21Sep
“Dude.”
“What is it, Beanie?”
“Something weird is going on below my ankles.”
“Those are your feet,” I said. “Remember we talked about those a couple weeks ago when you were sick?”
“Oh, yeah!” said Beanie. “So, these things talk, huh?”
“That’s not all they do,” I said. “You use your feet to walk.”
“Walk?” said Beanie. “You mean you’re not going to just carry me everywhere for the rest of my life?”
“No way, Beanie! You’re heavy!”
“Well, if I’m heavy then how are my feet supposed to hold me up?” he asked.
“Your feet are super strong, Beanie,” I said. “They will hold you up your whole life. So be sure you take good care of them.”
“Hmm…” he said.
“What is it, Beanie?”
“Well, what if I didn’t want to use my feet all the time? What if I wanted you to carry me my whole life?”
“Oh, that’s so sweet, Beanie. But you’re going to go lots of places in your life that I won’t be able to take you.”
“Like where?” he asked.
“Well, like college. Or your first job,” I said.
“You can’t take me those places?”
“No, Beanie. I can’t,” I say. “But I’ll stand beside you every step of the way.”
“Okay,” he said. “I guess my feet will just have to do.”
“Yep,” I said. “I guess so.”
20Sep
“Hey, Mom,” said Beanie.
“Hey, Beanie.”
“What do you think of my comb-over look?”
“I have always liked your comb-over, Beanie.”
“Yeah?” he said. “You don’t think I look like Donald Trump?”
“Hmm…” I said, thinking it over.
“Just a little like The Donald?”
“No, Beanie,” I said. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, I do,” said Beanie. “I’m thinking about changing my look.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said.
“Yeah. What do you think about this, Mom?”
“Whoa, Beanie.”
“Don’t you think I look like a European rock star?” he asked.
“Well…I don’t know Beanie…”
“You don’t think so, Mom?” he said.
“Well, you’re a little young to be a rock star from any country, Beanie.”
“Oh, Mom,” he said. “You’re so out of touch. People of all ages are getting discovered now, thanks to the internet. Just put me on YouTube and let’s see what happens.”
“I don’t think so, Beanie,” I said.
“But MOM!” he shouted. “I’M EUROPEAN! It’s different!”
“I don’t care, Beanie. You’re too little to be exploited on the internet.”
“Well, what about your blog, Mom?”
(crickets, crickets, crickets)
“Go to your room, Bean.”
“Fine,” he sighed. “Ring me on the telly when I can come out, Mum.”
15Sep
“Mom!” yelled Beanie. “Someone flipped me over!”
“I know, Beanie,” I said. “I put you on your tummy so that you could learn how to roll yourself over.”
“But Mom,” said Beanie. “I hate being on my tummy!”
“I know, Buddy, but you really need to learn how to roll over.”
“How come I have to learn to roll over?” asked Beanie.
“Well….um…..I don’t really know,” I stumble. “Its just what you’re supposed to learn how to do.”
“Well that’s just silly, Mom,” said Beanie. “Now, flip me back over!”
“No, Beanie. You have to spend some time on your tummy today.”
“Fine! Then I’ll just chew on this blanket right here until you flip me back over,” said Beanie.
“Oh, Beanie, stop sucking on that!” I say.
“Alright,” said Beanie. “Then I’ll just suck on this hand right here.”
“Beanie! Alright! Fine! You win!” I said. “I’ll flip you back over.”
“Hey! Look Mom!” yelled Beanie. “I rolled over.”
“Nice try.”
08Sep
“Mom,” said Beanie. “How come I’m home from school today?”
“Well, Beanie,” I said. “You’re running a little fever and you’ve got a nasty cold so your dad and I thought you should stay home today.”
“So, what do we do when we stay home from school?” asked Beanie.
“This is pretty much it, Beanie,” I said. “We just sit here and rest until you feel better.”
“We just sit here? All day long?” said Beanie.
“Well, we probably wouldn’t have to sit here for so long if you’d keep your socks on and your feet covered,” I said.
“Nah,” said Beanie. “My feet aren’t sick.”
“How do you know?” I asked Beanie.
“Because they aren’t sneezing, Mooooom,” said Beanie. “Duh!”
“But what if they are sneezing and you just can’t hear them?” I ask.
“Oh!” said Beanie. “I hadn’t even thought about that!”
“Yep,” I said. “Your feet can talk, but they are so far away from your ears that you usually can’t hear them.”
“Well, what are they saying?” Beanie asks.
“Cover me up!” I sang. “And put me in socks!”
“Wow!” said Beanie. “My feet sure are bossy.”
“They have to be, Beanie,” I said. “Otherwise, whose going to point you in the right direction?”
Beanie thought about this for a second.
“I better go put on socks,” he said. “I don’t want to get lost.”
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