It has been a jarring day, to say the least. I am spent. And my body image has been battered down to my sixth grade self. Several things happened today which led to this middle school regression in self confidence. Allow me to share.
1) Remember that inspiring post I wrote last week about my running and healthy eating habits? Yeah…. about that… I haven’t run since that post and I’ve decided to go all the way and just JUMP off the wagon by eating like crap on top of the no running thing. Seriously. My insides hate me and my thighs are laughing at me. So, this morning I get up at 6:30 and vow to make a fresh start. I ran 1.75 miles in an hour. Which basically means I walked 1.75 miles, huffing and puffing and cussing every step of the way. It was so frustrating. I hate running. Why do people do it? I’m never doing it again. Until tomorrow.
2) This morning at our first day of Rep Camp, Bean and I were sitting in a circle with six other moms and their kids. We were pretending to be crabs. You know, with pinchers? And Bean suddenly leans over and pinches my boob and yells out, “THERE’S A BABY IN THERE!” I died a small, quiet death. It is still undecided if we will be returning to the class, or if I will be returning to society at all ever again. I’ll keep you posted.
3) Late this afternoon I took the kids to their swimming lessons. For this lesson, the instructor had asked me if I would like to get in the water with Bean so that she could show me things we could do at home to encourage him to swim correctly. So, I dug out a swimsuit from my drawer, threw it on, and headed out to the Y. As I’m driving, I felt something itching my side, and when I reached down, I realized that my swimsuit – which I have worn NUMEROUS times out in public – still had the price tags hanging from it. (Fail #1) Then, when I pulled the tag off at the next traffic light, I glanced at it and saw that – joy of joys! – it was a MATERNITY bathing suit. I have been wearing a maternity suit with the tags still attached all summer long.
Also? For those kind people who responded to my tweet about this yesterday with cries of, “But it’s a size small!” I would like to repeat, it’s a size small MATERNITY bathing suit. Which means that I could wear a small PREGNANT woman’s clothes. That doesn’t make me feel better, people. Don’t try to pacify me. I know the truth.
It wasn’t a great day for me. My body image has been dragged through the streets, through the arts, and through the swimming pools of America today. The only thing left to do is drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream while wearing my pregnant lady swimsuit. At least it’s super womb-y. I mean, roomy.