My first Mother’s Day was super special to me. I hadn’t even had Bean yet. After an insane day of nesting and spontaneously needing to clean things that I had never felt the need to clean before in my entire life…
…I promptly fell asleep on the couch where I snored and drooled for hours, the way only an eight months pregnant woman can.
When I woke up, I discovered that Chris had gone out and bought me flowers. His card said, “I love you because you are already such a good mom.”
For my second Mother’s Day, Bean was already almost a year old, and suddenly “motherhood” was more than just a word. It was a sporting event. Trying to wrangle Bean was exhausting in the most satisfying way possible.
He was into EVERYTHING, but I didn’t care. I was his momma, and I relished a day to celebrate that.
My third Mother’s Day was even more special because now I was not just Bean’s mommy, but Gracie’s, too.
I remembering thinking, “What have I done to earn all this love and joy?”
My fourth Mother’s Day, however, was not as happy. Oh, I was still showered with gifts and flowers and love and kisses. But I was also just so tired. So incredibly tired. It is terrible to admit, but I remember thinking, “If I could have anything this Mother’s Day, it would be a one-night stay at a hotel, all by myself.” It’s not that being around my kids wasn’t fun and fulfilling. It’s that being around my kids was exhausting! Trying to keep up with two of them, feed them, bathe them, disciple them, love them… it takes a lot out of you.
Last Mother’s Day was a good one, though. Motherhood wasn’t as physically exhausting as it had been with a one and two-year-old. I was able to enjoy the time with my kids. There was still the expounded energy that comes with raising children. I’m pretty sure that you never stop actively raising your children. At two and three-years-old, the time you spend with your kids takes all of your energy still, but it is active, happy energy. Full of fun and play and entertaining them just to hear them laugh. It was a good Mother’s Day and a great year to be a mom.
This year, though, was the best so far. This year, for the first time since I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day, it was RELAXING. I didn’t know that would ever happen. I certainly didn’t think it would happen this soon.
We went out to my favorite breakfast spot, and I didn’t have to cut anyone’s food or talk someone through a temper tantrum. I didn’t have to turn myself into a one-woman comedy show to keep them entertained or quiet in the restaurant. They just hung out with Chris and me. They played and told silly stories and made silly faces and kissed my nose every now and then.
(this is Gracie’s mush-mash, just like Daddy’s)
When we got home, we put on our bathing suits and I didn’t have to help anyone! We came in the house and they immediately ran to their rooms and changed themselves! It was a Mother’s Day miracle! We spent the afternoon playing in the pool and on the deck, and I didn’t have to entertain anyone. They played with each other and with Molly, and only came to check in with me when they needed a spontaneous kiss or two.
I EVEN GOT TO READ MY BOOK, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
That afternoon, we all took three hours naps and woke up happy, refreshed, and HUNGRY. We cooked dinner together as a family, and when bedtime rolled around, there were no battles or tears. It was an effortless Mother’s Day.
(These are their pirate faces…)
Sometimes I worry about my kids getting older. I worry that they won’t need me or want me around. I worry that they won’t snuggle me or kiss me. I worry about who I will take care of and how I will interact with my kids if I’m not needed in the way that they have always needed me before. And then I have days like today, and I realize that motherhood is not just a word or even a sporting event. Motherhood is an adventure. And much like any adventure, I may not know what the road ahead will bring, but I know that I am on this adventure with three pretty amazing people. And that makes me a very happy mother, today and every day.