me back the next year? There are laws that protect pregnant women at their workplace and I know that. But there could have been a hundred different reasons they could have chosen to “not continue my employment.” And I was worried beyond belief. I needed this job not just for the paycheck, but for the medical insurance, too.
In the end, I decided to go tell my principal what had happened. I met with her privately and told her exactly what was going on – that I had found out two days after I was hired, that I was nine weeks pregnant, that I wouldn’t be able to finish the school year, but that I really wanted to come back to work the next year if she’d let me. My principal was really understanding – incredibly understanding. She told me that the first year she became a principal, she found out six weeks after her new appointment that she was pregnant unexpectedly. She laughed and said that she knew what panic felt like because of that experience. I could have kissed her.
I didn’t tell too many people at first. I definitely didn’t tell my students. I didn’t want to call attention to my little…situation…before I really had to. I wanted to meet people, get to know people, find my bearings before I let the cat out of the bag.
And then one day in my first period class, we were talking about the prefix “ultra” and I asked my students to give me examples of words using “ultra.” A few started giggling and I could tell something was up. Then one of the braver ones sheepishly raised his hand.
“Uh, Mrs. Brown? Would ultrasound be a word?”
“Yes, that’s an excellent example,” I said.
“Like, people get ultrasounds when they’re going to have a baby?” the student continued.
“Um…yes…” I said, starting to see where this was going.
“Uh…Mrs. Brown…have YOU had an ultrasound?”
And my class bust out laughing. I started laughing. And the cat was out of the bag. By the end of the day, all my students knew and so did most of the other teachers.
And you know what? I was BEYOND relieved! I hadn’t been able to put my pregnancy on my blog or tell too many people all because I was carrying around this big secret, but with that big secret revealed, my pregnancy became much more real and exciting.
Part of being pregnant is anxiety. It just comes with the territory. I blame the hormones. And the fact that you are GROWING A HUMAN BEING and that’s bound to bring about a lot of questions and nervousness and anxiety. That’s completely natural. I had it with Bean and I have it again now with New Guy. And out of all the reasons for anxiety during pregnancy, if you’re a working woman, your job is going to be at the top of your list. But after two pregnancies (both while working), I have learned that being honest, straight-forward, and frank with your employer is usually the right way to go. If only just for your own peace of mind.
13 Comments
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is
I’ve been wondering about this! I wondered if you knew when you were hired. I can’t imagine the stress!
Lisa
I wondered too! I’m so glad your principal was so understanding. That’s wonderful. And what a cute way for your students to spill the “beans” that they already knew! Thanks for posting!
Robin
I’ve never been pregnant but I imagine something like this is like when you are younger and you break the rules and you get really nervous about telling your parents but when you finally do, they are completely understanding. You worried yourself so much about it they realize that was punishment enough.
Lisa
I haven’t been pregnant yet but I’ve wondered the same thing about how an employer will handle the news. From what friends have told me about having babies, its never really the right time, but it happens when it happens so thankfully you were able to find a job with an understanding boss! Thanks for the post, it was very informative!
Astrid
I just told my boss today that I am pregnant. I was very nervous because I’ve only been at this particular location for less than two months, but she was thrilled to death and as supportive as can be, and you’re right, the anxiety has lifted somewhat for me. I’m still not ready to be “out” at work yet, but I’m glad that I was able to tell her at least.
Lori @ I Can Grow People
Short school year for you!
Because of the nature of my job, I told my co-workers ASAP about my pregnancy so they could help keep our work place safe for me and the baby who turned out to be Porter. It actually took a few days for me to tell my supervisor because she kept cancelling our meeting. Finally I wrote her an e-mail of all things because I just couldn’t take it anymore and needed her to know! I let the grads in my shop know right away. I wasn’t sure how’d they take it, but they were super excited–one of them even cried! So cute.
Jeanne
I am so glad everything turned out okay for you and that the anxiety is over. Plus your class is pretty funny.
Rhi
I’m scared enough to tell my employer of 2 years that I’m pregnant (I’m not now, I mean when the day comes), so I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been!
Alisha
I know EXACTLY how you felt, last fall I took a new job, and found out two days later I was 6 weeks pregnant. Nothing like starting a new job and requesting 8 week’s maternity leave! Turns out they were VERY supportive – it helped that I’d been very upfront during the interview process that we were “hoping” to get pregnant at some point in the near future. They even threw me a baby shower!
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
WOW. I was wondering about this myself. It’s a good thing you’re an honest person 🙂 I really think honesty will work wonders in most cases. I think it’s so funny how your students addressed it. It’s hilarious. Middle school is an interesting time in their lives.
megan
I had a similar experience. I was close to 5 months pregnant and so I knew before I applied, but I had been out of work for a while and needed to earn a little money before baby came. I decided to tell them after they offered me the job, and let them know that I would not work full-time after the baby came. Because of this they told me they wanted to find someone else, and I was OK with that. But they ended up needing me a few weeks later – they called one Monday afternoon and asked if I could start the very next day! I said no, but would start on Wednesday. For all my fear in breaking the news, it worked out ok.
Nicole
Thanks for your story on this. I am 15 weeks pregnant and my job ended two weeks ago, so now I am pregnant and beginning a job search. I have been worrying about how to handle this when I interview. I hate to lead with this kind of information and get weeded out right away, but I will also feel very uncomfortable holding back what is obviously extremely important information. I am glad to hear that everything worked out for you with your new job. Hopefully mine will work out as well.
Tabitha @ From Single to Married
Having been on the other end of that (the hiring part as HR Manager) I will say that we always appreciated knowing as soon as we could too. There are things that you have to check like whether pregnancy is considered pre-existing for the company’s insurance coverage and things particular to that job. We’ve had about six pregnant women at our company in the past year (myself included) and each time we, as a company, just said, “okay” and worked around it. Hopefully most companies are like that too.