I had a pretty rough day today. I woke up with a headache and that ended up being the high point. What got everything off to a bad start was something that happened at Bean and Gracie’s daycare. I’ve thought about this blog post all night and about whether I would share what happened or not. I think I’ve decided not to. It wasn’t anything horrific, but the point of this blog post isn’t about what a daycare does or does not do. The point of this blog post is about intuition.
When I first dropped the kids at their new daycare, I felt pretty good. They both had some adjustment issues, but nothing major or unexpected. During that adjustment period, I was very forgiving of anything I saw at the daycare that I wasn’t 100% thrilled with. For the first week, Gracie kept being sent home in someone else’s bibs and I’d often walk into the nursery to find another baby wearing one of hers. It didn’t bother me, really, but I did think it was odd. Couldn’t they keep track of her things? They all had her name on them. But I chalked it up to getting used to a new place and a new way of doing things. Gradually, I became more comfortable with her classroom and teachers.
Bean’s room was a little different. I’d love to be able to give you a list of things that I saw that I wasn’t happy with, but the list I do have is kind of nonsensical and abstract. Yes, there have been incidents and things that I am not happy about, but my comfort level with this daycare doesn’t come from incidents. It comes from a feeling inside me.
Something just isn’t right.
I see things occasionally that I’d come home and tell Chris about (for example, Bean’s daily report was a photo copy that every child had sent home – they all said the same thing every day, “He loved story time!” But every sheet said that, for every child. There was nothing personal about Bean’s sheet, so I never knew what HIS day was like…), but for the most part, the little things I was noticing were just sort of filed away in the back of my mind. His teachers seemed nice. Bean seemed to be adjusting, but settling in.
But something just wasn’t right.
Finally, this morning, there was an incident involving Bean and I thought to myself, “Why am I sitting here waiting for something bad to happen? What else has to happen before I do something?”
I called Chris and my mom on my way to work. I talked to Sarah when I got to work. I emailed with Chris all day. And I called my sister after school. All day long, I wanted someone to validate what I was thinking. I’d explain things to them and then get mad when someone thought I was overreacting or if they didn’t understand what I was upset about. But I came home tonight and thought long and hard about it.
The fact is, I can’t really explain what’s wrong with the daycare. If I told you the things I’m unhappy with, you’d probably not think it was anything worth uprooting my kids and moving them to another daycare. But I know better. I know that this unsettled feeling I have about my kids daycare isn’t an overreaction. It is intuition.
Having kids is teaching me that sometimes you have to go with your gut, even when you can’t explain it to someone else. So, this week, Chris and I are going to look at other daycare centers and, hopefully, we’ll be moving the kids in the next couple weeks. I’m not happy about doing it. I hate the thought of Bean going through another transitional period after he finally got settled, but I know that we’re doing the right thing because at the end of the day, those two babies are my whole entire world and I better by 200% satisfied with the people who are taking care of them.