So, Chris and I have been fighting for two days. But we only just ACTUALLY spoke about it tonight. And by spoke, I mean he said he was mad, I got mad for him being mad, we slammed some doors, then went to Bean’s Christmas concert at school, smiled with the other parents like everything was fine, came home and put the kids to bed together, and then sat on opposite ends of the couch pouting until bedtime.
All very mature, highly functioning stuff.
I have two versions of the fight to tell you. First is the version that I want to tell. The second is the real version.
Chris got mad at me because I went out to dinner with a girlfriend last night and left him at home with the kids, EVEN THOUGH I didn’t leave the house until they were fed, bathed, and in bed. Then, instead of talking to me about the fact that he was mad, he just pouted. I had to ask him 10 times over two days if he was mad at me for something before he finally told me.
I went out to dinner with a girlfriend and stayed out until 10:30 shopping, even though I had a lot of schoolwork and some other important things to take care of. Then I woke up at 5:30 this morning, and woke up the entire house and demanded they all get dressed and ready to go early so that I could finish all the crap that I didn’t finish the night before because I was out shopping. Finally, when I got home and asked Chris one more time what was wrong, he said, “I think you were just being a little irresponsible last night.”
Cue the door slamming, not speaking, awkward Christmas concert, couch sitting.
In retrospect, a few things went wrong. First, I was irresponsible. And I paid for that when I woke up at 5:30 this morning panicked about the 5,000 things I had to do that day that I wasn’t ready for. Secondly, Chris should have spoken up about what was bothering him.
About half an hour ago, Chris brought me a bowl of popcorn. Food exchange is our international symbol for, “Truce. Let’s not fight anymore.” And I accepted it and ate it with my feet in his lap while we watched TV. Which is our international symbol for, “Deal.”
Marriage is a funny thing, isn’t it? It simultaneously makes you a better person by keeping you in line when you need a gentle reminder, and it makes you slam doors and pout and eat “let’s not fight anymore” ice cream. So strange…