Letters to Chris | Marriage Confessions Letters to Chris

Dear Chris,

On Monday we will finally close on our first house here in Florida. Can you believe it? I can’t. I can’t believe that this time last year we were struggling to make ends meet, fearing our unexpected pregnancy, wondering where we were going to live, and trying to put our lives back together after our move. Such change in such a short amount of time. Now, we both have jobs that we love and, more importantly, that pay the bills. We have a beautiful baby girl whose dimples and gummy smiles make both of us melt. And we’re actually enjoying living in Florida. The only thing that is the same this year is that we are still packing. And soon we’ll still be unpacking.

Packing and unpacking.

I feel like we’ve done that so much in the past year. We packed our beautiful home in Connecticut and unpacked at the tiny, horrid rental house. We packed that horrid rental house and unpacked at my parents house. We packed at my parents house and unpacked at our safe, cozy rental house in a better part of town. And now we’re packing up that house and moving to an even better neighborhood and a house all our own.

I think that’s my favorite part about buying this house. That it will be the last time we unpack. I drive through our new neighborhood occasionally and pretend I’m driving home. I pass by the elementary school and I smile to myself as I think that this is the first time that we know where we will be when Bean starts school. I pass by our new neighbor’s houses and I smile to myself as I think about how our kids will grow up next door to their kids. And I smile as I pass our new house and think about you and me, sitting on the big back deck, rocking side by side, watching our babies become adults.

But as happy as I will be to unpack at that new house, I know that the packing and unpacking for us isn’t completely over. We’ll pack and unpack countless diaper bags. We’ll pack and unpack suitcases for family vacations. We’ll pack and unpack Bean and Gracie’s school backpacks and lunchboxes. Every Christmas, we’ll pack and unpack ornaments we’ve collected from our adventures. And down the road, maybe we’ll pack and unpack desks and offices as we move on and up to new jobs. Or maybe we’ll pack and unpack bags from that trip to Machu Picchu we never got to take. Then, much later (though I’m sure it will seem like in a blink of an eye), we’ll pack and unpack boxes of Bean and Gracie’s awards and trophies from high school. And then we’ll pack and unpack cars as we load our babies up and take them to college dorm rooms.

Packing and unpacking are just part of our marriage. We put away the lows and carefully store the highs and then we move on to open new experiences and adventures together. In the years we’ve been together, we’ve packed and unpacked our bags next to each other countless times as we begin and bring to a close different journeys we’ve shared. Some of those memories make me laugh, some make me sad, and some make me warm from the inside out.

So, as we get closer and closer to packing and unpacking when we move into our new house, I just wanted to take a minute in the middle of all the chaos to tell you how much I love packing and unpacking with you. I know that sometimes that excitement and anticipation can get overlooked, what with all the potty dances and bedtime stories and middle of the night feedings. And sometimes when we’re signing endless stacks of paperwork and faxing bank statements and copies of pay stubs across Kingdom Come, I might forget to stop and tell you how happy I am. But I think you should know that. You make me look forward to change. You make me happy about change. Of all the reasons I love you, that one is pretty high on my list.

Here’s to moving boxes and suitcases,
Kate

46 comments | posted in Changes, Communication, Florida, Husbands, Letters to Chris, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Moving | tags: Marriage, Moving

Dear Chris,

Last week was our 12 year dating anniversary.Â And we missed it.Â Oops.Â Let’s blame the kids.

We’ve been together for 12 years and this June will be our 6th wedding anniversary.Â Aren’t anniversaries fun?Â They remind us of how far we’ve come and how hard we’ve worked to get where we are right now.Â Over twelve years, we’ve been through a lot.Â Break ups and vacations and date nights and love notes and fights and family dinners and Christmas mornings and more bowls of cucumbers than I can count.Â Our house is full of pictures of our happiest memories and our shelves are full of little mementos from different parts of our history together.Â And sleeping in their beds right now are two beautiful babies who are living proof that we loved each other so much we actually grew people!Â We’ve had and we’re living a wonderfully blessed and happy life together and I’m thankful for it every day.

In 12 years, we both have become very different people.Â I’m not such a taskmaster anymore and you’ve accepted sushi into your life (amen.).Â I’ve learned to enjoy a beer and a good hockey game and you’ve learned that you can’t die from wearing a coat and tie.Â We’ve also become very different partners, too.Â I’ve become stronger, honest, and more up front.Â You’ve become understanding, patient, and thoughtful.Â I think we’ve brought out the best in each other and what more could someone ask for in a spouse and friend?

12 years.Â Who would have known?Â Certainly not us.Â But I’m glad Someone knew and I’m thankful that He gave you to me as my partner, as my babies daddy, as my husband, and as my best friend.

I love you and can’t wait to see where the next 12 years takes us.

~ Your Kate

27 comments | posted in Husbands, Letters to Chris, Marriage, Marriage Confessions | tags: love, Marriage

The other morning at 7:30, Bean came toddling into my bedroom.Â He had his two golf clubs with him, as always, and he used them to poke me awake.Â Then he broke into his big ol’ giggle and started holding his arms (and golf clubs) out to be picked up.Â I pulled him into bed with me and we snuggled and laughed and I hid from him while Bean swatted around with his clubs.

Super sweet, right?

WRONG.

Absolutely not sweet.

In fact, this is grounds for divorce in my marriage and Bean is merely a pawn.

See, Chris and I take turns getting up with Bean every day.Â Bean gets up at 7:00 on the dot every morning and we alternate who is going to get up with him, change his diaper, get his breakfast, and feed the dogs.Â It’s a whole routine.Â And while one person does it, the other person gets an extra half hour or so of sleep.

So, what’s all the fuss?

Well, lately, Chris has been sending Bean into my bedroom to wake me up.Â He says it’s cute.Â It’s sweet.Â Bean loves me.Â Blah, blah, blah.Â I don’t care. I don’t care how cute he is, he’ll still be cute when I wake up in half an hour.

And yet this is the perfect crime because what exactly can I accuse Chris of in this situation?Â Think about it.Â Any argument I try sounds ridiculous:

“Why did you bring the baby in to see me?”

“I don’t want to see the baby right now!”

“Take the baby away!”

See?Â All of those make me sound like a jerk.Â So, Chris gets to sit back and watch while I simultaneously love and hate this new morning ritual.

Now, it’s true that I am not completely innocent in this.Â In fact, I was the one that created this game.Â I used to send Bean in to wake up Chris on the weekends when he slept past 9:00.Â I mean, we had things to do.Â Places to be.Â And Chris needed to get his arse up.Â But I would like to argue before the court that that situation is very different than using that tactic at 7:30am on a weekday when I had only an extra 15 minutes or so of sleep.

Chris and I have never argued about this before because of the aforementioned complaints making us sound ridiculous, but we do smile sweetly to each other and say, “Isn’t it sweet?Â I loved when you made him wake me up yesterday like this.”

Did you get that?Â That subtle hint of a complaint in there?

THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

So, today before God and Internet Land, I am declaring a truce, Chris.Â I will keep Bean out of the bedroom while you are sleeping and you need to keep him out of the bedroom when I am sleeping.Â No matter what.Â It’s the right thing to do, my love.

Because I would hate to file for divorce on the grounds that my husband forced me to snuggle with my child.

25 comments | posted in Around the House, Communication, Fights, Husbands, Letters to Chris, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, parenting, Suburbia, The Bean | tags: children, Marriage, parenting

Today I woke up and it seemed like an important day for some reason, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it…

Were my taxes due?Â No….

Was it the first day of school?Â No….

Had I won the lottery?Â Definitely no…

Did we have company coming?Â No…

And then I rolled over in bed to face this guy, and I remembered.

Today is my honey bunny’s birthday!!!!

Happy birthday to the man who makes every day exciting.

Happy birthday to the man who reminds us to stop and relax every now and then.

Happy birthday to the man who fixes things when I break them.

Happy birthday to the man who pushes Bean WAY higher on the swings than I think is appropriate.

Happy birthday to the man who lets us hug and kiss and climb all over him.

Happy birthday to the man who makes me laugh till I snort.

Happy birthday to my partner in crime, my chef, my mechanic, my humorist, my confidant, my proofreader, my adviser, my counselor, my cuddler, my best friend, my hubby, my Pookey.

You make every day better than yesterday.

I love you.