Today I went to the doctor about my back.Â She put me on bed rest for this week.Â The hope is that if I can rest it up really good this week, then I can hopefully avoid a month of bed rest at the end of my pregnancy.Â Along with staying off my feet completely, I have to go see an orthopedic specialist and a physical therapist.Â The PT is because whatever is wrong with my back seems to be triggered by movement and the PT will be able to teach me how to move so that I don’t put so much pressure on my back.Â The orthopedic surgeon is to diagnose what exactly is going on, which my doctor thinks is either a slipped or herniated disc.Â They’ll probably do an MRI (my doctor assured me is safe for the baby) to find out what’s going on and then we’ll get a treatment plan together from there.
I’m really frustrated with myself right now.Â I went to the doctor for my back a couple weeks ago and she gave me all these preventative things I needed to do – get a back brace, get a prenatal massage, go see the physical therapist – and I didn’t do any of it.Â I didn’t stay off my feet.Â I didn’t stop picking up Bean.Â Hell, I had a freaking YARD SALE this weekend.Â I knew my back was getting worse, in fact I’d had a couple small little episodes like what happened on Saturday before, and I still ignored everything. And now, things have gotten worse.Â I’m worried now because if I’m having this much trouble before the baby gets here, what will it be like when she arrives?Â Not only will I have a c-section recovery to deal with, but I’ll now have back trouble, too.
To add to that, I am losing weight really fast.Â I dropped 5 pounds in less than two weeks.Â Which isn’t horrible during pregnancy, but isn’t great either.Â I don’t know if it’s being pregnant with a girl or if it’s being too preoccupied to pay attention to what I’m eating, but I have had no appetite in the past couple months.Â Just one more thing I feel like I’m not taking care of for Gracie.
So, after that disappointing and frustrating doctors appointment, I was not in the best mood.Â I had snapped at everyone who spoke to me, I was pissy, I was just a pill.Â After the appointment, Chris and I rode together to pick up Bean from daycare.Â In the car, Chris listened to me snap at both my parents, complain about how I was going to handle work this week, and curse McDonald’s for not putting enough salt on their french fries.Â And the whole while, he hadn’t said a word.Â Not one word about the doctors appointment or anything.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped.
“What?” he asked.
“Well, you’re not talking to me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know.Â Cheer me up or something.Â That’s, like, your job,” I said.
“Kate,” he responded carefully, “I have known you for 12 years.Â And if I’ve learned anything about you in that time, I’ve learned no one is going to change your mind about anything, especially your mood.Â So, I’m just going to wait until you’re ready to talk.”
I didn’t know whether to kill him because he wasn’t making an effort or kiss him because he knew just how to handle me.
I pouted for a minute more and then started smiling.Â And then laughing.Â And before we even got to Bean’s daycare, I was feeling better again.
You know, this past winter Chris and I were visiting our hometown and met up with some old friends.Â We were out for New Years with them and I was complaining (shocking, I know…) about not being able to enjoy the festivities with everyone.Â One of our friends turned to me and said, “Just think.Â It could be worse.Â You could be sitting on an egg.”
I thought about it for a minute and then busted out laughing.Â He was totally right.Â I could be sitting on an egg.Â So, this part sucks.Â I’m sore.Â I can barely walk.Â I’m worried about work and money and how we’re going to make it through the summer on one paycheck.Â I’m frustrated and nervous and preoccupied and not a little pissy.Â But in the grand scheme of things, I’ve got a husband who loves me, a son who adores me, and a baby girl who can’t wait to come out and meet me.Â Things could be a lot worse.
I could be sitting on an egg.
Today I am grateful that I have a very kind and understanding boss.