Hi there, it is me again, its been a while eh?
Sorry about that.
Today we are going to talk about something real. Something serious. Something looming. We are talking Valentines Day. The big V. V-Day, one of the most critical days of the year. One of the few days of the year that lets you sleep in the bed, or on the couch.
(FYI Ladies- This would be the part when you would call your man to come and read…)
There are two types of Valentiners. Ones that absolutely go over the moon for it, and ones that despise it. I happen to be somewhere in between those two. The day does not completely annoy me, however I’m not much for the random holiday thing. I not here to tell you which one you are. That is your business. But I will say regardless of which one you are. This year do something nice for your lady. She deserves it. Here is you guide:
Valentines Day does not have to be all-fancy-like with roses and dinner and makin’ babies. You don’t have to get all dressed up and go dancing. Don’t get me wrong all of that is fantastic and a wonderful evening. But to me, that is not what Valentines Day is about. Valentines Day is like Mother’s Day, without church. It is a time for you to tell your lady that you love her. It is her day. And it can be simple, and it can be romantic, and it can be knock your socks off fun all at the same time. Just be sure to make it your own. Don’t be typical.
You know your significant other better than anyone. Get her something that she really wants. Get her something that makes her feel pretty. Get her something that takes care of her. Get her something that tells her you appreciate everything she does. Get her something to tell her that she is perfect.
I’m sure you get her red flowers EVERY year, right? Well this year change it up. If you always give her red long-stem roses that you got on the side of the road for five dollars, change it up and get her white, pink, and red tulips. If you always give them to her when you come home from work, it will always seem like a last minute thought. Change it up this year and have them waiting in the bathroom for when she wakes up that morning instead. If you always have them in the morning, change it up this year, and send them to her office and surprise her there with flowers. That will make her feel good all day.
If you typically give her chocolates, change it up this year and bring home chocolates, a bottle of wine and make fondue.
If you typically give her jewelry, change it up this year and find a piece of jewelry that is different. It does not have to be diamonds, or anything expensive. Get her something that fits her style, something that when you see it in a store you can picture her wearing it.
If lingerie is in your repertoire each year, this year change it up and get her something different. Regardless of what you may or may not think, women do not want to wear that sexy stuff all the time. This year go for a practical gift like underwear or a nice bra. It will make your lady feel good about herself everyday she wears it. This year don’t buy something that she will wear once in a blue moon, go practical and get her something she can wear once or twice a week.
Now, do we need to talk about buying underwear and lingerie? Shame on you if you have never bought your lady something nice from Victoria’s Secret. Listen, if you are not man enough to go in there and pick out something nice, then your girl needs to move on. Go in. It’s not scary. It’s not confusing. And most of the time, there are attractive sales women everywhere! Go in there and ask, “What is the most popular bra right now? I need an everyday bra that my beautiful wife/fiancé/girlfriend/partner will love.” That will not only make you feel good about doing the right thing, but it will also make the attractive sales women give a you a nice smile and then take really good care of you. And in a last resort, if you just can’t bring yourself to do it, then the online store will have to do. Then you can browse as long as you need to.
If you are a dinner and movie at home kinda guy, change it up this year and YOU cook a nice dinner, or order take-out, or pick something up from her favorite restaurant and bring it home. If you like going out to dinner, take her to her favorite spot. Don’t take her to the sports bar, even if she wants to go. Take her somewhere nice. Get her to put on lipstick and a cute dress and go out to dinner and movie. Don’t take her to something dark or intense or scary (unless that turns her on…) take her to something girly and fun, a romantic comedy or something light-hearted.
Lastly, don’t get her something from the neighborhood drug store. Pay attention, man. Put some thought into her this year. It’s not hard. It’s not expensive. But it’s going to take some thought, and maybe some planning. But take the time to do it. Your girl is worth it. And it’s your responsibility to tell her that. Don’t mess it up this year. Surprise her. Make her smile. Make her laugh. Make her cry. Make her happy. Make her feel pretty. Tell her you love her.
(For the record, I am totally against the lingerie talk in this post. It goes against every modest fiber of my being. But Chris insists that guys need some direction in that department. Whatever. I’m still against it. However, since Chris hasn’t blogged in YEARS, I’m trying not to discourage him. So, this is me. Being encouraging. You’re welcome.)
Dear BeanMan,
I can’t believe its been a year already. Last year when we woke up today, we were grinning from ear to ear and poking you in your mom’s belly. Your mom and I were so excited that day. We didn’t know what was about to happen, but it didn’t matter, we knew it would be great. Then you came and it was so much more than great.
Bean Man, you have changed our lives. You made us a family! Its something we had always talked about but I never thought that it we be this much fun. From the first little speck on the monitor to the little man you have grown into, I can say that you have made me the happiest dad in the world. You brighten my day with your smile and laughs.
I know your only one year old, but you have taught me how to be a better person. You taught me how to be patient and I will always be thankful for that Bean. I can’t wait for you to grow up so I can teach you the same thing. I am going to teach you everything I know. We will build tree forts and I will teach you how to ski. I will teach you how to play golf and how to drive a stick shift. It makes me excited thinking about it because I know its going to be so much fun.
But for today, on your first birthday, the day when you finally get a number, I just want to tell you I Love You. This has been the best year of my life and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Love You Buddy, Happy Birthday.
Dad
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Read Katie’s birthday letter to Bean over in The Bean’s Page.
Be sure to check out the Bean’s birthday video slide show over on the Confessions page.
As you all know, we here at MC are picking up and heading south. Its crazy how all of this happened and I’m still not sure how it seemed to all work out. It wasn’t easy getting this far, and its not over yet so we will keep you posted of course. But making this decision was really hard for me in particular. It took me a LONG time to get comfortable with the idea of going back to Florida, mainly because I love it here and I love our life here.
I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m an independent person, I always have been. I talk to my family once a week or so, sometimes more and sometimes less, but we are all ok with that schedule. Its been like that ever since I went to college. So it didn’t bother me when we made the decision to move to Connecticut to live. Sometimes I hate that I can’t see my sister for lunch and things like that but I have learned to live with it. I know that they will always be there for me if I need them. Maybe that is a little selfish on my part, but I love that me and Kate have our own lives up here. And it makes it so much more fun when family does come to visit because we could show them places that they had never seen before!
I won’t lie. I have fallen in love with New England. As a kid I was always jealous that we didn’t have snow. It flurried like twice when we were growing up and I can remember being so excited I couldn’t even sleep. CT is a beautiful place to live. There is so much history and culture and not to mention the scenic drives are endless. I love love love love love seeing the seasons pass. I’m of the out-doorsy type and I used to think the Utah was the most beautiful place I had ever seen but I think CT takes the cake. Each season has a completely different mood and feeling and I’m going to miss that so much. In Orlando, everyday looks the same. Sunny, usually warm, it will shower around 3pm, and the trees never loose their leaves. Poor trees.
But possibly the biggest hesitation I have for packing up and moving out are all of my brothers in NYC. I can’t tell you what it means to have people around that you have known for 15+ years. Justin, my best friend since the sixth grade, grew up down the street from me when we were kids. We have been friends for so long that I can remember having sleep-over’s and talking about kissing a girl for the first time. And I can remember the first time we tried a beer. And building tree-forts. Hell I new him YEARS before I met Kate (side note, I think they actually had a thing before we got together. weird.) Now I see him playing with my son and it blows my mind.
My other boys, that justin and I met in high school, all live in the city as well and let me tell you having that support group a train ride away has been awesome. I love all of those guys and I’m going to miss them more than anything.
Now I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be around all of these wonderful things forever. I figured when we had kids that we would end up in the Carolina area which both of us had the desire to live at some point. I certainly never thought we would go all the way back to Florida, and I really didn’t think we would be heading there like tomorrow.
But the reason I can to terms with all of this is this little guy.
You see, on the flip side of all of this, I have this Bean that need to think about now. I keep going back to the fact that I don’t know where I would be if my grandparents didn’t live next door to me growing up. I was my granddad’s little shadow as soon as i could walk and I know that I want BeanMan to have a relationship like that with his grandparents. We can’t do that from Connecticut, it just doesn’t work. But I guess that’s what you do when you have kids. You still make your life decisions, you just make those decisions with someone else in mind.
I love our life here. The past five or years has been some of the best years of my life. Our marriage is stronger than ever and we have a little family of our own now, so I feel like this chapter is complete. We are at a fork and we have chosen the path to Florida. The important thing is that we made the decision together. Kate started the conversation, and we talked, and we argued, and we talked, and we made the decision that we felt was the best one for everyone evolved; Me, Kate, Bean, the Dogs, and our families. My friends will always be my brothers, and Connecticut will always have its scenic drives, but Bean Man will only grow up once. And I really want him to grow up with his family close by.
Why do women have such a hard time with presents for their significant other. Kate has been nagging me for weeks about not ever being able to buy gifts for me, she says its too hard to pick out “boy things”. Except for clothes. She will buy me clothes all day long, which I don’t mind, but not during a time of giving! So, for my triumphant return to blogging I give you the 2009 Man Cave Wish List. This one is for the ladies, but more in the hope for all of those men out their to get something better than a pair of boxers.
For the driving man.
I drive a lot. I mean A LOT.  I’m in the car for 2-3 hours everyday (well… on days without traffic). Most days its NPR in the morning and iPod on the way home. To me the worst thing about the iPod in the car is how you hook it up. Most of the options out there won’t let you have a clean, clear, and crisp sound. Those radio station hookups are horrible unless you live in the boonies, and the tape deck ones are the next best thing… but neither is acceptable for me. So this year I got something new: FM MODULATOR It’s $30 from Amazon.com. And if your driving man is even just a little handy, he should be able to handle it. This takes the ipod and connects it directly to your car stereo! Its perfect.
For the Music Man
For the music man in your life I suggest this book that has changed my little ears forever. Thats right FOR-E-VER. 1000 recordings to hear before you die ($7.98 on Amazon). This book will begin a lifelong journey. Its a book by Tom Moon, a music commentator and writer. He lists his top 1,000 recordings to hear before you die – and its AWESOME. I like it because I flip to a random page and find a piece of music that I may have heard a hundred times before, but Tom Moon tells you the backstory on each piece and gives you a totally different view on the music. For someone who is really into music of all kinds – like me – its a great gift.
For the man of the house
I found this company a while back called Simple Shoes. And since I’m a simple guy, I took a look around their website. All of their shoes are made from tires. Which means your dogs can’t destroy them. Proof is that we have found Big Molly chewing on these numerous times and they are still good as new. Last year Kate’s grandmother bought me a pair of the slippers. I wear them every day. They have rubber soles so I can wear them out to the Man Cave, but they’re really warm around the house, too. They are a little pricey at $60.00 a pair, but you’ll never have to buy another pair again so they’re totally worth it.
For the working man
I’ll admit that buying tools for men is very tricky. Every guy has his preference. But there are a few things that you can’t go wrong with when buying tools. In general, a good brand of tool like DeWalt, Craftsman, or Milwaukee are going to be a little pricier but they are going to last a lot longer. If you wanted to go a little cheaper, I’d go with Ryobi or Rigid. In my experience – and I have a lot of experience with tools – your Black and Decker brand tools aren’t going to last very long if you’re using them often. I’d spend the extra money and get a better quality that you know you’ll only have to buy once.
The type of tool will depend on what your guy is into or working on at the time. But I think any guy would appreciate one of the basic power tools like a cordless drill. If I could have any drill without price being an option, I’d choose the Milwaukee 18 volt cordless drill ($199.00 on Amazon). The one that I have had for years is the Ryobi 18 volt cordless drill. This one on Amazon is the new version of my drill and its pretty nice – especially for the price of $40.00.
For the gaming man
The best game out right now is Modern Warfare Call of Duty 2 ($59.99 on Amazon). Any adult male gamer will love this game. If your guy prefers sports, my favorites are FIFA Soccer 2010 ($49.99 on Amazon) or NHL 2010 ($56.99 on Amazon).  If you want to save money on sports games, go for the 2009 version of the game. It just came out this year and is usually no different than the 2010 and you can find these for at least half the price. Another great gift idea for a gaming guy if he plays games A LOT is a GameFly subscription. It works like Netflicks, but its with video games. I think you can start out with plans around $8.00 a month.
For the unique man
Sometimes its fun to get tickets to events for Christmas. Think about any bands coming to your area that your husband likes (the Pixies are on tour right now…hint, hint, Katie…) and see if tickets are affordable. Or maybe there’s a sports team he follows that you could find tickets to. If the pro leagues are too expensive, lots of towns have minor league sporting teams with cheap tickets and those games are actually a lot of fun.
For the Man Cave Man
For the Man Cave dweller in your life, he needs a ping pong table for Christmas (I’m looking at you, Kate…).
Well, that’s about all the ideas I have, ladies. If you have questions about a specific gift, I’m happy to help or make specific suggestions. Just leave a comment for me and I’ll respond with a guy’s opinion. Also, if you have ideas that I haven’t listed, be sure to leave them in the comment section so others can get even more ideas. Or, you can always email me at chris.marriageconfessions@gmail.com if you don’t want to leave a comment.
Happy shopping! Its good to be back in my Man Cave…
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UPDATE! – I have been thinking about this gift since last night and i can’t figure out why I didn’t include it in this post.
For the Technology Man
There is a huge movement right now in the home media player. Â I’m an apple guy so naturally I bought the Apple TV when it first came out. Â If you don’t know, the Apple TV hooks to your TV and can store and stream movies, music, pictures, etc. from your computer. Â It is an awesome little box. Â At our house we have all of our DVD’s and TVshows on there so at any time we can sit on the couch and scroll through our entire movie collection, pick a movie, and it plays. Â The only thing you have to get up for is popcorn. Â The Apple TV is a little pricey at $229. Â But there are other media players out there for cheaper. Â This one from Western Digital looks fantastic at $99. Â Or the Roku HD Player will stream from Netflicks and Amazon OnDemand, for $99 Â its a sweet deal.
This would be a fantastic gift! Â And remember this is really a gift for BOTH of you because you will both be enjoying it. Â Good Luck!! and Happy Shopping!
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