When God is Tired of Our Prayers
This morning I woke up to headlines that made me sick to my stomach. Â 20 people killed at a gay nightclub. Â And not in some far away, remote, Podunk town. Â It was right here. Â In my own city. Â I headed to church with my family and by the time the service was over, the death toll had risen to over 50.
Like so many others, I scrolled through Facebook to account for friends, to read breaking headlines, and to share in the sorrow of our “City Beautiful.” Â But as I scrolled, I became more and more infuriated at what I saw. Â “Prayers for Orlando.” Â “Praying for Orlando.” Â “Praying for the victims.” Â “Praying for the LGBT community.” Â Even I changed my profile to a picture of a rainbow flag with the words, “Pray for Orlando” written across it.
Praying, praying, praying.
Have you heard that joke about the guy who drowned in his home during a bad storm and floor? Â He prayed for God to save him. Â A neighbor came to help, a police officer came to help, a helicopter came to help, and still the man sat there praying. Â When he finally drowned and went to heaven, he asked God why he didn’t save him and God said, “I sent you a neighbor, a police man, and a helicopter. Â What more did you want?!”
I feel like we are sitting in that house right now.  God is sending us what we need to save ourselves, but we are all just throwing our hands up saying, “Hear our prayers.”  You know what?  He has heard our prayers.  He has heard them and provided gun reform laws.  And yet, we continue to wring our hands and we pray.  And we pray.  And we pray.
I’m pretty sure God is tired of those helpless prayers right now. Â Short of God Himself coming down and personally taking guns away from people, I’m not sure what everyone is waiting for.
I sat in church this morning and prayed, like so many others, for my city. Â For my country. Â And God said to me, “I’ve given you a gift of communication. Â The gift of swift words and a big ass mouth. Â Do something.”
So, here is my action. Â Here is my letter to my Governor:
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Dear Governor Scott,
My name is Katie Brown. Â I live in Orlando with my high school sweetheart husband and our two beautiful children, ages five and seven. Â And this morning, I sat in a church pew with my neighbors and wept for the hate that has engulfed our city.
Mr. Governor, gun law reform is needed.  It was needed yesterday.  It is needed today.  And it will be needed tomorrow.
I am not your typical gun reform supporter.  For one thing, I’m a white, Bible-thumping, Southern Republican (though, full confession, I consider myself more “politically homeless” these days as I see my party making decisions that I simply cannot support).  My family has roots in Tennessee, the Carolinas, Georgia, and now Florida.  My relatives have hunting lodges in the mountains and Civil War muskets hanging on the walls of their formal living rooms.  I married a boy whose family is from the Gulf Coast of Florida and Alabama.  They are beer-drinking, church-going, conservative people.  As am I.
But more than those Southern roots, more than our love of the outdoors, more than our love of our nation, is our love of our neighbors as ourselves. Â And, sir, I cannot love my neighbor completely if I am not protecting him from evil souls who walk into nightclubs, concerts, theaters, and, God help us, schools with guns and ammunition strapped to them.
In addition to being a Southern conservative, I am also a public school teacher. Â And once a quarter, I am required to line my students up in a corner of my classroom so that we can simulate a school shooter situation. Â My job is to keep them quiet, keep them alert, keep them safe. Â And as I stand there by my classroom door, waiting for my school administrator to come walking through and rattle the doorknob to make sure I have safely locked my twenty-two students away from the simulated shooter, I silently pray over those children. Â And here is what I pray:
“Lord, let every child in this room know they are loved. Â Let every child in this room know they are precious. Â Keep them safe in Your care and in mine. Â Protect them from senseless violence. Â Protect them from coldblooded violence. Â And, Father God, keep the guns away from them.”
But, after years of praying over those middle school babies of mine, after years of waking up to news headlines declaring yet another record breaking shooting spree, after years of heartbreak and silence, I have to tell you… I’m done praying, sir.
Gun reform laws are not the be-all-end-all solution to violence and hatred, but they are a step in the right direction. Â I can remember when seat belt laws were passed in the state of Florida and my dad just about went through the roof. Â “They can’t make me wear a seat belt! Â It’s my choice if I wear a seat belt!” Â And he wasn’t alone. Â Many people were against the initial seat belt laws, but they were passed anyways to make some sort of effort to protect the people. Â Seat belt laws do not prevent every injury or death related to car accidents. Â However, I believe we can all agree that seat belts are better than nothing.
Mr. Governor, gun reform laws are better than nothing.
I don’t know which side of the aisle my political views place me these days.  That aisle becomes wider and wider as the years go on.  But I do know that I believe at the core of the government’s responsibilities to her people is the responsibility to protect them.  I support military funding, I support the police, I support our justice and judicial systems, like so many other conservatives in our great state.  But I can’t support those policies without supporting also the changing of our gun laws to protect our citizens in the very basic, most grassroots of places.  In their hometowns.  In their religious institutions.  In their nightclubs, theaters, schools, and public events.  What good is funding an abstract threat across the world when I’m scared to sit in a church pew in my neighborhood?
My husband works with a large LGBT population, and this morning, as we came home from church with our family, we are sitting in a heavy silence while we wait to hear who has been affected by this tragedy in an Orlando nightclub. Â And as I sit here, praying that God will give peace and healing to our community, I feel the anger surging through my veins. Â This is not a hopeless situation. Â Because to be hopeless means there is no answer or solution.
Governor Scott, there is an answer. Â There is something that can be done. Â And the blood of those who have been killed is on all of our hands, sir. Â It is time to do something. Â To do anything. Â And as a leader in a time of such horrific violence, we are looking to you to lead.
Sincerely,
Katie Brown
28 Comments
Kate
Thanks for writing this, Katie. Florida has experienced tremendous tragedy in the last 48 hours, beginning with Christina Grimmie’s death on Friday night. She was from my hometown, attended my church, and our town is just reeling with the news of her shooting. Then, to make matters even worse, an additional 50 precious lives were taken last night. It’s utterly sickening.
I teach 3rd grade, and this year (thankfully after the kids had gone home), we experienced our first real lockdown. There was a teenager outside of our building with a gun, waving it around as a suicide attempt because he wanted to die in an act of police violence. As I sat, huddled in my tiny coat closet, alone, with the lights off, hearing yelling and screaming from outside, I couldn’t help but wonder what our world is coming to. School is supposed to be a safe place where students can learn and teachers can teach without fear of gun violence. Much of our school population was terrified to return to the building that following day after the lockdown.
All that rambling is to say that I agree with you 100%. I’m grieving with you at the lives that were lost. You’re right – prayer only goes so far. We need to do something about this!
Katherine
So well written. Thank you for sharing. (And, as a liberal white northerner, also thank you for the reminder that all those who identify as conservative Republicans do not identify with the current Republican rhetoric.)
Jamie
God bless you, Katie, with your swift words and big ass mouth. If anyone was blessed with the power to change hearts and minds in a positive way, it was you. From far away, I will pray that your leaders have the courage to listen and take action against these senseless, preventable acts of violence.
Jen C
Beautifully written. My 5 year old saw the news this morning and he asked if this was a movie. To him, things like this only exist in the safe realm of Marvel, not real life. Then he asked “What happens if that happens to us at the grocery store today?” It’s a difficult conversation to have with children who are so unassuming and innocent but this morning we had to sit down and talk about what to do if something like this ever happens. It is time for action.
Abbey
I’ve read your blog for a while but do you honestly think that criminals won’t be able to get guns with gun control laws? The only people who won’t be able to obtain a gun are law abiding citizens. I think something needs to be done but unarming America is not the answer.
Katie
I don’t know, but it’s worth a try.
Jenny
In my country we have very tight gun control laws, as in even to get a gun for hunting you an extensive police interview of you and people who know you.
And, guess what? we have practically no gun violence. Off the top of my head I can think of one incidence of a shooting in the past 5 years.
I think it is quite a clear answer.
Kimberly Sparks
While I agree that something needs to be done, I am not sure it is anything that we as human beings can even control. The world needs God. The world needs to love others. The world needs to rid itself of its hatred for those not like themselves. So, in a way, I think that some times prayer is the only thing we can cling to. While I respect your stance, I don’t agree that we stop praying to God and take control ourselves. In 1 Thessalonians it tells us to pray without ceasing. I feel that God wants us to rely on him. We should rely on him fully and in every circumstance. And we need to open our ears, eyes and hearts to discern what He is telling us and take action in our community to spread the hope and love of Jesus. He is not hate. He is love.
My opinion may not be the most popular and a lot of others may disagree with me. And I hope that how I have presented this is not hurtful or disrespectful in any way to anyone. With that all said, I applaud you for standing up and taking action. My heart goes out to all those affected by this tragic and senseless event.
Katie
Beautifully said and well received, friend. xoxo
Emma
Thank you so much for writing this.
Anna
Dear Katie,
thank you so much for this post. I suspect that you and I have very different political and religious views on many things, but this is an issue where we agree completely. I wish it weren’t so hard in the current political situation to pick out issues that have such clear priority and come to some sort of acceptable consensus on them, across the aisle. Like you, I’m feeling politically homeless at the moment, frustrated by election after election of feeling like I’m forced to choose between “bad” and “worse”. And, even worse, it feels like the overwhelming majority of politicians are contributing far more to the divide getting even bigger than to finding consensus and working together to rule the country in the best interest of its people. Are we, as citizens, really so different and so far apart that we can’t seem to agree on anything at all anymore these days? I find that hard to believe, and your post gives me a little bit of hope that we might find our way back to talking to each other and seriously considering compromise after all. Now if only our elected officials could join in….
Trisha
Beautifully said. This somewhat conservative Southern Republican living in the midwestern part of the US agrees with you 100%. I don’t have a home politically right now either. I just know that I’m sick of waking up in the morning to more senseless deaths. Something has to be done…NOW.
ELW
Well said! As a teacher, conservative, and sister & aunt to family in Orlando, thank you for writing this letter.
Ron
That we should love our neighbors and work to reduce violence, on this we can agree. But… What is the “something” that must done?
Honestly, tell me what you think would have prevented this tragedy.
I hope that anger does not come though on my post. I am not angry. I am frustrated that every time there is a shooting the instrument gets blamed even though we know the proposed gun control would harm only me and other law abiding citizens and have been proven to have little or no effect on crime.
Katie
Oh, my friend. I wish someone had the answer to your question. I certainly don’t. The only solution I have is that change must happen. And it can start with gun reform. Because in the absence of that change, we just sit and spew on blogs and social media. My husband and I were talking tonight and we just kept asking, “But what can we DO? What do we DO?” I think as a nation, we have to start opening ourselves up to trying something new regarding automatic weapons. Will it prevent everything? No, but, to me, it would be a step in the right direction.
Thank you for your thoughts and different opinions. Neither of us is 100% right, but it’s in the compromise where lives will be saved.
Ron
So far as the media is reporting, his weapon was not an automatic. If it was, I assure it was illegally converted to automatic. No new automatic rifles have been available for civilian purchase since May 19, 1986.
Katie
You are right. I meant assault, not automatic. Though, I have to say that arguing over semantics seems to be trivial at this point. Shall I say, “a big effing gun” instead?
Bess
Beautifully said. I am a 5th grade teacher, and having to explain to students why we have lockdown drills is one of the worst parts of my job. This post reminds me of the message you spoke a while back about meeting God halfway, because we love Him, we should, and we can. How can we be the hands and feet of Christ and not act when God opens our eyes to solutions? People will always find ways to do evil, but with God’s help, we can make positive changes, regardless of how small or seemingly ineffective they may seem. Our children deserve our efforts. Assault rifles were not around when the constitution was written, and shouldn’t be in the hands of ordinary citizens.
I’m sure your words will make a difference, as they always do. Thank you.
RachelC
I couldn’t agree with this post more. It is sickening to see this happen again and again and idly sit by with the rest of our nation waiting for the next incident. Something has to change and I applaud your effort and will join you by writing to my governor as well.
Gretchen
Mic drop!
Hear hear, Katie. Thank you for DOING something.
Elena
Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for your words. They mirror my thoughts exactly. We have got to do something because doing nothing sure as heck isn’t working.
Sandra
Thank you Katie. Your post and all your written replies demonstrate what a passionate, kind and thoughtful person you are. Your voice is certainly doing something.
Anne
well spoken! (a first time commenter…)
Meghan
Really well spoken, and I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve always been in favor of strict and wide gun control laws, but now that I’ve lived in Europe for 2 years and I watch reports of the horrific violence that goes on in the US over. and over. and over, I just can’t come to an understanding of why, as a society, we are so adamantly opposed to trying new tactics to limit gun violence. Why does it seem that America values easy access to guns over human lives? The people in Orlando…..the people killed everyday by domestic violence……the horrific number of shootings in Chicago over Memorial Day weekend….WHY? And why do so many people I know say “Enough is enough” but NOTHING IS HAPPENING? What do we all need to be doing to make the change that, it seems, so many of us want?
As an aside, the New York Times illustrated how rare gun death rates are in most Westernized countries compared to America. It is startling and really puts into concrete examples just how high America’s gun death rates are (make sure to read the clarifications in the article so you understand how they arrived at these comparisons, it makes the case much stronger). Here’s the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/14/upshot/compare-these-gun-death-rates-the-us-is-in-a-different-world.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=span-abc-region®ion=span-abc-region&WT.nav=span-abc-region
Nastasia
Beautifully said. Thank you. There are many ways in which you and I are different, but it is the most important things that unites us: we are both mamas who want a safer world for everyone’s babies, new and grown.
Jenna
You’re a good one, Katie. I’m proud to “know” you.
Amanda H
Chills and tears. You write beautifully and powerfully. Thank you for using your words, your love and your faith.
Joke
Reading this from another continent where we just don’t understand why the gun laws in the US are the way they are… The law-abiding citizens with the guns never seem to be there “to protect and defend” when the tragedies happen? Sincerely hope you find a way forward that ensures criminals don’t have such easy access to these instruments.There are law-abiding citizens with guns on my continent too, it’s just that the laws are different… and that the amount of shootings is a lot lower and children don’t need to be taught what to do in case of a lockdown.
Standing with you during these tough times.