Remember that time I went to my sister’s wedding and two days before the wedding, I ended up in the hospital? That whole weird episode turned out to be a spasm in my back. Not death trying to attack me, like I thought. To give you some kind of indication what that pain level is like, the week of my sister’s wedding, I passed out and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. It is extremely painful. Extremely.
Fortunately, I haven’t had another episode like that since. But Monday morning as I was getting ready for work, I leaned across our washing machine to unplug our iron and – BOOM! Down I went. My back started to spasm. It just freezes you in your tracks. Literally. I can’t move my arms or anything when it happens and so I was stuck there in the laundry room for 10 minutes while this pain shot through my back and down my arms. When I was finally able to move again, I slowly made my way back to Chris in our bedroom and he got me down on my heating pad where I sat for 30 minutes trying to get my back to unfreeze. I was a little late to work and I had to teach from a chair all day, but by that afternoon I was feeling a little looser and a little better.
I must not have been as healed as I thought though because this morning it happened AGAIN! I was lifting Bean up to his changing table and – BOOM! Down I went. Thank goodness Chris was close by to catch Bean or else he would have fallen. Thankfully, I had a 1/2 day at work today because I had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, but I taught again today from my chair. And if you’ve ever tried to maintain control of a room full of middle schoolers while sitting in a chair, you know how much that sucks. So, I hobbled in to my doctor this afternoon and begged for mercy. And mercy came! She gave me a prescription for a mild muscle relaxer to use the next time my back seizes up like that and she referred me to a physical therapist to help teach me how to untwist my back when it spasms. And she recommended that I get a prenatal massage soon. I’m not a big massage fan, but at this point I’ll try anything.
The one thing that she said that bummed me out was that I needed to stop picking up Bean. I had sort of figured that out on my own already, but it was a downer hearing my doctor tell me how important it was that I not pick him up anymore. This morning I couldn’t pick him up when I dropped him off at daycare and he was so upset that he wouldn’t even tell me goodbye when I left. Then when I picked him up from daycare and I couldn’t pick him up again, he threw himself on the ground and pitched a fit. I know how he feels. I hate not being able to scoop him up for a big hug at the end of the day, but my back just can’t handle it anymore. It will be a big adjustment for me AND for Bean, but it’s just part of growing up, I guess. Big dude is having to learn to stand on his own two feet. Literally. I hate it, but it is what it is, I guess.
It is Wednesday night as I write this and I’ve already put in for substitute for tomorrow. My back just needs a break. I’m going to take Bean to daycare, come home, take a muscle relaxer, and sleep on my heating pad all day. I’m hoping a full day of R&R will help get me back on my feet again.
I really hate this part of pregnancy. I remember it with Bean, too. It’s that point where you physically can’t do the things you want or need to do. You physically HAVE to slow down and change your behaviors. I hate that. I feel so helpless and I feel especially bad for Chris who then has to pick up my slack even more than normal because I physically cannot help with simple tasks anymore. This is the part of the pregnancy where I start crying frantically. Like this morning when I got all the way to school after my back spasm and then burst into tears in the parking lot of my school and had to call Chris. When he asked what was wrong, all I could do was sob, “I hate being p-p-p-pregnant!!!”
Good news! Only 9 weeks left!
Because I’m vertically challenged tonight, I can’t take any pictures to share with you. So instead, I have a video to hold you all over. This is Bean on our drive home from my parent’s house last weekend. At this point in the evening, he’s had approximately 2,046 cookies. Keep that in mind.
Today I am grateful for Chris. And my doctor. And muscle relaxers.