01Mar
Today I went to the doctor about my back. She put me on bed rest for this week. The hope is that if I can rest it up really good this week, then I can hopefully avoid a month of bed rest at the end of my pregnancy. Along with staying off my feet completely, I have to go see an orthopedic specialist and a physical therapist. The PT is because whatever is wrong with my back seems to be triggered by movement and the PT will be able to teach me how to move so that I don’t put so much pressure on my back. The orthopedic surgeon is to diagnose what exactly is going on, which my doctor thinks is either a slipped or herniated disc. They’ll probably do an MRI (my doctor assured me is safe for the baby) to find out what’s going on and then we’ll get a treatment plan together from there.
I’m really frustrated with myself right now. I went to the doctor for my back a couple weeks ago and she gave me all these preventative things I needed to do – get a back brace, get a prenatal massage, go see the physical therapist – and I didn’t do any of it. I didn’t stay off my feet. I didn’t stop picking up Bean. Hell, I had a freaking YARD SALE this weekend. I knew my back was getting worse, in fact I’d had a couple small little episodes like what happened on Saturday before, and I still ignored everything. And now, things have gotten worse. I’m worried now because if I’m having this much trouble before the baby gets here, what will it be like when she arrives? Not only will I have a c-section recovery to deal with, but I’ll now have back trouble, too.
To add to that, I am losing weight really fast. I dropped 5 pounds in less than two weeks. Which isn’t horrible during pregnancy, but isn’t great either. I don’t know if it’s being pregnant with a girl or if it’s being too preoccupied to pay attention to what I’m eating, but I have had no appetite in the past couple months. Just one more thing I feel like I’m not taking care of for Gracie.
So, after that disappointing and frustrating doctors appointment, I was not in the best mood. I had snapped at everyone who spoke to me, I was pissy, I was just a pill. After the appointment, Chris and I rode together to pick up Bean from daycare. In the car, Chris listened to me snap at both my parents, complain about how I was going to handle work this week, and curse McDonald’s for not putting enough salt on their french fries. And the whole while, he hadn’t said a word. Not one word about the doctors appointment or anything.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped.
“What?” he asked.
“Well, you’re not talking to me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Cheer me up or something. That’s, like, your job,” I said.
“Kate,” he responded carefully, “I have known you for 12 years. And if I’ve learned anything about you in that time, I’ve learned no one is going to change your mind about anything, especially your mood. So, I’m just going to wait until you’re ready to talk.”
I didn’t know whether to kill him because he wasn’t making an effort or kiss him because he knew just how to handle me.
I pouted for a minute more and then started smiling. And then laughing. And before we even got to Bean’s daycare, I was feeling better again.
You know, this past winter Chris and I were visiting our hometown and met up with some old friends. We were out for New Years with them and I was complaining (shocking, I know…) about not being able to enjoy the festivities with everyone. One of our friends turned to me and said, “Just think. It could be worse. You could be sitting on an egg.”
I thought about it for a minute and then busted out laughing. He was totally right. I could be sitting on an egg. So, this part sucks. I’m sore. I can barely walk. I’m worried about work and money and how we’re going to make it through the summer on one paycheck. I’m frustrated and nervous and preoccupied and not a little pissy. But in the grand scheme of things, I’ve got a husband who loves me, a son who adores me, and a baby girl who can’t wait to come out and meet me. Things could be a lot worse.
I could be sitting on an egg.
*****
Today I am grateful that I have a very kind and understanding boss.
(I should explain that this next one. Chris’s theater was performing Anne Frank and he was walking the set.)
*****
Today I am thankful for technology.
Every now and then I like to do a post showcasing some of my low points as a parent. You know, to make you all feel better about your parenting techniques. So, here we go…
1. Last night we went to Cici’s Pizza where Bean ate breadsticks and brownies for dinner. I considered the cheese on the breadsticks to be his dairy and the bread to be his grain and I called it a successful mealtime.
2. The other day I was sitting in the front yard with Bean and I stopped playing for just a minute to flip through some mail. When I looked up again, Bean was three houses down, standing in the neighbor’s front yard all by himself. I ended up chasing him through the neighborhood, holding my giant pregnant belly. Bean thought it was the most fun ever.
3. Sometimes when I’m too tired to fight him, I let Bean wipe his own nose. Which usually means he spreads snot all over his face. But I still sit there and do nothing about it.
4. If I ever have to slam on my brakes in the car for some reason, Bean always yells out, “WHOA, MOMMA!”
5. This morning on our way to daycare, Bean stuck a piece of waffle up his nose. Since I was in rush hour traffic, I couldn’t pull over to fish it out, so he sat in the backseat for 10 minutes trying to snort it out.
6. One time Bean pitched a temper tantrum in the waiting room at my doctors office where he threw himself down on the floor in the middle of about 12 soon-to-be mommies. I was too big and pregnant to reach him on the floor, so I nudged him with the foot until he got up again. I looked around to find 12 sets of horrified pregnant eyes watching me and all I said to them was, “You just wait…”
7. Chris taught Bean to growl before biting the heads off of animal crackers. It’s pretty disturbing.
8. Sometimes we make Bean get us things when they are stuck in places we can’t reach. Like when we drop things between the fridge and the cabinets or when tennis balls get under the bushes in the backyard.
9. Bean has three toy cell phones and a Fisher Price laptop. I fear where this is going.
10. Bean has trouble saying words that start with F. Like fork, frog, and flag. He gets the F sound right, but the rest of the word rhymes with duck…if you get my drift. This provides Chris and I with hours of entertainment.
03Mar
Flowers my sweet sister-in-law brought me
I’ve been couch-sittin’ for the past week to help my back get stronger so that I can finish out the last three weeks of work before my maternity leave. I went to an orthopedist yesterday and it was pretty frustrating, to be honest. He basically said there’s not much he can do for me because I’m pregnant. Wouldn’t it have been nice if he or one of the four nurses I spoke with on the phone before my appointment could have just told me that over the phone?
Cards I’ve been meaning to mail, my laptop, and my daily planner
I came out of the appointment frustrated and disappointed and irritated. So, I went to Chick-fil-a and got a two milkshakes and then drove straight to Chris’s office where I sat for half an hour venting. And then, in Chris’s quiet, calm way, he said, “Kate, you’re being ridiculous.”
Humph. I hate when he’s right.
My iPhone so I can play Bejeweled until my eyeballs fall out and the book I’m reading (which, by the way, is fantastic. I was not a fan of President Bush, but I have always thought Laura Bush was beyond graceful and kind. Her autobiography is wonderful, if you’re looking for something to read…)
The truth is that I did learn some things. The doctor says that Gracie is sitting on my sciatic nerve, which is what has caused the constant pain for the past three or four months. Probably what happened was that I started carrying myself differently to relieve that pain and in the process (and along with lifting and over exerting myself), I messed up one or more of my discs in my back. He had me do some exercises and movements in his office to see what hurt and what was bearable and then based on that he guessed that what I have is a ruptured disc. The good news, he said, was that the sciatic nerve pain will immediately be eliminated once Gracie is born and the pressure is off of that nerve. Also, he said that with disc problems, they can usually heal themselves with a lot of rest. Since I can’t really afford to go on bed rest until my maternity leave, the doctor said that if I want to keep working then I have to completely sit down whenever I’m not teaching.
Remotes. Key to bed rest.
All of this is to say that it looks like my couch is my new nest. So, apparently, I might as well be sitting on an egg.
Water to keep myself hydrated so that I’ll stop having these horrible contractions and Snickers because Gracie has a sweet tooth.
If you think I’m a miserable pregnant woman, you should see me when I’m a confined miserable pregnant woman. I’m terrible when I have to just sit still. It’s a rare trait that Chris and I share. We both like to stay busy, stay active, to be doing something. Sure, I like to just sit and veg sometimes, but usually not more than half an hour at a time before I start getting fidgety. Chris is the same way, too. If he has a whole Saturday with no plans, no honey-do’s, and no obligations, he starts out so happy but by about 10:00am, he’s like a caged lion just pacing the house.
Papers to grade
But I guess this is a good lesson for us to learn now. We’ve gotten used to having a rambunctious toddler around who likes to go, go, go just as much as we do. We’re all going to have to learn how to stop and breathe and go a bit slower with Gracie around. The newborn pace, though hectic, is slow and steady. So, we’ll just consider this little couch sittin’ time to be practice for welcoming a new, slower-moving addition to our family.
I think I’ve watched The Blind Side about 5 times already.
And now I must leave you. My doctor also said that Thin Mints have been known to radically cure ruptured discs and so I must medicate myself…
*****
Today I am grateful for sunshine.
