It Could Be Worse
Today I went to the doctor about my back. She put me on bed rest for this week. The hope is that if I can rest it up really good this week, then I can hopefully avoid a month of bed rest at the end of my pregnancy. Along with staying off my feet completely, I have to go see an orthopedic specialist and a physical therapist. The PT is because whatever is wrong with my back seems to be triggered by movement and the PT will be able to teach me how to move so that I don’t put so much pressure on my back. The orthopedic surgeon is to diagnose what exactly is going on, which my doctor thinks is either a slipped or herniated disc. They’ll probably do an MRI (my doctor assured me is safe for the baby) to find out what’s going on and then we’ll get a treatment plan together from there.
I’m really frustrated with myself right now. I went to the doctor for my back a couple weeks ago and she gave me all these preventative things I needed to do – get a back brace, get a prenatal massage, go see the physical therapist – and I didn’t do any of it. I didn’t stay off my feet. I didn’t stop picking up Bean. Hell, I had a freaking YARD SALE this weekend. I knew my back was getting worse, in fact I’d had a couple small little episodes like what happened on Saturday before, and I still ignored everything. And now, things have gotten worse. I’m worried now because if I’m having this much trouble before the baby gets here, what will it be like when she arrives? Not only will I have a c-section recovery to deal with, but I’ll now have back trouble, too.
To add to that, I am losing weight really fast. I dropped 5 pounds in less than two weeks. Which isn’t horrible during pregnancy, but isn’t great either. I don’t know if it’s being pregnant with a girl or if it’s being too preoccupied to pay attention to what I’m eating, but I have had no appetite in the past couple months. Just one more thing I feel like I’m not taking care of for Gracie.
So, after that disappointing and frustrating doctors appointment, I was not in the best mood. I had snapped at everyone who spoke to me, I was pissy, I was just a pill. After the appointment, Chris and I rode together to pick up Bean from daycare. In the car, Chris listened to me snap at both my parents, complain about how I was going to handle work this week, and curse McDonald’s for not putting enough salt on their french fries. And the whole while, he hadn’t said a word. Not one word about the doctors appointment or anything.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped.
“What?” he asked.
“Well, you’re not talking to me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Cheer me up or something. That’s, like, your job,” I said.
“Kate,” he responded carefully, “I have known you for 12 years. And if I’ve learned anything about you in that time, I’ve learned no one is going to change your mind about anything, especially your mood. So, I’m just going to wait until you’re ready to talk.”
I didn’t know whether to kill him because he wasn’t making an effort or kiss him because he knew just how to handle me.
I pouted for a minute more and then started smiling. And then laughing. And before we even got to Bean’s daycare, I was feeling better again.
You know, this past winter Chris and I were visiting our hometown and met up with some old friends. We were out for New Years with them and I was complaining (shocking, I know…) about not being able to enjoy the festivities with everyone. One of our friends turned to me and said, “Just think. It could be worse. You could be sitting on an egg.”
I thought about it for a minute and then busted out laughing. He was totally right. I could be sitting on an egg. So, this part sucks. I’m sore. I can barely walk. I’m worried about work and money and how we’re going to make it through the summer on one paycheck. I’m frustrated and nervous and preoccupied and not a little pissy. But in the grand scheme of things, I’ve got a husband who loves me, a son who adores me, and a baby girl who can’t wait to come out and meet me. Things could be a lot worse.
I could be sitting on an egg.
*****
Today I am grateful that I have a very kind and understanding boss.
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29 Comments
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
Wow. I’d never thought about it that way! Wait, where’s your “I’m thankful for” moment at the end?
Shannon (40 and Trying to be Fab)
It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling bad and a little overwelmed by it all at the moment. Having physical pain makes everything else seem so much harder.
I know this sounds cliche and you’ve probably heard this a million times but “This too shall pass”. I think you’re doing a great job of remembering how fortunate you are and realizing that right now things seem tough but will get better. I’ve had to repeat this quote to myself many times over the years and I’m sure I will repeat many more times as my kids grow.
Just remeber that every moment in life, good and bad is a prescious memory and a building block for the person you can become.
Alaina
Man, sitting on an egg would seriously hurt your butt after awhile. Hope your back starts to feel better soon…I know bed rest might drive you crazy, but at least you have all of us out here in blog world to keep you occupied!
Amy
Aw, Katie 🙁 I’m so sorry to hear about your back. I hope that during your week “off your feet” you experience relief from pain as well as peace for the future. Sending hugs & prayers your way <3
Nigeria Hunter (real name )
@Lindsay – Maybe she’s thankful she’s not on that egg. 🙂
Jen @Caved In
So sorry about your back! Listen to the doctors and get some rest. One thing my husband has stressed to me is that there is no way I can be in a good place to take care of Sullivan if I don’t take care of myself. It’s great to be with someone who knows you so well. Unless he remembers how many pairs of shoes I have, then I wish his memory wasn’t so great. Bed rest sucks so get some rest!
anita
Kate, Love your stories! Love your blog! I miss your Thankful statements at the end.
Jess
Ok, well, you just made me nervous because I’m 6 mos. pregnant and probably have a slipped disc and have had one episode where I literally couldn’t move. Ok, 1 and a half episodes (the first only lasted a minute and I needed my husband to help me up, and the second lasted a lot longer and I couldn’t quite get myself to walk). The future babe’s room is a mess, nothing is where it’s supposed to be, I have a two-year-old, I have no time to get anything done! Panick attack! I better start my back exercises today and swimming next week, since I somehow know that I’ll end up on bed rest too if I don’t start now. Oh honey, good luck and know you are not the only one 🙂
Megan (Best of Fates)
I don’t want you to be depressed, so don’t take this the wrong way, but…
Would sitting on an egg be that bad? I mean, sure it’d be uncomfortable for a few days, until you butt conformed around it. And there’d always be that fear of accidentally squishing it. And then it’d be like a baby omelet all over your pants… oh, okay, I see the downside.
Life of a Doctor's Wife
Oh my, no wonder you feel grouchy! Sounds like a lot is going on. So glad that Chris is able to help you see the lighter side of things. Hopefully the bed rest goes well – and quickly – and helps!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I sympathize. It’s hard to keep perspective and a good mood when you’re in pain. I’m glad you have such a good support system in place!
Lori @ I Can Grow People
It could be worse. And you can make it through a summer on one paycheck. When I had Porter his early arrival also meant I missed 2.5 pay checks. When I was on leave (10 weeks) I only got a few days of vacation pay each week and Aaron didn’t have a summer job so he wasn’t bringing in any money either. But we managed to make it through and I know you can too! Rest and take care of yourself! That is the best thing you can do for you and Gracie right now.
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
It’s pretty hard to not be cranky when it hurts to move and you’re anxiously awaiting your baby’s birth, understandable! I hope you feel better soon!
Nate's Mom@nateisgreat
Wow. The sitting on an egg comment puts it all into perspective! You do have a lot going on — and good for you for recognizing it. You should also acknowledge that you’re in one of the most stressful events in your life — the addition of a child to your family. So cut yourself some slack. Rest up. Gain weight with a box or two of Swiss Rolls. Knock over a Girl Scout and steal her cookies, too. You’re doing this with more grace than you realize (and not just because your little girl’s name is Grace). And I’m selfishly (slightly) happy that you’re on a doctor mandated break because it will likely mean more blog posts!!! Wooh!
jamie
so i’m not going to go all crazy on you. or all preachy on you. but have you tried the chiropractic route? if you’ve never researched it or thought about it, maybe you could just take a few minutes and do both. i recently started going to a chiropractor after years of knowing i should try one. several people i know go regularly. but i was nervous. i mean, really, we’re talking your spine. i am telling you i {heart} this man. he x-rayed my entire back, neck, etc. and i could see on the x-rays exactly what was wrong. why i was aching and hurting. it was amazing. and now we’re on the way to making it all right with my spine. just a thought….
Leah @ JustPluckingDaisies
Thanks for this post, I needed it today! I’m just entering my second trimester and as thankful as I am to be pregnant some days all I can focus on is how sick I am, how tired I am, how helpless I am, how nervous I am… and I need to be reminded that really, I have it pretty good! There’s always someone out there suffering more than me!!!
Ashley
God is so good to give us husbands who know us better than we know ourselves and know even better than we think we do about exactly how to gently handle us when we need to be handled. So often, my husband has unexpectedly made me smile and laugh when I was just itching for a fight. God knew I needed that, much more than a fight!
Avath
Haha I wish my husband would learn that lesson already! He insists on trying to ‘cure me’ of my bad moods and negative thought patterns and we just end up fighting. Maybe I should send him a link to this post =)
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
Chris is great. 🙂 Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon…it’s no fun being pregnant and in pain all at once (although I’m told the 2 go together at times!).
Susan
I am sorry about your back pain. You may want to consider a physical therapist who specializes in Women’s Health; they see a lot of pregnant women! Otherwise, any physical therapist can give you exercises that are easy to do throughout your day depending on which direction the disc has slipped (the idea is to push the disk back where it belongs like playing with a jelly doughnut). I hope you feel better soon!
Rebecca
I love that conversation between you and Chris. It’s a classic “marriage” conversation…love it!
lissa
Poor lambie….hang in there Katie. Just keep up with the mantra: I will be compliant. I will be compliant. I will be compliant”……
Hilary
OMG – That comment really hit home. I remember after my daughter was born thinking how horrible it was to have a newborn (no offense to anyone, I just hate those first few months). I thought how hard it was to get so little sleep, so little time to do anything without having a crying infant attached to me. During my pity-party, an image from the movie, “March of the Penguins” came to my mind. It was a shot of the father penguins, all huddled together in the frigid cold, covered in snow as the wind whipped around them. I remembered Morgan Freeman explaining how the penguins have to balance their eggs on the tops of their feet and how the penguins are basically starving and freezing while they stay upright for days at a time, balancing that egg on the top of their feet. Once the baby chick hatches, they regurgitate the last bit of sustenance in their stomachs to feed the chicks and THEN, once they are relieved of their parental duties by their mate, they get to trek miles to the ocean to feed and hopefully not get eaten by a predator. Okay God, I thought to myself, message received loud and clear. I would never make it as a penguin. Those guys are hardcore.
lissa
I’ve been mulling something over: Why DIDN”T you follow the doctor’s instructions? Not picking on you…because I’m asking myself the same questions: why don’t I go to the dentist, why don’t I do the physical therapy exercises, why don’t I exercise. A question for everyone: why is it so hard to act in our own best interest?
Whitney
Oh girl, how happy I am that the Lord didn’t choose egg sitting for us. I simply do NOT have the patience. But then again, I had very little patience when I was 9 months preggo and waddling every where I went.
Hrmph.
Sarah
Have you tried s chiropractor. They might not be able to do much yet because they usually need xrays but maybe that could help after the baby gets here. I had some serious problems after my first and am all fixed up from a good chiropractor.
Amy @ Serve At Once
Katie, sending lots of love and prayers for comfort before Miss Gracie’s grand appearance. But if you ever feel like you can’t do anything, just chant this mantra: “I am a badass. I am a badass I am a badass.” Because, HELLO, you’re growing a whole person and functioning as a human being. Just sayin. 🙂
Maggie
Ugh, I’m so sorry about your back. I’ve had back issues before and now I wonder how much worse it’ll be whenever we decide to have kids… And I have to agree wholeheartedly with you about the egg thing!
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