12Mar
Oh, what’s this?
Oh, I know what this is! It works that talking box thing. I bet I could get it to work. But first, I have to get out from under this table.
Shoot.
This is exhausting. I think I’ll just rest for a minute.
Oh, now I’m out! Look what I did!
Mom! Look at this! I’m loose!
Now, about that talking box thing…
“Hey, Gracie,” I said. “Whatcha wearin’?”
“Oh, do you like it? I call it my Little House on the Prairie ensemble.”
“Hmm…it’s very…uh…”
“Do you like the ruffled collar?” Gracie asked. “I really like the ruffled collar.”
“It’s…um…”
“Or maybe it’s too much. Ruffles were in last season, but maybe they’ve gone out this season…” she said. “What do you think, Mom?”
“It’s…uhhh…”
“Fashion these days is evolutionary, Mom. It’s cyclical. I mean, what was in last week will be out again this week, but might be in again next week. You know?”
“Oh…I…uh…I didn’t…” I stammered. “Are you sure ruffled collars are in again?”
“Oh, I’m sure. They’re so very ‘Paw-asked-me-to-milk-a-cow.’ Milking cows all the rage right now.”
“Uhhh…ummm… Are you positive, Puffalump?” I squeaked.
“GOTCHA MOM!” Gracie laughed. “You’re such an easy target!”
“So, you don’t really think ruffled collars are in style?” I said, relieved.
“Heck, no!” Gracie giggled. “Nana gave me this thing. I can’t decide what to do with it. Is it a nightgown or an outfit?”
“I’m not really sure,” I said.
“Maybe it’s a Halloween costume!” Gracie guessed. “I could go as an Amish girl!”
“Does this mean you are going to be wearing this ruffled collar until Halloween?” I asked.
“No, Mom,” Gracie laughed. “Just until my blue metallic parachute pants come in from Amazon.”
(crickets, crickets)
“GOTCHA AGAIN, MOM!”
21Nov
“Gracie,” said Chris. “I think it’s time we cut your nails.”
“Say whaaaaa?”
“Now, don’t freak out. It’s not that big of a deal. Just give me your hand and sit really still.”
“Oh, that sounds easy,” Gracie said. “Here, let me help you…”
“No, Gracie. Just let me do it. I can’t see over your head,” said Chris.
“No, Dad! I wanna do it!”
“Gracie, look at me.”
“Whaaaat Daaaad?” Gracie whined.
“Please let me do this. It will be over in two seconds, I promise.”
“Well…I dunno…”
“Here, I’ll do the first one and you’ll see how easy it is.”
(snip, snip)
“OWWW!!!” cried Gracie.
“OWWW!!!” cried Chris. “Don’t bite me!”
“You started it!” whined Gracie. “I’m telling Mom!”
“Go ahead and tell her,” laughed Chris.
“Mom! Dad’s attacking my fingers!”
“I’m sorry, Puffalump,” I said. “But I can’t help you. Your finger nails are like claws. It’s time to cut them.”
“Et tu, Mom?”
30Aug
“Oh,” she said. “Hi, Mom.”
“Whatcha doing, Big Girl?”
“Oh, I’m just hanging out after my baaaa…. HELP! HELP! MY DUCKY TOWEL IS ATTACKING ME!”
“Whoa, there!” I said. “Here, let me help you.”
“Oh, that’s better. Thanks, Mom.”
“No problem.”
“Ducks are so silly!”
“Yes, they are!” I agreed.
“Mom, can I have a duck?”
“I don’t think so, Puffalump. We have enough living things in our house right now.”
“But, MOM!” Gracie laughed. “Ducks aren’t living things!”
“What are you talking about, Graciekins?”
“Shhhhh… Come close and let me tell you a secret about ducks…”
“Okay,” I whispered, leaning closer. “Tell me a secret about ducks.”
“Ducks are just toots with feathers!”
“Uhhh…Gracie?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“You tell weird jokes.”
“Thanks.”
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