Changes | Marriage Confessions Changes | Laugh. Fight. Stay Married.

Its been quite a weekend at our house. Â We spent Saturday afternoon driving a 12 passenger van from New Haven to Plymouth, MA for the wedding of our good friends. Â It was bittersweet for us. Â We were all so happy to see Jack and Melissa (finally!) tie the knot. Â She looked beautiful. Â He looked happy. Â Both so in love. Â But at the same time, it was also sort of a sad night. Â It was the last night that all of our friends will be in town before everyone moves away as they start jobs and life after graduate school. Â We’ve made so many wonderful friends while we’ve been here, and last night was the perfect ending to three perfect years and the beginning of long-lasting friendships.

The crew at the wedding in Plymouth, MA

We drove back home last night after the wedding and finally walked in the door at 3:00 AM. Â We were exhausted…but our night was not yet over. Â When Chris went to feed the dogs, he noticed a large lump on Lucy’s neck. Â We had been watching two smaller nodules on her lower back for about a week, but we had seen these kinds of lumps before and had been told by our vet that they were fat pockets so we hadn’t really taken much action for them. Â Then, Saturday morning before we left for the wedding, we noticed she had a larger one on the back of her neck. Â It was large and hard and we immediately called the vet. Â The vet made an appointment to see her on Thursday.

When we came home at 3:00 AM Sunday morning though, the lump on the back of her neck had almost doubled in size and there was a new, much larger lump on her neck. Â It looked like she had golf balls under her skin. Â She was obviously hurting and so we called the emergency vet clinic. Â They asked us to bring her in immediately to make sure that the lumps weren’t affecting any organs or her ability to breathe. Â The vet drew blood from the lumps, and said that it wasn’t a bacterial infection and that without further tests, she couldn’t really tell us what was wrong. Â For now, we were instructed to give her Benedryl to see if it was some kind of allergy and to take her to our vet first thing on Monday. Â Throughout the day today, two more large lumps have appeared and the one on her chest has almost doubled in size. Â It is really horrible and scary, but I’m trying to just focus on the positive – namely that cancerous tumors don’t typically multiply or grow that fast.

But then there’s Chris. Â For some reason, this thing with Lucy has him completely devastated. Â He has just been walking around the house worrying about her all day. Â He must have asked me 500 times if I thought we should take her back to the emergency clinic. Â Now, everyone knows how I feel about Lucy. Â She’s honestly like my first born child. Â I can’t imagine loving anything else more. Â But emergency clinics are EXPENSIVE! Â It’s $150 just to walk in the door, and that doesn’t include the x-rays, blood samples, etc. Â Its not the kind of place you want to just drop into. Â Besides, we’ve already been and they’ve done all they can until we see our regular vet. Â But for Chris, this just isn’t enough. Â I’m fully convinced if he could hire a dog whisperer today he would have.

I am wondering though if this sudden pessimism is ALL about the dog, or if some of it is just his lack of sleep from last night and the anxiety of starting his new job tomorrow morning. Â That’s right, its his first day at work tomorrow! Â I’m so excited because I know he is going to be great. Â But Chris is a little more hesitant. Â Every time I ask him if he’s excited about it, he just says, “I don’t know what tomorrow is going to be like.” Â I’m sure it is just first-day jitters and I’m trying to be supportive, but its been like living with Dr. Doom today.

I better get back out to the living room before Chris decides to pack up Lucy and take her to a clinic in Mexico…

1 comments | posted in Around the House, Changes, Jobs and Careers, Lucy, Marriage, Marriage Confessions | tags: careers, disease, dogs, lumps, Marriage, pessimism, Relationships

After 3 years of grad school, I am so proud to say that Chris has finally graduated from the Yale School of Drama! WOO HOO!!! I have ever been more proud of anyone in my entire life. And to make this time even more special for him so many special people showed up to support him throughout the weekend. Other than my own wedding day, I have never felt so much love in one place before. Family and friends really went above and beyond to rain down love on both Chris and me this weekend. I think that is what I will remember the most from this incredible weekend.

We had 17 people in town to celebrate with us. Chris and I had a very strict schedule planned for the weekend in order to keep things moving along smoothly, and it went incredibly well.

Friday night, Chris’ Mom and her boyfriend, Charles, Chris’ sister, Annie, and my family all got into town. We went out to dinner for pizza and enjoyed being with the smallest group of people we’d have all weekend.

On Saturday, we took the entire crew who had all arrived in town (17 people total) to New York for the day. The original plan was that we would all split up and do our own thing in smaller groups and then just meet up for dinner. But when I mentioned taking my side of the family to China Town, everyone decided to go! We took the entire crew (minus two who decided to go all athletic on us and walk the Brooklyn Bridge!!) to China Town and we didn’t lose one single person. Personally, I contribute this to excellent planning by the event coordinator (that would be yours truly) but instead I think it might be because it was so darn crowded you could only move about 3 ft. per 5 minutes. Its hard to loose people when they are morphed together by small, Chinese people.

That night for dinner we went to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in the Theater District, Angus McIndoe (if you go, try the salmon with apple stuffing – WOW!). A few friends from New York joined us for dinner and let me tell you – the wine was flowing. We had a wonderful, alcohol-induced love fest. By the end of the night we were all friends. Didn’t matter that we were technically three different families. Didn’t matter that several of us were divorced or in a family world war. That night we were all there for Chris and you really felt that at the table.

Once we got back into New Haven on Sunday, we spent the day walking around the campus and showing the family where and what we’ve been doing for the past three years. And then, of course, on Monday was THE DAY. I think the pictures speak for themselves. Can you see the relief in mine and Chris’ face?

Granddaddy and Grandma Brown, Chris, and me

My sister, Ginny, Me, Chris, and Chris’ sister, Annie

Chris with my family

Chris, his sister, his mom, and me

OUR Family

It was a perfect weekend. And I can’t tell you how relieved that Chris and I feel. It literally feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. While the weight of Chris going through school wasn’t on me, there was the constant pressure of being the only source of income, of wondering what would come next for us, of being chained to an academic schedule. I was really surprised how much pressure I was feeling. I didn’t realize it truly until this weekend when the weight lifted. I was almost lightheaded at some points.

And I cried. I told you that I would. I couldn’t help it. Chris looked so handsome in his cap and gown, and Yale is just so regal and majestic in their traditions that seeing Chris walk through gates that have seen over 300 graduating classes before, well, it would make anyone cry. But what happy tears!

I tell you something. I have sometimes thought about writing a book about mine and Chris’ relationship – something similar to what this blog is but the full story, starting all the way back when we were 15 years old. And while there are many reasons that this idea is truly a pie-in-the-sky thought, the most significant reason I can’t write this book is because stories are supposed to have ups and downs. There are supposed to be conflicts and resolutions. Fall outs and make ups. Fairy tales always have a dragon or evil queen in them, but so far Chris and I have just been blessed with roses and rainbows. I keep expecting a poisoned apple to fall in our paths, but we’ve been witch-free for 3 years. Now this doesn’t mean we don’t have our hang-ups and breakdowns. But we’ve weathered them, lived through them, learned from them, and moved on. I’m so full of happiness right now that I can’t wait to jump into the next phase of our lives. A new house! Chris’ new job! Maybe a baby eventually? Whatever that next phase is, I’m so ready for it.

4 comments | posted in Changes, Family, Jobs and Careers, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, New Haven, Yale | tags: Family, graduation, Marriage, Relationships, theater, Yale

Well, Dear Readers, here it is. Our house. Our cute, little, cape cod house in Connecticut. Isn’t it just the most adorable thing in the world? It’s like a little piece of heaven in Stratford, CT. Its a great house, but I had no idea how much you had to go through before buying a house.

Have you ever had that dream where you’re standing naked in front of a crowd of people? That’s pretty much what a mortgage approval feels like. You basically go to a bank, meet with the mortgage rep, and then proceed to pour your financial guts onto the table for God and everyone to see. They want salary amounts, debt amounts, loan amounts, credit reports, social security numbers, your grandmother’s birth date – everything. And then they take 48 hours to judge how much that says you are worth. I’d rather poke my eyeballs out with bamboo skewers than go through that again.

But through some miraculous twist of fate, they approved us. When our mortgage originator called us to tell us the good news, I couldn’t believe it. I almost said to her, “Did you see that Chris is in THEATER and I am in EDUCATION?” I mean, you know the real estate market is bad when the primary breadwinner is in EDUCATION and they can afford to buy!

We don’t officially own the house yet. We are still under contract, but our closing date is June 27. Mark your calendars because I will be posting one heck of a celebration post on June 27. Then I will most likely disappear for two weeks while we take care of important things like finding the right place for the tupperware and connecting the cable.

In addition to buying the house, I did manage to graduate this past weekend. My incredible and crazy family made it up to celebrate with us, which was so above and beyond because they will all fly up here in two weeks for Chris’ graduation, too.

My Dad, Chris, Me, My Mom, and My Sister, Ginny

Can you see the relief in my face?

My favorite study-buddy.

All in all, its been a pretty good month so far. We’ll celebrate Chris’ graduation and his getting a fantastic job in two weeks when everyone and their mother (literally) will be in town as he graduates from Yale Drama. But for now, I’m trying to allow myself to stay in the moment. To be excited about what I have accomplished with my masters degree, and to relish the fact that Chris and I are on the road to homeownership.

I am also allowing myself to think of all the hardwood floors that Molly will now be able to chew and scratch. It’s a beautiful house, but what were we thinking? We just bought a house made of wood for our giant, fat headed lab to destroy. What are you gonna do though? Home is where the dogs live.

5 comments | posted in Around the House, Changes, Jobs and Careers, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Yale | tags: Connecticut, first time home buyers, graduation, home buying