It is hard enough to get Chris up and dressed for church. He hates church clothes. Its not like I make him wear a tie. I don’t even make him wear a belt, for crying out loud! All I ask is for some kind of shirt to be tucked into some kind of shorts and for his face to be cleaned with some kind of wet cloth. But the act of getting up early on the weekend gets enough of a razz out of him. Making him wear church clothes on top of getting up early on the weekend?
Well, lets just say I usually have to pray for forgiveness when we finally get to church.
Now that the Bean is here, its double the hassle of Sunday mornings because Beanie now seems to be rebelling against church clothes, too.
Much like his father, Beanie yelled at me the entire time I got him dressed for church. Not crying. Yelling.
“MOM! WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR OVERALLS??? DAD’S NOT WEARING THEM!!”
“I know, Beanie,” I said. “But your dad is a lost, heathen soul in casual clothing. Now, hold still and smile for the camera.”
“I will not smile. I want to be a lost, heathen soul in casual clothing like dad!”
“No, Beanie. You cannot be a lost, heathen soul in casual clothing. Now. Look how cute you look!”
“Please let it be stated for the record that I object to these plaid overalls,” said Beanie. “And this collared shirt.”
“Be quiet, Beanie, or I’ll make you put on socks and shoes, too.”
Way to set an example, Chris. Way to set an example.
03Aug
“Whoa there, Beanie.”
“What?” he says.
“What happened to your hair, buddy?” I ask.
“Do you like it? Dad and me did it,” says Beanie.
“Uhhh….”
“Dad thinks it looks great,” says Beanie.
“He does, huh?”
“Yeah, he does.”
“Well, its definitely something new. Do you think you’ll do your hair like this every day, Beanie?”
“Nah,” he says. “Dad says I might scare the chicks away.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s probably true.”
“But I liked hanging out with Dad,” said Beanie. “Maybe next time we could just watch TV though and leave the hair to you.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Good idea.”
02Aug
“Hey, Beanie. Wanna hear a joke?” I ask.
“Sure,” Beanie says.
“Knock, knock.”
“Whose there?”
“Dewey.”
“Dewey who?”
“Dewey have to keep telling knock knock jokes?”
“Bwahahahaha!!!”
“Oh, Mom. You’re so funny.”
“Thanks, Beanie.”
31Jul
“Hey, Beanie.” I say.
“Yes, Mom?”
“You’ve got some awesome man boobies going on there, buddy.”
“Oh, Mom,” laughed the Beanie. “Those aren’t man boobies.”
“Oh, no?” I ask.
“No, silly,” said the Bean. “Those are my pecks.”
“Aren’t pecks supposed to be…more…firm?” I asked.
“Not mine,” he said. “Mine are special floppy pecks.”
“Ohhh,” I said. “Well, then how about that belly of yours?”
“Low blow, Mom,” said Beanie. “Low blow.”
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