Where I’m Supposed to Be

We had this genius plan for how to keep Bean home all week without both Chris and I losing our jobs.  Chris was going to keep him Wednesday, my wonderful sister-in-law, Annie, was going to stay with him Thursday, and then I’d stay home on Friday.  Everybody wins!

But then God saw my plan and laughed and said, “You silly thing!  You STILL think you are in charge here?”

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And in the middle of the night last night, Chris woke up with a RAGING fever.  Like Bean, Chris runs really high fevers if he gets them, and this was one of the highest.  He was sweaty and hot and cold and it was just awful.  So, this morning, I called Annie and told her I would be staying home on Thursday and Friday to take care of both boys.  Then, I went into panic mode for about half an hour while I scrounged around to find a sub, threw together some lesson plans for the next two days, rang my hands about how much work I have been missing (though most of it has been for professional development and not for personal time), and then emailed my awesome co-worker who has been helping figure out my sub stuff while I’ve been taking care of a sick Bean for the past couple weeks.

Just as I was starting to get overcome with that anxious feeling of, “This is it!  I’m losing control of everything!” Gracie came running into my office and threw her arms around me.

“Mommy!” she squealed.  “I want Yucky Charms fo’ beckfast!”

And, just like that, I was right where I was supposed to be.

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So, I fixed breakfast for Gracie and Bean, changed into jeans, gave Chris medicine and made him drink, like, a 2 liter of Gatorade.  Then, I got Gracie dressed and took her to daycare while Bean got himself dressed.  When I got home, Bean and I ran to the grocery store for some cleaning supplies and more Gatorade.  (Fluids are in high demand around here right now…)

I have spent all morning cleaning our house from top to bottom, giving out cold medicine like it’s candy, and making sure Bean is doing all of his breathing treatments.  And I have not thought once about work.

Surprisingly, missing work has actually calmed me down a little bit.  I think having one foot at work and one foot at home was more stressful than just stopping one for a bit to get the other under control.  My classes will survive for two days without me.  Meetings can be rescheduled.  Deadlines might be missed.  But all of those things can be made up later.  Right now, I’m 100% focused on getting our house clean and my family healthy, and that is a full time job.

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In the chaos of the past few weeks, I haven’t been praying very much, other than the hurried prayers of, “Please help Michael get better.”  But I’ve seen God.  I’ve seen him throw curveballs at me in an effort to keep me focused on what really matters.  I’ve seen him in the friends and family who are calling to check on us, adding us to prayer lists, and stopping by with a casserole and a hug.  I may not have been reaching out, but like a good friend, God not only waits on me, he meets me where I am.

Priorities are no joke.  Mine are constantly tested by every day life.  And I’m thankful that even when my head gets nervous and anxious, my heart belongs to a God who knows exactly where I’m supposed to be.

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10 Thoughts to “Where I’m Supposed to Be”

  1. Alyssa

    Yucky charms, I love toddler speak.
    I’m happy to hear you are home and getting everyone on the mend. Yes, God sure does have a way of laughing at our plans. It took me a long time to realize that I’m not in control and it does no good to stress over changes in plans, that there was a reason for that change and I need to know that God can see the big picture, I only see a little way down the road.

  2. I hope both of your boys are feeling better soon!

  3. I’m glad to hear you are more at peace now and are able to stay home to take care of your sick guys. Sometimes God gives us little reminders (or big, obvious ones when we miss the small ones) about what we should be doing at a given time. I hope your guys are feeling better soon. And perhaps they’ll recover quicker if you don’t feed them “Yucky Charms” 😉

  4. Sending well wishes to your family!

  5. Oh no! Hope both of your boys feel better soon. Sullivan has the stomach flu and thank god for grandma! She is staying home with him during a stressful work week for my husband and I. And you’re right, one foot at home and one at work is constant stress. My heart is at home puking his little guts out while my head is here with my sick patients who are depending on me.

  6. Awww, I hope your guys start feeling better soon. They are lucky to have you to take care of them!

  7. HeatherM

    Juggling sick kids and work can be difficult, but once a kid gets REALLY sick, it puts everything into perspective, and it’s clear exactly where you need to be in that time. So glad God is speaking to you during such a rough time. Are either you or Chris eligible for FMLA (family medical leave act) to care for Bean? That would at least protect your jobs while you juggle all of Bean’s illness stuff. Also (and I’m asking this as a pediatric pulmonary nurse), is Bean on steroids? I don’t just mean steroid inhalers (though it sounds like he should probably be on one of those too), but also oral steroids (aka orapred/ prednisolone). I saw as a peds ICU nurse that about 80% of local pediatricians in my area do not follow current standards of practice for asthma treatment. Many kids in our area suffer a lot if preventable exacerbations until they end up in the peds ICU and are started on long-term courses of the right meds. I know most parents love their pediatricians based on their demeanor/ bedside manner, and so it can be hard to really consider if your pediatrician is giving your kid the latest standards of practice for asthma. I would encourage you to google “step therapy for asthma in children” to see current national standards of practice for asthma. One of the key features is that kids with more than one significant asthma exacerbation per year should be on a long- term steroid inhaler to prevent the exacerbations- this is the biggest thing most pediatricians still miss. I’m not saying you need to change pediatricians, but after multiple weeks of unresolved asthma exacerbations, it is a good time to start asking some of these questions about quality of care.

  8. Tabs

    Love this! As usual, thank you for sharing! Just what I needed to hear! I will be praying for all of you!!

  9. Lindsey

    Your last paragraph was exactly what I needed. I feel like the past month we’ve been struggling with our little girl being sick and since we both work, its been a constant juggle of who is staying home, how do we both get our work done, etc. Thank you for saying the words I needed to hear tonight!

  10. I’ve been practicing this whole concept this year… having both my feet in the same place at the same time. It makes life a whole lot less stressful. Right now though, I find that I get so focused in one part of my life that I forget that I need to focus on other areas too… hope everyone feels all better soon!

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