Man Down! Man Down!

So, Chris is sick.  Which is why this entire post is written as I whisper it to you.  You might think this makes me a very kind wife, keeping quiet so my lovie can sleep.  But, actually, I’m only whispering so that Chris doesn’t know I’m blogging about this.  Normally, I have a 100% Share Clause in our blogging agreement.  I show him every post that involves him before it gets published and he has 100% authority to tell me that he doesn’t want it published.  No questions asked.  

But sometimes a girl just has to get things off her chest.  So, I’m going to whisper a secret post in your imaginary ears for just a minute.  No one tell him…

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Chris and I handle sickness in two very different ways.  I’m not saying one is superior to the other, but… well, let’s just take a look at both of them, shall we? 

When I am sick, I go lay down in my bed so that I don’t bother anyone.   When Chris is sick, he lays in the living room on the couch and moans whenever someone gets in his general vicinity.  

When I am sick, I stay home from work because I know that I can get other people sick and I know how unproductive I will be.  Not to mention, I usually get over my cold quicker with rest.  When Chris is sick, he attempts to continue working, which means he takes twice as long to get better.  Which means he lays on my living room couch moaning for twice as long.

When I am sick, I try not to take too much medication because it makes me groggy and foggy headed and I usually end up feeling worse.  Gatorade, water, and chicken noodle soup are my medicine.  When Chris is sick, he takes DayQuil and NyQuil continuously around the clock for a week (because he has attempted to work and so now he is sick for a longer period of time – see how this cycle works, kids?).  This means for a week, he stumbles around our house in a complete fog as he attempts to find the living room couch where he can lay down and moan. 

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When I am sick, I don’t want to talk to anyone.  Just put me to bed and leave me alone.  I’ll be up in three days.  When Chris is sick, he suddenly wants to be around me all the time, explaining in detail every new ache and pain he is experiencing.  “My throat itches right here,” and then 20 minutes later, “Do I feel warm?  I think I’ve got a fever” (he doesn’t), and then 15 minutes after that, “I’m lightheaded and my left pinky is cramping.”

When I am sick, I always, ALWAYS assume it’s something minor, like a head cold or allergies.  When Chris is sick, he immediately declares some sort of medical mystery is taking place inside his body.  

Like I said, this is not a competition.  Neither of us are “better” sick people.  It’s just that some of us are… better to live with when we’re sick people.  

And some of us are just such damn pansies that their wives want to scream, “JUST GO LAY THE *BEEEEEEEEP* DOWN, CHRIS!!!!!!!”

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Whew.  

Well, I feel better.

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20 Thoughts to “Man Down! Man Down!”

  1. Yup. Men. They’re all the same when they’re sick. Hope he gets better soon and you retain your sanity.

  2. I KNOW! My fiance is the same way. He whines like it’s so bad he has to go to the hospital. I’m probably the worst person when he’s sick because I don’t put up with much of his whining (although I do cater to him anyway). Men!

  3. Kellee

    Yep. Sounds about right.

  4. Grandma Barnes

    Poor Chris!

  5. Alice

    Oh. He has the man flu. My husband gets it, too. And he’s a doctor 🙂

  6. Lindsey

    It’s totally a guy thing. It takes me like a month to see my husband as the manly man he is after he spends a week acting like a tulip.

    1. Maren

      OMG, me too! I just can’t take my big manly husband acting like such a baby!

  7. Michelle, mom of henry (4) and daisy (just 3!)

    SAME WAY IN OUR HOUSE!!! Amen sister for sharing- I needed to hear that I am not alone! HA! 🙂

  8. I’m the one with the man cold in our household. All the explaining every symptom is TOTALLY me. My husband is the quiet sicky.

  9. LOL!!! Thanks for that 😀

  10. You seriously have me laughing out loud which has my husband staring at me like i’m a bit off my rocker. Chris will probably not like this post, i know my husband wouldn’t like it; but i’m also quite sure it’s 100% accurate. Men are huge babies when they just have a little sniffle. I hope for your sake he starts feeling better very soon 🙂

  11. Tabs

    Oh yes. I am quite familiar with “man colds”. Oh so much fun they are.

  12. Nancy

    Oh, jeez. My husband is the same way! Over the Xmas break, we were both sick, me first, then him. I got to stay in bed for one day, then it was up and at ’em, because children need to be fed, etc. The mister, on the other hand, laid about for three days, moaning and groaning (in the living room, yes) until I got mad and yelled at him for taking up space and spreading his sickness everywhere and made him go to the bedroom. Makes me ragey just thinking about it!!

  13. I’m actually make like Chris. Except I don’t even lay on the couch. I just keep trucking until (1) I eventually feel better or (2) I am so sick I have to go to the doctor. Usually, it’s number 1. Once, when I had the full blown flu, and stayed in bed for four days, when I emerged my house was a disaster and the kitchen was a mess. It wasn’t worth four days in bed.

  14. Amy VH

    HA HA HA Katie! Many of my girl friends and I have discussed this before. 🙂

  15. Carolyn

    My husband and I have the roles reversed. I am the one who lays on the coach moaning and saying, “someone needs to take care of me” but still insisting on going to work even though I just want to lie down in bed. My husband takes off work on the first sign of sickness, rests, and usually feels better much more quickly.

  16. Becky

    smh and chuckling

  17. Wow. So this is how I find out that my husband has another wife somewhere.

  18. Lindsay

    To add to this, as soon as I get sick, my husband always gets sick like the next day or next couple of days because he won’t stay away from me. Then of course it’s WAY worse when he has it. And of course I take care of him (and everything else) when he’s sick but for me to ask that maybe the house not fall completely apart while i take to my death bed, well that’s just asking way too much. Can you tell I’m just getting over a weekend of sickness? 🙂

  19. I KNOW! It’s so hard to speak nice when you are irritated! I’m finishing up today a week long discussion on “How to Speak LOVE into your Marriage.” It’s been fun experimenting with these 5 ideas!

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