After All These Years

Did you know Chris is a music fanatic?  Well, he is.  He loves all music.  He appreciates the artistry.  He isn’t musical himself, but he understands it.  He gets music in ways that most people just don’t.  He hears things that I don’t hear when music plays. And so a couple years ago, it didn’t surprise me at all when he came home with an old record player he found on eBay.  He thinks that music sounds better on albums.  “It’s the way you’re supposed to hear it,” he says.  He listens to most things on albums now.  Current music, old music, and everything in between.  I didn’t even know music today was still released in album form, but you can find pretty much anything.  And Chris does.

For Valentine’s Day, I gave him the Nora Jones Come Away With Me album because it’s our song.  I spent a whole $12.00 and it was one of the most romantic, thoughtful gifts I’ve given him in a long time.

So, on Friday night after I read Bean’s last book to him and kissed him goodnight, I came out into the living room to find Nora’s lovely, familiar, rich voice filling our house.  We opened the windows and let the cool air drift in and then Chris and I wandered out to the back porch and sat around our patio table.  I kicked my feet up and Chris made dinner on the grill.

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And we talked.

About our life now. About Bean. About work. About Gracie. About trips we want to take. About things we want to do. About whether changing our light bulbs to energy efficient ones had made a difference in our power bill. About family. About where we want to be in five years. About where we were five years ago. About Girl Scout cookies. About our taxes. About daycare for the kids. About golf.

We talked about everything and nothing.

And we laughed.

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And while we sat there, just enjoying each other, our song floated outside and wrapped itself around us. Like an old pair of perfectly fitting jeans.

I get asked often how becoming parents changed my relationship with Chris. And there are lots of things that have changed. But I think some people worry that having babies will cause their relationship to become unrecognizably different. Sometimes that’s true, yes. But sitting on my back porch with my husband, the same person who has held my hand and kissed me goodnight since I was 16 years old, it didn’t feel different. It felt like us. Like the us we’d always been. And even though I sat there, feet away from my son and with a baby growing in my belly, even though we are in such a different place and living such a different life, even though we talked about parenting and taxes and homeownership, I was still sitting there in that place with my high school sweetheart – the love of my life.

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I love my husband today because he provides for our family, because he is a loving father, because he is patient and kind and forgiving in our marriage. But mostly, I love him because he is the grown up version of the teenage boy I fell in love with. Our relationship has changed, our plans have changed, our life has changed. But our love? That’s still the same. Only a little sweeter, a little stronger, a little deeper because we’ve had children together.

*****

Today I am grateful for Chris.

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29 Thoughts to “After All These Years”

  1. Jamie

    So very sweet! My husband and I had our first dance and husband and wife to “come away with me”. Perfect song.

  2. Mellen

    What a beautiful post!

  3. Amy

    Beautifully said, Katie. My husband & I don’t have babies yet, but sometimes I wonder how our love will grow & change once we do… This post was encouraging and inspirational for me 🙂 Thank you for sharing this!

  4. Nikki

    You really need a disclaimer at the top for posts that might have some of your emotional readers tearing up a bit. I probably look a little silly sitting at my desk with watered eyes and sniffling…

  5. This was so beautiful to read. It’s comforting to know that you can still have those times even after you have children, if you make time for it. 🙂 Thanks for sharing with us.

  6. I have a 7 week old and one of the things we are struggling with is to keep some part of our relationship recognizable. It’s extremely difficult to do while trying to figure out this new little person and adjust to sleep deprivation and a little man who is not fond of napping. It gives me hope to
    see that it can be done.

  7. Lisa

    Such a beautiful post, brought tears to my eyes. I wish we had lovely weather to sit outside on our porch too…instead, I’m looking at nearly 20 cms of snow!!

  8. Cindy In Owensboro, KY

    I love Nora Jones also and I agree with Chris that music sounds better on albums— I didn’t know you could get current ones though. I no longer have a record player but now that I know that, I want one!

  9. this is about the sweetest post I’ve read 🙂 Sounds like you guys had a wonderful night.

  10. This is the sweetest post ever. Ever. I love it. I love how you two keep things so real. I do not, however, love taxes.

  11. Erin

    I love this post. It’s as if you took the words right out of my mouth. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 and I still love nights like that – when we just kick back and really talk. My husband is a music fanatic as well and all we listen to is vinyl these days. And sometimes when the right song comes on we’ll just get up and dance in the middle of the living room. I highly recommend it 🙂

  12. Beautiful–you are a lucky pair! I had a similar night with my husband last night (we’ve been together since high school, too), and it’s incredible to see how far we’ve come and imagine what’s next. Glad you had a good night. I hope you ride on that high all week! P.S. Did the lightbulbs make a difference?

  13. Katie C

    That is the sweetest thing ever. I actually got the chills. Awesome. I love it!!

  14. What a sweet post! I am pregnant right now and some days it hits me that hubby and I won’t be able to cuddle in bed till 11:30 on Saturdays anymore; that we won’t be able to stay up late laughing and playing loud music; that we won’t be able to pack our bags and head for a weekend away just because. Everything will be a little tougher but I know it will be sweeter and more beautiful with a little living product of our love running around; and this post brought that to the forefront of my mind and heart again!

  15. Katie, I LOVE your blog! And this post is definitely one of the reasons why. Such beautiful writing! Husband and I don’t have kids yet, but it is great and comforting to know that the relationship can still stay how it was after kids. Thank you for a great post! 🙂

  16. This is beautiful. I love it. I had to laugh because T and I have nights like these where we go for walks and talk about random things…some serious, and then some not (like the energy light bulb thing). It’s good that you check in every now and then with each other and just enjoy each other’s company. Because that truly is what it’s all about, and it’s so obvious the love you two share. It’s so inspiring.

  17. Beautiful post, Katie. Isn’t it great to see such a sweet love grow even sweeter? You’ve got a love the way it’s meant to be, and the way God wrote it to be – it’s beautiful, strong, deep and wonderful… Ah the joys of love

  18. Lindsey

    Ummm BOOYA!! This is the best post ever! I can’t wait for it to get warm enough outside so I can grill with my husband and talk about energy efficient lightbulbs. It’s been far too long! Thanks for posting this – it seriously made me happy! And jealous. (I grew up in Florida – now live in Utah – and I MISS MY LANAI!)

  19. Hi Katie – I love this post (and your blog)! I hope this doesn’t sound stalker-ish, but my name is Katie, my husband’s name is Chris, we got married fairly young (21) and have been married for a couple years now. No kids yet but it’s something we’ve been talking about more frequently…I love this post b/c it’s so reassuring to hear that not EVERYTHING changes for good once you’ve got a little one 🙂 Thanks!

  20. This is a great post and there’s so much I could comment on, but I’m stuck on one point: You live in a place where you can sit outside and grill at night in February.

    Dangit.

  21. Sara

    nice work guys. you are an inspiration.

  22. Tressa

    This.Is.Awesome. Made me tear up, happy for you both! I’m also jealous that you can grill in the evening, in February. Very romantic 😉

  23. Lindsey @ linsonthego

    This is a beautiful picture of love! Thanks for sharing : ). My hubby and I have been married for almost 9 years and I love those special nights that remind you of all the blessings.

  24. Norah Jones is my favorite!!!

  25. BEAUTIFUL!

    I love it when those kind of moments happen!

    🙂

    Megan

  26. 2 minutes ago I was in a really bad mood. And then I read your post. Thank you for capturing in words one of the things that I am the most grateful for. {minus the high school sweetheart part} I needed that tonight. Thanks.

  27. Ok, this is going to sound insensitive after all the comments how about sweet your post was (and don’t get me wrong, I definitely teared up a little bit)- but has Chris tried out the Beats by Dr. Dre headphones? They’re supposed to allow you to hear the song as the artist meant for it to be heard. The headphones are pricey but it may be something he’d want to check out if he hasn’t already. I do think that a record player is completely romantic though : )

  28. Jayne

    Sob… Thanks for the sweet note today. I will appreciate my sweetheart even the more.

  29. Ella

    What a beautiful post. It made me cry! I love Norah jones too. You are one lucky lady!

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