This story actually happened about six months ago. At the time, I was too embarrassed to share it. But it has become legendary in our family and I think it’s one of the funniest things ever, so I begged my sister to let me tell you all. She finally agreed today.
My sister, Ginny, started a book club with some of her friends in her Sunday school class. They were all sporadic readers, and thought that maybe a book club would help them read more regularly. The book club actually grew pretty substantially, and now it consists of 12-15 regular readers. Each month, the girls take turns selecting what the book club will read. They’ve read some really interesting and thought-provoking books so far, and Ginny has really enjoyed being involved.
The month that it was Ginny’s turn to choose a book, she was really busy. She was about to start a new job, she was six months pregnant, and her travel schedule was packed. Needless to say, she hadn’t put a whole lot of thought into her book selection. At their meeting, she announced that she thought her book club should read a book called “Fifty Shades of Grey.” She had heard a lot about it, but didn’t know what it was about.
“I thought it would be good for us to stay up with the current “Must Read” lists,” Ginny later explained. “I really thought it was a relationship book!”
So, a week goes by and Ginny still hasn’t picked up the book and she still doesn’t know what all the hype is about. Finally, she checked her book club’s Facebook page and saw all of her SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS posting and asking Ginny what the heck she had given them to read! She realized that maybe she should start reading to see what all the fuss was about.
And then… she knew.
“WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?” she screeched into my ear in a panicked phone call. “It’s my Sunday school class, Katie! MY SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS!!!!!!”
In the end, Ginny did just what anyone who knew Ginny knew she would do. Here is a transcript of the phone call she made to me a couple weeks later:
Ginny: Hey, talk to me.
Me: Okay, why?
Ginny: Because I’m walking around a sex shop and I’m eight months pregnant and people are staring.
Me: Given your current growing-a-baby situation, isn’t it a little late for a sex shop???
Ginny: Ew! No, I’m not here for me!
Me: Then who are you there for?
Ginny: My Sunday school class.
Me: This call is getting weirder. Which is saying a lot.
Ginny: Well, we have our book club meeting about “Fifty Shades” tomorrow night and I thought to lighten the mood, I’d buy us all fuzzy handcuffs.
Me: So, you made your Sunday school class read a porn book and then, to make it better, you’re going to get them all handcuffs?
Ginny: Yeah, I found ones that glow in the dark.
Me: I have to go. You’re weirding me out.
Ginny: No, stay and talk to me! People are staring.
Me: THEN PUT DOWN THE FUZZY LOVE CUFFS, FERTILE MYRTLE, AND GO HOME!
Honestly, my sister and I have had some pretty funny conversations before, but this one takes the cake. Sure enough, she bought everyone handcuffs and handed them out to her Sunday school class while they discussed “Fifty Shades of Grey.” She said they laughed for an hour and had a great time!
I can’t make this stuff up, people.