Body Image

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It has been a jarring day, to say the least. I am spent. And my body image has been battered down to my sixth grade self. Several things happened today which led to this middle school regression in self confidence. Allow me to share.

1) Remember that inspiring post I wrote last week about my running and healthy eating habits? Yeah…. about that… I haven’t run since that post and I’ve decided to go all the way and just JUMP off the wagon by eating like crap on top of the no running thing. Seriously. My insides hate me and my thighs are laughing at me. So, this morning I get up at 6:30 and vow to make a fresh start. I ran 1.75 miles in an hour. Which basically means I walked 1.75 miles, huffing and puffing and cussing every step of the way. It was so frustrating. I hate running. Why do people do it? I’m never doing it again. Until tomorrow.

2) This morning at our first day of Rep Camp, Bean and I were sitting in a circle with six other moms and their kids. We were pretending to be crabs. You know, with pinchers? And Bean suddenly leans over and pinches my boob and yells out, “THERE’S A BABY IN THERE!” I died a small, quiet death. It is still undecided if we will be returning to the class, or if I will be returning to society at all ever again. I’ll keep you posted.

3) Late this afternoon I took the kids to their swimming lessons. For this lesson, the instructor had asked me if I would like to get in the water with Bean so that she could show me things we could do at home to encourage him to swim correctly. So, I dug out a swimsuit from my drawer, threw it on, and headed out to the Y. As I’m driving, I felt something itching my side, and when I reached down, I realized that my swimsuit – which I have worn NUMEROUS times out in public – still had the price tags hanging from it. (Fail #1) Then, when I pulled the tag off at the next traffic light, I glanced at it and saw that – joy of joys! – it was a MATERNITY bathing suit. I have been wearing a maternity suit with the tags still attached all summer long.

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Also? For those kind people who responded to my tweet about this yesterday with cries of, “But it’s a size small!” I would like to repeat, it’s a size small MATERNITY bathing suit. Which means that I could wear a small PREGNANT woman’s clothes. That doesn’t make me feel better, people. Don’t try to pacify me. I know the truth.

It wasn’t a great day for me. My body image has been dragged through the streets, through the arts, and through the swimming pools of America today. The only thing left to do is drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream while wearing my pregnant lady swimsuit. At least it’s super womb-y. I mean, roomy.

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21 thoughts on “Body Image

  1. OK so maybe its not much – but you did walk / run those 1.75 miles. Which is 1.75 miles than a lot of others did (like me) which means you are making an effort. Its a small step, but you made a step. Tomorrow when you get up (note I said when not if) so WHEN you get up you’ll make more steps. That has to count for something right?

  2. I think the real thing we should all take note of is that by the looks of that red scratch through the price tag, I would think you got this on sale. Which is always a win. Duh.

    Also, you were outside for 1.75 miles longer than I was yesterday. You can do it!

  3. The boob incident is hilarious. I think the other parents will understand so don’t be too embarrassed over that one. He just needs an anatomy lesson when he gets a little older preferably before he starts dating….sorry, but I’m cracking up here.
    If it’s any consolation (which I’m sure it’s not coming from my big badunka dunk) I think you look amazing! Who cares of about weight or size? It’s more about how you feel and how you are taking care of yourself. As long as you are happy and healthy then that is all that matters.
    Also, I could use finals as an excuse but I haven’t been to the gym in a week..it’s hard to stay motivated! I miss it though. I’m ready to get back because it made me feel so good.

  4. Aw, hugs! You know, Tim the other day said “oh you should get some of those” when he saw a commercial about tummy tucking underwear. I almost clocked him.

  5. enjoy that ice cream tonight… and then enjoy your run tomorrow =) I haven’t seen a single picture any time in the last year {I’m mean, seriously!} that you haven’t looked great! I would LOVE to look like you after this baby pops out…

  6. Ok lady you are allowed to have this pity party tonight and then all done! You look great and remember while we have not hung out recently I did see you before running and I know what you look like after and you look fantastic. Have faith that it is just a slump as you were so busy last week much less this summer! You have inspired many of us myself included to make little changes in our lives and habits and I know you will only get back on track. Just give yourself some slack. Hope you are all well and remember tomorrow is a redo! Oh and feel free to send me the swimsuit! 🙂

  7. Sue C

    I can sympathize. At church last week, my son patted my chest and proudly announced (very loudly), “You have two babies in there.” I almost fainted. And then we had a nice anatomy lesson later in the car.

  8. Oh dear, I’m glad to see my son is not the only kid to pat his mother’s boobs and proclaim there to be “a baby in there!” He also thinks a mole on my collarbone is a nipple, no matter how many times I tell him otherwise.
    Tomorrow can only be a better day!

  9. I have been super lazy lately & eating like crap as well. I got back on the healthy train for like 2 days this week and it felt great, and then I fell right back off. UGH.

  10. Christina

    So, I decided togive my exhausted body a break and stopped waking up at 4:45am and heading to the gym two weeks ago. I went yesterday but used today as my “break” day. Oh, and I consumed a Blue Bell “The Great Divide” tub of ice cream in the three days my husband was gone for business, thankyouverymuch. And then my beautiful 3.5 YO daughter told my husband that her belly was getting bigger so she could look just like Mama. And I thought middle school was hard on a body image.

  11. Let’s see . . . excessive ice cream eating, sore boobs, maternity wear . . . when is your due date?
    😉

  12. Don’t feel bad Kate. I fall off the wagon face first into the asphalt at least twice a month. It’s ok to have set backs!

  13. Aimee

    I’ve had people make “you should be a model” comments to me since forever I think. And I hate my body sometimes (well, a lot actually). Point is, some days bodies just suck. But God has blessed each of us with a unique and powerful body! Yours has blessed you with 2 beautiful and healthy kids! Feel no shame when you slack off! (Especially if it’s because you’re super busy!!! And also, studies show that people who give into their cravings in a moderate way are actually healthier and thinner – so eat that ice cream guilt-free!) Every day is a new start to the rest of your life, so feel free to jump back on the wagon at any time, but don’t do it because of guilt or shame! God made you beautiful and perfect, and it’s not dependant on whether you exercise or how you eat or what your adorable kids say without understanding what they’re saying! *hugs*

  14. Stefania

    Who cares? You are a gorgeous, smart, fit, amazing woman that should be proud every single day. Jumping off the wagon only mean s that you get to be proud once you get on again. As women we need to start loving the way we look instead of hating some insignificant number or tag that means nothing. Stand proud!

  15. Aw, hugs. You look awesome! I’m super jealous of your gorgeous red hair. I don’t know a single woman who likes their body so you are not alone. Keep being amazing both inside and out. You are only as fit as you think you are. One week is not long enough to loose your physical fitness. Mind over body. Cut your weekly mileage in half and get back on the road. Believing you can run 5 miles can go a long way. And buy yourself a new suit that rocks your body and makes you feel fabulous.

  16. Thanks for the laugh about the womby suit.
    As for the 180 turn, it happens. What matters most is that you are making changes to get back on track and you will get back on track. It is just super frustrating, I have done it several times. I always think, wow where would I be if I hadn’t fallen off so many times, but there is always the flip side of where would I be it I hadn’t gotten back on?

  17. There’s a baby in your BOOB?? I die!!! Seriously, though….you look great & I’m sure Chris agrees!

  18. Andrea

    I know that for me the best way to stay motivated is to register for a race that’s about a month or two out. I know you’re registered for a 1/2 in 2013, but maybe try registering for a 5k a bit sooner. Whenever I start feeling lazy I picture how poorly I’ll run if I don’t train and that usually gets me moving :). Regardless, you look great, womby suit or not!

  19. It’s funny because when you started running and getting into it, I also started running! I still have yet to run 3 miles without walk breaks but I’m almost there! I’ve also been tracking my food with the My Fitness Pal app. The numbers on the scale haven’t moved really but I’m feeling more in shape and confident. You’ve inspired me so hopefully I (along with the other commenters) can inspire you to stick with it!

  20. PK

    Awww, Katie, you are beautiful. Missing your runs for a bit and eating some (or more than some) ice cream, doesn’t change that. We all fall off the wagon sometimes. It’s okay. It happens. Pick yourself back up and keep moving. This proves you’re human, like the rest of us. It will also show your children that sometimes we mess up but that is okay – we just need to pick up and move on.

  21. Kat

    Aw man, Katie. I don’t even know what to say except get back on the healthy running bandwagon and kick the maternity suit’s ass.

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