Molly | Marriage Confessions Molly | Laugh. Fight. Stay Married.

We haven’t bathed our dogs in a while and Molly is starting to smell pretty potent. But she doesn’t really smell like a dirty dog. Today she smells kind of…nutty. Like peanut butter or almonds. Yesterday she smelled like yeast. Lucy won’t go anywhere near her and I think its cause of the smell. Molly, however, feels the need to be very close to us right now. She wants to sit in our laps (REMINDER: Molly weighs about 60 lbs.). She wants to lay on our bed. She wants to cuddle on the couch. And we would, but she smells like peanuts.

Maybe its time for a bath.

1 comments | posted in Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Molly | tags: dogs, Marriage

It is happening again. Laundry is taking over my bedroom, my house, and my life. I literally have run out of clothes. I have been accused once or twice in the past of crying wolf when I say I have nothing to wear (usually while staring into my closet busting with clothes – some with the tags still on them, but that’s a different post). But this morning, I woke up and for the first time in my life I actually, literally, honest to God had not one pair of pants to wear. I grabbed a skirt, got all the way dressed, and realized I had run my last pair of tights last week and even though it LOOKS like spring outside, it is still only 50 degrees so you can’t go without tights yet.

Fighting the urge to just crawl back in bed and call in to work naked, I took a moment to survey our house.

Clothes were everywhere. On our dining room table (those were clean, just not folded yet), on our side table (those were socks, which Molly has stolen half of and I still can’t find where she’s hidden them), on our coffee table (those were two socks I actually caught Molly stealing and took away from her). They were inside, on top of, and in a 4 ft. radius around the hamper. There was a pile of pants on my dresser that I pulled out last week to take to a tailor (thanks to a suggestion from a lovely reader of this humble blog). There was a pile of dry cleaning clothes in the chair in our bedroom, which Lucy has dug a nice tunnel into and is now living in. There were clothes so deep on our floor that I had to dig a path to my closet and then I had to dig an area around the door so that I could open it.

CLOTHES ARE EVERYWHERE!

Let me tell you what this does to me. Physically, it has tripped me on multiple occasions and has caused me to stop speaking to my worthless husband until he helps and does a load of laundry (well, he’s not really worthless, but I’m mad at him so I’m allowed to embellish). Mentally it is just exhausting. I come home after a long day and it is such a depressing sight to see. Just another something I need to take care of.

Well, I can’t take it anymore. If I come home today and the situation isn’t any better, then I’m packing it all up and dropping it off at the cleaners. For $100 they’ll clean, iron, and starch my stress away. Chris may divorce me, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

2 comments | posted in Around the House, Laundry, Lucy, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Molly | tags: Laundry, Marriage, stress

Yesterday was a perfect day. It was the kind of day outside that makes you feel guilty for staying inside. Usually on days like that, we take the dogs to a park or field or something outside so they can run and play, but Chris had different plans this weekend. He convinced me to stay home and to work in the yard with him. Now, my gardening skills are about as good as my baking skills. I just have no interest in it. I don’t like to get dirty or sweaty. I don’t like bugs and I try to avoid as much manual labor as possible. Take me for what I am.

But I agreed to at least stay outside and play with the dogs while Chris worked in the yard. Â First, I made Chris pick up all the doggy “calling cards” in our yard so that I could run around out there safely.

After that, I decided to check out the dog’s hideaway. They have this corner of the yard that they like to hide in. Â We call it their fort. Â They get behind this bush and I don’t know what what they do – make bird feeders out of milk cartons or plot to take over the trash cans outside – I don’t know what happens back there. So I decided to find out.

Here is the bush/fort:

Its actually not that interesting, but I did find a few holes that they were digging under the fence. Â Now I know they are going all Shawshank on me out there. Bad dogs. Â So I blocked their holes and moved over to see what Chris was doing. Â So did the dogs.

Lucy helped Chris rake:

And not to be outdone, Molly was right behind her:

We (and by “we” I mean “Chris”) put up a little picket fence around the vegetable garden so that the dogs didn’t get in there this year and eat all the veggies. Â Last year, they thought we were growing a regular salad bar out there for them. Â A few hours after the fence was up, Molly decided she was over the fence thing and wanted to check out the cucumber situation:

Then she got in trouble:

A little later in the day, Molly came to say hello to me and I had my first casualty of the afternoon:

After this, I figured, “What the heck?” and I jumped into the flower beds with Chris. Â He gave me a pretty new, shiny hand shovel and I planted some bulbs. Â I felt like I was contributing.

Later that night, Chris took me out to dinner and to Barnes and Noble to reward me for being so helpful (I can be a bit of a child about things like that. Â But what’s wrong with needing a good, healthy reward system???). Â I’ll work for dinner out somewhere any time!!

1 comments | posted in Around the House, Lucy, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Molly | tags: Around the House, Barnes and Noble, Chores, dating, dogs, gardening, spring

I thought it was time for an update on our dogs and the little weight loss issue (see Death By Diet). We had people over this weekend and everyone made a comment on how much weight Lucy has lost. We are estimating she’s lost about 3 pounds so far, which is a lot for a little dog. She hasn’t adjusted to the amount of food she gets everyday and is still, however, just as miserable as when she started her diet. She continues to lay beside her empty food bowl and yell at us. Her vet said she should have more energy and be a happier dog once she lost some weight but, alas, this is not the case. She is still hungry all the time, barks at us for no reason, and attacks Molly frequently. Whatever. At least she’s not the only chihuahua in the “medium dog” weight classification chart anymore.

Molly is losing a little weight herself, which the vet said would be nice. She doesn’t mind the diet food and is spending most of her days now avoiding the Lightweight Lucy.

This afternoon Chris had McDonald’s for lunch. You would have thought the dogs were in heat. They rolled around on the floor next to him while he ate, just waiting for something to fall. When he was done, he took two french fries, like he always dones, and made them do tricks for them. It was like the Doggie Olympics in our house.

Before he could even ask them to do anything, they were both running frantically through their repertoire of tricks. The minute he stood up, Lucy lifted her paw in the air and just sat there waiting to give him five. When that didn’t work, she sat down, walked up on her back legs, then sat back down and put the paw up again. All this without Chris saying a word.

Molly was just as bad. Chris stood up with the french fry and she immediately dropped into her army crawl, then she sat, then she laid down, then she played dead, then she sat, then she laid down, then she crawled some more, and finally she gave up and just sat.

Our dogs are such sluts for McDonald’s french fries! With so much activity before even opening his mouth, it was hard to ask them to do anything. Chris ended up just giving them each a french fry and calling it a day. What hot dogs!

1 comments | posted in Around the House, Lucy, Marriage, Marriage Confessions, Molly | tags: dogs, Marriage, McDonald's