This post is only about regression. The other two words are there for no rhyme or reason. Actually, they are there exactly for a rhyme, but that’s not the point. The point is that this post is about regression.
Specifically, regression of the digestion.
Specifically, regression of Bean’s digestion.
Specifically, THE KID KEEPS HAVING ACCIDENTS ALL OF A SUDDEN!
Bean has been potty trained for well over three or four months now, at least. He potty trained fairly easily. Mostly because when the time came to potty train him, I waited until I didn’t have a newborn to take care of. I also waited until the daycare was ready for him to potty train, too. There was no point in us doing it at home but then sending him to school in diapers all day. The way our daycare handles it is four kids at a time are intensively potty training. That means that they are wearing underwear, but they are constantly being taken to the bathroom until they learn. Once one of those four is officially potty trained, they move them up to the “potty trained” list and they add another un-potty trained child to the group of four. Personally, I think that’s a great system because it makes sure that the children who are learning the concept get more attention and focus. It really helped Bean.
By the time I synched up with the daycare and all parties were on board with potty training him, he was more than ready. He was asking to go potty and crying when we put him in diapers.
We went cold turkey with him pretty much. Except for nap times and bedtime, he was in a diaper all day from the time. It wasn’t long before he was able to go through nap time without having an accident, so he started staying in his underwear during that part of the day, too. And then, about a month ago, he started waking up dry in the mornings and so we decided to let him try sleeping in his underwear. He had two accidents, but that was it. And both of them happened in his doorway, as he was getting up to tell us. Ever since then, he’s been completely out of diapers.
But then randomly, two weeks ago, he started having accidents again. He would occasionally have accidents before. Not often, but occasionally if he got playing really good and didn’t want to go, he’d have an accident. But two weeks ago, he started having accidents almost every day, and sometimes multiple times in a day. And the weirdest part was that it didn’t seem to bother him. Before, if he had an accident, it was beyond the end of the world to him. He would be so upset with himself, no matter how light and cheerful Chris and I tried to make it. You could just tell he was SO disappointed when he had an accident. But lately, he doesn’t really seem bothered. Now, when I pick him up from daycare, he happily yells to me, “Mom! I poopied in my pants!”
He went through this happy thing once before and I discovered that he was happy because accidents meant he got to change into different character underwear (he’s so clever!), but we nipped that by buying several pairs of plain white underwear. Then, when he had an accident, he had to wear white underwear instead of fun underwear. That stopped those accidents in one day. But this time he doesn’t even care if he has to wear the white underwear.
When this first started, he had a little stomach bug, so I thought maybe that was the problem. But then the stomach bug cleared up and the accidents continued. I picked him up from daycare today and he had had TWO accidents already. I can’t even remember the last time he had ONE accident at daycare. Even his teacher was a little confused.
So, imaginary friends, tell me what’s going on. I know regression when potty training is fairly normal, but I’m not sure what to do about it. Do we put him back in diapers? Do we keep letting him have accidents? Do we get on to him when he has one now? Cause, I’ll tell you honestly, that’s my first reaction. I get really irritated because he KNOWS better. But then I stop and think, “Geez, Katie! The kid’s only two and a half! It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose!” Or is he????
I’m confused. Help.
05Feb
On Sunday mornings, Bean and Gracie go to their own nurseries while Chris and I go to “big church.” Up until Gracie was five or six months old, we brought her to church with us because I was nervous about leaving her with the nursery girls. She was just so tiny! But since then, she’s been in the nursery on Sundays. We’ve brought Bean to “big church” on special occasions before, like holidays or when we have family visiting with us at church or if the choir was doing a major performance. Anything that we thought would keep his attention. But, for the most part, the kids are in the nursery.
Today, though, our church served Communion and so right before they started that part of the service, I slipped out and went to get Bean from the nursery. Chris and I have talked before about how we thought he was old enough to start receiving Communion with us and today just seemed like the right time to start.
At our church, Communion is given once a month and everyone is invited to attend. Growing up, I remember my parents letting me have Communion from as early as I can remember. As a Christian, it is a very important symbolic act to me. It makes me feel connected to God through his son’s sacrifice and, while I want Bean to come into a relationship with God on his own terms and in his own heart, I want to give him the opportunity to feel at home and comfortable in the church by showing him the customs and traditions we practice. That was how it was in my family. Religion was never forced on me. It wasn’t a requirement. It was just an environment that my parents continually exposed me to so that I came to feel comfortable and at home in the church. Years later, in college, when I began to simultaneously grow in my faith and question my faith, I could go through those thoughts and struggles within the context of a place that I felt comfortable and safe in. As a parent, I think that’s the best we can do for our children. I want Bean to know that Christ and the church are where I find my strength, and I want him to see the importance of that in my life. But then I want him to make that commitment to faith for himself.
I pray every single day that both my children make that commitment for themselves.
We haven’t really done too much up to this point to introduce God and Christ to Bean. We sing the blessing before we eat, we say prayers together at night, we watch Veggie Tales, and occasionally we talk about Bible stories.
Actually, when I write it out, I guess that’s not too bad. But what we haven’t really gotten into with him is the Christian doctrine (to the extent that you could do that with a two-and-a-half year old). We haven’t really talked about what we believe. I just don’t feel like Bean can understand the abstract ideas of religion yet. So, instead, we focus on things that he CAN understand.
Communion this morning was a perfect example. When I brought Bean into the “big church,” we stood in the narthex while the minister prayed over the bread and grape juice. While he prayed, I held Bean and whispered in his ear what was happening. I said things like, “Do you see that man in the robe? That is one of God’s best friends and he is going to give us a snack today.” I told him that the snack was a gift from God because “God loves Michael.”
I told Bean what it was he would be eating – bread and juice – because I wanted him to know what would happen when we went up front. Then I pointed to the Communion rail (where we kneel in our church to receive the Sacrament) and told him that we were going to go up front there to the rail and then we would sing our blessing before we had our snack. When Bean understood what we were going to do, we went to the pew and sat down until our row was able to go up front. He does better in situations when he knows what’s going on and what he is supposed to do next.
When we got up to the Communion rail, I knelt and Bean stood in front of me with my arms around him. I held my hands out for the bread in front of Bean and he copied me. When our minister came along (who, by the way, is one of the sweetest men I have ever met), he put bread in my hands and then a little piece in Bean’s. I whispered into Bean’s ear while we waited for the juice to come down the rail, “This is our snack that God is giving us because God loves Michael and God loves mommy.”
“And God loves Daddy and God loves Gracie,” Bean whispered back.
“Exactly!” I whispered.
When the juice came, Bean was super excited when I gave him his own little cup, but I told him we had to sing our blessing first. Normally, before I take Communion, I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for the gift of his son and for his presence in my life. For Bean, that equates to a blessing. So, that’s what we did. Very quietly, Bean and I sang our family blessing right there at the Communion rail. Then, we both took Communion together.
When we stood up from the rail to go back to our pew, Bean happily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then announced very loudly to me, “Mommy, I want more snack!”
I’m sure I turned three shades of red in front of the laughing congregation, but inside I was praying, “Dear Lord, please keep his heart hungry for you.”
02Feb
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is figuring out the logistics. I remember being pregnant with Bean and sitting up all night long worrying about things like how I was going to get him from the car into the doctors appointment, or what I was going to do with him in the grocery store? What I hated most about being a new mom was feeling like everyone else knew how to do things and I didn’t, and so I wanted to figure it out before anyone knew that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing!
If I could tell new moms anything, I would tell them this giant secret of parenthood: We’re all new moms.
Every time Bean hits a new milestone or a new phase or a new age, I’m back to the beginning. Sitting up at night, trying to figure out how to do this parenting thing. It’s a continuous cycle of figuring things out. Your only real objective is to learn only slightly faster than your children grow. And you quickly realize, that’s just darn impossible.
But, it’s the figuring things out that makes parenting so rewarding. The first time Michael ran a fever and I didn’t freak out and have to call the pediatrician in the middle of the night, I felt like Super Woman. The first time Bean had a successful time out, I felt like Wonder Woman. The first time I took both kids grocery shopping by myself, I felt like She-Ra. Watching yourself learn and grown as a parent is sometimes just as exciting as watching your children learn and grow. So, if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by being a new mom (of children ANY age), take heart. We all feel like that sometimes. You’re in good company.
I thought today, I would share some random, simple, logistical tips that I’ve learned over the past two and a half years. There are a thousand different ways to parent, so some of these may not be the way for you. But maybe they’ll at least give you one option in a sea of many.
- When we’re in a parking lot and I’m trying to get the kids into the car, I always put Bean in first. He is the one who moves around the most and the one who would be most likely to bolt out in traffic, so I feel better when he is contained somewhere. Usually, I put him in his seat (now he likes to crawl up himself) quickly, without buckling him, and he plays around in the backseat while I walk around and buckle Gracie in. Then, I go back to Bean and buckle him in. This gets Gracie in her seat quickly, but it also keeps Bean contained.
- If you have two little ones and you can wing it, it makes things much easier to do dinner, bath, and bedtime all together. We have to do modified versions of this routine with Gracie so that she can hang in there with Bean (ex. she sits in her high chair and feeds herself bits of food while I get his dinner ready and then I feed her the actual baby food when Bean sits down to eat), but for the most part, we give them dinner at the same time and then we give them a bath together. Then, Chris gets Bean ready for bed and I get Gracie ready for bed and they both go down at the same time. That way, our attention isn’t focused on one child while the other has to wait. It also helps keep our evening routine from dragging out for hours. Both kids are in bed by 7:00.
- If you’re able, having two people at bath time when you have two babies in the tub makes it easier and safer. One of us takes one and the other takes the second and we get them all soaped up and clean at the same time.
- If you move a newborn into their own room for the first time and you find yourself unable to sleep because you’re listening to every twitch on the baby monitor, try turning the monitor off. Trust me, when babies need something, they make those needs KNOWN. If they truly wake up because they need something, you’ll be able to hear them cry without the monitor (provided your room is within ear shot of the nursery). I finally took the monitor out of our room with Bean because I was jumping wide awake at every noise he made. And then I realized that if he actually needed me, he would make enough noise on his own.
- When you’re putting on baby shoes on little, bitty, pudgy baby feet, try putting them on at an angle and then twisting them onto the baby’s feet, like you’re twisting the lid on a jar. The shoe will just “snap” into place.
- When at all possible, carry your infant in the car seat/carrier. I know it’s super heavy to lug around, but when you’re on the go, babies sleep better in their own space. Plus, if it’s cold outside, keeping them wrapped up in their seat with a good blanket keeps them much warmer than if you lift them out.
- Never go ANYWHERE without a burp cloth! No matter how long you’re going to be gone. Even if you’re just running out to the mailbox with your baby – TAKE A BURP CLOTH. Trust me.
- I don’t usually carry diapers in my diaper bag. I have a pack of them that I leave in the car, along with a changing mat and a pack of wipes. I found that whenever we were out and about and I needed a diaper change, I’d rather take the baby out to the car to change them anyway than change them in a public restroom. A word of caution, though, keep diaper wipes in your bag! You’ll use them for so many things!
- If you have babies in daycare, be sure you not only label their bottle, but you label the lids, too. We had so many lids lost or sent home with the wrong families before I finally got smart and started labeling the lid, too.
- This might not work for everyone, but for my babies, we tried to take them out for errands during nap time. When they are newborns and very young infants, usually they can sleep just about anywhere. So, I’d give them a big bottle, load ‘em up in their car seat, and on the drive to the grocery story, they’d fall asleep. Then, I’d just put the carrier in the seat part of the grocery cart and they’d sleep while I shopped. The only setback to this method is that when you get home, the baby will be wide-eyed and you’ll be wanting a nap! But, if you really need to get some things done, try doing it during nap time.
*****
Marriage Confessions has been nominated by the Bloggies for Best Topical Blog and Weblog of the Year. Voting is open from now until February 19!
31Jan
***New here? Be sure to get your daily dose of Marriage Confessions on Facebook and Twitter!***
So, the title of this post is a little misleading. It should really say, “B-E-A-N can M-E-M-O-R-I-Z-E,” but that doesn’t fit into my header bar. Plus, I figure that first sight words are really all about memorization, but people consider that reading. So, I’m going to count this as Bean reading.
Kind of.
Sort of.
Regardless of if it’s reading or not, it’s pretty darn cute and I was pretty darn impressed.
It’s these minor, tiny little things that he does every day that I don’t want to forget. On that list would also be the following unforgettable forgettable moments:
- This afternoon on the way home from school, Bean was wailing in the backseat because I was making him wait his turn for listening to his choice of music (side note: we take turns in the car with music, Bean gets one song and I get one song). He’s usually pretty good with this rule, but today he was not having it and so he was sobbing in the backseat while I sang along with Adele. After about five minutes of sobbing, Bean suddenly lifted his head up and said happily, “Mom! Look at my eyeball!” I busted out laughing and we talked about eyeballs all the way home.
- Bean is learning how to have conversations with people and one of his latest key phrases is, “What did you say?” He acts like he didn’t hear what you said when he’s run out of things to talk about but wants to keep the conversation going. He also says it when I ask him to pick up his toys, eat his green beans, or put his clothes in his hamper. “Mom, what did you say?” he’ll ask over and over again. And then just when I’m about to kill him, he’ll explode laughing like it’s the funniest trick to play on Mom. It’s not. But it is pretty darn adorable and I love to see him learning how to be conversational…even if it means learning how to manipulate conversations.
- He calls sneezes “snoozes.” He’ll say, “Mom, I snoozed!” Cracks me up every time. I’m laughing right now as I type.
- Bean is highly uncomfortable with me and Chris kissing. He gets really mad when Chris kisses me. He puts his hands on his hips and yells out, “DADDY! STOP KISSING MOMMY!” The other morning at breakfast, he was trying to tell Chris something while Chris kissed me good morning. Bean yelled out, “DADDY! STOP KISSING MOMMY FOR ONE SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME!” We about wet our pants over that one.
- Every night after their baths, Bean comes into Gracie’s room where I am usually reading her a book or two and he kisses us both goodnight. He gives me a big hug and kiss and then he grabs Gracie’s face and gives her a big kiss, too. It makes my heart melt.
- Bean loves hugs right now. He loves giving them and getting them. Sometimes you’ll be in the middle of playing with him and he’ll just announce, “Mom, I need a hug.” Or, he’ll be playing outside on the playground and he’ll stop and come running over because he needs a hug. My favorite though is when he is going to bed and he’s all tired and cuddly (well, relatively speaking…Bean’s about as cuddly as a cactus) and as I turn out the light and leave, he’ll say, “Mom, I need a hug first!” Even if I’ve given him ten hugs already. It’s probably just a trick to keep from going to bed, but I take the bait every time.
It seems that with two kids, they grow up exponentially faster. I can’t believe Gracie is already 10 months old and that this summer Bean will be three. Where has the time gone? How have they gotten so old? How have I gotten so old?!?!? When you look back, you remember the big things – first words, first steps, things like that. But it’s the small glimpses of our lives every day that I will really cherish. I’m so glad I have a blog that lets me chronicle the insignificant. Life is made of insignificant moments. Thanks for reading about all of mine.
Get updates via Facebook |
Become a fan of Marriage Confessions
Categories
Boys
Beancast
Bellycast
Family
Milestones
parenting
The Bean
About Beanie
Angry Bean
Baby Products
Bean and Molly
Bean's Hair
Conversations w/ Beanie
Daycare
Food and Eating
Fun with Dad
Fun with Mom
Growing Bean
Out and About
Play Dates
Playing
Sleeping Bean
Sweet Bean
Travel with Bean
Video
What I've Learneddiscipline
GiveawaysPregnancy
Sweet Pea
Toddlerhood
Sick Bean
Potty Training
Gracie Girl
Fun Baby Things
Siblings
Parenting Ideas
About Gracie
Conversations with Bean and Gracie
Sweet Gracie
Angry Gracie
Conversations with Gracie
Holidays
