*** CONGRATULATIONS TO THE BARNES AND NOBLE GIFT CARD WINNER, Commenter #23 – Trish D.! Trish, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your prize! ***
On Friday, I posted a post about when Chris and I found out we were pregnant with Bean and Gracie. It was supposed to be a little lesson about how sometimes in life, timing has a way of working itself out just how it is supposed to. I wrote it with a specific audience in mind – those young couples who were trying to decide if it was time to have a baby or not. However, I received several comments from blog readers who reminded me that for some people, the timing of children never works out and that this is anything but “divine timing.” Those readers told me that hearing comments about how pregnancies will “happen when they are supposed to happen” can be incredibly painful and hurtful to women who are struggling with infertility issues.
I didn’t log in to check the comments of that post until Saturday afternoon and I was horrified to see this response. I immediately came home and took the post down. But that didn’t seem like enough. So, I decided to blog about it. Because it’s what I do.
I apologize to anyone out there who read that post and was offended, hurt, or angry. I have many friends – too many, really – who have and are struggling with infertility. For some of them, they have been able to eventually have a child, though much later than they planned. And for a few of them, they were never able to have children on their own, but have gone on to adopt babies that were put on this earth to be their child, whether they physically birthed them or not. Though Chris and I were blessed enough to have children very easily, I assure you that the struggles of infertility are not lost on me. As someone who is grieving a loss, I certainly understand the “shit timing,” as one commenter appropriately called it, of diving timing.
As a faithful person, I do believe that everything happens as it is supposed to happen, and I can’t apologize for that belief. But faithful or not, I know that when and if things happen can be a very difficult thing to face – whether it is in the birth of a child or the death of a parent.
Please know that my intent on this blog is never to push beliefs on people, to generalize human conditions, or to minimize the silent challenges that some of us face. I try very hard to make sure my words come from a place of love, kindness, humor, inclusiveness, and grace.
Or, at the very least, that I don’t sound like a giant jackass.
On Friday I failed at that, and I’m really glad that some of you pointed it out to me in a very understanding tone. I know I probably would not have been so understanding. Thanks for showing me how powerful words can be, and for giving me a chance to say that I’m really sorry.