TV Time Out
I’m not one of those mom’s who keeps vigilant watch over how many minutes or hours of TV Bean watches. As long as he has more hours doing active, creative, stimulating things than he does in front of the TV, I’m generally okay.
Enter Pixar.
When we first started letting Bean watch movies, we went with Disney. He liked them all, but he really liked the Pixar ones. I think he liked the pictures better. He instantly took to Finding Nemo. Then he moved on to Cars. And then came Toy Story. And our lives have never been the same. Bean loves Buzz and “Woo Woo” more than life itself. He sleeps on Toy Story sheets. He plays with Toy Story toys. He listens to the Toy Story soundtrack. But his favorite are the Toy Story movies. In fact, he’s such a fan that he can tell us which one he wants to watch.
“Toy ‘Tory Tee!” (That’s Toy Story Three, for those of you who don’t speak Bean.)
Even with his obsession, we’ve tried to limit how much TV time Bean gets with the movies. Mostly, it’s just something to distract him when we’re trying to get something done. But lately, I’ve caught myself putting it on more often for him. It’s just so darn convenient! I think I justified it to myself because I didn’t just sit him down in front of the TV and then walk away. I always sit with him. And after a long day on my feet at work, I always welcome the chance to sit on the couch and snuggle with my Beaner. Even if he isn’t aware of our quality time because Buzz and Woo Woo are on the TV.
But in the past couple weeks that Bean has been sick, I’ve become really aware of exactly how often we have the television on. Bean couldn’t do too much, so getting him to chill out and rest up on the couch was always easier with a little television enticement. After he’s gotten better though, Bean still wants to watch TV. All the time. He doesn’t even really sit through the movie anymore. He just wants it to be on so that he has something to entertain him when he’s passing through.
And that realization led me to start paying attention to how much Chris and I have the television on. Surely, Bean’s learning this behavior somewhere and when I really paid attention, it was clear he was learning it from us. We’re just like Bean. We don’t necessarily watch the TV but it is usually on and when it’s on, it’s easy to get distracted by it. Now, I’m not opposed to TV or against it. But when we COULD be doing other things with our time and instead we’re choosing TV simply because it’s on, well then it’s time to turn it off.
So, Saturday morning I announced we were having a TV-free weekend. Bean protested quite loudly for the first hour. We play our music through our TV and so when I turned on the TV to play some music, Bean immediately thought that I was turning on a movie. And when no movie came on, he started to get a little frantic.
Thankfully, we had plans for Saturday morning and early afternoon and so that got us out of the house. Out of sight, out of mind, and the TV was forgotten. But the minute we walked back in the house…
Total devastation.
So, Chris and I decided to distract Bean by taking him outside for a while. We played out in the backyard together as a family for over an hour – something I don’t think we’ve ever done.
Bean and Chris played airplanes…
And Bean showed us how to spin…
It was a beautiful afternoon and Chris decided that he was going to wash his car. Normally, Chris does this by himself but since we were all trying to keep busy without the easy entertainment of the TV, Bean and I decided to go with him. So, we all moved into the garage and driveway.
Bean loved helping.
But after a while, he decided it was time to wash his own car.
And after he washed his car, he wanted to wash his SUV.
We spent all afternoon outside and while that’s not necessarily something new for us, it was new that we spent that much time together outside. And it was awesome. Chris and I kept telling each other what a great idea this no TV thing was and how we should do it more often.
Jump ahead 12 hours.
I woke up this morning to find Chris and Bean sitting on the couch watching morning cartoons together. And then when I got on to them, the attitude came out.
Chris was pissed. He was so angry that he couldn’t just sit on the couch and relax.
“I don’t want to do chores!” he huffed.
“Who said anything about chores?” I asked.
“Well, there’s nothing else to do!”
At first, I thought he was being ridiculous. How pathetic were we that we couldn’t do one weekend without a TV? But the more Sunday wore on, the more I realized that he was kind of right. It takes EFFORT to be that active! Without the TV, it was hard to just sit around. We were on the go all day long in order to keep busy. We went to church, we went out to lunch, we drove out to the other side of town to look at some neighborhoods we had heard about – and it was still only 1:00!!
When we got home from running around, Bean was starting to get bored and since it was so beautiful outside again we decided to head out the backyard for another day. This time, Chris brought his golf clubs and whiffle balls.
Bean thought this was an EXCELLENT way to spend the afternoon!
I guess he was having so much fun that he suddenly wanted Buzz and Woo Woo to be part of the festivities because in the middle of a golf swing, he took off to the house…
…and came back out with his buddies.
Turns out, Buzz and Woo Woo aren’t so much the golfing type. So, they all ended up in Bean’s school bus instead.
We stayed outside all afternoon and didn’t come in until it started to get dark and chilly outside. It was a great day.
I’m almost embarrassed to tell you how hard it was for us to go for one weekend without TV. It’s not that we watch all that much TV, really, but it is usually always on in the background and I was surprised to find how much of an adjustment it was to be without it. It really makes me stop and think about how we’re spending our “quality time” together and how quality that time really is if there’s a TV on – even in the background.
I certainly won’t be canceling our cable contract or selling off all our televisions any time soon, but this little experiment this weekend did change some things about how we want to and will function as a family. I’ll probably still leave Sesame Street on in the mornings while I’m trying to get ready for work and Chris and I will sit together on the couch and watch Modern Family every Wednesday night. But I think we’ll be paying a little more attention to the activities that we choose to spend our time on as a family. A romp in the backyard together every now and then is good for all of us…
*****
Today I am grateful that I’ve been lucky enough to celebrate 12 Valentine’s Days with my one and only sweetheart and that each one gets better and better.
40 Comments
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
It’s definitely hard to give up tv! You never realize how much you rely on it until you give it up. But it’s great that you guys want to incorporate more tv free time into your family life.
Liss
No TV is great. We actually went six months without one at all, when we needed to use it as a computer monitor. I didn’t miss it, and found it a little abrasive when we eventually got it back, so mostly we only use it for playing DVDs on the odd rainy day. Growing up in a household where the TV was always on (and being back in that household temporarily) I can really vouch for how much calmer I feel without it. I’m with you on the effort it takes to keep occupied, too – I couldn’t even guess at how many hours we’ve spent in any park and playground we can find. Sometimes I just drive and hope to find something interesting to do! Good luck with future TV-free activities, I think it’s a great move. 🙂
David Pearson
Last year I did an experiment for class. I kept track of how long I used media for one week. It really scared me when I saw the results. It made me really aware and I think that’s most of the battle. Good work!
Alaina
I think that’s great – we spend so much time watching TV, too…maybe a TV free weekend is just the thing we need, too!
Eliz@The Sweet Life
You really highlight the challenge–TV is easy and kids love it while being active/playing a lot takes much more energy, especially for parents! Good luck in your quest for balance.
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
Ah! It looks like you guys had so much fun! Good call on getting Buzz and Woo Woo in on the fun, Bean!
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
I’ve wanted to do something like that for a while, even for just a day, but my family (eh hem… husband) hate the idea.
Lori @ I Can Grow People
We haven’t been doing an experiment but we have been trying to save money, so we have been slowly scaling back on television since Porter was born. We have no cable–we went from the having a huge digital cable package to just an antenna now. And Netflix–which Porter has learned can provide him almost anything he wants to watch at anytime (which is sometimes problematic, but now we just tell him it isn’t time for TV and he deals with it.) Since moving to PA, we have gotten a lot better about not having the tv on just for ambient filler. We let Porter watch something in the morning at breakfast and then maybe something before bed. On weekends we watch PBS kid stuff in the morning. And this weekend marked the first time Porter has ever sat down and watched a movie. Yes, I miss having The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and all of that delicious reality show junk that airs on Bravo and VH1–but my life is more productive without it. And if I really want to watch those things, I find them online.
Oh and you guys are lucky because you can all play outside right now. It has been too cold and icy for us to do that, so mall playplaces allow P to run out some energy while getting us all out of the house.
KT
I try to limit my older children’s TV time during the week…on school nights, they can watch TV only after homework, outside play time, dinner, baths and all chores are done…that usually leaves less than an hour of TV per night. My older ones are 8 and 11 – and no TV is a hard concept for them to grasp. I have lightened up a bit – I used to have a NO TV DURING THE WEEK rule…that was hard. But I found that instead of helping matters, it only made them worse! After no TV for 5 days, all they wanted to do on the weekend was watch TV! So, hence the week night TV hour…works well, they don’t feel deprived and I don’t feel guilty that they are spending too much time in front of the tube! Some other ideas for TV free activities – BOARD GAMES!! Bean may be a bit young, but there are several 2-4 year old games you can start playing with him to introduce the concept. My kids STILL love to make forts in their bedrooms! And reading – we have a rule in our house that the kids have to read 30-45 minutes every day…no matter what. I started this when they were young enough to sit and be read to – granted it was maybe 3 10 minute reading sessions, but they were getting it! And now I never have to remind them to do their reading. My 8 year old loves to read before bed, several times I have found him with a flash light under his covers AFTER I have tucked him in! 🙂
Rachel @ dreamingofthecountry
You’re not alone in this! We don’t have a TV so I watch stuff over the internet but I still spend way too much time watching shows or just surfing the web.
It’s a good idea – maybe I’ll try a computer free day soon.
Courtney
Don’t feel guilty, I’m pretty sure we are all about the same way. I didn’t let me son watch t.v. until he was almost two, however. It was the elementary school teacher coming out in me. So as much as I love the t.v. on, I do my best not to turn it on unless there is a reason. My husband loves to turn on the t.v. and then watch youtube on his computer. Um, could we have a little more noise please? Thankfully, my son will usually watch one movie and then say “I’m done”. He’s really good at playing and entertaining himself. I didn’t teach him this – it’s just his personality.
Katy @ MonsterProof
I’m terrified, but I’m planning on giving up my control of the remote for lent. What that means, is that there won’t be mindless tv-watching during the day, and if it gets turned on at night, it’s up to my husband, and will likely be something I don’t care too much about. Impressed by your tv-free weekend!
Life of a Doctor's Wife
I love TV. And I can imagine that it would be difficult to give up while at home, because it’s such a habit! Of course, when I’m visiting my parents (no TV) or am in a hotel for a weekend for work or interviews, I don’t miss the TV at all.
Nikki
We really try to limit our TV use too. When we get home we will just turn on the radio or fire up Pandora. It’s amazing how productive we can be. After a few hours I will freak out and say I just want to relax with a good show, dang it! If we do have the TV on we try to watch the Science Channel, National Geographic, and stuff like that so it doesn’t seem as bad!
Meghan
Keep at it; breaking the TV habit is like breaking any other habit….takes perseverance and a “detox” period. When you wrote that you had to stay busy so you didn’t default to watching TV…….as you turn it on less and less, you’ll find that that need goes away. We watch very little TV in our house, and I love the quiet and/or quiet music. We have no problem just chilling without the TV on….I don’t say that to make you feel bad, just to let you know that you will eventually get used to not having the TV on all the time if you keep at it. And when you have 2 kids…..well, I just can’t take anymore background noise with my 2 boys providing all the noise of two happy, playing kids.
Jordy
I think this is a great idea… even with just me and my husband, we also need a TV Time Out sometimes. There are times where we are sitting on the couch watching a show that neither of us are interested in, but it’s just ON, and I’ll stop and demand the TV be turned off. Sure, there are shows we like watching, but I can’t stand when the TV is on just to be on. Sometimes quiet is nice and gives us an excuse to get off the couch and go do something. 🙂
Michelle @ Mambo Gook
I think this experiment was such a great idea! I know I watch way too much TV because it’s either that or sleep or find something productive to do with my free time (the little of it that I have) and that requires so much energy! But it looks like you all had so much fun quality time with each other and I’m sure Bean loved having the two of you playing with him all weekend!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
It’s so easy to slip out of good habits when you or your kiddos are sick. Meal times, sleep routines, TV time – all of it goes right out the window. I’m impressed that you put so much effort into getting back on track.
Sandy
a couple of years ago i implemented a no tv on tuesdays and thursdays rule. mostly it was so our son could catch up and concentrate on his school work. and of course tv is the first thing to go when a punishment is needed (too bad that x-box needs a tv too work =0) the down side is that when the tv is off our son turns to us for entertainment. so that whole punishment thing kinda backfires! (and none of this would be possible if i couldn’t rely on the internet to catch up on tv shows i miss!)
Carla
I have a 28month old son who LOVES Toy Story (All 3 of them) & Cars, & Finding Nemo etc… (Basically the kid adores anything from Pixar) We to have had to cut back on TV becasue it seemed to be getting out of control. Now we have no TV on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, & Thursdays. Both my hubby & I work so when I pick up our son there are only 3-4 hours to spend with him before bedtime. No TV just a few nights a week has been a wonderful way to introduce fun actvities & teach him new games.
Leslie Sundmyhr
I think this is really great. It’s good to notice how you spend your day to day. I’ve never really watched TV. My family didn’t watch tv aside from the occasional movie and so as an adult I don’t watch it at all. My husband and I might watch a movie when the baby goes to bed but that’s about it. When I go to someone’s house and they leave the TV on all the time it is really distracting. We definitely need to spend less time on our computers. Laptops make it too esay to just sit wherever and be on the computer. Good for you Katie and family.
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
Um this is amazing. I don’t think my family could last an hour without TV. I mentioned tot he hubs that I think Peanut shouldn’t watch TV regularly until she is 2 years old and he flipped out because it meant that the TV would have to be off during the day. Sheeeeeesh
Katie
We are going through the same exact thing right now! Logan got sick and watched movies at home with Daddy all day and now he’s a TV monster. My husband refuses to not watch TV. It is definitely a struggle in my household.
Window On The Prairie
My husband and I have a TV, but no cable or satellite. We do watch the occasional movie from Netflix, but that’s it. And we love it. It’s so peaceful, and we get so much done. We talk, laugh, and communicate. It was hard to give up tv at first but we’ve never regretted it. Most of all we don’t miss being chained to a box and it controlling our lives. We feel like we’re living as opposed to just existing in front of the tv. Suzanne
Megan @ Red Dirt and Crazy
I do this occasionally but just for the day. Although lately since Farm Boy has been working a lot of overtime I have found that I am turning it on more often for Q-Tip so I can get dinner together and things like that. I hadn’t thought too much about it until now. Once again…thanks for this post! I have always been pretty careful about it until recently.
🙂
Megan
Rebecca
I used to never watch tv. It’s pretty easy when you don’t have cable. But my husband is a HUGE tv watcher, and so by default, I’ve become one too. Some evenings of our week are completely dedicated to tv…like Tuesdays. We’ve talked about cutting back when Zoe gets older because I definitely want her active ! It’s just so easy to get sucked in!
Carrie T
We have the TV all the time. My husband even has to have it on during the night which after 5 years of living together is still hard to adjust too. But you’re right. I have a TV in the kitchen and I have it on but it’s really just background noise. I would prefer a radio to a TV though.
Modern Family is one of our favorites too and I am loving Mike & Molly on Monday nights.
Casper
I am with you. We tend to have the TV on most of the time. Even it is just for a background noise. We do watch quiet a few shows though. Thursday nights we have four shows recording! I am wondering how this will change when the little one comes along.
Amy
We don’t even have our TV plugged in, we can only watch DVD’s. I can honestly say my son didn’t watch a single hour of television until he was 18 months old…and I got pregnant. Cue much TV- it’s such a great thing to distract your toddler from the fact you are vomiting your guts up in the toilet few meters away (otherwise he joins you and starts commenting- not nice).
Then the flooding in Qld hit, and it rained for two weeks straight- cue the TV again! Once you start, it’s so hard to stop.
Tressa
I could live without TV. Wouldn’t be able to guess that by the quantity of them that I own! LOL That’s all due to my husband though. Honestly, I do not know how to run our TV or surround sound remotes! Now music, SOMEONE IS GETTING HURT IF I DO NOT HAVE MY MUSIC!!! 🙂 Thank goodness my husband is pretty good at getting his honey do’s done before sitting down to the TV. Hard to discipline a 44 year old 😉
Lindsey
I’m proud of you guys! Our tv actually broke last weekend so we’ve been getting creative!
Renee
I have tried to cut TV and computer time, but there’s nothing to do! Especially in the frozen tundra. So, what am I doing? Watching TV and catching up on MC. I’m not doing too well with this endeavor.
Regina
This is really hard- we don’t have cable or satellite, but have netflix and hulu streaming, so there are plenty of things to watch. My youngest is 2 1/2, and right now she is the battle, because she always wants to watch something, and usually I let her watch a movie during the day so I can get something done. (her favorite, also “toy torie tree”. My older 2 were similar, and as they got older, it got easier, they became interested in other things. But I would definitely keep up with trying to at least limit it, my boys both play outside all the time and are so active, and are also both very good readers, which is really helping them now that they are in school- I am not sure they would be as much if they were always in front of the TV. It is a constant battle!
Mayde
I never thought I could live without TV, until our cable bill soared to almost $100/month (not including internet or home phone). That’s when my husband and I decided to cut the cord, and I’m so glad we did! We now use Hulu and Netflix to keep up with our favorite shows, but no longer have the TV on as background noise. In the last few weeks since we’ve made this decision, I’ve found myself being much more productive, getting more sleep, and getting out of the house more. I’m glad you and your family got a chance to spend some quality time together without the TV for a weekend. It does the body good!
Erin
We are living parallel lives right now- this reminds me so much of my family! I am pregnant and have a 2 year old ( I just live in washington state) 🙂 anyway- we are the same way! I try and limit it but like you the tv just seems to always be on. I can really relate to needing a break to sit down and that is hard to do without tv on. Good for you guys for turning it off all weekend!
Jennifer
Cable is one of those things I don’t think I’d ever be able to cut out unless we were desperate. However even when I am home on the weekends, the TV is always on even if I am not watching anything in particular. When we first moved into the house, for the first couple weeks we still had our TV at the apartment and I just had my little radio. So much more productive because there was nothing to distract me. In my fantasy life that I have created in my head I am fixing dinner at night to soothing music in my kitchen. Maybe one night I should actually try it lol.
Sarah
very lovely post. I am the same way. hopefully i will be able to cut tv way down before i have kids:) those pics are so cute!
laurenbtrain
AMEN. we dont have cable and i dont mind only having 7 channels…its less to tempt me with. i still watch the bachelor and modern family, but i dont feel the need to have it on all the time because we dont have anything to acutally watch! i have a 5 month old and she is MESMERIZED by the tv. it freaks me out how obsessed she can get while staring at it so i rarely, i mean RARELY turn it on for her. good for yall for making the effort and getting out of the house!
HeatherM
We also have TV but no cable. I basically made that call because I’m willing to allow SOME tv into our home, but not constant TV. The other thing we just got that I LOVE is a DVR. This way we record our shows that we really want to watch, and then can save our evenings for dinner and time with each other, and when we are ready to watch TV, there is something we WANT to watch, even if it’s 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. I feel strongly that we will not plan our lives around the TV schedule in this day and age, and instead we will make the TV schedule fit around our lives.
Mom of 3
Other ideas to keep Bean busy inside: playdoh, puzzles with wooden knobs or floor puzzles, Duplo blocks, wooden blocks, shape sorter, coloring with crayons. When my kids were little I put the tv on while I showered and got ready, now that they are a bit bigger we have a no tv on weekdays rule (which I bend on occassion). It’s hard sometimes but without a “rule” I find that they try to argue with me about it. If it’s the “rule” then it’s just accepted.