(To see Part I with the first round of questions, click HERE.)
I wanted to find out where you used those plane tickets! You had the chance to go anywhere that airline flies, and I don’t think we ever heard where you picked or if you ever made it. From Lisa
Lisa is talking about mine and Chris’ graduation presents from my aunt and uncle. Airline tickets to anywhere in the world we wanted to go. (Read about our top 5 list HERE) We actually found out we were pregnant not long after we finally got our finances in order to take a trip. I didn’t think it was a good time for us to go jetsetting off somewhere in my condition. In hindsight, that was ridiculously stupid of me and I would go in a heartbeat if I had it to do over again. But, it was my first pregnancy and I was worried that if I needed any kind of medical attention, it might be hard to find in the middle of the Italian countryside. We had narrowed it down though and we were going to go to Machu Picchu. Ahhh….
How do you keep your house clean with the working full time, blog, and baby? Do you and Chris split chores 50/50, do you have someone come clean your house? Any insight on how to handle baby/job/dirty house? From Betty
Oh, goodness. Are you barkin’ up the wrong tree, missy. I am terrrrrible with the house cleaning. I really like things to be neat and tidy, but I could really care less if they are clean. Chris, on the other hand, could live with piles of crap all around him, but if there was a spot of dirt, he would be totally beside himself. We actually make a good pair. Generally, the housework gets done on a daily basis. We try (try being the important word here…) to at least pick up and straighten up the house at the end of the day after Bean has gone to bed. And we actually do a pretty good job of that. We get the actual cleaning done on the weekends. Usually Sunday mornings/afternoons because Saturdays are spent running errands. Our typical list of chores on the weekends includes vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, changing everyone’s sheets, and laundry. Any other deep cleaning gets done on an as needed basis.
As for splitting our chores, I wouldn’t say we necessarily split them. But we definitely have our specific roles. Chris, for example, is the weekday cleaner for the most part. Generally, once I put Bean down and we’ve eaten dinner, I sit down to blog for a couple hours. And that’s when Chris picks up and does the dishes and things like that. On the weekends, it is usually me that does the cleaning. Though, Chris pitches in a fair amount by doing things like cleaning his bathroom (we have separate bathrooms…it has saved our marriage many times…). I’m the vacuum and duster. Bean mops.
I think the trick to managing a household when you have a young baby, a blog, and a full-time job, is routine. Having a pretty set routine (especially during the week) helps us get things done and it also helps because we know typically who is doing what chores. But the BEST way to balance everything is to cut yourself some slack. If the laundry doesn’t get done until you’re out of clean underwear, well, it just doesn’t get done. If the dogs need a bath but you just didn’t get to it (again…), just let that go. Sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day and beating yourself up to keep a perfect house on top of everything else will just drive you crazy!
How do you handle meal planning? From Amy
Meal planning is new to me. I started doing it when Bean was born because we needed to save some money. I did a big post about it a while ago, but here’s a refresher course in a nutshell:
On Sundays I sit down with my cookbooks and I plan what we are going to eat that week. Usually I try to balance between simple meals (like a meat, a green veggie, and a starch) and meals that are a little more hearty (like a casserole or a stew). I generally keep enough things in the house for a simple meal at all times, so I add anything that I need to restock for a simple meal to my grocery list and then I add the ingredients for our heartier meals, which usually have ingredients that I might not keep on hand. Then, I take my grocery list and I go through my coupons and pull out any coupons I have for anything on my list. I don’t take my coupon book to the grocery store with me because I usually end up buying things I don’t really need just because I have a coupon for them. I cut our grocery bill in half shopping this way and it actually makes me happy to meal plan. It appeals to my list-making nature. Makes me feel organized and in control.
There are a few things that we keep in the house at all times and those products we buy in bulk at BJ’s Wholesale (like a Sam’s Club). The list of things we buy there is actually expanding because we tend to be creatures of habit for some things. My BJ’s list includes pasta and spaghetti sauce, canned diced tomatoes, canned veggies, soft drinks, bread (I freeze what I don’t use right away), steamer bags of veggies (these are just easy to use in a pinch), Chris’ chewing gum (because he’s addicted), hot dogs (because I’m addicted), meat (which Chris repackages and we freeze in individual servings), Bean’s formula and diapers, trash bags, dish detergent, laundry detergent, bottled water, and batteries (for Bean’s toys and swing). That trip usually costs us between $150 and $200 a month, depending on what products we need to replenish that month. I don’t know that we save any money when we shop at BJ’s, but the convenience of having those staples in our house is a good trade off for me.
Most parents picture their kids becoming doctors, lawyers, even astronauts. If you and Chris could pick an ideal career for the Bean, what would it be? From Rachel
Oh, man. I don’t know. (Chris is sitting next to me right now chanting, “as-tro-naut…as-tro-naut…”) I really don’t care what a person’s day job is, so long as they are loyal to it, happy with it, and better because of it. Otherwise, he can be anything he wants to be.
Except a pimp. I’d have issues with that.
I wondered how your socializing has changed now that you have the Bean? You seem so busy how do friends fit in to it all? Have you met many new parents like yourself since Bean was born? From Another Rachel
Our socializing has changed since we have had Bean, but I think it was in the process of changing when we found out we were pregnant anyways so its hard to say if we are just in a different place now or if it has been Bean. Whatever the reason, our social lives have become more family oriented. We have always been a little on the homebody side, but we now go out and do things with just our family that we might normally had included lots of people in before. I can’t speak for Chris, but I know that I just enjoy Chris and Bean more now. I think that is one of the unexpected parts of being a parent and becoming parents. Bean changes so fast and learns so much that every day is new at our house. Even things like going out to a restaurant are different every time we go, and that keeps it exciting for Chris and I. So, while we do still see our friends on a normal basis, we are definitely enjoying the time with our family.
Plus, with busy schedules like we have at our house, our down time is even more valuable now. Having a Saturday night or a Sunday afternoon to do anything we want is priceless and we sometimes spend that downtime with friends, we would rather take the time to connect with each other. Working all week, we really only get a couple hours in the evening with Bean so weekends we get to soak him up.
Is the iphone easy to type on? Do you eventually get used to the touch screen? From HeJo
It is really different than a normal keypad. But I’ve had it for about a week now and I actually am getting used to it. It isn’t as much of a problem as I thought it would be.
I was just wondering how you made that decision to get engaged so young? Did you discuss this before he proposed? From Caitlin
I don’t think there was an actual decision to get married, really. I think we both just assumed that was where we were headed. But our sophomore year in college we started talking about it more practically. Not so much about when we’d get engaged, but when we’d get married, where we’d live, how many kids we wanted. Chris really surprised me when he proposed. I wanted to get engaged soon, but Chris seemed like he wanted to wait a while. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he proposed! It shocked me, but at the same time I had been waiting for it. The whole ordeal just felt very organic for us. Not forced or planned. It just seemed like that was where we wanted to go next.
When is your sister getting married? We haven’t heard about her in a while, and I don’t think she updates her blog(haven’t checked in a while)? Are you the MOH? From Jordan
My sister is getting married on April 24 and I am her matron of honor. MATRON. What an awful word!!! But, sooner than the wedding is the bachelorette party in New York in a few weeks that I am planning. For the record, I am the WORST person to plan this weekend! I am such a homebody and for all the jokes I make, I really am not a drinker at all. And I am responsible for entertaining a group of sorority girls who can party till the cows come home. I AM NOT QUALIFIED FOR THIS!! But I’ve got a pretty good schedule for the weekend:
Friday afternoon/evening – Broadway show, dinner at a pizza and beer place, then out on the town
Saturday – Breakfast, lingerie shower at an undisclosed location (it’ll be so great!), dinner at a tapas bar, then out to this crazy fun bar (I can’t tell you much about it because its a secret and Ginny reads this blog, but I’ll tell you about it afterward)
Sunday – Big send off brunch!
So, yeah. That’s all coming up soon and I am really excited about it. YAY GINNY AND JOHN MICHAEL!!!!!
We’re about halfway through all of your questions from the Q&A post last week. Check back over the next couple weeks for Parts III and IV (…and maybe V and VI..!!).
When I started this humble blog a little over a year ago, one of my first posts was titled, “The Great Laundry Crisis of 2008.“ It was about how laundry had taken over my life. How it sat in piles around my tiny apartment. How it taunted me and shamed me.
I believe my exact words were that it was an act of God.
A lot has changed in the past year. I got my masters. I bought a house. I had a baby. I picked mushrooms. I broke up with Kenny Chesney. I defeated a family of squawking birds. I got my haircut. I mean, things have been busy. I’ve gone through more changes than Madonna.
But one thing has remained consistent. One thing has stayed true. Through thick and thin, rich and poor, for better or worse, in good times and in bad.
My laundry situation is still the same.
I still walk around my house amazed at the onslaught of clothing piled in massive mountains here, there, and everywhere in between. I will never understand it.
There are two and a half people in my house. We each wear one outfit a day. Where do all the clothes come from? Why is it that at the end of the week, it looks like Old Navy has projectile vomited all over my house? Its like someone breaks into my house every day, wears all my clothes, and then throws them all over the place. I will never understand it.
“Moooooom!” yelled Beanie. “Help me, Mom!”
“Beanie? Where are you?” I say.
“Help! Mom! This pile of clothes ate me!”
“Which pile, Beanie?” I say. “There are so many of them!”
“This one over here! Right here! I’m right here!” yelled Beanie.
“Oh!” I say. “There you are, Beanie!”
“It just ain’t right, Mom. It just ain’t right,” says Beanie.
“I know, Beanie,” I sigh. “It just ain’t right.”
27May
In our house, I do the laundry. Â I hate laundry. Â Hate it. Â I hate sorting it. Â I hate loading the washing machine. Â I hate emptying the lint tray. Â I hate folding the clothes. Â I hate putting them away.
Hate. Â It.
(The full history of my relationship with laundry can be read about here, here, here, and here.)
But I’ve worked out a system and it at least makes the process streamlined and as fast as possible. Â I won’t go into all the details because, well, its laundry. Â But I have my methods.
One of them is that I do the socks at the very end. Â I just make a pile of them as the loads finish drying and then I match them all up once all the laundry has been done. Â This way, I’m not spending half an hour searching for missing socks after each individual load. Â Its brilliant.
At the end of the sock matching game, I put all the unmatched socks in this lovely undergarment holder that came with a pack of Calvin Klein underwear I got years ago.
This bag hangs in my laundry room until the next time I do laundry and I can try to match up some of the lonely socks. Â But, as everyone knows, socks disappear. Â Washing machines eat them. Â Dogs steal them. Â Husbands lose them. Â Show me one house in America that doesn’t have a pile of missing socks and I will give you one million dollars.
Or a hand shake.
Probably just a hand shake. Â Money’s tight right now.
Lately, I have needed some help around the house because of my growing size and shrinking energy level and so I asked Chris to help me out with the laundry. Â He did a great job. Â Everything was clean and folded and put where it belonged. Â But he freaked out at the end about the sock situation. Â He came across a few single socks in the wash and I handed him my bag of lonely socks and explained that he had to go through them to match them up.
“How is it possible that YOU have so many missing socks?” Â he shrieked. Â ”That’s just laziness!”
“How is it laziness? Â They are YOUR socks that are missing!” Â I replied, somewhat amused.
“You’re just being lazy and not matching up socks,” he said.
“I mean, how hard is it to match up socks?” he continued. Â ”I could do it right now. Â It just takes time. Â You’re just being lazy about it!”
So, I stand there in silence and continue to be amused as Chris sorts through all the lonely socks in the sock bag. Â And after 15 minutes of sorting and huffing and puffing, how many socks has he managed to save?
One pair.
He saved one measly pair of socks. Â But he was so proud. Â So incredibly proud.
“See?” he said. Â ”It just takes a little effort.”
“You’re right, Chris,” I said. Â ”Clearly, I do not have the dedication to laundry that you do. Â Maybe this is something you are better suited to doing than me. Â I’m glad we talked about this.”
And I walked out of the laundry room.
“Wait,” he called after me. Â ”What just happened here?”
05Jan
This past week, my sister and her main squeeze, John Michael were visiting. We had a rootin’ tootin’ good time. They came into town to go down to Times Square for the ball drop, but they had some problems getting there and ended up coming home before midnight. While that was a bummer, the rest of the week really made up for it. We layed around and watched football, ate, went to Mystic, CT, ate, rode a horse carriage through Central Park, ate, went up in the Empire State Building, ate, and then we ate some more. It was pretty delightful.
But as with all company, its great to see them come and its great to see them go (sorry, Gin) and so I spent today de-hostessing my house. Laundry, putting away Christmas decorations, wrestling socks from my dogs… And as I’m doing this, Chris is making an effort to help. Sort of.
Now normally, I try not to generalize about gender stereotypes. Chris is a unique individual and is shortcomings unique characteristics are all his own. But when it comes to cleaning, I have found several traits that most men share. Not all. But most.
For example, when I clean I clean the entire house. Whether the junk belongs to Chris, me, or the dogs, I put it away. I’m not a great deep cleaner, but I can straighten up a room pretty quick and its because I don’t distinguish between whose belongings are whose. Chris, however, will only clean up his things. I asked him today if he could straighten the living room while I cleaned the kitchen, downstairs bath, and living room. Seems to be a fair trade, am I right? But when I went into the dining room (which is the catch-all room in our house), he had put away only half of the stuff laying in there. My stuff was all in a nice little pile on the dining room table. What’s with that?
And laundry is no different. In our house, we don’t really split chores in half or have assigned jobs (mostly because I’m pretty lazy and if Chris waited for me half the time, we’d be living in filth with no socks). But laundry has traditionally been something I do most of the time. And I really don’t mind because Chris is pretty darn good about helping out around the house, so if he doesn’t like that one task, I don’t mind taking it over. But when he does do the laundry, he will wash everything but he only puts away his. He leaves my clothes in piles downstairs. Now, its not that tricky to figure out my closet arrangement…especially when we’ve been married for almost 4 YEARS NOW. Why can’t he just put my clothes away when he puts his away? I put his away when I do it, so what’s the hold up on my clothes?
Another thing that drives me crazy about cleaning with Chris isn’t something that I’m aware is a trait of “man”-kind. I think this next one is a Chris thing. He re-cleans after me. I will go through an entire room of deep cleaning (you know, with supplies and stuff) and I’ll hear him in there like an hour later re-cleaning something. It. Drives. Me. Crazy. That room hasn’t been touched with a dust cloth or vaccuum in 3 weeks, and when I finally take the initiative to do it, he has the audacity to come behind me and “fix it?” Drives. Me. Crazy. He never actually comes out and criticizes my cleaning (he’s still breathing, isn’t he?), but I think re-cleaning is almost just as bad as saying that outloud. Clearly, he thinks he could do a better job. And, clearly, something must have physically prevented him from doing that better job in the THREE WEEKS that the dust sat there accumulating. But let me pick up the dust cloth and, suddenly, he’s all about the cleaning. Er, re-cleaning.
I guess I should be thankful. Lots of wives have husbands who don’t help at all. And in the grand scheme of things, Chris takes care of more than his fair share of things around the house. And he kills spiders for me which gets you many gold stars in my book. Its not so much that I am judgmental of his household strategies, its that they baffle me. I’m confused.  I just don’t understand them.
Then again, my weird habits include painting my dog’s toenails and paying extra for scented trashbags, so who am I to judge?
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