Still Having Fun

Having children has changed my marriage in a lot of ways. More than anything else, it deepened the way I love Chris. Seeing him in the kids, seeing him interact and parent them, seeing him take care of his family, all of those things made the love that I already had for him mature. It also taught us how to be patient with each other, how to listen to each other, and how to ask for help from each other. Raising children together has taught us that relationships are not about being right or wrong, they are about helping each other be the best version of ourselves. We could have learned those lessons in a lot of other ways, but I think having kids condensed those life lessons down into a period of about two years. We’re always learning, always evolving, always moving forward with our kids and, like everything else in our lives now, we have to learn things a lot faster or we’ll never keep up.

This past weekend was my birthday and some sweet friends threw me a birthday party Friday night, so we sent the kids up to my parent’s house for the weekend so that Chris and I could celebrate with friends. When we dropped the kids off on Friday afternoon, my parent’s gave me my Christmas present. A new set of golf clubs and bag!

I really do love to play golf, but since having the kids, it’s gotten harder for me to go out and play. With the kids at my parent’s house on Saturday, though, Chris and I decided to take advantage of the babysitter and break in my new clubs. We played nine holes of a small course, just the two of us. We laughed and made fun of each other and just really enjoyed being together.

Chris especially liked the golf ball I was using…

It was a really great afternoon. After golf, we went over to a friend’s house for a beer and later met up with them for dinner at a sports bar to eat wings and watch football.

There really wasn’t anything romantic about this weekend. No candlelight. No flowers. No restaurants with tablecloths. It was just a fun day with my boyfriend.

I think that’s something else that having children has taught Chris and me. We’ve learned that extravagance doesn’t necessarily equal love. Sometimes, it’s the absence of extravagance that equals love, actually. It’s being able to spend a day with your partner of twelve years and still feel like you’re on a first date. The state that my marriage exists in is not passionate, and to some people that might be a sad statement. But to me, it’s just where I want to be. We have peaks of passion and valleys of hard times, but our day-to-day love is steady, strong, comfortable, and easy. Like slipping on my favorite pair of jeans. And I love that after all this time and with an active family of our own now, we’re still able to stop in the middle of it all and just enjoy each other.

I’m a lucky, lucky birthday girl.

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22 Thoughts to “Still Having Fun”

  1. Beth

    Happy Birthday Katie!!! Wishing you many more blessings this year!

  2. That sounds like a GREAT weekend! Brad and I are getting our first {whole} weekend away in 2 weeks since having Zoe, and I can’t WAIT!!!! Happy Birthday… just a few days late =)

  3. Christy

    I’ve been “dating”/cohabiting with my fiance for 9 years as of December 3 and B was trying to describe our relationship in preparation for our wedding. He said it was like , “a worn pair of shoes”. I think “favorite pair of jeans” sounds just a little more magical. Gosh, we are so sexy (not)!

  4. Rachel @ The Ongoing Planner

    Sounds like a great birthday! I love the “helping each other be the best versions of ourselves”! Brilliant concept.

  5. That is very sweet & it sounds perfect to me!! What a treat that you got a whole weekend just the two of you, I need to re-find my boyfriend! Happy birthday Katie!

  6. Happy Birthday Katie!! What a great present!

  7. Aw, happy birthday! Glad you had a fun weekend!

  8. Trish

    Sounds like the perfect weekend. We played all weekend too…watched way too much college sports. (YES, my Ky Wildcats kicked some NC butt)…drank too much beer…did some yard work. Last night as we were brushing our teeth…Doug commented about what a great weekend it was…and he was right. It was a great weekend.

    Happy Birthday, Katie!

    Oh…I love my Thirty One bags!!!

  9. Happy birthday! I love the jeans analogy. So true. This is why I love your blog–you are so real about marriage and family and so joyful about every part of it.

  10. Rhona

    Happy Birthday! My husband and I have been married for 29 years and we still refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. I think it adds a certain spark, it makes us feel as if the relationship is still young and fresh. I am so glad you and your boyfriend had a wonderful weekend!

  11. A very belated happy birthday Katie. I love how you spent your day – looks perfect. 🙂

  12. Happy belated birthday, Katie! I hope you enjoyed your weekend with your love. It sounds lovely and just perfect for the two of you!

  13. I completely understand what your saying about passion (or the lack thereof). I love my husband. He loves me. We love being together, but we have a child, jobs, dogs, bills, and responsibilities. Passion kind of has to take the backseat sometimes. Slow and steady wins the race everytime.

  14. Happy Birthday Katie! I think since we have had Braeden we sometimes forget to take us time. This weekend is the first time since this time last year we will be having a sitter and going out and it took my husband’s holiday party to prompt it. I guess it will be something we work on and need over the more near future. I love the “boyfriend” moments I still have with him and hope they are always there. It sounds like you had a wonderful time celebrating this weekend!

  15. Happy Birthday Katie! You and Chris are adorable. Glad you got to spend some special time together this weekend!

  16. Happy Birthday! Looks like you two had such a fun day together! And after 11+ years together, I still often refer to my husband as “my boyfriend” 🙂

  17. Laura

    Happy birthday! I’m so glad you had a good day!

  18. jenny-bird

    Happy belated birthday Katie. A pleasant weekend with your other half sounds like a great way to spend your time.

  19. Maggie

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time :’) thank you!

  20. Kat

    Happy belated! LOVE that you guys still go out to do the fun, couply stuff!

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