About Beanie | Marriage Confessions About Beanie

Up until now, Gracie and Bean have been pretty great together. He really loved showing her his toys and she was crazy about him. But then last weekend, Gracie started to crawl.

And Bean’s life changed forever.

Now, Gracie can get into his stuff. And if he moves it away from her, she can crawl over to it again. Bean doesn’t know what the crap is going on, but he knows he is not happy about it. He’s started doing this really funny thing when he sees Gracie coming towards one of his treasures. He throws himself down on top of his toys and covers them with his entire body, while yelling out, “NO, GWAYCIE!”

Chris and I didn’t really prepare for how to handle sibling rivalry. We had parenting talks about discipline and setting boundaries and potty training and religion and all that other important stuff. But we never really put a game plan together for sibling rivalry. We’ve been shooting from the hip for the past week, and, so far, we’ve actually got a pretty good system going.

Whenever Gracie starts getting all over Bean and his toys, we don’t go remove Gracie from the situation. It would be easy for us to just walk over when Bean starts freaking out and put Gracie somewhere else, but the fact is that Bean and Gracie are going to be playing together for a looooooong time, so Bean’s going to have to learn at some point how to handle sharing with her. Why not start at the very beginning?

When Bean starts yelling about Gracie taking his things, Chris and I usually say to him, “Speak nicely to her, Bean. Gracie is just a baby. She doesn’t understand.” And he actually does. He’ll stop yelling and instead use his sweet singsong voice he uses just for her. And he says things like, “No, no, Gracie. These toys aren’t for you.”

He used to snap at her and say, “No, Gracie! MINE!” But we quickly stepped in on that one. We treat the word “mine,” as a bad word in our house. If he says that word, we sharply tell him, “No, sir. We do not say that word.” That has helped with the temper tantrums this week a little bit because he has to find a different way to tell her to stop. Instead, he usually says things like, “That’s not yours, Gracie,” or “That’s not for you, Gracie.” Both of which are acceptable in our house.

We are coaching Bean verbally as he is talking to Gracie. We don’t go over to them and remove her, but we talk him through fixing the situation himself. After he has told her no, we tell him that if he doesn’t want her to play with his toys, he needs to go get her a toy that she can play with. Or, if he is hoarding all the toys (another thing that’s started happening since Gracie became mobile), we tell him he has to choose one of his toys to share with her. That seems to really help because it gives him ownership over the situation and he gets to make a decision about Gracie playing with his toys.

I know that this is just the beginning of sibling rivalry in our family. I’m sure we have years of this left ahead of us. But I figure at least we’re starting to handle it by teaching Bean HOW to handle it.

How do YOU handle sibling rivalries in your house?

17 comments | posted in About Beanie, About Gracie, parenting, Parenting Ideas, Siblings, The Romper Room | tags: parenting, sibling rivalry, siblings

This post is only about regression. The other two words are there for no rhyme or reason. Actually, they are there exactly for a rhyme, but that’s not the point. The point is that this post is about regression.

Specifically, regression of the digestion.

Specifically, regression of Bean’s digestion.

Specifically, THE KID KEEPS HAVING ACCIDENTS ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Bean has been potty trained for well over three or four months now, at least. He potty trained fairly easily. Mostly because when the time came to potty train him, I waited until I didn’t have a newborn to take care of. I also waited until the daycare was ready for him to potty train, too. There was no point in us doing it at home but then sending him to school in diapers all day. The way our daycare handles it is four kids at a time are intensively potty training. That means that they are wearing underwear, but they are constantly being taken to the bathroom until they learn. Once one of those four is officially potty trained, they move them up to the “potty trained” list and they add another un-potty trained child to the group of four. Personally, I think that’s a great system because it makes sure that the children who are learning the concept get more attention and focus. It really helped Bean.

By the time I synched up with the daycare and all parties were on board with potty training him, he was more than ready. He was asking to go potty and crying when we put him in diapers.

We went cold turkey with him pretty much. Except for nap times and bedtime, he was in a diaper all day from the time. It wasn’t long before he was able to go through nap time without having an accident, so he started staying in his underwear during that part of the day, too. And then, about a month ago, he started waking up dry in the mornings and so we decided to let him try sleeping in his underwear. He had two accidents, but that was it. And both of them happened in his doorway, as he was getting up to tell us. Ever since then, he’s been completely out of diapers.

But then randomly, two weeks ago, he started having accidents again. He would occasionally have accidents before. Not often, but occasionally if he got playing really good and didn’t want to go, he’d have an accident. But two weeks ago, he started having accidents almost every day, and sometimes multiple times in a day. And the weirdest part was that it didn’t seem to bother him. Before, if he had an accident, it was beyond the end of the world to him. He would be so upset with himself, no matter how light and cheerful Chris and I tried to make it. You could just tell he was SO disappointed when he had an accident. But lately, he doesn’t really seem bothered. Now, when I pick him up from daycare, he happily yells to me, “Mom! I poopied in my pants!”

He went through this happy thing once before and I discovered that he was happy because accidents meant he got to change into different character underwear (he’s so clever!), but we nipped that by buying several pairs of plain white underwear. Then, when he had an accident, he had to wear white underwear instead of fun underwear. That stopped those accidents in one day. But this time he doesn’t even care if he has to wear the white underwear.

When this first started, he had a little stomach bug, so I thought maybe that was the problem. But then the stomach bug cleared up and the accidents continued. I picked him up from daycare today and he had had TWO accidents already. I can’t even remember the last time he had ONE accident at daycare. Even his teacher was a little confused.

So, imaginary friends, tell me what’s going on. I know regression when potty training is fairly normal, but I’m not sure what to do about it. Do we put him back in diapers? Do we keep letting him have accidents? Do we get on to him when he has one now? Cause, I’ll tell you honestly, that’s my first reaction. I get really irritated because he KNOWS better. But then I stop and think, “Geez, Katie! The kid’s only two and a half! It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose!” Or is he????

I’m confused. Help.

25 comments | posted in About Beanie, Growing Bean, Milestones, parenting, Potty Training, The Romper Room, Toddlerhood | tags: parenting, potty training, toddlers

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So, the title of this post is a little misleading. It should really say, “B-E-A-N can M-E-M-O-R-I-Z-E,” but that doesn’t fit into my header bar. Plus, I figure that first sight words are really all about memorization, but people consider that reading. So, I’m going to count this as Bean reading.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Regardless of if it’s reading or not, it’s pretty darn cute and I was pretty darn impressed.

It’s these minor, tiny little things that he does every day that I don’t want to forget. On that list would also be the following unforgettable forgettable moments:

- This afternoon on the way home from school, Bean was wailing in the backseat because I was making him wait his turn for listening to his choice of music (side note: we take turns in the car with music, Bean gets one song and I get one song). He’s usually pretty good with this rule, but today he was not having it and so he was sobbing in the backseat while I sang along with Adele. After about five minutes of sobbing, Bean suddenly lifted his head up and said happily, “Mom! Look at my eyeball!” I busted out laughing and we talked about eyeballs all the way home.

- Bean is learning how to have conversations with people and one of his latest key phrases is, “What did you say?” He acts like he didn’t hear what you said when he’s run out of things to talk about but wants to keep the conversation going. He also says it when I ask him to pick up his toys, eat his green beans, or put his clothes in his hamper. “Mom, what did you say?” he’ll ask over and over again. And then just when I’m about to kill him, he’ll explode laughing like it’s the funniest trick to play on Mom. It’s not. But it is pretty darn adorable and I love to see him learning how to be conversational…even if it means learning how to manipulate conversations.

- He calls sneezes “snoozes.” He’ll say, “Mom, I snoozed!” Cracks me up every time. I’m laughing right now as I type.

- Bean is highly uncomfortable with me and Chris kissing. He gets really mad when Chris kisses me. He puts his hands on his hips and yells out, “DADDY! STOP KISSING MOMMY!” The other morning at breakfast, he was trying to tell Chris something while Chris kissed me good morning. Bean yelled out, “DADDY! STOP KISSING MOMMY FOR ONE SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME!” We about wet our pants over that one.

- Every night after their baths, Bean comes into Gracie’s room where I am usually reading her a book or two and he kisses us both goodnight. He gives me a big hug and kiss and then he grabs Gracie’s face and gives her a big kiss, too. It makes my heart melt.

- Bean loves hugs right now. He loves giving them and getting them. Sometimes you’ll be in the middle of playing with him and he’ll just announce, “Mom, I need a hug.” Or, he’ll be playing outside on the playground and he’ll stop and come running over because he needs a hug. My favorite though is when he is going to bed and he’s all tired and cuddly (well, relatively speaking…Bean’s about as cuddly as a cactus) and as I turn out the light and leave, he’ll say, “Mom, I need a hug first!” Even if I’ve given him ten hugs already. It’s probably just a trick to keep from going to bed, but I take the bait every time.

It seems that with two kids, they grow up exponentially faster. I can’t believe Gracie is already 10 months old and that this summer Bean will be three. Where has the time gone? How have they gotten so old? How have I gotten so old?!?!? When you look back, you remember the big things – first words, first steps, things like that. But it’s the small glimpses of our lives every day that I will really cherish. I’m so glad I have a blog that lets me chronicle the insignificant. Life is made of insignificant moments. Thanks for reading about all of mine.

27 comments | posted in About Beanie, Conversations w/ Beanie, Family, Growing Bean, Milestones, parenting, Sweet Bean, The Romper Room, Toddlerhood | tags: Family, humor, parenting, toddlers

In the past few months, dinnertime with Bean has become increasingly…um…hellish? Disastrous? Unbearable?

D. All of the above.

Bean eats like most toddlers. He has a HUGE breakfast every morning. Usually he has two bowls of cereal, a banana, a piece of toast (sometimes two), and some yogurt. He’s like He-Man in the mornings. At school he normally eats all his morning snack and most of his lunch. His afternoon snack is when he starts winding down and he’s hit or miss as to whether he actually eats any. By dinner, he is not interested in food at all.

Our pediatrician said that as long as he’s eating a balanced diet most of the day, we shouldn’t stress too much about the light dinner. And I get that. But part of eating dinner is the sitting down as a family. That’s something I want Bean to learn is part of our household routine. Also, at daycare he’s getting balanced meals, but they aren’t SUPER healthy every day and dinnertime is how I make sure he gets some fresh veggies and fruit in his day. So, while I don’t require him to eat everything, he does have to sit at the table with us and eat a little bit.

And, therein lies the challenge.

I have been struggling with how to get Bean to eat without ruining dinner with temper tantrums (no small feat, I assure you…). Most of the time, he’s pretty good. I let him bring one toy to the table as long as he eats his dinner while the toy is there. Our dessert rule is that if Bean cleans his WHOLE plate, he gets a cookie. That actually rarely happens. Normally, he pokes at his meal for about half the meal while he talks to me and Chris. When he’s tired of sitting there (usually after 20 minutes), he asks to get down. If he hasn’t eaten enough, I ask him to take two or three bites and then he can get down. If he’s eaten a fair amount, I let him get down and tell him how much we enjoyed having him at the dinner table.

But there are those special nights when nothing works. He won’t eat anything and dinner looks like it’s going to be an epic fail in about 10 seconds. On those nights, we play The Game.

I accidentally came up with The Game one night when I was frustrated with Bean not eating his dinner. He had one of his toys on the table and I took it away from him because he wasn’t eating. When he asked nicely if he could have it back, I told him he could have it if be took one bite of veggies and one bite of chicken. He laughed like that was the greatest game in the whole world. So, I ran out to the living room and grabbed a handful of his favorite toys and put them in a bowl. Then, we started playing The Game.

The Rules:
- Bean can’t see what toys are in the bowl. It adds to the surprise when I pull one out.
- The toys much be pulled out with as much drama as possible. Extra points for silliness.
- The payment for each toy is based on the “value” of the toy to Bean. So, if it’s one of his favorite toys, he has to eat more food.
- The game ends when all the food is gone (which means I sometimes have to do several rounds in the living room collecting more toys) or whenever Bean gets fidgety.
- We only play the game once a week, at the most. It’s the novelty that makes it so fun to Bean.

Tonight I pulled The Game out because Bean hasn’t eaten a solid dinner for three nights now. This time, I had Chris video the beginning so you could see how it goes.

Getting toddlers to eat has to be one of the greatest parenting challenges. On those nights when I’m positive Bean is going to shrivel up and starve if he doesn’t eat dinner, this is my go-to game.

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