After the kids went to bed tonight, I grabbed my shopping list and coupons and headed up to Target to do my weekly grocery shopping.
(Side Note: Have you ever been grocery shopping at Target? It is much cheaper than my regular grocery store, which kind of surprises me…)
I loaded my cart with necessities and pulled into the check out with the shortest line. There was a really nice, chatty young girl working the register and we made small talk while she rang up my groceries.
And then the worst thing that can happen to a person after you’ve given birth to a human being happened.
The girl smiled shyly at me and motioned to my stomach. “When’s your baby due?” she asked, smiling sweetly.
It caught me so off-guard that I didn’t quite understand her at first. But the longer I stood there staring at her, the faster the horror spread throughout my body.
“Did she just…??? No. She couldn’t have. But I think she did. DOES SHE THINK I’M PREGNANT?!?!”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(breathe, breathe, breathe)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(breathe, breathe, breathe)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Without missing a beat and in my brightest voice, I replied, “Oh, I actually just had my baby. A little girl.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” the girl replied. If she knew what a colossal mistake she had just made, she didn’t show it. “How old is she?”
And before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “She’s two months old.”
“TWO MONTHS?!?!” the girl squealed. “Girl, you look fantastic for having a two month old baby at home!”
(Side note: Gracie turned five months old last week.)
“Er…Thanks,” I mumbled. Then I grabbed my groceries, tucked my tail, and crawled out to my car. I called my mom on my way home from Target and we laughed and laughed and laughed about what had just happened.
“What were you wearing?” she asked.
“Does it even matter?!?! She thought I was PREGNANT, Mom… PREGNANT!”
So, that was the end of my Tuesday.
How was your day?
07Apr
Warning: This post is about my c-section recovery (hence the post title…). Don’t read if you’re squeamish, are eating a meal, or have no interest in c-section recoveries. Thank you, Management
(Please ignore the fact that Gracie’s feet are above her head. It’s been a long day.)
Gracie was my second c-section. When I was pregnant with Bean, he was breech for my entire pregnancy. I tried everything my doctor suggested to get him to turn on his own – including laying with my feet in the air on an ironing board – but little man was mighty comfortable where he was. At the end of my pregnancy, we did a procedure in the hospital called an EVS and the doctor tried to turn him using his hands. It was incredibly painful for me and though Bean did move a little bit, he went right back to his original position by the time we finished the procedure. Stubborn little Beaner. In the end, there was no choice but to do a c-section.
I was a little nervous about the idea of being “gutted like a fish,” as my husband so eloquently put it, but I really loved my doctor and trusted his judgment. I felt like I was in great hands and, ultimately, I just wanted what was best for my baby. So, c-section it was. And I was really lucky. I had a wonderful experience. The procedure itself was quick (about 10 minutes until they pulled Bean out and then another 20 minutes to finish) and my recovery, though long, wasn’t nearly as painful as I had heard they could be. So, when I got pregnant again with Grace and my doctor said a c-section was recommended again, I wasn’t entirely bummed. These days, a lot of doctors won’t do regular deliveries after a mom has had a c-section because of their medical malpractice insurance and the risk of complications. Plus, it hadn’t even been 2 years since my first c-section, which made the risk factor somewhat higher if I decided to have a natural delivery. We had had such a good experience the first time around, I wasn’t too worried about doing it again.
My doctor told me that the second c-section was actually easier than the first, but I was still a little skeptical. This time I had a toddler waiting for me at home and I was sure that would complicate things. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find my doctor was right. The second time has been much easier in some ways and a little harder in others. Overall though, I’d say I’ve had two really positive c-section experiences.
This time, I got to experience the one thing I missed about not having a natural delivery the first time. I really wanted the surprise and shock of going into labor. With a c-section, it’s all scheduled and planned. You show up at the hospital at a certain time, just like for a regular doctor’s appointment, only you’re there to have a baby. That was nice, but it wasn’t the excitement that comes with the surprise of going into labor. With Gracie, I did get to experience that. I’d been having some symptoms that told me I might be in labor and when I discussed them with my doctor at a routine appointment, she sent me straight from her office to the hospital. Still not exactly thrilling, but it was pretty exciting to all of a sudden hear we were getting ready to have our baby in a matter of hours.
The procedure itself this time was just as easy and quick and the doctors and nurses in the operating room made it fun by talking to us and taking pictures of our new baby girl as she was born, which we didn’t have last time. It was actually a FUN procedure to have – isn’t that weird? And the recovery this time is even easier than it was the first time.
In some ways.
The first c-section I had was difficult because the recovery felt so foreign to my body. I didn’t know WHAT was going on and so everything seemed dramatic and scary. This time around, I don’t have that to deal with. I knew what to expect about the recovery going into it. What I’ve found about the second recovery is that I push myself more to recover quicker than I did before. For example, I remembered that my doctors told me the first time around that the faster I could get up and walking after the surgery, the faster the recovery would be. But because I wasn’t used to that kind of pain when I stood up, I felt like I was doing something to hurt myself when I tried to walk. So, the first time around, I didn’t walk for about three days. This time though, I knew that pain was normal – painful, yes, but very normal. I knew I wasn’t hurting anything and that I just had to push through it, so I was up and walking the morning after my procedure this time.
Same thing with the shower. The first time, my nurses had to help me with my first shower because I didn’t know how to handle my body after surgery. It was hard to stand, it was hard to maneuver, and I didn’t know what could get wet and what I had to keep dry. This time around, I asked to take a shower on the second day and my nurses and Chris said no. Their main concern was my ability to walk and move. What if I fell in the shower? What if I got stuck in there and couldn’t move? What if I overdid the effort and bled too much? So, when my nurses left and Chris went home to take a shower to check on Bean, I hobbled into the shower on my own and took a shower. I knew this time what I was physically able to do more than I did the last time.
BUT. This has also been what has made my recovery this time a lot harder in some ways. Because I want to get up and going so fast this time and because my incision doesn’t hurt, I feel like I should be able to do a lot more than I really should be doing. I came home feeling great and moving around really well, but what I didn’t think about was that there is internal healing that has to happen. I wasn’t sitting, like my doctor told me to do. I wasn’t resting, like my doctor told me to do. I wasn’t going slow with my recovery, like my doctor told me to do. And so I started bleeding internally, like my doctor told me I would.
Worse than that (to me, anyway), my bowels decided to kill me from within. Seriously. I won’t go into detail, but let me just tell you that my bowels tried to kill me.  So, not only was I bleeding, but I was sick on my stomach and in a lot of pain.
Had I done what my doctor told me and taken it easy from the start, I am 100% confident that my recovery this time around would have been relatively uneventful and quick. I started out that way. I felt really, really good until I tried to overdo it too quickly. So, take my advice if you’re going to have or end up having a c-section, listen to your doctor and your husband when they tell you to sit down and heal for a little while.
I am now doing as my doctor originally told me and I’m taking it easy. My feet are up. My Dad has spent a few days here with me and the kiddos to give Chris a chance to go up to his office a few days this week and he has done my laundry for me and cooked dinners and cleaned up. And, of course, there’s Chris who is doing pretty much everything and more that he did during the last few months of my pregnancy. Knowing that I’m in good hands has helped me to kick my feet up and rest. And, I’m happy to report that the bleeding has stopped and I’m feeling better every day.
29Mar
After such a fun day on Saturday with family, Sunday morning was a lazy day for me, Chris, and Gracie Girl. Everyone was still at our house and would be coming back up to the hospital later in the day, so that morning we took advantage of the quiet for just the three of us to spend some time together.
After a while, Gracie started to get sleepy again, so we sent her up to the nursery and Chris took the opportunity to head home, shower, and spend some time with Bean. I used that time to take my first shower. I’ll post later on how the entire repeat c-section has been on me and my body, but I’ll just tell you right now that the shower was awesome! After being poked and prodded and goopy for days, being clean was just about the best feeling in the whole world. Of course, taking the shower itself was tricky, but not nearly as hard as I remembered it was with Bean. Generally, I’m finding that to be the case about a lot of things. The second time around isn’t easy, but it definitely isn’t as hard as the first time.
Once Gracie had napped and I had showered, I called for her back from the nursery and got her dressed for the day in one of Bean’s favorite outfits of hers. It has little ducks all over it and he has liked counting them since the outfit first appeared. Funny enough, this was one of Bean’s outfits from when he was in the hospital, too!
Now that we were ready for company, the family came back up to spend the afternoon with us again. This time, we let Bean Man hold Gracie for the first time. It was quite possibly the sweetest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Really.
Then the kisses started flowing and I thought I’d died and gone to Mommy Heaven.
When Bean started getting a little rough, as almost-2-year-old-boys are prone to do, Chris took him on a tour of the hospital for a while to get some energy out. While they were gone, I snuggled with Gracie and told her thanks for being patient with her big brother. She said no problem. And then she demanded food in exchange for her continued cooperation. And that’s when I knew she was my daughter.
Turns out, the hospital stay is just as much fun the second time as it was the first. Always someone to take care of you. Always someone to whisk away your baby when you need a little nap. Always food when you get hungry. And always family there to make you laugh until you think your staples are going to pop out.
Was that too graphic?
Sorry.
But the next morning when they discharged us was pretty awesome, too. Finally being home with just our little family of four has been better than I could have imagined. We’re all tired and a little out of sorts and still trying to figure out how to do this, but it’s the best kind of organized chaos because it’s full of laughter and love and all things good. I can’t ever remember being this happy.
28Mar
By the time my c-section was finished and we made it up to our room, it was close to midnight. My parents were still at the hospital with Bean, waiting so that he had a chance to meet Gracie. We finally got up to our room and Bean came in. I’m sure it was the hormones, but I started crying right away. I think it was relief. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the time when we were all together and here it was.
The first thing Chris and I did was give Bean 100% of our attention. He had been such a trooper all day long and we knew he was tired and confused. So, I let him climb up in my hospital bed with me (after explaining that he had to be very gentle with Mommy’s boo-boo…) and we cuddled there for a few minutes just the two of us while my parents had some good time snuggling with Gracie.
When we’d loved on Bean really good, the four of us curled up together on the bed and introduced Bean to his little sister.
Bean was pretty quiet at first. It was late and he was tired, but he also wasn’t quite sure what to do with her. To help him out, we started pointing out all the parts of her face. That’s one of Bean’s favorite things to do anyway, but it also gave him something to focus on. He pointed out her eyes and ears and mouth. And he giggled when he saw she had no teeth. We also encouraged him to touch her as he pointed out these things. We wanted him to be comfortable with her and to know that he didn’t have to stand back when she was around. That’s his sister and he can certainly be as close to her as he wants. As soon as he touched her cheek and had our permission to interact with her, he really opened up.
“Touch! Touch!” he’d ask and as soon as we said okay, he’d gently rub her cheek or hold her hand.
It really was such a sweet moment for our family in the middle of the night.
My parents took Bean home that night and Chris and I sent Gracie down to the nursery so that we could get a good night’s sleep after a long, unexpected day of excitement. Good thing we rested, too, because the next day all the troops arrived and it was a day full of family and happiness and all good things.
First, Chris’s mom came into town bright and early on Saturday.
Jackie has been such a great grandmomma to Bean. I know she’s going to love having two grandbabies to love and spoil even more!
Chris’s sister, Annie, also came up to the hospital to meet Gracie, too. Babies have a tendency to bring everyone around!!
My sister, Ginny, and he husband, John Michael, were scheduled to fly in in a couple weeks but when Gracie arrived early, they changed their flight and were in our hospital room within 24 hours.
If you’ve read my blog for any period of time, you know how important my sister is to me. Having her there made the whole thing seem real. I was so glad she was there.
And, of course, my parents were back that day, too. They were toting Bean back and forth between our house and the hospital and trying as best they could to spend time with Gracie and make Bean’s life as normal as possible. And in their leftover time (ha ha…) they were getting our house cleaned up and ready for us to come back home. In short, they are just good people and we are lucky they are so close now.
But mostly this day was about Bean and Gracie again. As it should have been.
Bean came up to the hospital that afternoon and hung out until dinner. He was a trooper and it was nice to spend a good block of time together as a new, bigger family.
Thankfully, we are learning that Gracie might be even more laid back that even Bean was. She seems to really love sleeping, but I think that’s pretty normal in newborns. She’s been snoozing a lot and waking up to either eat or toot. Not a bad life, really.
But I woke her up for some forced snuggles throughout the day. I figure she owes me after all those kicks in the ribs…
All in all, Day 2 was pretty awesome. Not only did I get to spend time getting to know my Gracie Girl, but so did the rest of our family. It was so nice to have them close by and it made me really thankful to be living in Florida again.
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