I Hate Goodbyes

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The time has come for me to say goodbye to my dearest, oldest friend.  Sarah and her sweet little family have decided to move back to our hometown in order to raise their daughter closer to family.  It is hard to blame her, considering I am living where we are because of the same idea.  Nevertheless, it is such a hard thing to say goodbye to her.

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I don’t handle goodbyes well at all.  I just avoid them.  And I’ve been doing that to Sarah.  She has spent the past few months back and forth between her house here in Orlando and our hometown as they planned and prepared to move.  But the time that she has been in Orlando, I’ve just sort of… hidden.  I haven’t seen her much in the past month, and while that hasn’t been a conscious decision, I am very aware that it is a subconscious defense mechanism.  Like, maybe if I pretend she has already gone it will make the actual goodbye a little easier.  The funny thing is that Sarah is just as terrible as goodbyes as I am, and so I think she might have been pulling away a little bit, too.  When you’re as old of friends as Sarah and I are, you just kind of know these things about each other.  Sometimes even before the other person realizes it.

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Sarah and I spent most of high school together, we went away to college together, and then I moved to Connecticut.  We went for almost seven years without living close to each other, and while it is never fun to be far away from your friends, I am trying to remember that we somehow managed to keep our friendship alive and kicking through that absence.  But living so close together for the past three years has spoiled me.  I’ve grown used to her just being around.  We worked at the same school together, we lived in neighborhoods that were across the street from each other, we met for 5:00am runs and for 9:00pm trips to Target.  She stood by my side when my dad passed away, and she hasn’t missed one birthday of either of my kids.  When invitations for family functions go out, Sarah is on the list right there beside my very own sister.

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Friendship knows no distance, and I know that.  But, Lord, how I’m going to miss seeing her face every day.  I’ll miss her sweet husband, Scott, and his even sweeter heart.  And I’ll miss beautiful Sadie Bug and her big blue eyes.  I’ll miss her entire family and the special place they have created right here in our lives.

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My friendship with Sarah will always be one of the most important relationships in my life.  It has to be.  She knows more secrets about me than anyone else – if I piss her off, I’m in real trouble!  And though the simplicity of our friendship – the cookies dropped off for no particular reason, the knocks on my front door, the spontaneous trips to Barnes and Noble – might fade as she leaves, the rich fullness her friendship brings to me will not fade a bit.

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Sarah, I wish you, Scott and Sadie all the best in your new home.  I will miss you more than I can even put into words, my friend.  Now, let’s pretend you never read this and I never wrote this and you can just leave tomorrow and I’ll call you this weekend like normal.  Okay, good.  xoxo

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7 Thoughts to “I Hate Goodbyes”

  1. aw, this is so sweet. I think you don’t need to say good bye…it’s just a see you later. Because it sounds like you will remain as close as you have ever been.

  2. Michelle

    Moving back to your hometown- that means the same state, right? So hopefully you can see eachother on a semi-regular basis, although I know that’s tough with kids and families.
    I have two best friends- one I’ve known since we were five, the other since we were 12. Our friendships have survived two of us moving to different states so now we’re scattered all over the US, but that’s the beauty of social media these days: we can easily keep in touch and share pictures, videos and things happening in our lives via the internet. I know it’s not the same as having them right down the street- but it sure helps take the sting of distance away a little.
    Sending you hugs- I know this is a tough time but your friendship has survived distance before- I think it will continue to be strong!

  3. One of my BFFs here in California (we interned at Walt Disney World in Orlando together 6 years ago and I was SO happy when she moved to LA 2 years ago) is moving away this weekend too! Friends moving away stinks. At least since she’s moving to your hometown and you/Chris have family there still, you’ll still have more opportunities to see her! But I’m sorry your friend is moving.

  4. Sonya

    Goodbyes are hard. But I do love those friendships that pick up right where you left off no matter how long you are apart.

  5. it goes to remind you how lucky you are that saying goodbye is so hard

  6. Simone

    This post brought up something I’m dreading. My best friend is about to move very close to me but only until she graduates from college next December. I know her and I am 90% sure she will be moving out of state. I’ve known her since 10th grade and being that I moved schools a lot, she is the oldest friend I have. I guess what I’m trying to say is, “I feel your pain, girl!”

  7. Jenna

    As someone who knows what it is to have that one friend who is like family … Tears and good luck to you both!

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