Marriage Confessions | Marriage Confessions Marriage Confessions

I wish I was still reporting to you from my sick bed, but duty calls. I went back to work yesterday, and the exact words from my students were, “You look like death, Mrs. Brown,” and “You look terrible, Mrs. Brown.”

Ahhh…middle schoolers. Such honesty.

Anyway, I’m still not 100%, so I’m rerouting you today to my column over at Southern Weddings Magazine. It was written back before I came down with the Plague and so it’s better than anything I’d write here today under the influence of cold pills.

I’ll be back up and running when I’m finally feeling better!

0 comments | posted in Marriage Confessions, Southern Weddings | tags: Southern Weddings Magazine

This week I have really concentrated on living through my sinus infection and double ear infections. It’s taken a lot of concentration. I don’t remember ever having been this sick. I broke down and went the to the doctor on Tuesday afternoon and she gave me some heavy duty prescriptions to help kick these infections. As if I wasn’t feeling bad enough, turns out I’m allergic to one of the prescriptions she gave me because I broke out in head to toe hives about 20 minutes after taking it that night. Then, yesterday, I got out of bed for the first time in almost two days and went to the kitchen to make myself some dinner. But when I stood there, I started getting lightheaded and dizzy, and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the kitchen floor. I tried to get up and walk back to my bed, but started getting sick to my stomach. I managed to grab my cell before I ended up sprawled out on my bathroom floor. I called Chris and he came home to help me. He fed me soup and Gatorade and put me back in bed. By late last night, I was feeling a little better. I think eating and drinking lots of fluids helped that. I stayed home from work again today (third day in a row! yikes!) and have been laying on my couch, trying to rest up. I am feeling much better, but still really weak. I can barely life this Thin Mint to my mouth…

Oh, nevermind. I got it.

So, days on my sick bed and here are the musings I have had:

1. Sadly, life does not stop just because you are sick. Babies still want to be held, big boys still need you to help them find clean underwear, and dinners must be made. I’ve managed to put life on pause a bit, thanks to Chris, but I guess the saying is true. There are no sick days in motherhood.

2. My kitchen floor needs to be swept. I discovered this when I came to and I was sitting on my kitchen floor surrounded by stray green peas, a Lego, a Gerber Puff, and a ball of some kind of tape.

3. I take turns in my book choices these days. I read one young adult novel that my students recommend and then I read one adult novel that I choose. I just finished my latest choice, “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. My mother-in-law sent it to me for Valentine’s Day and it was fantastic. I would highly recommend it to any parent or teacher. It’s about bullying and the effects it has on children. It was really hard to read, and I almost put it down several times because I didn’t think I could handle it, but I’m so glad I stuck with it. Now I’m reading “The Battle of the Labyrinth” by Rick Riordan. It’s part of a series of young adult books about Greek mythology coming to life today. A lot of my dude students are reading the series, so I’ve been working my way through it, too. It starts with “The Lightning Thief,” in case you’re interested.

3. I don’t normally take medications. It’s not that I avoid them. It’s just that I don’t think they actually DO anything. This is an endless argument in my marriage. Chris insists they don’t do anything for me because I don’t take them consistently. I insist they don’t do anything for me because they just make you sleepy until you sleep through your sickness, and I can’t really walk around sleepy all the time (see #1 above). But this time, I’ve been too sick to argue and have taken my medicine around the clock like a good girl. The only thing that seems to make a difference is the Amoxicillin for my ears and sinus infection. That’s broken everything up like a charm. The jury’s still out on the other stuff…

4. I’ve never stayed in bed this long at one time before. It has been awesome! I just wake up, read, go back to sleep. Or, wake up, drink some Gatorade, go back to sleep. Or wake up, take some medicine, go back to sleep. For two whole days that was my routine and, even being sick, I loved it. I can’t tell you the last time I got to sleep all day in my bed. But by today I was ready to get up and out. I’ve moved down to the couch and I feel much more alert and active today. I’m still in jammies, but I think my body knows we’ve crawled out of the cave of pillows and joined the living again. My dad always said that was the best cure for a cold, anyway. So today, I’m up and moving around my house and feeling more like myself. Although, I do miss my bed.

This weekend, Chris has to work and so I’m thinking about shipping the kids off to my parent’s house on Saturday, just to give myself one more day of taking it easy before jumping back in the saddle, full swing. Here’s hoping that by Sunday I’m feeling better again. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I actually MISS running in the mornings! I hope by Monday I’m able to get back out there again.

I better to back to bed. Clearly, I have become feverish and am speaking nonsense.

19 comments | posted in Around the House, health, Marriage Confessions | tags: colds, health, illness

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Well, kids. I think I’m dying of a cold. I know I can be a taaaaaad bit dramatic, but I’m serious this time. I feel awful!

I had a cold about three weeks ago. That cleared up after a few days, but this nagging cough stayed. In the past three or four days, that cough has become even worse, keeping me up all night hacking. Then in the past two days, it has gotten up into my sinuses and basically feels like an elephant is sitting on my head. I went to the doctor today and she said I have a sinus infection and two ear infections. And as a bonus to all of that, apparently I’m allergic to the cough medication she prescribed because I broke out in terrible hives all over my body last night about 20 minutes after taking it. Awesome.

Chris says I got sick again because I partied too hard.

What’s that you say? Why was I partying?

BECAUSE MARRIAGE CONFESSIONS WON THE 2012 BLOGGIE FOR BEST TOPICAL BLOG!!!!!! We found out on Sunday night and I have been ecstatic ever since! But I think my ecstatic done got infected ’cause now I feel like death. BUT I’M HAPPY ON THE INSIDE! Thanks to all of you who went over and voted this year. I really appreciate each of you!

And now, to celebrate, I am going to take a three hour nap. And maybe take a cold pill or two. This girl knows how to celebrate, y’all!

(Photo courtesy of Jenn Hopkins Photography, circa 2010. I like to call this “vintage Jenn Hopkins.”)

32 comments | posted in blogging, health, Marriage Confessions | tags: Bloggies, Jenn Hopkins Photography, photography

I have a really great husband. He’s involved in our home life, prioritizes our family above all else, and, above all, he loves me. A LOT. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Which is why I hesitate to complain about this one, small, insignificant issue…

On Sunday afternoons, Chris drives me absolutely insane. INSANE, people! It hasn’t always been this way. We used to enjoy Sunday afternoons together. But in the past couple months, those days have gone out the window. Why? Well, it began with a Target RedCard.

I do my grocery shopping at Target, and since I was spending about $100 a week there on groceries, I decided to get a Target RedCard. The RedCard has two different options. One is a credit card, and the other is linked to your debit card. I got the one linked to my debit card. It has no enrollment or annual fees, and costs me nothing to use. What it does is send you a specific debit card to use only at Target. When you use that debit card there, you automatically save 5% on your total purchase. So, basically, I’m saving 5% of my own money at a place where I would be spending it anyway. It’s a huge win-win.

So, I started saving money that way. Then, I started clipping more coupons. I use Coupons.com and the Target website for coupons. Both are pretty awesome. With all of these things, I started saving a pretty good amount on each grocery visit. I could easily take $10 off my bill every week. I was bragging to Chris about this about a month ago, and he went out and surprised me by using a Groupon to get us a weekend subscription to the Orlando Sentinel (at 1/2 price, no less!) so that I could clip even more coupons. It was a really sweet gesture and it really helped with our grocery bill. I was now lowering our bill by $20-$30 a week. It was amazing!

And that’s when Chris decided he wanted to help. (sigh)

Two weekends ago, I was sitting down at our kitchen table on Sunday afternoon, planning our meals for the week and creating my shopping list. As I did this, Chris walked in with the newspaper. I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing, until he started asking me questions like, “Do you use Pantene?” and “Are we out of stick butter?”

I turned around to find Chris going through the coupons in the newspaper, clipping out what he thought I might need. Which is really nice, I know. But he was also throwing out coupons before I got the chance to look at them. And since I’m the one who makes our list and does the grocery shopping, I really wanted to see the coupons to make sure that he wasn’t overlooking something I might need. When I mentioned this to him, he got really irritated.

“It’s not rocket science, Kate,” he snapped. And then he stormed out. I dug the coupons out of the trash can and continued on my way.

This weekend, I sat down on Sunday to do my list and couponing, and here came Chris again. Sorting through coupons and throwing stuff out that I might actually have needed. Not wanting to hurt his feelings again, I took a more mature approach. I just ignored him when he tried to talk to me about what coupons to cut. I focused on making my grocery list and let him look through the coupons on his own. When I was ready to start clipping, I dug my coupons out of the trash and went on my merry way.

But then, due to some poor planning on our part, we ended up at Target with the whole family. Chris, both kids, and me. It was my worst nightmare. It’s hard enough to go with the kids, but with Chris it is next to impossible. He puts the most random stuff in the cart, and yet he questions everything I put in there. Drives me crazy.

When we were first married, we used to do all our grocery shopping together. It was so much fun. We’d pause for a kiss in the frozen foods section, stroll through the home decor aisles and decorate our imaginary summer house, and spend most our time in the cookie aisle, arguing over who picked the cookies we got last week. It was what newlyweds were supposed to do. But now, grocery shopping is different. For one thing, I’m shopping for four people now, so I’m trying to make sure I get everybody what they need. But mostly it’s different because we’re on a budget, and using coupons requires a little more thought. I have to check my list for what I need, then see if I have a coupon for that item (before I leave home, I usually put a little star beside each item on my list that I have a coupon for to remind myself to use it). When I find the coupon, I have to check to make sure that I am buying the right brand, size, quantity, or whatever is required to use the coupon. Then, I look at the other products to compare prices to make sure that I’m not paying more, even with a coupon. It isn’t hard, but it does require some concentration.

Now, imagine digging for coupons, searching for products, and doing math on the fly, all while having your husband fire 1,000 questions at you:

“Do you have a coupon for that?”
“Is that the flavor we normally get?”
“Is that other brand cheaper?”
“Do you want me to check the next aisle over?”
“Is that the one I liked?”
“Will Bean eat that?”
“Will I eat that?”
“How much is that coupon?”

It drives me CRAZY. CRAZY.

Today, we were two aisles into the grocery trip and Chris asked me his 200th question of the day so far.

“Hey, see those beans behind you? Don’t we have a coupon for those? I think I saw a coupon for that in the newspaper.”

And that’s when I turned around and snapped at Chris in the middle of Target, “WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME SHOP?!?!?”

And that’s when he snapped, “FINE!” and stormed off, taking the two children with him.

And that’s when I danced a happy jig. Yes, my husband was mad at me, but I was willing to accept that in exchange for a blissful, peaceful grocery shopping trip. He finally reappeared in the snack aisle and decided it was more effective to silently pout beside me for the rest of the trip. Even still, it is much easier to do simple math when someone is silently pouting next to you, as opposed to helping you until you want to punch them in the face.

In the produce section, over a bunch of bananas, Chris said to me, “I just like to do things with you.”

Well, poop.

There he goes again being nice and sweet. And there I go again focusing on checking items off my to-do list and completely missing the little moments of love that fill my day.

Yes, our life is very different now than when we were first married. Much like grocery shopping now, life these days requires a little more attention, a little more concentration, and a little more thought. But shame on me for letting a little more effort replace the importance of things like kissing in the frozen food aisle. Sometimes, I think newlyweds have more insight into marriage than seasoned married couples. They have their priorities right. Love above all. Even in the grocery store.

29 comments | posted in Around the House, Changes, Fights, Husbands, Marriage, Marriage Confessions | tags: coupons, grocery shopping, love, Marriage, Target