Tonight we had spaghetti for dinner. It’s a crowd pleaser at my house. I cut Bean’s noodles up really small so he can use his spoon to eat it and it’s one of his favorites. But tonight, he did something weird.
I mean weirder than usual.
Cause he’s a pretty weird dude on a normal day.
Tonight, he put a big bite into his mouth and then he put his face down almost into his bowl and he spit the whole mouthful out! I was so shocked that I gasped.
“Bean!” I said sternly. “We do NOT spit out our food. You need to be a nice boy at the dinner table.”
“Sawy, Mom,” he said.
So he picked up his spoon, shoveled a big mouthful in, and then, once again, put his face down near his bowl and spit everything out!
“MICHAEL!” I shouted. “That is NOT how we eat! No, sir. One more time and you will have to sit in time out.”
“Mom!” he whined, saying some words I couldn’t understand because he was so upset. Then, he pointed straight at Chris and said clear as a bell, “Daddy did it!”
And at that exact moment, I turned to my husband just in time to see him put a big bite of spaghetti in his mouth, bend down low to his plate, and bite a mouthful of noodles, sending them falling back down to the plate.
It looked exactly like he was spitting them out.
I kicked Chris under the table.
“Ow!” Chris whined. “What’d I do?”
“Quit eating your spaghetti like an animal!” I whispered.
“I don’t know how else to eat it!” he whispered back.
Then, I hung my head in shame because I married a person who thinks spaghetti has to be attacked by his teeth instead of twirled on a spoon.
Then, I turned to Bean and explained that Daddy wasn’t spitting his food out, he was just biting the noodles. For the rest of the meal, Bean would put a bite of spaghetti into his mouth, put his head down next to his bowl, and then chew and swallow.
If he ends up being one of those weird kids who touches food to his chin or has to sniff everything twice before he can eat it, it will totally be Chris’s fault.