Pregnancy Brain Farts

The day before Thanksgiving while Bean was at daycare and Chris was at work, I was in my kitchen baking biscuits to use in my dad’s stuffing recipe.  I put the biscuits in the oven and then sat down to make my grocery list because I had forgotten to buy a few things.  When my list was finished, I grabbed my purse and my keys, threw on some shoes, and ran up to the grocery store.  When I pulled into the parking lot, it was naturally packed since it was the day before Thanksgiving.  And I thought to myself, “I don’t have time for this!  I have biscuits in the oven!”

OH MY GOD!  I HAVE BISCUITS IN THE OVEN!

I went flying back to my house, tires literally screeching, and dashed into my kitchen.  Thankfully, we don’t live far from the grocery store, but still.  PREGNANCY BRAIN FART #1

Then a couple days ago, I posted a new product review to my Blogher review page (don’t forget to enter to win a $100 gift card for HasbroToy.com AND a free Weebles gift pack, by the way…) and I completely forgot to tell anyone that the post was up.  So for days it sat there with no traffic and no comments and I was like, “What the crap is going on here?”  And then I realized.  Duh.  Nobody knew it was over there.  PREGNANCY BRAIN FART #2.

Then yesterday I was teaching in one of my classes and there was this kid who never, ever pays attention and I saw him gazing off into space.  So I called on him to answer a question.  Because I’m the teacher that likes to call on the kids who aren’t paying attention.

“Jeffrey,” I said.  “Can you answer the question?”

(silence)

“Jeffrey?”

(silence)

“JEFFREY!”

And then this polite little girl in the front row whispered to me, “Mrs. Brown?  We don’t have anyone in this class named Jeffrey.”

And that’s when I realized that I had no clue what this kid’s name was.  None.  It’s like I went away for Thanksgiving and lost all memory of this one random kid. PREGNANCY BRAIN FART #3.

So today, I’m in the same exact class and we’re doing another class activity and that same kid is staring off into space again.

“Jeffrey?” I called.

And then kids started kind of giggling.

“JEFFREY!” I snapped.

“Uh, Mrs. Brown?” says the polite girl again.  “We still don’t have anyone in this class named Jeffrey.”

PREGNANCY BRAIN FART #4.

This is your brain:

Photo 226

This is your brain when you’re pregnant:

Photo 228

Any questions?

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43 Thoughts to “Pregnancy Brain Farts”

  1. Ah, I needed a laugh today! Thank you! My only problem is that I have many a brain fart and having nothing like your excuse.

  2. Haha! Love the grapes & jelly demonstration and wish I was in your “jeffery” class!

  3. Oh dear lord, that is too funny…you should just start calling this kid Jeffrey just for fun 🙂

  4. Lisa

    His parents obviously named him the wrong name!

  5. Man, I’m already scattered – I’m scared what I’ll be like when I’m pregnant!

    Sorry your brain is doing this to you, but thank you for the laugh today! I needed it!

  6. Maybe next time you call him Jeffrey he’ll just give up and answer! Just say it’s his new nickname. haha

  7. oh.my.god. totally snorting over here. That is hilarious about the kid named Jeffery!

    And I gotta say, it never really comes back. I used to have a much larger vocabulary before I became a mom. Those words are lost in space or something because they never came back!

  8. So I am guessing baby number 3 will be a boy named Jeffery!

  9. I too, am a teacher, and have issues with kids’ names all the time. I still mix up the names of kids who I have known (and taught) for the last two years. Unfortunately, I don’t have pregnancy as an excuse….

  10. HAHAHA!!! Too funny! And I don’t think it’s a pregnancy thing…. I do that kind of thing all the time 🙂

  11. Uh oh. If my brain already resembles jelly, when I’m preggers I’m in trouble!

  12. I hate to say it, but I’m pretty sure that the brain farts get more frequent post-baby…and exponentially so. With baby number one, you may have x amount of brain farts. With baby number 2, you will likely have x amount, squared. Along comes number three, and the brain farts are off the charts (but you can still bust a rhyme!). Once, I went to take out my contacts, opened the case on both sides, tossed the old solution out and then went to get my contacts out of my eyes. I ran into my glasses. That’s because I had already taken my contacts out earlier in the evening. Oh, and I had just tossed them into the sink along with the “old” solution. That is just one story of many. See? You are not alone. 🙂

  13. Oh that’s awesome. I was laughing so hard my husband paused his star wars game and made me read this too him. Now we’re both cracking up. A few more weeks and I’ll be having those moments. I think pregnancy brain starts when morning sickness stops.

  14. Karen

    HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

  15. Kristin

    Haha. Jeffrey is the new Bueller!

  16. I’m laughing because two years ago I had the same problem. I also had post pregnancy brain farts for about 9 months after. I’m not sure I didn’t give some of my brain away during pregnancy and never get it back! He, he…I hope you have better luck than me 🙂

  17. Oh man, my short-term memory sucks anyway, but when I was pregnant, it was practically non-existent. I withdrew our last $50 from an ATM to get groceries, and didn’t realise until I was at the checkout that I’d left the cash in the machine. Somone had, of course, taken it when I went back, and I went home and cried. Now I just use my card at the checkout. … And I wouldn’t be surprised if ‘Jeffrey’ finds himself with a new nickname from now on. 😛

  18. Laughing hysterically right now. LOVE the Jeffrey story. Everytime I call a student by the wrong name (which happens fairly often with all the Kaylees, Katies, and Kaylas), they are allowed to call me by the wrong name.

  19. Ashley

    Hahaha, this is great! It’s always great when you can laugh at yourself, you know?

  20. Jen C

    this is so true! i have goldfish memory the past few months. its slowly driving my husband insane. i love the last two pictures 🙂

  21. Sarah H.

    Me too girl, me too. Here’s my story. So Last week sometime I decided I needed to get my eyebrows waxed. I do it about every 3 weeks, and its $8 spent that makes me feels good. I hate plucking; it just hurts so darn much. So anyway it had been a while (past 3 weeks) and I kept saying after work I’m going to run over to the salon and get this done.” That happened last Monday, Tuesday, AND Wednesday. Each night I’d go home, eat dinner and at 6:30pm as I was settled all comfy on the couch I’d say” OH NO I was supposed to go to the salon after work and I forgot!!” I didn’t even try to go on Thursday because it was a holiday but on Friday I went out shopping with my Mom and sister for an hour or so and my sister promised me we would stop by a salon and I’d get my eyebrows done—we get home, look at each other and realize shoot…..my eyebrows are still furry. Except no one would agree with me! To me they were bad; to my Mom and my sister “they looked fine.” My sister tells me she’s too tired to take my back out and I didn’t have my own car to go . Dang it. Saturday I was busy ALL day and on Sunday I knew they were closed. SO Monday I told people at work to remind me to go–I was chanting it all dayeyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows… So Monday I’m all proud of myself, I roll up to the salon and GUESS WHAT? I totally forgot they’re closed on Monday’s too. AHHHH. Geeze. So on Tuesday I went. They were open. I got it done. All is well. Thank God!

  22. Amy

    Those babies just suck the smart right out of you when you’re pregnant. I can’t even count how many times I used Pregnancy Brain as an excuse for some stupid mistake I made at work.

  23. El

    I am in the same boat! This pregnancy has increased the brain farts exponentially! I feel so stupid sometimes. Luckily, they are usually stupid little things like putting things in the wrong places!

  24. lissa

    alvin…..

    alvin….

    ALVIN!!!

  25. Tressa

    To funny!! and cute!! I’m thinkin that kid needs to learn to answer to Jeffery!! But he better not take Jeffery’s report card!!! LOL Maybe this is all due to you becoming another year OLDER SOON?!?!?!?!

  26. Ann G-B

    Oh how I remember those days! I had lists after lists after lists just trying to function in my job!

  27. Last night I wanted a drink so I went to the cabinet and grabbed – a bowl. Oy! I’d love to blame it on pregnancy but at only 5ish weeks, I dunno if I can yet!

  28. Jenn

    I so needed to laugh out loud this morning, hilarious!!!

  29. Shelley

    A picture is indeed worth a thousand words!
    Too funny!

  30. Poor, poor Jeffrey. I’m sure he’s off, in a distant classroom, just waiting for some teacher to start paying attention to him. Sadly, he’s been terribly confused with this other boy.

    Now both will be forced to spend their lives in obscurity.

  31. I am right there with you sister!! I put all the food out on the table for Thanksgiving and everyone was dishing up, I was staring at the gravy and it hit me… I forgot to make the mashed potatoes. Pregnancy brain is a total bust… I am not nearly as productive or smart as I once was.

  32. Amy

    1. If this is what I have to look forward to in pregnancy, I’m gonna be a goner because…

    2. I do this all the time anyway.

    I’m doomed.

  33. Maybe you should invest in name tags. HAHAH!

  34. Jennifer

    Thanks for the laugh!!!!

  35. This post made me laugh so hard I cried! I can only imagine how you responded to your students after you were told there wasn’t a Jefferey, especially the second time! 🙂 Thanks for the laugh, and your right about your brain and pregnancy!

  36. Sarah

    Oh My God… this is hysterical. Thank you for sharing this. Funniest thing I’ve heard all day. “Jeffrey!”

  37. I totally did not believe this whole “pregnancy brain” thing until I experienced it myself. For a couple of months people kept telling me, “Oh you forgot because of the pregnancy brain” and I was like, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Then around the 5th month strange things started happening. Like the time I came to work wearing two different flip flops (as in different color and all!) or the time I went out to my car after work to go home and stood there for about 5 minutes trying to figure out why things felt ‘off’ until I realized that I didn’t have my car keys and therefore couldn’t get in the car. And that was just the beginning. So I feel for ya. Have you got the pregnancy hands yet? I have had to replace 3 different eye shadows because I keep dropping them. For no reason.

  38. Preach is sista!!!

    I was a lunatic when I was pregnant and of course…when I would forget something that involved a friend that had never been pregnant they would say…oh, your pregnant, you forgot didn’t you…in a sarcastic kind of “that doens’t really happen to pregnant people” kind of way! And it does…it SOOOO does!!

    🙂

    Megan

  39. LOL. I just had to let that out. Hee hee.
    Suzanne

  40. Amy

    Don’t feel bad, PREGNANCY BRAIN FART #1 happens to me all the time and I’m not even pregnant. hahaha

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