A couple weeks ago, I opened the blog up to questions from readers and good golly Miss Molly did you all come through! It has taken me three posts to get all of those questions answered (click the links for Parts One and Two), but I think this might be the last of the questions for now. So, let’s get going…
If you could pick a song for ‘Bean’ – as in his own theme song – what would it be? What would you pick for your own ‘theme song’? From Heather
What a fun question! I haven’t ever thought about it before! And I’ll tell you, I had to think long and hard about it before I came up with answer, too. For Bean, it would have to be the theme song from the Andy Griffith show. You know the one they whistle? Yep. That one. Sometimes when I see him sitting there, just checking things out, taking things in, smiling from ear to ear, I can just hear that happy little song in the back of my mind. Its such an upbeat and happy song. Just like Bean.
For my theme song, I think I’d have to pick “What a Wonderful World,” by Louis Armstong. There are days (sometimes weeks) when I just don’t see the wonder in anything, but for the most part I really, really try to find the beautiful in the everyday. I think that philosophy keeps me happy.
You mention your friends a little on this blog, but I wondered how your socializing has changed now that you have the Bean? You seem so busy how do friends fit in to it all? Have you met many new parents like yourself since Bean was born? From Rachel
Chris and I have always been really different than our core group of close friends. We got married so much younger, we both have salaried jobs and IRA’s, we are homeowners, and now we’re parents. That isn’t to say we have accomplished and more or any less than any of them, its just that we have different sets of goals and priorities. Most of our friends are artists and actors and musicians and film makers who are incredibly successful in their areas and are loving where they are in their own lives. What keeps us all connected and close is that regardless of what our goals and priorities are, we are all passionate about them individually and as a group. Chris and I are as excited for our friends when one of them gets a movie produced or a recording contract as they are for us when we buy houses and have our baby christened. That passion and commitment to each other and to all of our achievements keeps us close friends. And my best friend, Emily, lives out in Los Angeles where she does something corporate and fancy that I don’t understand. I don’t get to see her often anymore, but we continue to be there for each other simply by staying interested in each others new lives. Its hard when you aren’t in the same place as your friends, but I think any good friend makes the effort it takes to stay connected.
When we had Bean, we really worried about how this would change our friendships. More than any other change we’d gone through or differences we had, this one would be the most significant because it was changing our lifestyle. But, like always, our friends have been been nothing but 100% supportive of our new life as parents. We still have the core group of friends up from New York to spend weekends with us. We still drink and play and laugh (though I stopped drinking for the most part when Bean was born – more out of exhaustion than any moral stance) like we did before. I think the key to maintaining friendships with those friends who have different lifestyles than you – whether that difference is children or otherwise – is to make them apart of your new life. Take, for example, my pregnancy. Chris really wanted to keep our closest friends around and apart of that time, even though they had no idea what the hell was going on. So, he threw a baby shower for me. Only, to keep it as an event that our single friends could enjoy, there were no shower games and no baby gifts. Instead, we ate good food, played with the Wii, and drank beer out of mini bottles in honor of the baby. Well, I didn’t. They did. I think we try to make sure that we are inclusive in our family. Sure, we lead a very different life than the majority of our friends, but our life is very approachable. Anyone who comes into our home is welcome and invited to join us as family. And that means that you might have to sit through a slide show of Bean’s latest pictures and you might have to hold him while I run to the bathroom, but that also means that when we sit around our dinner table and give thanks for family, you are part of that. And I think that is what keeps our friendships strong.
Timing has been an issue for us in balancing our friendships. The truth is that now, we’re just freaking tired! Its hard to stay up late because we know we have to get up so early. And its hard to go out because babysitters aren’t cheap. So, it isn’t as easy for us to just up and go out on a whim like we used to and that has kept us out of more than a few things that our friends have done. But that’s just part of us having a baby. There’s nothing we can do about it and so we try to not let us bother us. Our friends don’t really mind. They know its harder for us now, but I think they appreciate the effort that we do make even more now.
As for friendships with people who have kids, we have started making more of those in the past year or so. Some of them were made when Chris started grad school at Yale. Most of the guys in his program had wives who were in similar situations as us, and so that helped form good friendships, some of which have become GREAT friendships over the years. And as we have all grown up and had babies of our own, we’re become even closer. I am learning to value these friendships so much more because it IS different to have a baby now and it IS really nice to have someone who understands to bounce ideas and frustrations off of. Like, see the little girl in this picture there with her mom and dad? I was there the day her mom went into labor with her and I was there in the hospital the week she was born. Its so funny to see your friendship marked by the growth of a child. Craziness. And see that beautiful, blonde preggo lady in the back row there? She was one of the first people who knew I was pregnant and now she’s getting ready to have a little baby girl of her own (who Bean is, appropriately, betrothed to marry…)
And I will certainly miss those friends when we move…
Did your friends and parents always assume that you and Chris would stay together and eventually get married while you two were dating during high school? From Angela
Oh, Lord. If you had told anyone we knew in high school that Chris and I would have gotten married they all would have laughed – us included! Chris and I were an odd match in high school. He was part of the drama club. I was president of the senior class. He skipped school every other day. I organized pep rallies for Homecoming. We were just a strange couple. But we were crazy about each other. And, as it turned out, Chris was crazy about LOTS of girls in high school! Lots of ‘em! And so I took our relationship with a giant dose of reality. The chances of us staying together though homeroom were slim. Staying together through our senior year was out of the question. And college? LONG DISTANCE? Blah. So, the idea of us being so happily married now and coming through those years (which we refer to now as Chris’ “Glory Days”) shocks ME more than anyone else.
The thing about Chris and I when we were younger was that I just knew he was capable of being a bigger person than he was acting like. Even at a young age, I knew that if he could just outgrow this stage in his life, then he would really be something. I just had to wait it out. And I thought he was worth waiting for. Today, he is the person that I saw underneath all that crap in high school and early in college. He is honest and loyal and a damn good friend. He puts other people before himself. He is responsible and has a drive and determination that makes people around him want to do better. He likes being around new things and new people. And he still gives me butterflies when he smiles at me.
So, while at the time it seemed like a crazy thought that we would make it, looking back now I don’t see how it could have worked out any differently. We are the people we are today because we’ve had each other in our lives.
I would love to know what has been the best part of being a mom and the hardest part. From Caitlin
I think this would vary from parent to parent and child to child, but for me the hardest part of being a mom is guilt. I struggle with guilt on a daily basis. For me, it usually isn’t the I’m-not-good-enough guilt, though that doubt sometimes creeps in. Mostly, it is comparing myself to others. Its when I see a mom staying home with her baby and I feel guilty because I haven’t been able to give that to Bean. Or that feeling of guilt I have when Bean is crying in his crib at 5:00 AM and I lay there just a little too long and Chris gets up to get him. That kind of guilt is most prevalent. That feeling of, “I could have/should have done that for Bean…” But the thing I am learning is that there will ALWAYS be something else I could or should do for him. That’s why they call parental love endless. Because there are an endless number of ways to show you love your baby. But it doesn’t mean that I love him one ounce less if I can’t do it all by myself all the time. It sounds so simple and easy when I write it out, but I struggle with that every day.
The best part of being a mom is definitely being the mom. Being the one who he looks for in crowds and being the one he holds his arms up to when he’s fallen down or tumbled over. Being the one he snuggles with at bedtime and the one who know when he’s about to flip his lid. Being the one who just knows is the best part of being a mom. The best part of being Bean’s mom.
If you had to go back and change anything about how you’ve raised Bean so far, would you change anything? From Emily
Its hard to have any regrets so far because Bean is so young, but if I had to choose, I might say Bean’s dependency on his swing. Bean can’t fall asleep during the day without his swing. But he is getting HUGE in it. So huge that the swing barely moves when he’s in it. But he won’t nap anywhere else. If I had to change anything, I would change that. Although, it is really nice to have one place where we know we can get a good 2 hour nap out of him if we need it!
Where in Florida are you from? I’m in Pensacola and the background of your pictures looks familiar. From Lena
Good eye! Chris and I are originally from Gulf Breeze, Florida. For those who aren’t familiar with the Gulf Coast, Gulf Breeze is a barrier peninsula off of Pensacola, FL. It was a great place to grow up – beaches, small town, lots to do, great schools. We loved it and still love visiting. Chris’ family still lives there, but my family moved away the year I went away to college.
Do you ever regret any of the decisions that have led you to such a busy and full life? Sometimes even now, as a SAHM, I feel like my days (and my son’s days too) seem just TOO full. From Jenny
This is a really great, honest question. And it deserves an honest answer, and that is that, yes, I sometimes feel like my days are too full and I sometimes regret the schedule that I have created for myself. Working full-time is a given and something that I can’t change. But blogging and social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) is something I bring on myself. I read an article in the New York Times by someone who chastised mothers who spent too much time online and not enough time face-to-face with their kids. The article (found HERE) got a lot of flack in the online world of mommy bloggers, but I had to admit that I sort of saw her point. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know first-hand how important online communities are when its 4 in the morning and you can’t figure out how to make your baby stop crying. They are VERY important. But I think her point was that there should be a line, a balance, between your real life and your online life.
After reading that article, I have really tried to keep that in my head as I work to balance everything. As much as possible, Chris and I try to give Bean our 100% attention during the too few hours we have with him each working day. When we get home from work, we have a couple hours with him before he goes to bed and we devote that time to him completely. We try not to be on the phone, on the computer, on Twitter, on our iPhones – nothing. We really try to keep that time for him. Now, things come up and that isn’t always the case, but we make a valiant effort. And then once Bean goes to bed, that’s when I do my blogging and my emailing and my social networking.
As our blog has become more of a business, we have had to re-evaluate our time management on an almost daily basis. And I think that is okay. The truth is that while this is becoming a pretty good income for us, blogging is still my hobby. It is what I do for myself for fun. It is my indulgence. If it happens to make us money, well that’s just a perk. But at the core, it is still just something that makes me happy. And for that reason, I am not going to give it up. I think its important for Bean to grow up in a house as PART OF a family and not the center of the family. Does that mean that he takes a back seat to blogging? Not in a hundred years. But does it mean that I make it a priority for me to spend time doing something for myself every day? Absolutely. I think it gives me a chance to unwind and do something just for me and that is important to me as a person and as a mom. So, we work constantly on finding the place where our blogging business fits into our home life.
I have a question. Are you moving out to Santa Monica to go to Target and have brunches with me? From My BFF Emily
Sadly, no. I’m moving to Orlando to hang out with your Mom. We’ll probably talk about you behind your back and judge you for the decisions you are making in your life. You’re cool with that, right?
Do you have any advice for a couple getting ready to get married? From Claire via Facebook
I think the best advice I can give to a couple who is getting ready to get married is to remember that weddings fade, but marriages are what last. So when you get bogged down in the details of wedding planning and getting ready to blend two lives and hammering out all the details that come with this exciting and stressful stage, just try to think past all of this and focus on what makes you love your partner. Everything else will fall into place. And above all of that – just have fun! This is the beginning of such a JOYFUL time in your life!
How did you financially prepare for having a child? esp. with owning a house in CT? Were you serious about your second mortgage comment? From Ariane via Facebook
This made me laugh out loud. No, I wasn’t serious about the second mortgage comment. But it does take some fancy footwork for us to be able to afford a baby. The biggest financial stress for us has been daycare, which costs us $250 a week. Yikes! We were lucky that when we bought our house, we had the foresight to make sure we left room in our budget for any “unexpected costs,” which to Chris was a new roof and to me was a baby. But when we found out we were pregnant and we discovered the cost of being parents, we quickly realized that even the wiggle room we had left in our budget wasn’t going to be enough and so we started cutting back. I almost completely quit shopping. To this day, I can’t tell you the last time I went shopping and bought something for myself that wasn’t an absolutely necessary purchase. Chris started car pooling in to work every day. And I started meal planning and clipping coupons, which saves us a lot every week at the grocery store. That was also about the time we decided to turn the blog into a small business and that has also helped us afford expenses for Bean. I mean, its not easy for anyone to suddenly have a change in their financial situation, whether its a baby that brings on the change or not. But, like most people, we just did what we had to do to make it work.
When do you guys think (if you will) you will have another beautiful baby? From Chelsea via Facebook
Just as soon as I can get Chris naked again.
Just kidding. Kind of. I’d like to have at least one more and, ideally, two more (although Chris isn’t quite on board with three…yet). And the time line is still being hammered out with management.
What was your time line with Chris? From Bridget via Facebook
Age 15 – Started dating (and then broke up, and then started dating, and then broke up, and then started dating…)
Age 18 – Went away to separate colleges
Age 20 – Got engaged on a trip to New York with Chris over Christmas
Age 22 – Got married
Age 22 – Moved to Connecticut for Chris to attend grad school
Age 25 – We both graduated with our masters
Age 25 – We bought our first house
Age 26 – Preggo!
Age 27 – We birthed a bean
Whew! I think that wraps up the questions – finally! The only ones that I haven’t answered (I think!) are the ones about blogging specifically. By far, that was the most common type of question that I got – how to blog, how to grow your blog, why I blog, etc. I have tried writing posts about that in the past and I have tried writing posts about that in these past few weeks in response to the Q&A post, but they are really hard questions to answer because, like individuals, every blog is different.
SO… For the first time ever, Chris and I will be holding a live online video chat session THIS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10, AT 8:00 PM EST. Wednesday afternoon I’ll post the video conferencing link and you all can join us for a live discussion about blogging. You don’t need a webcam, as you will just be able to see us and we won’t be able to see anyone else. But you can type your questions in and we’ll answer them in person. We are super excited about inviting you guys into our home and chatting with you about something that we enjoy so much. Hopefully, we’ll get everyone’s questions answered. Be sure to check in on Wednesday to the MC Facebook Group, Twitter, or the blog for log-in information.
Thanks so much for all of your questions. We’ll be sure to do it again sometime!
(To see Part I with the first round of questions, click HERE.)
I wanted to find out where you used those plane tickets! You had the chance to go anywhere that airline flies, and I don’t think we ever heard where you picked or if you ever made it. From Lisa
Lisa is talking about mine and Chris’ graduation presents from my aunt and uncle. Airline tickets to anywhere in the world we wanted to go. (Read about our top 5 list HERE) We actually found out we were pregnant not long after we finally got our finances in order to take a trip. I didn’t think it was a good time for us to go jetsetting off somewhere in my condition. In hindsight, that was ridiculously stupid of me and I would go in a heartbeat if I had it to do over again. But, it was my first pregnancy and I was worried that if I needed any kind of medical attention, it might be hard to find in the middle of the Italian countryside. We had narrowed it down though and we were going to go to Machu Picchu. Ahhh….
How do you keep your house clean with the working full time, blog, and baby? Do you and Chris split chores 50/50, do you have someone come clean your house? Any insight on how to handle baby/job/dirty house? From Betty
Oh, goodness. Are you barkin’ up the wrong tree, missy. I am terrrrrible with the house cleaning. I really like things to be neat and tidy, but I could really care less if they are clean. Chris, on the other hand, could live with piles of crap all around him, but if there was a spot of dirt, he would be totally beside himself. We actually make a good pair. Generally, the housework gets done on a daily basis. We try (try being the important word here…) to at least pick up and straighten up the house at the end of the day after Bean has gone to bed. And we actually do a pretty good job of that. We get the actual cleaning done on the weekends. Usually Sunday mornings/afternoons because Saturdays are spent running errands. Our typical list of chores on the weekends includes vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, changing everyone’s sheets, and laundry. Any other deep cleaning gets done on an as needed basis.
As for splitting our chores, I wouldn’t say we necessarily split them. But we definitely have our specific roles. Chris, for example, is the weekday cleaner for the most part. Generally, once I put Bean down and we’ve eaten dinner, I sit down to blog for a couple hours. And that’s when Chris picks up and does the dishes and things like that. On the weekends, it is usually me that does the cleaning. Though, Chris pitches in a fair amount by doing things like cleaning his bathroom (we have separate bathrooms…it has saved our marriage many times…). I’m the vacuum and duster. Bean mops.
I think the trick to managing a household when you have a young baby, a blog, and a full-time job, is routine. Having a pretty set routine (especially during the week) helps us get things done and it also helps because we know typically who is doing what chores. But the BEST way to balance everything is to cut yourself some slack. If the laundry doesn’t get done until you’re out of clean underwear, well, it just doesn’t get done. If the dogs need a bath but you just didn’t get to it (again…), just let that go. Sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day and beating yourself up to keep a perfect house on top of everything else will just drive you crazy!
How do you handle meal planning? From Amy
Meal planning is new to me. I started doing it when Bean was born because we needed to save some money. I did a big post about it a while ago, but here’s a refresher course in a nutshell:
On Sundays I sit down with my cookbooks and I plan what we are going to eat that week. Usually I try to balance between simple meals (like a meat, a green veggie, and a starch) and meals that are a little more hearty (like a casserole or a stew). I generally keep enough things in the house for a simple meal at all times, so I add anything that I need to restock for a simple meal to my grocery list and then I add the ingredients for our heartier meals, which usually have ingredients that I might not keep on hand. Then, I take my grocery list and I go through my coupons and pull out any coupons I have for anything on my list. I don’t take my coupon book to the grocery store with me because I usually end up buying things I don’t really need just because I have a coupon for them. I cut our grocery bill in half shopping this way and it actually makes me happy to meal plan. It appeals to my list-making nature. Makes me feel organized and in control.
There are a few things that we keep in the house at all times and those products we buy in bulk at BJ’s Wholesale (like a Sam’s Club). The list of things we buy there is actually expanding because we tend to be creatures of habit for some things. My BJ’s list includes pasta and spaghetti sauce, canned diced tomatoes, canned veggies, soft drinks, bread (I freeze what I don’t use right away), steamer bags of veggies (these are just easy to use in a pinch), Chris’ chewing gum (because he’s addicted), hot dogs (because I’m addicted), meat (which Chris repackages and we freeze in individual servings), Bean’s formula and diapers, trash bags, dish detergent, laundry detergent, bottled water, and batteries (for Bean’s toys and swing). That trip usually costs us between $150 and $200 a month, depending on what products we need to replenish that month. I don’t know that we save any money when we shop at BJ’s, but the convenience of having those staples in our house is a good trade off for me.
Most parents picture their kids becoming doctors, lawyers, even astronauts. If you and Chris could pick an ideal career for the Bean, what would it be? From Rachel
Oh, man. I don’t know. (Chris is sitting next to me right now chanting, “as-tro-naut…as-tro-naut…”) I really don’t care what a person’s day job is, so long as they are loyal to it, happy with it, and better because of it. Otherwise, he can be anything he wants to be.
Except a pimp. I’d have issues with that.
I wondered how your socializing has changed now that you have the Bean? You seem so busy how do friends fit in to it all? Have you met many new parents like yourself since Bean was born? From Another Rachel
Our socializing has changed since we have had Bean, but I think it was in the process of changing when we found out we were pregnant anyways so its hard to say if we are just in a different place now or if it has been Bean. Whatever the reason, our social lives have become more family oriented. We have always been a little on the homebody side, but we now go out and do things with just our family that we might normally had included lots of people in before. I can’t speak for Chris, but I know that I just enjoy Chris and Bean more now. I think that is one of the unexpected parts of being a parent and becoming parents. Bean changes so fast and learns so much that every day is new at our house. Even things like going out to a restaurant are different every time we go, and that keeps it exciting for Chris and I. So, while we do still see our friends on a normal basis, we are definitely enjoying the time with our family.
Plus, with busy schedules like we have at our house, our down time is even more valuable now. Having a Saturday night or a Sunday afternoon to do anything we want is priceless and we sometimes spend that downtime with friends, we would rather take the time to connect with each other. Working all week, we really only get a couple hours in the evening with Bean so weekends we get to soak him up.
Is the iphone easy to type on? Do you eventually get used to the touch screen? From HeJo
It is really different than a normal keypad. But I’ve had it for about a week now and I actually am getting used to it. It isn’t as much of a problem as I thought it would be.
I was just wondering how you made that decision to get engaged so young? Did you discuss this before he proposed? From Caitlin
I don’t think there was an actual decision to get married, really. I think we both just assumed that was where we were headed. But our sophomore year in college we started talking about it more practically. Not so much about when we’d get engaged, but when we’d get married, where we’d live, how many kids we wanted. Chris really surprised me when he proposed. I wanted to get engaged soon, but Chris seemed like he wanted to wait a while. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he proposed! It shocked me, but at the same time I had been waiting for it. The whole ordeal just felt very organic for us. Not forced or planned. It just seemed like that was where we wanted to go next.
When is your sister getting married? We haven’t heard about her in a while, and I don’t think she updates her blog(haven’t checked in a while)? Are you the MOH? From Jordan
My sister is getting married on April 24 and I am her matron of honor. MATRON. What an awful word!!! But, sooner than the wedding is the bachelorette party in New York in a few weeks that I am planning. For the record, I am the WORST person to plan this weekend! I am such a homebody and for all the jokes I make, I really am not a drinker at all. And I am responsible for entertaining a group of sorority girls who can party till the cows come home. I AM NOT QUALIFIED FOR THIS!! But I’ve got a pretty good schedule for the weekend:
Friday afternoon/evening – Broadway show, dinner at a pizza and beer place, then out on the town
Saturday – Breakfast, lingerie shower at an undisclosed location (it’ll be so great!), dinner at a tapas bar, then out to this crazy fun bar (I can’t tell you much about it because its a secret and Ginny reads this blog, but I’ll tell you about it afterward)
Sunday – Big send off brunch!
So, yeah. That’s all coming up soon and I am really excited about it. YAY GINNY AND JOHN MICHAEL!!!!!
We’re about halfway through all of your questions from the Q&A post last week. Check back over the next couple weeks for Parts III and IV (…and maybe V and VI..!!).
08Feb
Sunday was a crazy day in our family. We got up early, not because we had to but because Bean doesn’t know that on Saturday mornings, Mommy and Daddy like to sleep until noon. We’re working on that. But it looks like it might be a while before that memo makes it to Bean’s desk.
So, we were up early and we packed up in the car and headed to New York for the day to visit friends. I love going to New York. Its one of my favorite places. I’ve never been when we did the same thing twice. So many options, so little time! But this trip was not for lolly gagging. This trip was to meet and greet. And my first meet and greet?
It was with these two ladies…
See Stephanie in the middle there? She has a blog called Queen of Quirky. I first “met” Stephanie when she emailed me to ask if I would be interested in guest blogging on her site. I was and I did and I had a splendid time. Stephanie was visiting her friend, Melissa, in New York and she emailed to see if I’d like to meet for lunch.
But of course! Mainly to meet Stephanie, but also slightly because most meals on Sundays in New York involve mimosas.
Stephanie was nice enough to bring Melissa along and I was happy to find that Melissa is a blogger, too. She has a really cute blog called Single Gal in the City that focuses on dating life. It was the first time I’d ever met other bloggers in real life and I had a blast! Who else can you geek out with about things like comment moderation and advertising sponsorships?
Oh, yeah. Chris and Bean came, too. They geeked out together over Bean’s high chair toys.
After a really wonderful and insightful lunch with new friends, Chris, Bean, and I jumped back in our car and trucked it over to Brooklyn to see some friends for a little while since we were in the city. I’m sorry to admit this, but it was my first time in Brooklyn. And I fell in love.
It had adorable little apartments…
And my favorite kinds of food…
And gorgeous views looking back across the river into Manhattan…
And just when I thought it couldn’t get any cuter, I went into our friends’, Brett and Linda’s, apartment and was blown away with cuteness.
The cuteness of Brett and Linda dancing with Beaner. (Check out that white man’s overbite…)
The cuteness of Uncle Gary’s soft, hairy face.
The cuteness of Bean just hanging with us in the living room.
As fun as it has been to see Chris and I go from husband and wife to daddy and mommy…
It has been almost as fun watching our friends turn into uncles, too.
Changes are coming to our little family. Changes that will take us to places that we’ve never been and down paths we have never crossed. And while all these changes are stressful and sometimes overwhelming, it is so wonderful to be able to look to our friends – old friends who have been there since the very beginning and new friends who have joined us along the way – and know that every new change we encounter and every new path we venture down will be paved with their unconditional love and support.
And that makes it just a little bit easier to breathe sometimes.
07Oct
This is my best friend, Emily.
Isn’t she pretty? And the best part about Em is that she’s even prettier on the inside, if you can imagine. But more than being pretty inside and out, Emily is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life. She might be the funniest.
Emily and I met at my very first adult job in college. She actually hired me. We were legal assistants at a prominent law firm in Tallahassee, Florida, with dreams of big legal careers in front of us. Emily and I worked for different attorneys and our offices were around the corner from each other. In order to chat during the work day, we sent each other instant messages. We couldn’t see each other from our desks, but I would send an instant message to her and then I’d wait. About 30 seconds later, I’d hear Emily snickering at her desk. Which would make me start to laugh. Then, about 30 seconds after that, a hysterical instant message from Emily would pop up on my computer screen and I’d bust out in silent giggles.
It was a game for us. See who could make the other one laugh out loud. Emily always won.
Eventually, the office manager at the firm caught on to our shinanigans and decided to split us up. Emily was moved downstairs to a different office and I stayed upstairs. But our instant messages continued. Only now, I’d send an instant message to her and about 30 seconds later my desk phone would ring. When I answered, all I’d hear was Emily snickering hysterically on the other end. She never said anything. Just laughed and hung up. A few minutes later a message from Emily would pop up on my screen, I’d call her, and die laughing as quietly as possible.
This was how we spent our days.
We were star employees.
Its been many years since Em and I worked together. We haven’t even lived in the same state since college. But we continue to keep our friendship alive and kickin’ through phone calls, letters, visits, and emails. But mostly, we keep in touch through instant messaging. A couple afternoons a week at work, I’ll get an instant message from Emily. And they are still the same. We still make fun of celebrities. We still complain about boys. We still try to spell out our bodily noises.
But the other day, Emily broke her own record. She outdid herself.
Without going into too much detail, I was expecting a ballerina from the New York City Ballet at work one day last week. It was a male dancer. Which you would think is funny enough in itself, but you just hold your horses. It gets so much better.
So, earlier that day I sent an instant message to Emily telling her about my male dancer guest. When I got to the train station to pick up the guest, it was hard not to notice how short he was. I mean, really, really short. Shorter than me and I’m 5’5. I know it was wrong, but I immediately sent a text message to Emily saying, “My male dancer is really short!”
A couple minutes later, I’m riding in the car with the male dancer when my cell phone rings.
“Hello?” I say.
“HOLD ME CLOSER, TINY DAAAANCER!” Emily sings out.
I didn’t know what to do. He was sitting RIGHT THERE. And, just like at work, I had to try to stifle my laugh as much as possible.
“Oh, hi,” I say in my forced professional voice. “Can I call you back later today?”
“COUNT THE HEADLIGHTS ON THE HIIIIIIIGHWAY!!!”
“Okay, great. I’ll call you later.”
“LAY ME DOWN IN SHEET OF LIIIIINEN!”
“Bye, Em.”
“YOU HAD A BUSY DAY TODAAAAAY!!”
Its reassuring to know that even though we live completely separate lives now, even though we live across the country from each other, Em and I can still crack each other up just as good as we did sitting around the corner from each other at the law firm in college.
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