Last week I asked my sister to guest blog on MC. She’s actually a really great writer and her perspectives on life, marriage, love, and family are so fresh and relatable that I thought you all would appreciate them, too. Ginny and her husband, John Michael, were married last April (see posts about her wedding here, here, here, here, and here) and since then have been living in southern Virginia where he was transferred through his job. It looks like they’ll be moving again somewhere this summer, but that is all up in the air right now. What I’ve loved about watching the first year of their marriage is how much they lean on each other for support through uncertain times, but at the same time they have both stayed true to who they are as individuals. I think that’s a lesson that any married couple needs to learn and I’m so proud of them for learning it this early in their marriage.
Hello. I’m Kate’s sister, Ginny. She’s spoken about me from time to time on here so I feel as though we’re already dear friends. Or dear imaginary friends as Kate would say.
I was asked to write a guest post this week. And, as much as I love the idea of the spotlight, I hurriedly agreed. But then I sat down to write and nothing came to mind. I don’t live an extraordinary life. And I don’t do extraordinary things. And then I took a minute to appreciate the fact that Katie can write on this blog every day with entertaining and witty content about her ordinary day-to-day life. That sister of mine has talent, I tell ya. So, I thought I’d tell you a bit about my first year as a newlywed.
My lovah, John Michael, and I were betrothed last April in what I’d like to think of as the most beautiful wedding of all times. (We should go ahead and establish that I’m not modest.)
We had moved in together the year before, shortly after our engagement. John Michael’s job had just decided to relocate him to a small town nestled in the hills of the Appalachians to build a hospital for two years (he’s a general contractor). Being completely in love and willing to do anything to avoid a five hour gap in our relationship, I didn’t hesitate to move with him. In a span of exactly two weeks (the only notice we had to make the decisions!), I quit my beloved job, packed up our stuff and headed for the hills – literally.
The first year in the small town was so wonderful and so awful all at the same time. The move was wonderful because when we left Atlanta we left all these unnecessary distractions. We no longer had to feel guilty about spending a night at home together instead of out at the latest hot spot with our friends. And we really were able to concentrate on each other and grow and settle into our relationship. I love the time we’ve been able to spend together here.
The hardest part of the move however, has been finding me again. We moved here for John Michael’s job. The only people we knew in this town were John Michael’s co-workers. And John Michael was the only one contributing financially. I’d always been such an independent person in Atlanta – successful job, lots of friends – but here I was without any of those things to call my own.
But that’s the greatest thing about marriage – you’re never really alone. John Michael never once felt as if I was being selfish or unreasonable (though at times I probably was). He worked just as hard, sometimes harder, than me to carve out a life for myself. We joined a social group so I could find some friends for myself. From that wonderful group, I was able to find a job that I love. And now I’m contributing financially to our lives and I like that feeling. I even started my own company with Mary Kay so that I could always have my own business venture, no matter where we may move next.
So often in the first few years of marriage the €˜me’ gets lost in the €˜we’. And to a great extent it should. You’re no longer living for yourself, but as a couple. But, I’ve found that just because your priority is your marriage doesn’t mean that you have to neglect to find happiness for yourself.
John Michael and I have another great move coming up in the next few months. And, like our last move, we aren’t sure when or where we’ll be going next. But, because we’ve spent our first year of marriage establishing ourselves – both individually and together – I know the next adventure will be just as great€¦. though I’d like to request somewhere without the snow.