I need to reach out to the men for a minute.
For some of you, you haven’t reached this point in your relationship quite yet. For others, this will be a battle that is long gone and forgotten about. But it is inevitable, this will happen to you at some point. When you move in with a woman, your going to have to fight for your belongings. I will say that there is usually a grace period. Sometimes this grace period is 5 minutes and sometimes its 5 years, but at some point the big discussion about YOUR stuff will happen.
Now some of you could be categorized in the small percentage of couples that have the same taste. I’m really not sure how that happens, but sometimes the stars align and two quirky people fall in love and combine their star wars collections into one magnificent super collection. However, this is a small percentage of you out there.
Typically what happens during the big move in, if your combining your stuff into a brand new place, the woman decides which of the man’s things can stay and which one’s need the boot. A few days ago I was talking to a co-worker who was saying that she recently moved into her boyfriend’s house and that she hates his huge brown leather reclining couch. For those of you in this situation, i’m sorry, but you have zero legal authority to make him get rid of that couch. You moved into his house, and until you get married or move to a new place, that stuff stays.
I would like to state though that some of these items need the boot. That six foot tall cardboard cutout of Britney Spears that you grabbed out of that grocery store and kept in your living room for 3 years, that probably needs to go. Sorry Britney.
Also, that inflatable Budweiser Chair with cup holders that has a matching eight foot tall inflatable goalpost that used to come in handy when solving roommate arguments… that can probably go too. These items need to go and it’s okay to let them go. You’re an adult now. You can pass these things along to a younger generation.
There are, however, items that get tossed out or packed into a closet that are arguably worth holding on to. This is where the epic battle begins. The fight over your possessions is one of the first fights you will have when living together for the first time. Things worth fighting for are things like your shot glass cabinet, your stereo equipment (which really has no place in this fight. Women have no say when it comes to anything dealing with the entertainment center), your frosty mugs, that jacket that you have worn everyday for the last 10 years, your tools, grilling equipment (also in the no discussion category), posters, house decor, bed lines, etc. Some of these will make it through and some of them you might have to part with.
With that said, if your lucky enough to acquire a man cave in your new place, it’s all yours! Let your lady do whatever she wants with the house and you can take all of your stuff to your man cave, which she has no say in. This is really the best case scenario.
The reason I bring all of this up is that during the last month or so, while we have been getting settled in the new place, I discovered a box of lost treasures. These beauties.
These were lost in my battle. Honestly I was focused on some of my other valuables and these were quietly tucked away while someone was unpacking the kitchen (this someone shall remain nameless). They have been packed away for years and almost completely forgotten about. When I found them, I flashed back to that day and decided that it had been long enough! I was bringing these bad boys back! Move over Tupperware, I need some space! And you know what, this was the best decision I have made in a long time. Kate likes using these “cute”, themed, plastic cups. We have been using them for years, and they were fine… only because I forgot how great it felt to hold a real pint glass!
Listen up guys. I’m calling on you today to find that box of lost treasures. Pull out your pint glasses and make space in the cabinet! Take back some of your man-hood, and don’t settle for cute plastic cups anymore. You deserve a nice heavy frosty mug. One word of advice though, your lady will try to fight back. Example A: Katie yells from the kitchen one evening, “OH NO! one of your glasses “broke” in the sink!”
Touche, wife of mine… Touche.