The Marriage Game

You ever have those things that sound like a great idea when you sign up for them, but then the closer it gets to the event, you start to wonder if you should have signed up in the first place?

Yeah.  So…

A few months ago, our minister sent an email to Chris and me asking us to participate in an event at our church that focuses on building healthy marriages.  As part of that evening, our church is bringing “The Marriage Game” to our congregation.  I think it’s supposed to be a way to peek inside other people’s marriages and see what works for other people and what doesn’t.  Since that is sort of the premise of this blog, our minister asked if Chris and I would be one of the couples that is interviewed on “The Marriage Game.”

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Immediately, I went to YouTube and found a video clip of TMG from a different church to see what exactly we were getting ready to volunteer for.  It didn’t seem too bad.  The host seemed really friendly and laid back, and he asked friendly questions that didn’t seem to put people on the spot.  The couples seemed to share just enough to be informative and interesting, without crossing any uncomfortable lines.  I didn’t see a problem at all.

But then I remembered my spouse.

Chris is not opposed to me sharing all the details of our marriage on my blog.  In fact, if you’ve been reading for a while, then you probably know that I read him every post that mentions him or our marriage before I post it and he has full, 100% veto privileges.  In the entire time I’ve been writing about our marriage, there has only been one post that he asked me not to share.  He really is a good sport.

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But sharing the information himself?  That’s a different story.  We tried that a few years ago with “The Man Cave” section of this blog and (no offense, sweetie…) it was a disaster.  Chris never posted because he was never comfortable being the one to talk about our marriage.

I figured I’d ask him about “The Marriage Game,” maybe show him the video clip, and then I’d tell our minister that we were going to pass.  But when I showed Chris the clip, he didn’t instantly say now.  In fact, he seemed a little (dare I say it????) intrigued.  So, I told him to think about it for a while, and in the next week we could check in and see how he felt.  He thought on it for a while, and finally he agreed to participate.

That was a couple months ago.

Fast forward to tonight.

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The marriage event is in November, but part of the prep work for the game is a phone call interview with the host so that we can introduce ourselves and (I’m guessing) talk about the background of our marriage so that he can get a feel for what kinds of questions to ask us during the game.  Well, that interview is tonight.  And Chris and I are both a little nervous, but for different reasons.  I’m nervous because I’m afraid I’m going to be doing all the talking and the host is going to think, “This poor husband!  He never gets a word in!” and Chris is nervous because he’s afraid I’m NOT going to do all the talking and the host is going to be like, “This poor wife!  She’s married to such a dud!”

Ahh… the balance of marriage.

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There’s also the unspoken nervousness of that fact that Chris and I are currently working through a phase in our marriage, and here we are going on a marriage game show where they are going to ask us intimate questions about how we communicate and interact with each other.  You never want to talk about something in a public forum when it isn’t the best it can possibly be, and we have definitely been better in our marriage.  But, maybe that’s a good thing.  Who knows.

So, here goes nothing. Time to under-impress the masses, friends.  Let the games begin!

(These pictures are of Bean and Chris playing rock, paper, scissors this past weekend.  They have nothing to do with nothing.  I was just out of pictures.  That’s real life, man.)

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6 Thoughts to “The Marriage Game”

  1. When I first read your post, I thought that the Marriage Game sounded like something I would back out of because why would you want to put more stress in your relationship when you are going through a rough time? Then, I watched the video and I think it all depends on your comfort level with the other couples and what your trying to get out of it. I wouldn’t go into it with the attitude of trying to impress others and I wouldn’t take it too seriously. Maybe just think of it as a fun way to get into each other’s heads and to hear about how other couples handle certain aspects of their marriage. The other thing I would worry about it is that it might turn into a comedic “roast” of each other…try to be kind.

    On another note, I’ve been trying to work on intuitive skills and reading people and that first dude in the video would rather gouge his eyes out than be there. Everyone else looks pretty comfortable to me.

  2. Cheryl

    I love real life… the rock, paper, scissors pictures are so awesome.

  3. Kat

    I think you should publish the youtube video here 🙂

  4. Well, God works in mysterious ways sometimes, right? so maybe this game thing is a good thing for you two. Who knows? you may get great feedback or ideas from other participants, you may actually realize that in comparison to other couples you are doing great! in any event, please let us know how the interview went!

  5. Honestly, people need to see and hear examples of what marriage is really like – tough times and all. People need to hear how other people work through their tough seasons. Marriage isn’t roses all the time and “happily ever after” involves at least some (or a lot) arguments, disagreements, and times where you and your spouse just don’t seem to be on the same page. Portraying the picture that everything is perfect once you’re married does everyone a disservice. Please don’t feel like you can’t contribute good advice to other people simply because your marriage isn’t in one of those “easy” times.

  6. You guys will do great! People don’t necessarily want to see a “perfect marriage.” They want to see people just like them who are learning to work through tough patches. They want to know what they are going through is normal. They want to learn from someone else that made it through the hard times. Being honest and real will only make people love you! You two will do great! 🙂

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